Everything They Didn't Tell

by Marcaila Edwards

  Beep, Beep, Beep. David's pager rings.

  “Ugh...I just got here” he groans. I let out a slight chuckle.

  “I got to go. I have an incoming. I'll see you later and remember we have that charity event later. I'll pick you up at eight,” he reminds me, leaving me with a peck.

  “Okay.” I state. “See you later.”

  ***

  I head off to the ICU to do my rounds and check up on my patients. I'm so exhausted and it's only noon. Life as a surgeon is really stressful, exciting and overbearing, all at once. I mean, I haven't even gotten the chance to eat lunch as yet. I have a pacemaker implant to do, and if all goes well, I should be out a here by the next two hours.

  I grab a cup of coffee, taking a huge gulp. I probably shouldn't have done that. The piping hot liquid rushes down my throat leaving no flesh untouched.

  Gosh, that hurts!

  The pain has calmed down but I could still feel that scorching sensation. I make my way to the scrub room toward the west wing of the hospital.

  “Hey Davenport, want to scrub in on a pacemaker implant?” I ask the resident, sitting around the nurses’ station, doing charting.

  “Yes... Thank you so much, Doctor King.” he delights, with nothing but sheer enthusiasm sparkling in his bold eyes after putting away his charts.

  “Off we go,” I hurry, pointing to the scrub room.

  ****

  Finally, after two hours of work, I turn on my heels to head toward the cafeteria.

  “Hey! Davenport!” I holler.

  “Great work in there by the way; you should consider Cardio,” I hint at him.

  “Thank you, Dr. King.” He smiles with pride.

  'Grrr...' I really need to get something to eat before I become famished. As I put my foot through the cafeteria door, the scent of creamy mashed potatoes and baked salmon hit my nostrils. My taste buds begin to foretaste the divine meal, my eyes make contact with the food and I can’t resist it anymore. My mouth starts to water.

  “That will be $8.50.” The cashier says. I fumble in my pocket for the ten dollar bill I had and gave it to her with a smile. I was already so impatient to get my meal. I knew if Robyn were here she would have gotten one too.

  Stop it. It's not time to think about that right now. Ugh...just stop thinking about her for now. Honour her promise, of not moping around. Okay, Rach? I fight with my brain. I push away the thoughts about Robyn and focus on that well-deserved meal in front of me.

  I quickly dig into the tender meat and savor the taste. Man, this meal is so divine, the creamy potato glides down my throat and into my stomach.

  I sit, looking through the glass window of the cafeteria, sipping the water I purchased minutes ago. I'm so bored, I ask David to join me but he was in the OR. If Robyn where here I would at least have someone to talk to. I secretly sob in my heart, knowing that I genuinely miss my best friend.

  Beep... Beep... My pager buzzes. I slightly lift my scrub top to look at it. ***Cardio consult Room 103 ** East wing***

  I dispose of my garbage and head to the consult. I can't ever recall being so happy to be called in for a consult; I was really bored, I guess. On entering the room door, I'm been stopped in my tracks...

  Chapter 4

  Holy Mary, mother of Jesus, this patient looks awfully a lot like Robyn. Same shiny raven hair, straight nose, curved eyebrows and thin lips. I discreetly rub my eyes, hoping that when I open them I would see someone else, but no. My heart throbs violently against my chest and then my legs weaken.

  Gosh, Rach. Just get back to work. But I can't, she looks like Robyn's twin.

  Snap out of it.

  I’m transported back to reality by the Doctor, snapping his fingers in front of my face. “Dr. King, are you okay?” Dr. Becker asks, looking at me as if he were saying 'Do you need to be excused?'

  “Yes, I'm fine. It's just that this patient– looks– awfully a lot like my best friend.”

  The poor patient searches our face for answers. Lost.

  “Oh, where are my manners, Ma'am? I'm Dr. Rachel King, what’s your name?”

  “I’m Robynett Blake,” she introduces, extending her hand after sitting up to an upright position.

  Oh, my goodness. This is impossible; she sounds like Robyn too, has the same initials.

  I probe this woman’s body, from head to toes, hoping to find the one thing to confirm that she is my best friend.

  Come on Rach. Snap out of it.

  “So, what's the complaint?” I gulp.

  “Ms. Blake came in with chest pain, shortness of breath and swollen ankles. She says it’s been going on for quite a long time now, I’m thinking cardiomyopathy.” Dr. Becker suggests.

  “Alright, do you mind if I take a listen and look at your ankles?” I inquire, pulling the stethoscope from around my neck. She nods her head in approval. I listen to her heart beat, then glove up and start to examine the shine swollen area of her legs.

  “Okay, get an ECG and a chest x-ray. When the results are in, page me,” I gasp, trying to avoid eye contact with the woman, who had the similar piercing emerald eyes as Robyn.

  Well, no two pair of eyes are the same, they say.

  “I’ll see you guys shortly,” I quiver, while disposing of my gloves. I apply my hand sanitizer.

  *****

  “I got your page. Results are in?”

  “Yeah, they're not good––” Dr. Becker sighs.

  “Let me see the scans, hmmn, what do we have here?”

  *****

  Knock-Knock

  “Can we come in?” I ask politely.

  “Sure.” She sounds happy, but I think that will change immediately after she hears her results.

  “So, your results are back. We tested for cardiomyopathy; it came back positive, un–fortunately, but it's good we got it early.”

  I go on and expound, telling her that this disease is hereditary. I tell her to stay away from all strenuous activities and how we will perform surgery to fix the heart muscle.

  “That’s good news, but you both don't– seem too happy. What's going on?” She adjusts to sitting upright on the bed, covering her legs with the sheet.

  “If there’s not enough scarred tissue to fix the heart muscle we will have to get you on a transplant list.” I feel this pang in my chest for her.

  I insist she gets some rest as we’re going to operate on Friday and then I leave the room trying not to break down in front of my patient.

  I click the power button on my phone and see that it's 5:30 pm. I do my last rounds and then I head on to the road to get a dress for that fancy charity event I have to attend tonight.

  Chapter 5

  I spend 45 minutes looking for a dress, shoes and accessories to match. I finally settle on this emerald green neck-high, mermaid fitted gown, which has a side split and gold trimmings at the neckline. Although it costs a fortune it's worth the cause. I leave the store and head to the hospital to get changed.

  ***

  Having only thirty minutes to get ready before David picks me up, I decide to keep the makeup light. I apply some foundation, concealer, green eye shadow and red matte lipstick. I look in the mirror and I'm happy with what I'm seeing–– a naturally beautiful fair-haired. These colours really make my eyes pop.

  I pin my waist-length blonde hair into a braided bun and let some loose curls hang. I add a gold hair comb to match my gold deep toe stilettos. Next, I put my gold-studded earrings in to complement my attire.

  The only thing left to do is to put on the most important of my raiment, my dress. I step into the floor-length mermaid dress and Martha zips me up. I step back, brushing my palms on my thighs, taking another look in the mirror. This dress accentuates my body; the split at the side shows my beautiful long legs and fits me like a glove. Maybe I'm going a bit too hard.

  “So, how do I look, Martha?” I grin, nervously.

  “You look beautiful, Dear, absolutely beautiful.” she answers, clasping her hand at her chin,
like a mother sending her daughter to the prom. I’m so lucky to have her. When I came to the hospital she took me under her wings. She told me that she always wanted a daughter but instead she got 3 boys. From that day till now she became my mother, at work.

  “I have to head back to the ER but call me when you reach home. Don’t stay out too long, Cinderela,” she orders.

  “Yes fairy god-mother,” I chuckle.

  I take out my cellphone out to capture the moment.

  My body freezes. I know that River Rush cologne scent from anywhere and I sense his presence. I turn around to see him, arms folded across his chest, his tall frame leaning against the door post and he's staring at me intently. I try to hide my face, which already starts blushing to pink like that of a teenager with a first crush.

  “You look stupendously gorgeous, Rachel.” He steps forward.

  “Eh. You don’t look too shabby yourself,” I joke, sarcastically watching him pout.

  “I’m just kidding; you look stupendously handsome,” I snicker.

  This man is unbelievable. His tuxedo looks like it was tailor-made for him; I could see my reflection in his glossy black pair of shoes. His freshly cut hair, faded at the side, leaving his curls at the top. It seems as if we think telepathically; I spot the emerald green tie neatly tucked into this jacket. I’m so happy that I’m going to marry this man.

  Arm in arm we walk out the room, the whole hospital being our audience, and probably well-wishers. I could hear the awes from everyone. I try to hide my blush but my cheeks betray me, showcasing the rush of blood under my skin.

  I grip my clutch, trying to get rid of my nervousness and shaky legs as David opens the door for me. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

  *****

  We step out of the car and give the keys to the valet and walk into the Convention Centre. I stand there, looking around. Just beautiful. The entire building is made from glass, the chandeliers all hanging beautifully from the pearly white ceiling and to top it off, the exquisite furniture. Gosh. We head on out to the main hall to join the rest of the party.

  This man who looks like he’s in his sixties takes the podium, wearing this awfully expensive Armani suit. He begins to lecture about chronic diseases and why they want to help children all over the world against the fight. He goes more in depth about the cause for this charity event. The whole room is now on their feet applauding the man’s speech. By the looks of it, this is a very dear topic to him.

  Mixing and mingling, meeting and greeting, I start to get tired. I whisper to David, telling him how drained I'm feeling. He excuses us from the table and we make our way to the car. The function was really good and I felt accomplished, knowing that I’m contributing money for a worthy cause.

  ***

  We pull up into the drive-way and I wait for David to lock the car. I start to shiver as the chilly air hits my body. My teeth begin to chatter and my limbs feel numb. I move closer to the door, hoping to feel some warmth but that didn’t help. That’s when I feel a jacket being placed over my feeble frame. A smile creeps on my face. He unlocks the door, allowing me to enter first. Such a gentleman. I kick my heels off and I gasp, feeling large hands gripping my waist. I giggle uncontrollably.

  “I Love You, Rachel King. I Love you more than you can even imagine,” he professes, melting my heart.

  “I Love you, David Harris.” I breathe. Turning to his face, I brush away the curl that drops over his brow, tip on my toes and place a kiss on his forehead, neither of us wanting to pull away. Slowly the lids of my eyes become heavy; I bat them rapidly. One big yawn and I’m out.

  Chapter 6

  Beep-Beep –Beep.

  Still lethargic, I roll over to the edge of the bed, knocking my digital alarm clock to a snooze. I sit upright on the bed, rubbing my eyes, and through the corner of them, I glimpse David, sleeping soundly and hugging the giant teddy bear on the couch in the living room. I cover my mouth so as not to make my silly giggles heard. I tiptoe out of bed and open the transparent door of my balcony. I inhale the whir of the fresh morning breeze and exhale some amount of tranquility. Seeing 6:00 a.m. from up here, every morn is really breath-taking, and after 2 years, I'm still amazed at the twitter of the wrens and the whistle of crickets – and – even – the croak of Mr. Toadie himself. And this morn is one of them morns when I feel like I should just stay here for eternity, just to get away from everything.

  I go for my cell and return to the balcony, locking the door behind me. I pull up my mom’s number, take a deep breath and press SEND.

  “Hey Sweetie. It’s been a long time since we’ve chatted.”

  “Mom. I know; I’ve just been really – busy since lately,” I sigh.

  “So, how’s David?”

  “Oh, he’s great. He’s actually sleeping but, he’s good.” I lean over, peering David through the glass door.

  “Mom, I really need to talk to you. Hm'm– it’s about Robyn.” I take another look around, making sure David's still asleep.

  “What’s happening, Honey?”

  “Tuesday, when I was at work, I saw this woman, who had the splitting image of Robyn. David told me that my mind was probably just playing tricks on me. So, I push away the thoughts, but yesterday at, work I was called for a consult and I could have sworn the patient was Robyn.”

  “Are you sure, Rach?”

  I take another look inside.

  “There's a difference, which I can't seem to figure out but this woman speaks like Robyn, oh, and her name is Robynett Blake.”

  “Mom... Are you still there?”

  “Mother????”

  “Are you eating properly? Do you feel okay?” She sniffed, ending the 10 seconds of silence.

  “Great, now my mom thinks I’m going crazy or psycho.” I roll my eyes, placing my free hand on my forehead, my eye water starts staining my cheeks.

  “Rach, I’m sorry. It’s just that the cops searched everywhere and they didn’t find her. Um… Did you tell David?” I knew I forgot to do something yesterday; I need to tell him as soon as I get inside.

  “ – No, but I’m going to.”

  “Don’t cry, sweetie. There are lots of people who look alike – the same. Just think about what you’re saying okay? Give it some time.”

  “Okay. Um… I have to go get ready for work. Kiss daddie for me.”

  “Bye Honey.”

  My mother must think I’m delusional. It’s just too hard to believe that two people could look exactly alike. Trying to be stealthy, I slide the door open and walk onto the wooden mahogany floor.

  “Morning, Sunshine”

  I redden upon hearing David. Didn't know he had been awake.

  "Mom said to tell you, hi”.

  "Return the favour for me," he hollers, from the bathroom, his toothbrush protruding his jaws.

  My subconscious begins to question if I should tell him about Robynett. The other day when I told him about the woman I saw in the cafeteria, he kind of shut me down. I really don't feel comfortable not telling him but, what if he thinks I'm paranoid?

  Oh, shut up Rachel! Just go in there and tell him.

  I sit on the edge of my California King bed, fiddling with my fingers, this I always do when I become nervous.

  "You're going to be late if you don't start getting ready, you know." he smiles, showing his perfect glistening teeth.

  "I want to talk to you."

  "Okay, I'm all yours."

  "Remember that day in the cafeteria when I told you I saw someone who looked like Robyn?"

  "Yup.” he nods, waiting for me to finish."

  "I got paged for a consult and when I went in the room the patient looked exactly like her, and yes I did blink a couple of times just to make sure she was real. She even sounds like her. Look, I know you think I’m paranoid but she is real.” I fold my arms, looking away from David. “Come with me on rounds today and I will let you see her.”

  “Okay.” He shrugs. I know that look. I'm not b
eing silly, David.

  “Okay, you believe or okay, you don’t care? Which ok?”

  “Of course, I believe, I’m really excited to see this girl, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up… you know, thinking it’s Robyn.”

  He is right. What if I’m just hoping that this girl could be Robyn?

  Chapter 7

  It’s been 8 hours since I've gotten to work. My Coronary Bypass went great. I’m happy and my patient is relieved. It’s days like these that make me glad I've chosen this profession. Being a surgeon isn’t just about being a person who can fix a condition; it’s also about knowing that you have the ability to change a life and take a life.

  Beep-Beep Beep

  I look down on my pager:

  ***Code Blue Room 103. East Wing (Cardio Wing)***

  That's Robynett's Room.

  I grab my coat from the hook in the doctor’s lounge and rush toward the elevator. I press button #5 and wait impatiently to hear the ding sound of the elevator.

  I race toward the corridor. I hear the machines beeping and nurses shouting. I accelerate even more.

  “What happened?” I slam.

  “She was fine a minute ago and then– her vitals started to go haywire,” the nurse answers, in a hurry while reading the machines. Her cardiomyopathy must have worsen.

  “Start chest compressions and get the defibrillator ready! ” I order, quickly taking it from the nurse’s hand and continuing the procedure.

  “BP is 90 over 60– she's crashing!” the charge nurse yells. Luckily, I had just finished intubation.

  “Charge to 200! Clear!” I shout, on top of my voice. I don't know if it's because this woman looks so much like Robyn, but I feel that if she dies, a part of me might go with her. I think it's the guilt kicking in, the fact that I wasn't around to help Robyn; this is my chance to feel like I can save her. Moreover, no patient has died under my care since Robyn has died and I don't want Robynett to be the first, especially knowing that she reminds me so much of Robyn.