“Hey, so, I talked to Chip. I was sending him something and he mentioned that you paid Teddy’s bail. That true?”
“It is.”
“So the parents are paying you back, right?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think they have any money.”
“So . . . you got six grand for the case, and you paid five of it to get him out? And at least another three to me for my work. That’s not exactly good business, Dani.”
I shrugged. “I couldn’t leave him in there.”
“Why not?”
I shook my head but didn’t answer.
“Look,” he said, “I grew up poor. My dad owned a bar but when he left me and my mom, we had nothing. Government cheese and bread for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I swore I’d never go back to that, and I haven’t. I’ve lived the American dream, and you know how I did that? I realized that everybody suffers. That you help one person, and the next one needs it, too, and the one after that, and the one after that. You gotta look out for yourself first, and then help others when you can.”
“I don’t know . . . I just couldn’t leave him in there.”
“Well, I’m doing this one gratis. I’m not taking money from you,” he said.
“I won’t say no. Thanks, Will.”
“Anything for you, m’lady.”
We paid and left the restaurant, and I decided I would go home. I didn’t have it in me to sit at the office and answer one more client call, hear one more rant about how unfair the system was or how the cops had planted evidence or how the CIA had bugged phones or aliens were beaming down messages into people’s brains.
Driving past the homeless shelter, I didn’t see as many people as I normally would. A few were huddled on the corners and a few were in the street in small groups, but the large masses had dissipated today. I remembered that I’d told myself I would drop off some clothes for them since I hadn’t done it in so long. I ran to the thrift store up the block and bought out a bin of sweaters and sweatpants for twenty-two dollars and drove back and dropped them off at the shelter.
At home, television didn’t sound appealing, and neither did music, so I sat in the dwindling light and watched a tree outside my living room window. It swayed in a breeze and the sunshine hit it just right, causing it to sparkle as it trembled. My eyes were beginning to close when my phone buzzed. It was a text from Jack.
You wanna see a movie with us?
Us?
Me and dad
I typed out: Pretty tired, honey. Maybe another time, then deleted it and just said Yes. I stretched my neck and arms and then got back into my Jeep and drove up to Federal Heights.
I had no idea what prompted them to invite me, but I wasn’t going to say no. They probably had a daddy-son date planned and Jack insisted I come.
When the door opened and my two boys stepped out, my heart stopped. It was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen: the two people I loved most in the world, laughing as they came to me.
“Gentlemen,” I said as they hopped into the Jeep.
“Hey, Mom,” Jack said, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.
I looked at his father and said, “No hello smooch?”
“I’m here. That’s a big step for now.”
“I’ll take what I can get.”
We drove down to the movie theater. Jack told us about a girl he liked, and I pretended to vomit, which made him cackle.
“What kind of parenting is going on at that house? He’s thirteen. Crack the whip a little.”
“Oh, please,” Stefan said. “I had my first girlfriend at fourteen.”
“That’s too young. You need to lock him down. I’m sure Peyton’s got an atomic bunker or something, right? Lock him up until he’s thirty and then release him into the world. It worked for Lizzie Borden.”
Stefan smiled. “I still remember my first girlfriend. Patricia Omakasu. She was Japanese and sixteen, with eyes like emeralds and the body of a yoga instructor.”
“Are you trying to make me crash?”
“We made out once in my car, looking out over the city.”
“Oh, hold on.” I rolled down the window and pretended to vomit again. Jack laughed and it was the sweetest sound I had ever heard. “So this is what I’m missing, huh? The entire family thing. I always thought it was the part of life that had to be endured, and now that it’s too late I finally see it was the most beautiful part. The cosmos put one over on me, didn’t it?”
“It’s not too late,” Stefan said. “I mean, for you. You’ll find someone and settle down and we’ll just live our separate lives. That’s how divorces work, Dani.”
“Yeah, but I sure as shit wish they didn’t.”
We parked at the theater and went inside. I bought them both popcorn and drinks and tickets to the movie Jack wanted to see—something about hot teenage vampires. The dialogue in the first five minutes made me nauseated, so I just stared at Jack and Stefan as long as I could without them noticing. At one point, Stefan did notice and grinned at me. I leaned back in my seat and suffered through a teen romance between a vampire, a werewolf, and something else—a witch or something.
I fell asleep and woke up to Jack taking my hand.
“Thanks for coming, Mom. I know you didn’t like it.”
“Nonsense. I thought the part where the girl has to choose between two unbearably good-looking monsters was interesting.”
He took my arm and led me out. I noticed Stefan staring at us, and a smile crept to his lips. Maybe it was just watching Jack with his mother, or maybe it was that he enjoyed the movie and spending time with his son . . . but there was always the chance that he missed the shit out of this as much as I did.
I dropped them back home, and Jack hopped out first. Stefan sat for a second and said, “You need to move on. I don’t want you to be alone.”
“Kinda hard to do when you’re in love with someone.”
“If that were true, you wouldn’t have cheated on me.” He leaned in and pecked me on the cheek. “Thank you for coming with us. He really wanted it.” He hesitated. “He really wants something else, too. And no matter how much Peyton and I try to talk him out of it, he won’t budge.” He exhaled. “Jack wants you at the wedding. He says if you’re not there, he won’t go either.”
“Why?”
“He says it’s a big moment of his life and he wants you at all the big moments of his life.”
I looked at the house. “He is wise beyond his years.”
“If you don’t want to come, there’s no pressure. He’ll get over it and eventually understand why you couldn’t be there.”
“No, I’ll be there. I mean, I’ll have to get completely shitfaced.”
“Fine, but you have to behave.”
I exhaled loudly and leaned back in the seat. “You sure about this? I mean, you’re gonna go through with it?”
“I love her. I’m sorry, I know that hurts you to hear, but I do.” He opened the door and got out. “Good night, Dani.”
I watched him walk inside the house. When he got to the door, Peyton opened it. She kissed him and then noticed me and grabbed his ass. I rubbed my eyebrow with my middle finger before driving away. A lead weight inside made me feel like I’d dropped through to the center of the earth, complete with fire and burning and gnashing of teeth. The rage got so bad that I had to pull over and get control of myself before I could put the Jeep in drive again.
Move on. Yeah, I was sure that would be easy.
18
The upcoming wedding hung over me. I dreaded the idea of running into Stefan at romantic dinners with his wife, seeing them skiing up in the mountains together, or the absolute oh-shit moment: seeing Peyton pregnant with his seed. I couldn’t handle even imagining it.
The next few days melted into each other. In a haze, I’d work a full day, then go get thoroughly trashed at the Lizard and pass out somewhere—Michelle’s house, my own, or even in the VIP room of the Lizard. I kept dreaming I was standi
ng at a port as some massive black ship docked in the night, carrying something wicked to be unleashed on me.
While I was in court on Friday, I got a text from Kelly reminding me that it was Teddy Thorne’s eighteenth birthday. Since the parents had never contacted me about attending a party, I figured I wasn’t really invited. I’d pick up a small gift for him, and maybe I’d drop it by his house to make up for not being there.
On this particular midnight dreary while I pondered weak and weary, I thought about Edgar Allen Poe. He died alone and in the gutter, full of regrets of lost love that could’ve been his. Was that my destiny, too? That, and worse? At least Poe left behind all his books for generations to enjoy. I would have nothing but a string of criminals I’d helped free or got reduced sentences for.
I drove by the homeless shelter and saw a few groups of men huddled around. The night was warm so it wasn’t too packed. In the middle of the road, between the shelter and the free medical clinic across the street, a few guys were pushing someone around. Looked like a young black kid. One of the men was up in the guy’s face, while the others searched his pockets. It was a common occurrence at the shelter when someone new was brought in. The guy they were hustling looked like . . . Teddy? It couldn’t be him.
I pulled to the side of the road and got out, but not before grabbing my mace from the glove compartment.
By the light of the streetlamps, I could see three of the men and the back of the mark who was getting robbed. “Hey, guys, lay off. I already called the cops.”
I got a few steps closer and the men turned. The last thing the homeless wanted was a pat down by the police. Inevitably, the officers would confiscate the drugs that made their situation tolerable for a few hours.
I froze in my tracks.
The mark actually was Teddy Thorne.
“Teddy?”
The three men hurried away. One of them dropped Teddy’s Huckleberry Finn and took off. I picked it up and went to Teddy. He was rubbing his fingers together and walking in a circle.
“Teddy, what are you doing here?”
“And I told them that they had to give it back, see. That they had to give it back because my mama gave me that.”
“Teddy,” I said, moving in front of him. “What’re you doing here? Why aren’t you home?”
“I said they had to give it back but they wouldn’t give it back. And I said that the book—”
As gently as I could, I placed my hands on his shoulders to get him to stop going in circles. He couldn’t look me in the eyes and instead kept his gaze on the ground. His fingers were rubbing together so hard that even in the dim light I could see the skin rubbing off. I covered his hands with mine to get him to stop and just held them there a moment. Slowly, his eyes rose to mine, then dropped back down, but he stopped walking in circles.
“Why aren’t you home?”
He didn’t move or say anything.
“How did you get down here?”
“I told them . . .” he began halfheartedly, and trailed off.
He must’ve gotten lost. My office wasn’t far, and I wondered if his mom had run up to see me and left him in the car or something. “Come on,” I said, “I’ll take you home.”
Teddy sat in the passenger seat and rocked back and forth. When I gave him his copy of Huck Finn, he squealed like a five-year-old. It sat on his lap now, his fingers tracing the outline of the words on the cover.
“I’m sorry I missed your party, buddy.”
“Danielle you said you’re coming. You said you’re coming to my party.”
“I did. I’m really sorry about that. How was it? Did you get some good presents?”
“I saw . . . I saw a butlerfly today.”
“Really? A butlerfly?” I didn’t have the heart to correct him. His way sounded so much more dignified.
“I saw it at my house. At my house. And I chased it but it didn’t stop. I was going to put it in a jar and take care of it, see. I wanted to take care of it.”
“Butlerflies don’t like living in jars, buddy. They have to be free. If they’re not free, they’ll die.”
“Yeah, but I would take care of it and we would be friends. They need friends, too.” He paused. “My mama said I can’t have a party. I can’t have a party because I’m going somewhere.”
“Where?”
“I’m going somewhere, see. So I couldn’t have a party.”
We got to his house, and I helped him out of the Jeep. As we headed up the steps of the front porch, I could see a light on in the front room. I knocked. I knocked again and rang the doorbell. Then I knocked, rang, knocked, rang. Still, no one answered.
“Are your parents home?”
“They like to . . . they like to go to the movies without me, and Mrs. Hatcher comes over to watch me. We watch Jeopardy together.”
“Is Mrs. Hatcher a neighbor? Does she live around here?”
“Mrs. Hatcher likes Jeopardy. Because Alex Trebek is handsome.”
I grinned. “Do you know where Mrs. Hatcher lives?”
“She lives over here.”
He led me down the street, gripping his Huck Finn tightly. We came to a little white house with rocks in place of a lawn. “Mrs. Hatcher lives right here but she doesn’t like visitors.”
“I’m sure she’ll make an exception.”
I went up to the door, but Teddy stayed where he was on the sidewalk. I knocked, and an old lady with glasses answered. She was short and pudgy and looked at me like she was trying to remember who I was.
“Hi, um, you don’t know me, my name’s Dani Rollins. I’m the Thornes’ attorney. I found Teddy wandering around but I can’t find his parents. You know where they are?”
She looked sad, and I noticed that she wouldn’t look at Teddy.
“Yes, they’re probably home.”
“Oh, no, I was just knocking and ringing there for like a full minute.”
“I don’t think they’ll be answering,” she said somberly.
I immediately pictured this crazy old lady going Menendez brothers on poor Teddy’s parents—blood and buckshot and the scent of Vicks VapoRub everywhere.
“Um . . . any particular reason why they wouldn’t be answering?”
“I’m afraid you’ll have to ask them.”
She moved to shut her door and I stopped it. “Sorry, one sec—Teddy said you watch him sometimes?”
She closed her eyes and exhaled loudly through her nose. “You’ll have to leave.”
“Can you at least tell me what’s going on? I found Teddy at a homeless shelter by himself.”
She glanced at Teddy and somehow it seemed to pain her. “I couldn’t take him. I can barely take care of myself. They asked, but I couldn’t do it.”
“Couldn’t take . . . Holy shit. Are you telling me his parents dropped him off at that shelter on purpose?”
“You’ll have to go. Now please, move your hands from my door before I call the police.”
I was frozen in place for a second and then I backed away. The old lady shut the door. I turned back to Teddy. He was humming to himself and appeared to be counting the stars in the sky. I couldn’t believe Mrs. Hatcher was right. Something else had to be going on.
I led Teddy back to his house. The light that had been on was now off. There was a small patio on the side of the house with an awning over it and an open window just above.
“Teddy, wait here.”
I ran up and climbed onto the metal beams supporting the awning before wriggling up onto the awning itself. I started to fall backward, but I grabbed the window frame like a drowning man and held on. I climbed inside to a hallway on the second floor. Standing in the dark, I listened until I heard quiet talking coming from down the hall. I found Teddy’s parents sitting on their bed. The father was watching television with the volume down, wearing a polo shirt with a giant food stain on the chest. Riley sat with her arms folded, staring off into space.
“Excuse me.”
They both gasp
ed. Fury raced across Robert Thorne’s face as he jumped out of bed. I held up my hands and said, “Whoa, big fella. I’m just bringing your son home.”
“How the hell did you get in here!”
“I was knocking for like an hour. Did you guys not hear?”
“You need to leave. Right now!”
“My pleasure. Teddy’s outside. I’ll go bring him in.”
The two of them glanced at each other.
“No way. It’s true, isn’t it? You fuckers dropped him off at the shelter.”
“He’s eighteen now,” Robert said. “What he does is up to him. I gave him everything for eighteen years! Eighteen years of my life. I’m not giving him what few years I got left.”
I stared into the man’s eyes and saw nothing but anger. “You gotta be kidding me. He’s your son.”
Riley got out of bed and put her hand on his shoulder. This seemed to calm him down enough that he turned away from me and sat back on the bed, staring at the floor. Riley gently wrapped her arm around mine and led me out of the bedroom.
“You have no idea what it’s like to raise a son like him. We’ve exhausted ourselves. Financially, physically, spiritually, mentally . . . there’s just nothing left. Robert has had two heart attacks. I had a nervous breakdown three years ago and was institutionalized for over a week. We’ve given our all to that boy. I swore that I would raise him because he was my responsibility, but now that’s done.”
“What the hell are you talking about, ‘done’? He can’t take care of himself. Do you know what the other men were doing to him when I found him? They were robbing him. Which is what will happen to him now for the rest of his life. He won’t have anything. Not even his body, because a lot of those guys are fresh out of prison and if there are no women available—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” she said, raising her hand and closing her eyes.
“Well, you’re gonna hear it, lady.”
“Ms. Rollins, it’s easy to judge people until you’re put in their position.”
“You’re damn right it’s easy to judge, because most people, like you, are assholes. How could you do that to your kid?”
“We’ve thought about it for years, we’ve prayed, we’ve consulted lawyers, we’ve looked for homes that would take him . . . everything.”
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