by Gary Paulsen
Dunc pushed his chair in. “Come on, Amos. You and I are going to pay Mr. Watson a visit.”
“Do you know what time it is? The poor man’s probably an early sleeper. I’ll bet he’s already in bed—where we would be if we had any sense.”
“I have a feeling about this, Amos.”
Dunc waved at Mr. Kibble, the librarian, who was putting the CLOSED sign in the front library window. The elderly gentleman tottered to the door and unlocked it to let them out. He patted Amos on the head. “That’s what I like to see. Young people studying, filling their minds with knowledge, not out playing those ridiculous video games till all hours of the night.”
“You know me, Mr. Kibble.” Amos put his hand on his heart. “I’d rather study than eat.”
Mr. Kibble winked at Dunc. “Next time keep him away from the magazine section.” He waited until they were through the door and then locked it behind them.
Amos ran his hand through his hair. “How did he know?”
Dunc unlocked his bike. “Mr. Kibble is pretty sharp. I heard in his younger days he was an agent for the CIA.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Maybe. But I wouldn’t have any overdue books if I were you. He’s been known to use jujitsu.” Dunc jumped the curb and waited.
Amos was still staring at the library.
“Get your bike, Amos. We don’t have all night.”
“I’m coming. Say, you wouldn’t be interested in bringing back a couple of slightly overdue books for me, would you?”
Dunc smiled. “We’ll talk about it later—after you help me get rid of the vampires.”
“Of all the people in the universe, why did you have to be my best friend?” Amos asked. “No one else in the world would bring me to a place like this in the middle of the night.”
Dunc looked at the motel. It was filthy and falling down from age. Only three letters flashed off and on in the neon sign—G, I, and N.
Amos rolled his bike around a wino in the driveway. “Well, at least the name fits. What’s the room number?”
“Thirteen.”
“What else?”
Dunc found the room. The three was hanging upside down by a loose nail. “This is it.” He knocked loudly.
The door opened a crack, and a raspy voice called out, “Simpson?”
“No, but he sent us,” Dunc said.
The door opened wider. “Come in. Hurry, we don’t want them to see you. They’re everywhere, you know.”
Dunc studied the chubby little man. He looked like he’d come from another time. His suit was made of green tweed, and he carried a bowler hat. “Who exactly don’t we want to see us, Mr. Watson?”
The man gave him a cross look. “Why, the Dragos of course. They know I’m here. I’ve been following them for years. That’s why you came, isn’t it?”
“Well, yes, but …”
“Then sit down and listen. There’s not a moment to lose.” Mr. Watson jerked the curtains closed and turned off all the lights except the lamp by the bed where the boys were sitting. He dragged a tattered chair over from the side of the room.
“The Dragos are an old and dangerous family. Their ancestry can be traced all the way back to the Count himself … Dracula.”
Amos gasped. “Then it’s true? They really are vampires?”
“Of course it’s true, boy. Now be quiet and pay attention.” He scooted the chair closer. “I almost had one of them in France. Tricked the old man into staying out until it was nearly dawn. But he had a hideout nearby and made it back in time. Now that they know I’m after them, it’s harder to catch one of them unaware.”
“Mr. Watson.” Dunc sat forward. “My friend and I have been invited to their house for dinner tomorrow night.”
Mr. Watson clapped his hands with glee. “It couldn’t have worked out better if I had planned it.” He ran to the closet and pulled down a suitcase. “We may have them this time.” The round little man knelt on the floor and snapped open the case. “Here it is. My own secret formula, you know.”
He handed Dunc a white envelope. “This contains the only thing in the world that will poison a vampire. Extract of garlic. Pour it in their glasses at dinner.”
Dunc stared at the envelope. “Poison?”
“Don’t worry, boy. You’re safe. It won’t hurt humans.” He moved to the door. “Now off with both of you. You’ll need your sleep if you intend to outwit the Drago family.”
“Amos, you can’t wear that.”
“Why not? I figure if I put on everything except the head, I’ll be ready in case something comes up and we’re a little late to Melissa’s party.”
“Well, for one thing, Amy isn’t going to be too thrilled if you go to the Dragos’ dinner wearing the bottom half of a Bambi costume, and for another, you don’t want to ruin it. I borrowed it from my dad’s friend, the casting director over at the college.”
“I’m not going to ruin it. I’m taking very good care of it. See, I wrapped up the antlers in this sheet.”
“That’s another thing, Amos. What are you going to do? Carry a deer head around with you all evening?”
Amos folded his arms stubbornly around the sheet. “I don’t care what anybody says. Melissa is more important than any old vampire dinner.”
A horn honked from the street below.
Dunc looked out the window. “It’s C.D., Amos.”
Amy yelled from downstairs. “Get down here, maggot-heads. Our ride is outside.”
“Boy, your sister really has a way with words. I can’t wait till she sees how you’re dressed.”
“With any luck she won’t know until it’s too late.” Amos peeked out his door. “She’s already outside. You walk in front of me to the car.” He stopped halfway down the stairs. “Did you bring the envelope with the vampire poison?”
“That’s the fourth time you’ve asked me.” Dunc patted his shirt pocket. “I told you, it’s right here.”
Amos reached for the doorknob. “Let’s get this over with as fast as possible. It’ll probably ruin Melissa’s whole night if I’m late.”
“I wouldn’t spend too much time worrying about that if I were you.” Dunc stepped out the door in front of Amos.
“Wait. What do you mean by that?”
“Justin Smeltzer said she invited Biff Fastrack and half the football team. If you don’t show up, I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to console her.”
The mansion looked different at night. It loomed eerily before them, shrouded in mist. As C.D. pushed open the massive front door, its rusty hinges seemed to cry out in agony. He motioned for them to enter.
“Wow! This is some layout you have here.” Amy chomped her gum and looked around appreciatively. Then she noticed Amos. Her eyes turned to tiny green slits. “I’m going to kill you.”
C.D. licked his lips and smiled at Amos.
“Are these your little friends, darling?” A distinguished-looking man entered the hall. On his arm was a tall woman with long dark hair.
The woman looked at Amos from under drooping eyelids. “Interesting clothes these Americans wear. Bring them into the parlor. We’ll talk and have something to drink before dinner.”
They followed her into a small room to the left of the entryway. The furnishings were old and dusty, and cobwebs hung thickly in every corner.
When they were seated, the hunchbacked man who had eaten the bug a few days ago brought in a tray of iced tea and set it on a small table. Now he was dressed in a butler’s uniform, and he acted like he’d never seen the boys before.
“That’s Uncle Horace,” C.D. said when the man had left the room. “He’s the main reason we invited you here.”
“Oh, really?” Dunc edged over to the tray and stood in front of it. He pointed at a painting of wildflowers hanging on the opposite wall. “That’s a wonderful picture. Who painted it?”
While everyone looked away, he managed to pour a little of the powder into each glass.
C.D. tu
rned and fixed Dunc with an icy stare. “We don’t know. It was here when we moved in.”
Dunc picked up the tray and passed it around. “Boy, this really looks good. Everybody drink up.”
Amos mouthed the words, “Did you slip them the poison?”
Dunc nodded. He watched his hosts and made sure they each had a sip of tea.
Nothing happened.
The woman set her glass on a table. “As my son was telling you, Uncle Horace is the reason we invited you tonight. When we finally caught him the other day, he described you perfectly.”
“You dorks have been here before?” Amy demanded.
“Now, now. Don’t be too hard on them, my dear.” C.D. touched Amy’s arm lightly. “They didn’t know that we have to keep Uncle Horace in the house. Horace is sweet, but you may have noticed that he’s a little off.”
“Which brings up another problem,” C.D.’s father remarked. “One I’m sure you can help us with.”
“What is it?” Amy said in a gushy voice.
“The Dragos come from an old Transylvanian family line. When people hear that, they prejudge us. Especially when they see Uncle Horace and find out that he’s not all there.” C.D.’s father took another sip of tea. “Why, we even have a lunatic from England who has been following us around the world for years claiming that we’re—this part will make you laugh—vampires.” The older man chuckled.
Amos frowned. “You mean you’re no—owww!”
Amy had elbowed him in the ribs. “Please go on, Mr. Drago.”
“That’s about it. We’ll be leaving soon to take Uncle Horace to a doctor in California. But we’d like to come back here for vacations occasionally, and we just didn’t want any of those nasty rumors to get started.”
Amos stood. “Dunc, we have to use the bathroom.”
“It’s up the stairs to the left.” C.D. laughed.
Amy’s shoulders drooped. “Why wasn’t I born an only child?”
Amos pulled Dunc up the stairs and into the bathroom. “What have you got to say for yourself?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ll admit they’re a little weird. But they drank the tea, and it obviously didn’t hurt them. They’ve explained everything that’s been going on. What more could you want? Can we go now?”
“I don’t know, Amos. What if they’re faking?”
“How do you fake not being poisoned?”
Dunc sighed. “You have a point there. But what about dinner?”
Amos opened the bathroom door. “Leave that to me.” At the bottom of the stairs he bent over and started moaning loudly.
Everyone in the parlor rushed out.
“Oh, you poor thing. What on earth is the matter?” Mrs. Drago patted his back.
“Stomach flu,” Dunc volunteered. “Looks like a bad case. We better get him home right away.”
“What a shame. Perhaps you can all come back another time.”
Amy glared at the boys. “I doubt they’ll still be around.”
Amos moaned again for effect and headed out the door with Amy on his heels.
Just before he stepped outside, Dunc noticed something. The Dragos were all standing in front of a full-length mirror, and the only reflection he could see was his own.
He whirled around.
They were gone.
“What a miserable night.” Amos took another bite of cereal. “I can’t believe it turned out so bad.”
Dunc sat at the other end of the table, looking equally depressed. “I know. We were so close to catching the Dragos, and we let them slip right through our fingers.”
“Who cares about that? Melissa will never speak to me again.”
“She never spoke to you before. Tell me again how you got your antler stuck in the trash compactor.”
“Amy. She followed me to the party and tried to carry out her threat. She would have made it too if Melissa’s dad hadn’t walked in.”
“What happened?”
“She told him I had escaped from a mental institution, so he called the police. They had to saw off one of my antlers to get me out. I spent the rest of the night downtown.” He yawned. “All I want to do now is sleep.”
“You can’t sleep, Amos. What about the vampires?”
Amy stuck her head into the kitchen. “Someone’s at the door and he wants to talk to you two barfwads.”
Dunc walked past her. “Amy, did anyone ever tell you that you were totally prepollynosis?”
“No, but if I find out you called me something bad I’ll flush you.”
“That was a good one,” Amos whispered. “What did you call her?”
“Nothing. I made it up. I figure she’ll spend all day trying to find out what it means.” Dunc led the way to the front door. Mr. Simpson, the man who had given them the note at the library, was standing on the porch.
“Hello, boys. Mr. Watson would have come by himself, but he’s on his way to California chasing after the Dragos.”
“They’ve already left?” Dunc asked.
“Early this morning. Apparently they dropped this note off at the motel desk. It’s for you. Sorry to have to run. But I’ll miss my flight.” The tall man walked hurriedly down the sidewalk and stepped into a waiting cab.
Dunc ripped open the envelope.
Dear Mr. Culpepper and Associate.
“Hey!” Amos yelled. “What’s this ‘associate’ stuff?”
“Let me read the letter, Amos.” Dunc continued:
Nice try. Too bad you didn’t know my family and I have spent most of our lives building up an immunity to garlic.
Better luck next time. Perhaps we will visit your town again one day.
Regards,
C.D.
P.S.
Just for the record, you came closer than anyone—even Bertram Watson.
“Did you hear that, Amos? We nearly did it. Let’s go over to my house and study. Next time we’ll be ready for them.”
Amos walked out the front door.
“Wait up, Amos. Don’t you want to get prepared?”
Amos started running.
Be sure to join Dunc and Amos in these other Culpepper Adventures:
The Case of the Dirty Bird
When Dunc Culpepper and his best friend, Amos Binder, first see the parrot in a pet store, they’re not impressed—it’s smelly, scruffy, and missing half its feathers. They’re only slightly impressed when they learn that the parrot speaks four languages, has outlived ten of its owners, and is probably 150 years old. But when the bird starts mouthing off about buried treasure, Dunc and Amos get pretty excited—let the amateur sleuthing begin!
Dunc’s Doll
Dunc and his accident-prone friend Amos are up to their old sleuthing habits once again. This time they’re after a band of doll thieves! When a doll that once belonged to Charles Dickens’s daughter is stolen from an exhibition at the local mall, the two boys put on their detective gear and do some serious snooping. Will a vicious watchdog keep them from retrieving the valuable missing doll?
Culpepper’s Cannon
Dunc and Amos are researching the Civil War cannon that stands in the town square when they find a note inside telling them about a time portal. Entering it through the dressing room of La Petite, a women’s clothing store, the boys find themselves in downtown Chatham on March 8, 1862—the day before the historic clash between the Monitor and the Merrimac. But the Confederate soldiers they meet mistake them for Yankee spies. Will they make it back to the future in one piece?
Dunc Gets Tweaked
Dunc and Amos meet up with a new buddy named Lash when they enter the radical world of skateboard competition. When somebody “cops”—steals—Lash’s prototype skateboard, the boys are determined to get it back. After all, Lash is about to shoot for a totally rad world’s record! Along the way they learn a major lesson: Never kiss a monkey!
Dunc’s Halloween
Dunc and Amos are planning the best route to get the most candy
on Halloween. But their plans change when Amos is slightly bitten by a werewolf. He begins scratching himself and chasing UPS trucks—he’s become a werepuppy!
Dunc Breaks the Record
Dunc and Amos have a small problem when they try hang gliding—they crash in the wilderness. Luckily, Amos has read a book about a boy who survived in the wilderness for fifty-four days. Too bad Amos doesn’t have a hatchet. Things go from bad to worse when a wild man holds the boys captive. Can anything save them now?
Dunc and the Flaming Ghost
Dunc’s not afraid of ghosts, although Amos is sure that the old Rambridge house is haunted by the ghost of Blackbeard the Pirate. Then the best friends meet Eddie, a meek man who claims to be impersonating Blackbeard’s ghost in order to live in the house in peace. But if that’s true, why are flames shooting from his mouth?
Amos Gets Famous
Deciphering a code they find in a library book, Amos and Dunc stumble onto a burglary ring. The burglars’ next target is the home of Melissa, the girl of Amos’s dreams (who doesn’t even know that he’s alive). Amos longs to be a hero to Melissa, so nothing will stop him from solving this case—not even a mind-boggling collision with a jock, a chimpanzee, and a toilet.
Dunc and Amos Hit the Big Top
In order to impress Melissa, Amos decides to perform on the trapeze at the visiting circus. Look out below! But before Dunc can talk him out of his plan, the two stumble across a mystery behind the scenes at the circus. Now Amos is in double trouble. What’s really going on under the big top?
Dunc’s Dump
Camouflaged as piles of rotting trash, Dunc and Amos are sneaking around the town dump. Dunc wants to find out who is polluting the garbage at the dump with hazardous and toxic waste. Amos just wants to impress Melissa. Can either of them succeed?