I look up at the darkened Ferris wheel and come to a stop outside the barricade surrounding it. I’m not sure why I walked back here. I guess I wasn’t really paying attention to where my feet were taking me. Part of me was hoping that if I stuck around for a bit maybe Ella would come back and explain what I did that made her run away from me like that.
Leaning against the metal gate, I look inside in a daze, hating how stupid I was for ruining the one date I’ve had since I was in the SEALs. My gaze travels across the ground when a shimmering glint catches my eye. It’s hard to see from where I’m standing, but is it? It almost looks like a ring lying on the ground underneath the wheel.
My mind flashes to the ring Ella was fidgeting with as her nerves got the better of her. Is it possible that she dropped it? I check over my shoulders in each direction but don’t see any kind of cops or security guard who’s going to give me a hard time. Placing both palms flat on the barricade, I easily leap over the side and quickly walk over to where I saw the shiny jewelry on the ground.
As I approach, it’s plain to see that it’s the exact same ring. I pick it up, dusting it off on my shirt before putting it in my pocket. What are the odds? There’s something about her, about us, that makes me feel it was all meant to be somehow. I don’t mean I’m about to go call up a wedding planner or save my money for an engagement ring. Nothing like that. But, in a smaller way, this night was supposed to happen.
Until I fucked it up, that is.
“Hey, buddy, get out of there. The ride is closed, ya dipshit!”
I turn toward the angry carny yelling at me and take that as my cue to get the hell out of here. I jog across to the other side of the fencing and hop back out, heading straight out of the fair to the main gate.
Maybe when I give it back to her she’ll hear me out and give me another chance to show her I’m not some kind of hormonal teenager posing as a man. First things first, though, I need to get a hold of her and let her know I found her ring.
14 | Ella
My bare feet slap against the hard pavement as I race toward the house. Little rocks dig into my soles as I sprint like a woman in a horror movie trying to outrun the monster. In a way, I am that girl. The monster I’m trying to outrun is the terrifying existence I will have if I don’t beat Sylvia and Raymond home.
“Hey, watch it!” a random woman shouts at me as I brush past her, but I don’t have time to apologize. I don’t have time to do anything but run as fast as my thick legs and my beating heart will allow me to go. I know that the airport is only a half-hour drive from the house, so it will basically take a miracle for me to get there before them.
I pull the night air deep into my lungs and hold my shoes in one hand, my bag in the other, and pump my arms hard as I thump my feet against the sidewalk. Tender spots I’m sure will turn to blisters by morning are already forming. However, if a few blisters are my biggest problem tomorrow, I will be the luckiest girl in the world.
My thoughts grow unfocused as the memory of the night I escaped my country flashes behind my eyes. I ran with this same despair nipping at my heels, except that night it was literally a matter of life and death.
I can’t let my mind do this to me. I can’t think about that now. I didn’t risk everything to make it to the United States only to lose it like this. I kick up my speed, somehow finding a burst of energy I didn’t know I had, and dash across the last block to the house like an Olympian. I almost fall over onto the grass as I skid around the corner and up the driveway.
There’s no car here, but the Uber could’ve already dropped them off and left by now. I stand back up on my burning feet and climb the stairs to the side door, two at a time, and peer inside. There are no lights on in the house. I turn the knob on the door I left unlocked and tiptoe in over the threshold.
My soles are searing as I quickly make my way around the familiar furniture and stop dead in my tracks as headlights flood through the front window and eerily light up the room. They’re home. My muscles are frozen tight, like my fear has turned my legs to stone.
“Move, Ella,” I hiss and take the final painful steps to my room. I chuck Sylvia’s Jimmy Choo shoes under my bed along with the bag and dive in under my covers, tugging them up over the dress I borrowed from her closet for the night, and try to get my breathing under control. Sweat is dripping off my forehead as I hear Sylvia and Raymond walk into the house.
“Ella! Ella, you answer me right now! I called you a million times to come and get us.” Two sets of footsteps clomp down the hall, coming closer with every step to my room.
I quickly wipe my head on my sheet, pulling it tight up around my neck. I close my eyes and pray she doesn’t come in here. That she doesn’t find me wearing her clothes, sweating like a race horse. Please don’t come in here, please.
“Ella, what on earth are you doing?” My door opens and I gulp, playing dead, or at least pretending to sleep as light slides in across my room.
“Is she sleeping?” Raymond’s dim voice bounces off my eardrums.
“Ella!” Sylvia yells at me, but I don’t move. I just keep my eyes shut and my body perfectly still. Inside I’m pleading with God to send her on her way, but I’m pretty sure I’m completely screwed.
“Look, she’s all red and sweaty. I think she’s sick or something,” Raymond talks from my doorway as they both watch me.
“Well, I’ll be talking to her about this tomorrow. Sick or not, she should answer her phone. Anyway, let’s get out of here. I don’t want her swine flu or whatever.” I can almost hear her eyes roll as she turns in a huff and the door clicks closed behind them.
Tears streak down my face as I look up at my ceiling. “Thank you,” I quietly sob. “Thank you!”
I lie in my bed, perfectly still until I hear Sylvia plop down in the living room and turn on the television. “Ray-ray, come here. My show is on and I need a foot rub,” she beckons him like a dog. Of course, he complies. He knows the score. His comfortable lifestyle comes with a price and, if I were a betting girl, I’d say he’s going to pay it tonight.
I ease back out of my bed and free myself from the sticky sweater and silky dress now coated with my sweat. I’ll deal with that tomorrow. For now, I just stuff it in the back corner under my bed and slip into my normal pajamas. Looking down at my wrist, I lightly trail my finger over the wristband Jackson bought for me to get into the fair.
My thoughts flicker through the images of this evening, like an old, nostalgic woman thumbing through a family album. I touch my lips as I remember his kiss, the way he tasted. My heart gallops again, but this time it has nothing to do with running.
“And I’ll never see him again.” The words physically hurt to utter. They catch in my throat and tear out my heart. I wrap my fingers around the band and tear it free from my wrist, shoving it under my mattress before I climb back into bed.
My phone!
Hopping up, I drop down on my belly, stretching underneath my bed for the purse I tossed under there earlier. Fishing it out with my outstretched fingertips, I yank my phone out of the main pocket and open it up. It takes a second, but I remember the way Julianna showed me to delete the apps and I wipe them from existence.
Sighing with relief, I go back to bed and let my tense body slowly unwind as I relax against the mattress. My mind swirls with a cyclone of memories from the night, all of them so surreal, I already feel like I’m dreaming before I even close my eyes to rest.
15 | Jackson
“Yeah, man, it’s the weirdest thing.” I watch as Ryan packs up the saddlebags on his Harley. “I have no idea how to get a hold of her besides Tinder, and her profile has just disappeared. I had the best night with an amazing woman and now I lost her somehow.” I tug her ring out of my pocket and admire it in my palm. “Just like she lost this.”
“I’ve never heard of anything like that before.” Ryan cinches down the straps on his bag and double-checks to make sure they’re adjusted properly before he swings his leg over and
settles in on the seat. “I don’t know what to tell ya. That’s strange,” he agrees.
“Don’t go yet,” Chloe yells frantically from the front step, waving a sheet of paper in her hand.
Mom walks down the steps with her and leads her over to where Ryan is all set to go on his bike in the driveway.
My daughter skips over to my side, flapping her sheet in her hand like a flag, then thrusts it out toward Ryan. “Take it,” she demands.
“What’s this?” He plucks the paper free from her grasp and smiles down at it. “Oh, you painted me a picture?”
“Uh-huh.” She beams proudly. “I painted it all by myself and even used my sparkly paint,” she announces. “What do you think it is?” She looks at him expectantly and his eyebrows shoot up comically as his lips twist to the side and he studies the black blobs with tiny streaks of orange on the tops.
“Ummm.” Ryan looks over at me for help, but I don’t have the first clue.
“It’s the blackbirds!” She jumps up and claps her hands together gleefully. “One named Peter and one named Paul,” she explains.
“Oh, of course they are. You did a great job painting them. Wow!” Ryan nods solemnly, looking over the crinkly page like he’s studying a fine art exhibit.
“I know.” Chloe randomly twirls in a circle and then stares straight at Ryan. “I got some paint on my hands, though.” She drops her voice, like she’s confiding a secret. “But that’s okay. Nana said artists get messy and I am an artist,” she proclaims proudly, puffing out her chest as her big blue eyes sparkle.
“Yes, you are,” Ryan agrees. “I’ll keep this with me right here.” He folds the sheet and places it inside his leather jacket. “Because it’s just so special, okay?”
“Uh, okay.” Chloe looks up at the sky, already much less interested in this conversation than she was a minute ago. Something else has already caught her attention.
“All right, I’m heading out. It was great meeting you, Marie.” Ryan smiles at my mother and she stands up a bit taller. Wait, is she wearing makeup? Mom never wears makeup.
“The pleasure was all mine.” She titters like some kind of shy school girl, not like my silver-haired mother. Red flushes her cheeks and I glare over at my friend with suspicion.
Ryan shrugs and revs up his motorcycle as I push ideas of my mother having some kind of inappropriate crush on my old SEAL buddy out of my mind. I won’t even let myself think of anything more inappropriate than that going on here. I’d have to bleach my brain.
Mom gives a little wave and then walks over to where Chloe has begun picking the last of the wildflowers and dandelions from the side of the driveway.
“I’m gonna pick you some flowers, Nana! Aren’t they soooo pretty?”
“They are,” Mom agrees, smiling at her with the pure joy that comes with being a grandparent.
“Hey, man, thanks for this. I had a great time,” Ryan talks loudly over the roar of his Harley engine. “About the girl, the only thing I can think of is that when you lose something, they always say to retrace your steps. Maybe she lives around the fairgrounds and she’ll be searching around there too? I dunno. It’s worth a shot maybe.” He shrugs and flips the visor on his helmet down before backing out of the driveway.
“Buh-bye!” Chloe yells and waves both of her hands wildly over her head, hopping around the front yard at the same time.
As I watch Ryan drive away his words echo in my mind. Retrace your steps. That is the advice they always give when you lose something. And... Ella lost her ring! I jam my hand into my pocket and pull out the band. I wonder if she’ll retrace her steps to try to find it. The idea floats up inside me like a red helium balloon into a sunny autumn sky. The sheer joy it brings me is enough to let me know what my plans are for tonight.
Retrace my steps. That’s exactly what I’ll do.
16 | Ella
“Pfft, you’re joking, right?” The man with the ruddy complexion laughs from behind the Lost and Found counter. “Are you seriously telling me that you thought someone would find your diamond ring and turn it in?” His laughter turns into coughing and he doubles over, his large belly hanging as he has a hacking fit.
Tears blur my vision and my chin quivers. “Can you check? Please?” I beg him to at least look for me, since all he’s done is laugh at my request so far. “It was my mother’s ring and it’s really important to me.” My voice cracks and a fat tear slowly slides down over my cheek. I brusquely flick it away, but I know he already saw it.
Pity washes over his face as he sizes me up from head to toe. The man sighs, like what he’s about to do is going to be the biggest waste of time ever. “Wait here. I’ll take a look.” He clamps his jaw down, pronouncing his jowls even more.
“Thank you.” I nervously tug at the empty spot on my finger where my ring should be. After last night, I didn’t think I’d ever bother coming out in the evening again. The whole situation was just too close of a call. I found it hard to get my heart to stop racing enough that I could even get to sleep.
However, I woke up this morning with an exhilaration inside of me that I’ve never known. Like the happiness I’ve been reading about for years in my romance novels had suddenly been unlocked inside of me. My morning was full of dreamy smiles as I remembered the fun I had with Jackson last night. But that all came to a screeching halt when I realized my ring was missing.
I searched my room, tossing the few belongings I have, even recklessly pulling out the clothes I still hadn’t had a chance to put back in Sylvia’s closet. I shook them mercilessly, hoping the ring would drop out of them somehow.
It didn’t.
So, after I did the supper dishes, I approached Sylvia in complete desperation and asked her something I’ve never requested in the entire six years I’ve been living under her roof: if I could go out.
She tilted her head at me suspiciously. “Where are you trying to go?” Her eyes bored into me, trying to pry out my secrets, but I kept them under lock and key.
“I just wanted to go for a little walk,” I lied. “I’ve been finding myself getting a little sleepy in the day and heard that exercise can help with that.” I was lying through my teeth and hoping she couldn’t tell.
Sylvia squinted at me, finally answering, “Fine. I don’t mind if you go for a walk. But let me make it clear. If you’re not home by the time I lock the doors, you better find somewhere else to go because you won’t want to deal with me,” she threatened and I gulped hard.
“I understand.”
I walked out of the front door, feeling how a criminal must feel when they’re finally released after a life sentence.
The entire way here, I watched the ground like a hawk, hoping that somehow I could spot my ring along the way. Maybe it bounced out of my bag when I was running home last night? Maybe I dropped it somehow at the fair? I scoured the streets with no luck, making my way back along the path I had ran down in terror only last night.
“Naw, lady, there’s no rings at all back there. Especially not some fancy diamond ring. Like I told ya, the chance of someone turning that in is slim to none.” He saunters back over to the counter and holds out his hands like he’s trying to show me he doesn’t have it.
“Thank you for looking,” I sniff and turn away, quickly stepping out of the musty building and back out into the crisp air. I can’t give up this easy! I just need to think of where Jackson and I went last night and check to see if I dropped it somewhere. I try to think of the last place I remember it being on my finger. I scan the fairgrounds, my eyes sliding over all the bright lights, searching for something to jog my memory.
The Ferris wheel.
My eyes lock onto the ride that’s sitting in complete darkness and silence, still out of order. My heart pumps harder as I rush over to the barricade locked around the huge wheel. My head moves back and forth like when I get to the exciting part of a book and I can’t take in the words quick enough, searching for my lost jewelry.
Nothing. Well
, not nothing. There is plenty of garbage, pieces of junk food and tiny stuffed toys like the one Jackson won for me yesterday strewn around. However, one thing is most definitely not there: my ring.
Defeated, I slink over to the empty park bench along the side of the ride and flop my head down into my hands. Tears splash against my palms as I sob. It’s like I lost her all over again, like the one part of my mother that kept her here on earth with me has been stolen. Just like the rest of my family, just like the rest of my life, has all been taken away. I can’t stop the sadness from spilling out. All these years it’s been building up inside and that ring was the only thing keeping it locked. Without that ring, I feel so lost. So naked. So vulnerable.
“Hey, don’t cry. Are you searching for this?” A familiar voice wraps around me like a warm hug.
I sit up, jerking my head from my hands, and stare through my tears, trying to blink them away and focus my eyes on the thing being held out in front of me.
It’s Jackson, and he’s holding my ring!
“Oh my God.” I leap from the bench and run into his arms. “How did you find it? You’re my hero,” I gush, clinging onto him tight.
“I told you I’d get you the best prize at the fair, didn’t I?” His gray eyes gleam as he wraps his arms around me. “I don’t know if I mentioned this, but I was a Navy SEAL,” he mocks himself and I laugh.
“How can I ever repay you? Name it.” I step back and hold out my hand as Jackson drops the ring in my palm. I don’t even think about my words as I slide it down over my finger and admire the way the colored lights shimmer off the edges.
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