by Max Hudson
Tony joined him again and they lay side by side on their backs. “I know what you mean. I was starting to go a little crazy. I mean the chemistry between us is-”
“Undeniable. I know.”
The two glanced at each other and then Samuel sidled up to Tony so that his head was on the man’s shoulder. Tony wrapped his arms around Samuel’s slight frame and kissed his temple, then the two slumped into one another, more relaxed than they had been in a long time.
Without meaning to do so, Tony drifted off to sleep. He was back in the restaurant that he’d dreamed of the other night and again, Samuel was there.
The light coming in was golden sunlight, the kind which fills the air in the late afternoon. There were big windows facing a beach and the waves lapped up and slid out of the shore, making a soft, kissing sound.
Together they ate, though Tony didn’t think to look at his food. All he knew was that it was salty and crunchy, full of pungent spices and warm tomatoes. The smell of it made him salivate. Samuel laughed at him and went to wipe the drool away, but Tony stopped him, pulling him for a kiss. All around them, people at tables clapped and whistled encouragement. The two of them beamed and nodded to their admirers, then went back to tasting one another.
Tony enjoyed the scene in his dreams so much that he fell into a deep, unshakable sleep. The darkness pressed down onto his eyes like a blanket and he let it settle over him, happy to curl up in this new, friendly night.
Something tickled his nose, his real nose, as he slept. Without looking, he moved his hand to touch the spot that was bothering him and the movement brought him out of his reverie little by little. The tickling came back even stronger and he woke to himself shaking his head.
To his horror, he found a small, black spider on his pillow.
“Oh! Gah! What is this?” He swatted the thing away and, to his shock, his arm swept much too far out. There was nothing but empty space next to him.
“Samuel? Sam? Where’d you go?”
Naked, he stood and walked around the bed. Samuel’s clothes weren't on the floor and there was sign of any of his other things. He checked the shower, nothing. Confused, Tony looked around for a note or any sign of what might have happened, but it was as if no one had even been there.
He went out into the living room, checked his little dining room table and the coffee table. No sign of a message or any forgotten items.
Just as he was about to give up any hope of finding some remainder of their night together, something about the front door caught his eye. There, taped to the inside was a small note. It only had one word written on its crease in the center.
“Sorry.”
Chapter Ten
The rest of the night was restless and uneasy for Tony. He tried watching a movie but half the men in it only reminded him of Samuel. He turned it off and tried having a snack, but as soon as he got a look at his bare shelves and the giant bottle of ketchup standing in the refrigerator door, he closed it in frustration.
He stood in the kitchen and rubbed his forehead as he thought back over the events of the evening. What had he said? What had he done? As hard as he tried to justify Samuel’s choice to disappear, the more his internal voice screamed at him.
“He left like a coward,” it insisted. “Never speak to him again. He’s a jerk.”
But this sentiment would dissipate as soon as Tony remembered how Samuel was kind and understanding. Even in the face of a whole staff who didn’t want him as their new administrator, he did nothing but stand and face the criticism with grace and courage.
The memory of Samuel’s first meeting with the whole staff made Tony cringe. Why did he have to be so beautiful and so different? Why couldn’t he be some old, stuffy administrator? That was all Tony wanted.
“I can’t do this. I can’t torture myself,” he decided. He hunted around the house for his phone and sent Marcia a message asking if they could please get a late-night drink. He held his breath as the little dots of a response appeared on the screen.
Now, babe? she responded. I don’t know. It’s late. I have a meeting in the morning.
He gritted his teeth and consulted the ceiling for a little extra strength. No luck. He tried again.
Sweetheart, it’s an emergency. Just this once?
All right, she agreed. But let’s go to that late-night ice cream place. I can’t be hung over tomorrow.
Deal.
Thrilled, Tony threw on some beat up jeans and a white T-shirt. He got in his car and let Marcia know he was on his way, then just let his frustration and anger propel him forward into the night. There was no traffic, so he arrived long before Marcia got there and went in alone.
Inside, Tony saw that the only other customers were teenagers, many of whom looked somehow familiar as if they were part of the crowd that pushed past him in the hallway between classes every day, and lonely adults sitting alone. He grabbed a table and tried not to stare at the people around him. His lack of company left him with nothing to do, so he stared at his hands in his lap.
“Sir? Sir.”
The exhausted woman behind the counter was talking to him. “Sir, you have to eat something. Tables are for customers only.”
“Oh,” he said with a start. “Sorry, I’m actually waiting for a friend. Can I just get a cup of water until she gets here?”
She didn’t bother answering, just handed him a small paper cup full of tiny ice cubes and freezing cold water. He smiled at her and sipped a sample of it, but had to stop because the shock of it hurt his teeth.
He sat again and pretended to be texting, but the only two people he could think of to message were Samuel, who may or may not have wanted some contact, no way to be sure, and Marcia who was already on her way. He found himself staring at the black screen, lost.
Tony settled in and sipped his water, watching the people around him. As he sat, he got a little melody in his head. Of course, he would get an idea for a song at a time when his guitar was nowhere near him. He hummed it to himself as he watched the occasional person wander in, grab a cone, and then walk out. A form approached him on one side and a hand grabbed his shoulder.
“Hey!” Marcia’s voice snapped him out of the moment. “What are you singing, Handsome?”
“Hi, hon.”
Marcia gave him a little kiss hello and then approached the counter to choose their flavors. “Let me tell you what happened.”
He filled her in on the evening’s drama, but she was a reluctant audience - the big containers of ice cream kept distracting her.
“And the worst part,” Tony said, leaning on the counter and blocking Marcia’s view, “is that he left without saying anything! All I got was this one-word note. Sorry. That’s it!” He paused as Marcia snaked around him to see what he was hiding. “I mean,” he continued, “can you believe it?”
She didn’t respond, addressing the ice cream shop employee instead. “I’ll have a scoop of the Peach Dream on a sugar cone.” She looked over at Tony. “How about you?”
He glanced around for something chocolate and pointed to a flavor with crunchy candy bits swirled in it. “Two scoops of this. Waffle cone.” The server nodded and told them she’d bring their dessert. The two went back to Tony’s spot and settled into the hard, plastic seats.
“So,” Marcia inquired, her head propped up on a hand, “you slept with him?”
He nodded. Their ice cream arrived and they licked their desserts for a moment.
“I know, it was probably a mistake. But, babe,” he said, grabbing her arm, “it was like we couldn’t stop ourselves. And it was good. Really, really good. I’ve never had an experience like that before.”
Marcia nodded, holding her cone straight up and down to avoid drips. “Are you willing to lose your job for this guy?”
The question took all the air out of Tony’s lungs. Without realizing it, he tilted his cone a little too far and nearly lost his scoop, but Marcia's quick hand tilted it back up. “Careful.”
“Thanks.” He took a big bite as he thought. His job or his crush? He had been at his school a long time. Parents loved him, the kids came in to chat with him and ask him for advice. He was fond of his subject - history had always been his passion.
And yet, if he could walk away from his position, he could have the man he wanted.
“You know,” he said after a moment, “I think I am. I’m willing to give it all up for him. This guy is like no one I’ve ever met. I’d walk over hot coals for him, you know?”
She gave him an empathetic smile and rubbed his back a little. “You sound like me when I met my Hal. You know, my mom did not like the guy.”
Tony's free hand fell to the table with a smack. “But, what’s not to like? He’s not a criminal, no tattoos, he works hard. What was the problem?”
“He’s from the wrong town.” Marcia ate the last of her ice cream while Tony gawked.
“And, what, that means he’s evil?”
She tossed the last of the cone in her mouth and munched it as she nodded. “Basically. My mom just has that us versus them mentality. It’s like, if he’s such a great person, how come no one here knows him? How did that happen? He had to work hard to win her over.”
“Geez.” Tony was at the bottom of his scoop and his cone was getting soggy, so he took a few quick bites. The decision to rush gave him a shot of brain freeze and he pressed his hand to his forehead as his eyes bugged out.
“Breathe. Breathe. Think warm thoughts,” Marcia encouraged him as she pressed a hand to his forehead. “You know, I bet this happened with Samuel. He jumped into bed with you and the intensity of it all just scared him away. He got a little brain freeze of his own.”
The pain subsided and Tony went back to eating, slower this time. “I suppose it’s possible. I mean, he came to our school on odd terms; he got a job someone else was supposed to get, he didn’t get a glowing reception, lots of people still aren’t crazy about him. And,” Tony paused, finishing his food, “a few parents even freaked out about our dance theme.”
They hashed out the situation more, agreeing that it was possible there was too much on Samuel’s shoulders for a new romance. Tony didn't say it out loud, but the admission smarted on the inside of his chest.
“All right,” Marcia said as they leaned onto their elbows at the table. “So, we’ve established you could handle a job loss over this guy. How do you feel about just waiting until he’s ready to be with you?”
Tony took a big breath. That old, weighty loneliness came back into his heart. He could almost feel it opening back up like a deep wound that he couldn’t treat. Could he wait for the man he loved? He didn’t know. It could be another year before things worked themselves out.
He shook his head. “I’m not sure.”
“Well,” Marcia said as she put her hands on either side of his face. “I guess once you know that, you’ll know what to do.”
After a while they wandered out of the shop. Tony realized they’d been talking for hours - the sun was rising.
“Honey, I’m sorry. I kept you way too long.”
She shrugged. “You’re worth it.”
He gave her a tight hug, feeling very lucky to have Marcia in his life. The two rocked back and forth in the parking lot as they enjoyed the moment and then parted ways. Oddly, Tony felt no exhaustion or need to sleep as he started his day, eating breakfast at a cafe and making it to school two hours early to finally plan. Instead, he felt a strange sense of calm settle over him.
Perhaps he was okay with waiting. Or, maybe he knew in his heart he had true friends in his life and their support was softening the blow of any hardship that life could give him.
Chapter Eleven
As students trickled into the school, Tony took a break and went to the teachers’ lounge for his third cup of coffee. He was feeling a bit of regret about his decision to forego sleep and power through the day. A nap probably would have served him better.
It was a moment before he noticed his colleagues all whispering around the long table where the teachers took their lunch, but all of them seemed to be glancing over their shoulders as if checking the hallway.
“What’s with all of you?”
“Didn’t you hear?” Matt the English teacher whispered. “The superintendent called Samuel in for a meeting today. Apparently, there’s some unrest with the parents and they have to talk to some representative of the Parent Teacher Alliance.” All the teachers around the table shuddered a little. Their local PTA was a highly active one which had already taken several teachers to task about different reading choices, projects or incidents in class.
“That’s terrible,” Tony said, both to himself and the group. “Besides,” he added, sitting and joining the others, “Samuel doesn’t deserve anything besides praise. I saw myself how effective he is with our students. He gets them. Laura Church hugged him.”
That revelation got a stunned silence out of everyone who heard it. Several pairs of eyes went as wide as they could as they all tried to imagine Laura being affectionate with anyone.
“So,” Mary, the Social Studies teacher jumped in, “that after school thing he’s doing - it’s working?”
“That explains why I saw Craig and Justin hanging out with that other kid,” Matt said, snapping his fingers as the memory came to him. “What’s his name?”
“It’s Beans,” Tony said. The look on everyone’s faces told him they’d never noticed the kid before. Was he sure his name was Beans? “Look, the truth is that Samuel is one of the best things that has ever happened to this school. I’ve already seen that some of my worst students are happier, they’re participating more, they have new friends. Has anyone else seen that in their classes?”
They all nodded with thoughtful smiles on their faces. A round of comments like, “Yes, my classes have been smoother,” and “The kids are more relaxed,” floated around the table. Tony took it all in and felt a fire build up inside him. Samuel needed them and they all had a chance to do the right thing.
“Does anyone know if he’s going to be encouraged to resign?”
“Admin’s keeping it as quiet as they can,” Mary explained. “Maybe he’ll go on some sort of professional probation.”
They each pulled a face. Probation in their district essentially meant that an employee would continue working but under tight supervision from the district. It was like having a babysitter follow around an adult, making extensive notes about all his or her movements. Tony felt very lucky to never have been in that position, though he knew several teachers who had.
“We have to come to his defense,” Tony said, squeezing into a space at the table. “Samuel hasn’t done anything wrong, he’s just a little different.”
They each blinked at him. “But what?”
The group whispered and taking notes on what they might do. Still aware of their teaching duties for the day, they each checked their watches over and over as they spoke, aware of the approaching first hour of classes. They stayed until the last possible moment, but a few minutes in they had to relent and collect their various bags, laptops, and supplies to go off and educate. Tony jumped up as well, tucking the napkin he’d used to brainstorm into his pocket and walked off to class.
To his surprise, Justin, Craig, and Beans were all inside his room. He’d forgotten to close the door.
“Hi, guys.” He saw how serious they all looked and took a seat at his desk. “Something on your mind?”
They all looked at each other, none of them wanting to speak first. Each gave one of the others a little shove of insistence. You say it. No, you. Finally, Beans got pushed a little closer to Tony’s desk and, after glaring at his friends spoke.
“Um, Mr. Wilkes, we, uh, we’re worried Vice Principal Taylor is going to get fired. Like, someone’s mad that he’s gay or whatever?”
“Not necessarily,” Tony said. He spoke softly at the sight of the boy's face, but kept his voice serious. It was his experience that teenagers appreciated being treat
ed like adults more than anything. “Unfortunately, one of our student’s parents feels that Vice Principal Taylor has potentially dangerous ideas. Most people who work here disagree, but Vice Principal Taylor will have to work out an agreement with the PTA and will be watched a little more closely. It will be kind of like he’s been grounded.”
The boys fell silent. Craig kicked a desk and Justin let out a long rush of air between his teeth. Beans shook his head. “It’s not fair,” he said to himself. He swung his backpack around and threw it into a wall with surprising strength. “Why is everyone such a jerk?”
Tony stood and went around to put an arm around Beans and gave his shoulders a light hug. “Hey, deep breath. You’re not alone; I feel the same way. All the teachers want to support him however we can.”
“How?” Beans’ voice had gone up in tone like a scream. “How are you going to help him?”
“Well, I…I will…”
His voice left him. He didn’t actually have a plan, just good intentions. Tony looked at the young boys in his room and watched as, one by one, they narrowed their eyes at him and walked out the door. He sat, defeated, on the edge of his teacher’s desk and watched them leave. He went back to his work and tried to finalize the next week’s plan, but the bell rang and students were already streaming in the door. A few of them nodded at him as they settled in, but most were already resigned to the school day ahead, plopping down into their chairs and yawning to assure their teacher they were far too tired to learn.
“Morning, everyone. Good to see you,” Tony started. He took a moment to grab a marker and went to underline something on the board. “I just want to remind you all that your reports on a major figure from the French Revolution are due next week.” He paused to let the groaning die down. Once they were done he underlined the due date in red. “And I do not want to read fifty reports on Marie Antoinette. There were other people around. All right.” He capped his marker and faced his room. “Let’s open to page 174. We’re reading the section on the proletariat.”