She didn't deny they had a connection, but was it purely a sexual one? Or more than that? She didn't even know if he wanted kids or marriage or happily ever after. He only ever mentioned commitment. She didn't know what that entailed exactly. A monogamous relationship until they decided to call it quits, or a fairytale future together.
"Talk to him. You will never know until you do. A pregnancy test wouldn't hurt either. That would relieve a lot of worry and wonder," Rina had said as she sent a small warning to Dee to settle down.
Dee had raised her eyebrows at Rina in a get real look, then turned back to Zoe in a non-shouting voice, "Maybe Rina has a small point...again. It's rather annoying when she's the voice of reason all the time. If he doesn't step up if you're pregnant, then I'll kill him."
After their tension-filled talk, she left work right away, stopping at the local pharmacy store for a pregnancy test. She went straight to Zeke's house. The drive home she had glanced worriedly at her phone the entire time, the temptation to call him hammering in her chest like a stake to the heart.
But she never made the call. If she wasn't pregnant, she could forget the whole thing and pretend it never happened. He'd never be the wiser. Unless, of course, she still got pregnant down the road from having sex two days ago when they hadn't used a condom. She immediately started taking her birth control again the next day. She hated to deceive him, but fear won that battle.
It had taken over an hour to finally pee on the stick. Her nerves had been raw and the urge to pee wouldn't come. It was like her body refused to help her out, trying to tell her, you don't wanna know.
Now, pacing in the bathroom, waiting the torturous three minutes the instructions told her it took to tell if she was pregnant or not, rattled her nerves to the point of exhaustion. She had decided to go with the digital kind, worried that she wouldn't be able to read two pink lines or not. It would be impossible to misinterpret, pregnant or not pregnant, flashing in her face.
She stopped pacing and looked at the stick. Nothing glared back except the hourglass timer blinking away. Who in the hell created this? Who thought three minutes was a good amount of time to find out if your world was changing? It wasn't. Time suddenly became her enemy. Her horrible, horrible enemy. What was wrong with one minute, or even thirty seconds? She could only take so much torture.
She glanced at her watch. Only a minute had passed. It felt like an hour already.
Ugh! She couldn't take it.
She walked out of the bathroom with wobbly legs and headed for the kitchen. Pulling a glass from the cabinet, she turned on the faucet and let the water flow for a while until it turned as cold as it could get. The urge to pee again came full force. Why couldn't her impulses have been kind to her an hour ago? Her misery would be over.
She ignored the pressure and filled up her glass. Taking a long, slow sip, she savored the cool liquid running down her throat. Suddenly, eyeing the glass with irritation, she took a gulp, emptying the contents swiftly. There. That task should've taken at least two minutes to complete.
She walked back to the bathroom, then rushed to the counter as the urge to pee instantly vanished. The hourglass symbol flashed. She couldn't take it. How had three minutes not gone by already?
Then she remembered what the instructions said. Sometimes the devices were faulty. If her stupid stick was faulty, then she'd have to pee on another stick. Wait another three minutes. She only bought one package. One package contained two sticks. What happened if both sticks were faulty?
She slapped the counter. A stinging sensation travelled from her hand down to the tips of her toes. She wouldn't be able to handle the frustration of driving back to the store and buying another package.
She couldn't take it. Her boiling point had tipped the scale, the stress engulfing her.
A loud scream erupted.
***
Zeke unlocked the front door and sighed in relief. He had stressed the entire drive from Zoe's office. He'd been surprised when Rina told him she left early. When he had asked why, she refused to look at him and said Zoe hadn't been feeling well. She wouldn't explain further. His anxiety had ratcheted up a notch, knowing quite well she was leaving something out.
They had talked with Young, who provided no additional information. Zeke knew deep down he was lying and hiding something, but he hadn't cared. His worry for Zoe took front and center. He had told Ben he was calling it a day and rushed home.
He closed the door and flipped the lock when he heard a scream. "Zoe!"
He pulled his weapon out of his holster and rushed to his bedroom where he heard the scream. Zoe stood outside the doorway to the master bathroom.
She jumped, putting her hand to her chest. "Why do you have your gun out? What's wrong?"
"What's wrong? What the hell do you think is wrong? I heard you scream and thought you were in trouble. What's wrong with you?" Zeke shouted.
"I didn't mean to scream. Please put the gun away," she said calmly.
Zeke holstered his weapon. His hand shook as he did. She stood so calmly. Too calmly for his tastes. He shouted at her and she didn't shout back. She always shouted back.
"Clearly, it's something or you wouldn't have screamed. You left work early. Rina said you weren't feeling well. What's wrong?"
"Why were you at my work?"
"Does it matter? I want to know what's wrong. What aren't you telling me?"
"Why were you there?"
He shifted on his feet as he raised a brow. Ignoring his questions. Something was obviously very wrong here.
"We were talking to Young. Mills's murder has to do with the company somehow. Ben and I have no solid proof, but we know he's hiding something. Be careful around him. There. I answered your question, now you answer mine."
"I'm pregnant. I just took the test and it was pissing me off," Zoe finally mumbled.
The floor shifted. His knees almost buckled as the words I'm pregnant echoed around the room. She couldn't possibly have said that. She's on the pill.
He wasn't ready for that. Or was he? What did she mean she was pissed? She didn't want a baby—or she didn't want a baby with him.
Damn. And he thought his anxiety when Rina told him she wasn't feeling well was bad. Upgrade that feeling to catastrophic.
When he rushed home to find her, he never expected this. "Are you sure?"
"If you don't believe me, look for yourself. The stick's in the bathroom," Zoe said sharply as she pointed to the open door.
Without a word, Zeke walked past her into the bathroom and stared at the stick.
Pregnant.
Well, shit. Now what did he do?
Correction. What did they do?
He walked out of the bathroom. "How did this happen?"
"Gee, how do you think? Insert long pointy thing into waiting hole," Zoe snapped.
"Thank you, captain obvious. Not what I meant. You said you were on the pill," Zeke snapped back.
"Yeah, the pill isn’t one hundred percent effective. Ask any doctor. I didn't ask for this, you know. And it could've happened from two days ago."
"Why do you say that? You've been on the pill. They may not be one hundred percent effective, but pretty damn close to it."
"Because I haven't been on the pill since that disastrous night."
His lips formed a tight line as his entire body went rigid. "You said you were on it. You lied to me."
"I didn't mean to. You mentioned protection and I suddenly couldn't remember when I had my last period. I panicked," Zoe said as her voice broke. "I'm sorry."
"You panicked. That makes it okay?" He shook his head. Anger. Frustration. Fear. It all consumed him.
Her hand wiped her cheek with a swift motion. "Like you've never panicked in your life.
Panic. Hell, yeah, he had panicked in his life. He could remember it all so clearly. The exact moment he realized when he thought he slept with a hooker and couldn't seem to regret it. That a woman came before his job. That he wanted to do it al
l over again. That he thought he had to pay her for her services. That he had been completely wrong in his assumptions. And how he let her walk out of that room.
He knew panic well.
"We'll figure this out." Zeke paused, unsure of what else to say. "I'll start making supper. We can talk about…baby stuff later."
***
Just like that. He walked out of the room. No hesitation. No waiting to see if she wanted to say something else. Nothing. He simply walked out.
That wasn't what she wanted to hear. Or what she wanted him to do. She wanted him to shout with joy and pull her into his arms. Tell her everything would be all right. What did we'll figure this out mean?
Her house had been cleaned, cleared of all destruction. Zeke had hired a cleaning crew for her, informing her it was best if she didn't see her house that way. She had immediately agreed. His simple look and hesitant words told her it wouldn't be a pretty sight.
Perhaps she should go back home now. His reaction indicated he wanted space. She would give it to him. Not that she wanted to.
She wanted to stay right here—with him. She hadn't had much time to accept the truth since he busted into the room with his weapon out. But she had plenty of time while waiting to pee and pace during the three long torturous minutes.
Overwhelmed, confused, a little frightened no doubt about that. But excitement overruled all those other harrowing emotions. She could already imagine a tiny bundle of joy just like him.
Two days of bliss. Two days of learning, of talking, of exploring their lives together, but not enough time to truly understand a person. Their tumultuous relationship happened so quickly. And yet, none of that mattered to her. She could picture him holding their beautiful creation and knew he'd be a wonderful father. She wanted that family with him. The question remained. Did he want it, too? It wasn't looking good in her favor.
She cleaned up the mess in the bathroom as the tears finally found release. Holding them back in front of him had taken an amount of strength she hadn't realized she possessed. One tear had escaped, wiping it away quickly. He obviously hadn't noticed because he didn't comment or do a thing about it. Like wrapping her up in his warm embrace. Or maybe he saw it and simply didn't care.
She sat down on the toilet, letting out all the emotions she had locked inside. There was no holding back this time. They came out like a rushing waterfall. Nothing would stop them. Or maybe one thing could.
His touch.
She wanted him to magically appear in front of her and tame her tears. She wanted him to be happy about this. And accept her apology. She didn't mean to lie. Nothing but panic.
She figured it was very fitting the roles had been reversed. He hadn't meant to treat her the way he did that lone night. She knew that now. He had apologized. And what did she do? She had given him a hard time. Took her time to let him back into her good graces. So how long would it take him to forgive her?
After marring her cheeks with tear stains, creating a headache of great proportions, she calmed down. Washing her face as best as she could, the bed called her name until Zeke came in an hour later telling her it was time to eat.
She refused to look at him when he stepped into the room. She had to look like a complete mess. When she stepped into the bathroom, the mirror confirmed that. Washing her face again, it did nothing to erase the marks of her tears from earlier. Her eyes were still puffy and red-rimmed. She looked pathetic and downright scary.
What would he think? No sex appeal here. Wait until she was fat and round. His disgust of her would increase. His lack of acceptance and encouragement with the situation brought her self-consciousness front and center. She tried to stop it and failed.
She walked out of the bedroom, determined to keep her composure. She wouldn't cry in front of him. If he ignored it again, she'd never survive the rejection.
***
Zeke stole glances at Zoe as she ate, taking nibbling bites as she went. His worry increased each time she moved her fork around, but made no move to take a bite. Was it the pregnancy? Did her anger over the situation make her not hungry?
The evidence couldn't be mistaken. It was written all over her face. She had cried. That quick swipe of her cheek right before he walked out had been a tear falling. He hadn't been positive if that was the case, but clearly, it was. Why did he walk out?
Any time he needed the perfect words to leave his mouth he seemed to freeze instead. What could he possibly say to change her mind? He knew she cried over regret and disappointment that they were pregnant.
He wanted this baby. So badly.
As he prepared supper, a simple spaghetti meal, calmness swept through him. He couldn't imagine anyone else as the mother of his children. He stood at the counter for a few minutes, letting it sink in. The longer he stood there with the picture of her sweet face, holding their baby, the more excited he became.
He couldn't wait to tell his mom. Her excitement would probably overshadow his. She'd been waiting years for him to join the baby making in the family. He needed to catch up to his sister.
Imagine all the fun they could have. Trying to make another baby after this one would be nothing less than glorious. Just like her. Even as she sat at the table, red eyes and all, she was beautiful. He wanted her. He knew he always would.
He cleared his throat to gather courage to talk about the baby when she quietly said, "I think I should go back home now."
Zeke almost dropped his fork. "Why?"
Zoe looked up. "Because we both need some space to think about the future. It's not just about us anymore. We have to make the right decisions."
"What decisions?" Zeke demanded.
"I don't know. That's why I said we needed some space," Zoe snapped.
"I know this threw us for a loop, but we have to be smart here. Someone still wants that flash drive from you. What are you going to do if they come at you when you're home alone? You just said you have more than yourself to think about now."
He gripped the fork handle as panic rushed to his heart. He did not, for one minute, want her leaving his house. Because of the murder. Because of the baby. Most importantly, because of her. He could tell by the way her face fell into fear that the murder case never entered her mind.
"Fine. I'll stay for a bit longer. You'll solve this case soon, right?"
"I sure hope so. For both our sakes."
***
They finished their meal in silence. Zoe barely touched her food. She pleaded a headache afterward and went to lie down. She went to his room, not having the energy to move to the spare bedroom. Did he still want her in his bed? She had no clue. But she knew she wanted to be in his arms. Not fighting. Not feeling this distance.
She didn't think it would happen, but she fell asleep. Later that evening, the bed dipped a little when Zeke joined her, rousing her out of a pleasant dream. Yet, he didn't say anything.
She stiffened, waiting for rejection. For him to fall right to sleep. Or maybe even kick her out of the bed. They hadn't gone to bed one night without taking each other.
Out of nowhere, an arm snaked around her waist and pulled her closer. For the first time that night, contentment washed over her. He made no move to caress her body or start a bout of lovemaking, but it was okay. She didn't need that. All she needed were his arms wrapped tightly around her. That said enough. The morning may show a different story, but at the moment, everything felt good.
Sleep came easily again. She drifted awake when a loud ring reverberated around the room. A glance at the clock said it was only three thirty.
The bed shifted as Zeke rolled to his side of the bed. "Hello." A few more pauses and then she heard, "Shit. I'll be right there."
She finally turned toward him. He twisted the switch from the lamp on his nightstand. Light filled the room. He looked at her, then scooted closer and pulled her into his arms. "I have to go. There's been a murder."
She snuggled closer. She didn't want him to leave. Hated the thought of it. Hated
that they hadn't settled anything to her liking. "Can't someone else take it?"
The minute she asked that, she knew it was selfish and unreasonable. She didn't want him to leave. But perhaps he wanted to leave.
She buried her face into his chest before she could see the truth in his eyes.
Closure. That's all she wanted before he left.
"I have to. I'll always get calls at this hour because murder doesn't sleep. That's part of the package when you're with me. It sucks, but it's my life." He paused and kissed the top of her head, his hot breath flowing down her neck. Soothing her. Comforting her.
"The body's been identified already. I need to be there. It's...it's Murphy." He kissed her head again and rubbed her back when shivers wracked her body. "I don't want to leave. I can send an officer here. I don't—"
"No, that's not necessary. I'll be fine."
He pulled her away and cupped her face. "Do you have to interrupt me?"
She couldn't help but offer a sweet smile. He smiled back, then kissed her briefly. "I think you should be fine. No one should know you're with me. I won't have an officer sit with you, but I'll have them drive by a few times. Okay?"
"Okay. You're right. Besides Dee and Rina, no one knows I'm dating you."
He must not have minded the word dating as it fell from her lips because he pulled her in for another kiss, grabbed her tightly into his embrace, and pushed her into his hard erection.
"What I wouldn't do to finish what I just started. Go back to bed." Zeke lightly kissed her forehead and hopped out of bed.
Zoe watched as he quickly changed, kissed her again on the lips, and ran out the door. Nothing was said about the baby. She felt foolish thinking they would when he needed to leave. She touched her lips, treasuring the memory of his last kiss, taking it as a good sign everything would work out between them. She hoped so anyway.
She went back to sleep, or at least tried to. Worry plagued her mind, making it difficult to fall back into a decent sleep. Worry about the baby. Worry about the relationship. Worry about Zeke working a murder that she tied into.
Chapter 7
One Taste of You (One Taste #1) Page 8