One (Love by Numbers Book 5)

by E. S. Carter

  We’re in the back of a taxi, heading God knows where, but I know Elaina has everything under control and isn’t holding this morning against me.

  She pulls out her tablet and after a few swipes reads out today’s agenda.

  “We’re headed to Women’s Daily, for your weekly cooking and nutrition slot, then straight from the studio to an interview with a men’s health magazine followed by a four o’clock meeting with the Wicked Water reps for a final image approval.”

  “What?” I snap my head away from the dreary view outside my window where I was aimlessly watching the world go by and stare at Elaina.

  “I said…”

  “I heard what you said. I didn’t know we had a Wicked Water meeting. I thought all that was wrapped up?”

  She looks over at me with an expression that says ‘I give up on you sometimes’ and replies, “We always get the final say on images, Flynn. It’s standard protocol. But because you’re the star of this campaign they want to schmooze you and keep you happy.”

  “Cancel it.”

  It’s her turn to snap her head towards mine.

  “I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can. I don’t want to waste my time in that meeting.”

  Her pretty eyes harden, and she fires back “Oh, no? Would you rather use your precious time to trawl for skanks or drink yourself into oblivion? I’m not cancelling. Grow the fuck up.”

  Anger, frustration and a hefty dollop of anxiety war for dominance in my gut.

  I want to ask if he will be there but I can’t risk revealing anything, not even to Lei.

  Fuck. My. Life.

  I pray for divine intervention. Anything to get me out of that meeting at four o’clock. I cannot be in the same room as Isaac Fox ever again.

  “Did your father show you the snaps from the cruise?”

  I glance up from my tablet where I’m checking my schedule for today and watch my mother as she prepares breakfast for her ‘two remaining men’, as she calls us. She means my father and me, seeing as all my brothers have flown the nest.

  “Yes. Twice. They were riveting,” I reply with humour thickening my voice.

  “Oh hush, they aren’t that bad. Okay, he took a lot of sunsets and boats, but we both know where you got your artistic flair from and it wasn’t your father.” She winks at me over the steaming pan of scrambled eggs before turning to squeeze some fresh juice.

  “I’m heading over to Josh and Laura’s later. Josh mentioned you have something for him.” She places a steaming plate of food before me and a small glass of fresh orange. Being the last son at home certainly has its benefits.

  “Yeah, I’ll grab it from my room. It’s just an IOU certificate for studio time when the new baby arrives. I thought it would make a great pre-baby gift, plus I feel a little guilty that I missed the whole baby shower get together when I was called away the other month.”

  “That’s a fabulous idea, darling. I know they loved the shots you took of Ivy when she was a newborn.”

  “Yeah, well. It’s the least I can do. Besides, isn’t Laura well past her popping date?”

  My mother raises her eyebrows as she sits opposite me and begins to sip her tea. “Women don’t pop, Isaac. It’s much more painful than that. I sometimes wonder how I ended up with five of you. Every time I gave birth I told your father that was the last. And, yes, Laura is four days overdue. Josh said she’s getting anxious which is why I’m going to sit with her today for a few hours while he’s in work. Isn’t it ridiculous that fathers are only allowed time off after the baby makes an appearance? What about supporting their families? It seems a double standard to me.”

  I’m barely paying attention to her words because my eyes have just landed on the appointment that’s plotted into my diary for four o’clock today.

  4 PM Wicked Water – Head Office, Davenport Square

  “What’s wrong, darling? You look like someone just stole your camera and dropped it over the side of London Bridge.”

  Her words are meant to make me smile, but the churning in my gut makes that an impossibility.

  “Isaac?”

  I lift my head and look over at my mother. Her face is a perfect representation of each one of us. When I look at her, I see home, family, security and love.

  “Just work stuff, nothing important. I’ll go and grab that certificate before I head out. My day is jam packed, so I’d best get a head start.”

  I push my stool back from the breakfast bar and grab a piece of toast to go.

  “All work and no play…”

  “Yeah, yeah. I know. I’m okay, Mum. I promise.”

  She looks me over thoughtfully, her eyes lingering on my face, studying my features.

  “It’s more than that. I see you thrive under pressure when it’s just work related stress. Whatever this is it’s leaving dark circles under your eyes and a heavy burden on your shoulders.”

  Damn, my mother has always been too perceptive for her own good.

  “Ma, it’s…”

  “Please don’t insult me by telling me it’s fine, or that you’re fine or any other version of the word fine. I’m a woman, we invented the use of the word fine, when, in fact, everything is far from being fine.”

  I laugh lightly and shake my head. “I was going to say it’s all good. Nothing to worry about. You’re the one with an issue with the word fine.”

  She narrows her eyes at me in consternation. “And you’re deflecting, very poorly, I might add.”

  I turn my eyes away from her face and drag my hand through my hair. It tangles at the ends, and I have to tug with some force to remove my fingers from the knots.

  “I need a haircut.”

  “Isaac.” She uses that tone, the one you’ve heard your entire childhood and even as an adult it makes you stop in your tracks.

  I turn my head to face her once more. Her eyes now searching mine, attempting to pry out all the things I hold back.

  “I can’t stop thinking about someone. Someone who is no good for me and when I say no good, I mean on every level. He’s…”

  My sentence drops off as I try and search for the words to finish.

  “The one.”

  “No.” the word erupts from my lips like a curse.

  “We’re like fire and gasoline. He will burn me alive, and I will only fuel the flames.”

  She’s quiet for a moment, absorbing my words.

  I wait, hoping for some wisdom, hoping for someone to tell me what to do.

  “Then walk away, before you both end up reduced to ash.”

  “I have. There’s nothing between us.”

  She slowly rises from her seat and walks towards me, her palm reaches up and cradles my cheek.

  “Oh, my sweet boy. When there’s as much heat between you as you’ve just admitted, I wouldn’t call that nothing.”

  Her lips turn up slightly on the corners as I lean in to her comfort and she continues, “The sun is in the sky for a reason. It brings life, it brings warmth, and without it, we wouldn’t be here. But just like the sun, something’s cannot be looked at directly as they can make you go blind. Is he no good for you or are you allowing yourself to be blinded by something else?”

  An hour later, I’m leaving my parents’ house on the back of my motorbike. It isn’t often I get to take out my Kawasaki Zephyr because I normally have my camera and equipment with me, but today is full of meetings, including the last one of the day when I may come face to face with Flynn Phillips.

  Maybe that’s the main reason I take the bike instead of calling for a cab, this way I can make a speedy getaway if needed.

  I lift my hand and flip down my visor, waving to my mother as she pulls away in her car to go and spend the day with Laura.

  I bet Josh is on pins waiting for the new arrival. He’s never liked feeling impotent and unable to control things, but he’s just going to have to let nature take its course this time. Poor bloke.

  At least my problems are somewhat under my co
ntrol.

  Even if Flynn attends in person today, it doesn’t mean I can’t keep my distance and remain professional. The fact that I haven’t been with anyone else since that night is irrelevant, I’ve just been busy and in a different country almost every other day.

  Like that’s ever stopped you before.

  Lunchtime comes and goes. The morning is spent showing my portfolio and mock-ups for a new ad campaign for a high street clothing store. I leave the meeting feeling buoyed. They loved my ideas, and I get to work with some amazing people that I have admired from afar but never had the chance to work with before.

  Lunch is a quick sandwich and coffee to go, which I consume on the back of my bike before I head off to meet Jake’s wife Emma at his new production company. JF Global is a new addition to his steadily growing brand. Not only is my brother the hottest actor on the planet right now, but he’s also a business-savvy entrepreneur with his fingers is so many pies I’m surprised he can keep track. He hires me for everything. There’s nothing better than a healthy dose of nepotism. If the Fox family can keep things in-house, we strive to do so, it’s the perks of being one part of a successful family, I guess.

  Jake won’t be in attendance today because he’s currently filming some major feature film in the wilds of Brazil, but I know Emma is more than capable of running their business without him. In fact, it’s her smiling face that greets me as I pull up right outside the front doors of the building just fifteen minutes later.

  “Hey, Iz. It’s been too long. I haven’t seen you since the wedding.” She brings me in tight for a hug before releasing me.

  “Thanks for the beautiful wedding album and the canvas. I never realised you even took that shot.”

  She’s thanking me for the pictures of their wedding, and the unguarded, intimate shot of them that I took just moments before they left the reception.

  Emma is sat sideways across Jake’s lap, her dress trailing across the floor in delicate waves. Her arm is around his neck, while his hands hold her waist and they lean into each other forehead to forehead their eyes seeing no one but each other, it’s as if there is no one else in the room. No, it’s more than that, it’s as if they are the only two people left on the planet. The look of love on their faces radiates outwards eclipsing everything else.

  I had the image made into a large canvas, and from what my mother has said, it sits proudly on the wall of their living room.

  “Thanks for letting me be a part of your day. Honestly, it was my pleasure.” It’s the truth. That day changed me somehow.

  “So,” I step out of her embrace and link my arm through hers. “There’s still time to ditch my big brother and fall helplessly in love with his younger, more charismatic sibling.”

  She knows I’m teasing and plays along, guiding me through the reception area into the offices beyond.

  “Do you mean Liam? Because I think he’s got himself tangled up with another woman.”

  “Try again,” I interject with a huff.

  “Well, you can’t be talking about Josh, everyone knows he only has eyes for Laura.” Even without looking at her face I know she’s smiling.

  “You wound me.” I raise my hand and place it across my heart dramatically.

  “And that is why you’re not the actor in the family. I’ve seen more realistic performances in Sharknado.”

  “Shut up. It wasn’t that bad.” I’m semi-serious. I thought I nailed that pretty bloody well.

  She chuckles before walking through the door of her office and sitting down on the sofas that take up a large corner of the room.

  “It wasn’t that good, either. Let’s just say that Jake takes pictures about as well as you act.”

  Jake cuts the heads off people and blurs most frames.

  “Yeah, okay. I’ll give you that. So, what have you got for me today?”

  She picks a small file from the table and hands it over.

  “We need location shots for the indie-film Jake is desperate to make. He wants to direct it and is looking for some complete unknowns to take the leads. He wants to give someone a break. It’s his pay it forward I guess.”

  I read over the brief synopsis of the film; it sounds bloody amazing. Three men in a dark and dangerous world, trying to take down a secret organisation from the inside out. Fighting against their own flesh and blood to restore order and protect the innocent. It’s dark, and it’s gory, and it sounds fucking epic.

  There’s a lead role for a Cole Hunter and another for a Faye Craven. Even the secondary roles for his brother and trusted friend sound gritty, twisted and all kinds of messed up. Messed up in a seriously good way.

  “This looks amazing. Has Jake found his leads yet?”

  She smiles proudly before replying, “Not yet, once his current shoot wraps up it’s his next project. He’s really excited about this. I am too.”

  Emma’s face is filled with adoration and love just speaking about her husband. It fills me with a yearning. I want someone to look just like that when they talk about me. And isn’t that just a scary fucking thought.

  Uncomfortable with the way my mind is heading, I stand, close the file and tuck it under my arm.

  “I’ll get right on those locations. I may also have a few others that could work, so I’ll scout those out next week and have them ready for when Jake returns.”

  “Thanks, Iz. He hoped you’d be excited about this. He’s planning on asking you to take on the cinematographer’s role, so if it’s something you’d want to try your hand at, the job is yours. Jake was going to ask you himself when he gets home, but he knows how busy you are right now and wanted me to plant the seed before you’re booked up for the next five years solid.”

  Wow. That would be amazing. I said I appreciated nepotism but giving me such a huge role, one I’ve never undertaken before, really blows me away.

  “I’d…” I’m lost for words.

  “You don’t have to make a decision yet, just think about it.” Emma offers me a kind smile and walks me towards the door.

  Finally finding my tongue I answer, “No, tell Jake I want it.”

  She stops before reaching for the handle and turns to look at me.

  “Why don’t you tell him yourself when he comes home in three weeks. I think you should be the one to make his day. He wants this to be a family venture. I know he has plans for all of you, even Josh. Although, I’m not sure how much he will want to get involved considering the new baby and his teaching job.”

  Getting to work with all my brothers on one project would be the highlight of my career so far. I can see why Jake is excited about this.

  “Wow. You’ve really changed him, you know that.”

  She looks thoughtfully at me before responding, “He’s given me more than I ever thought I wanted. I think when you’ve found the person you’re supposed to be with, the change comes naturally for both of you.”

  I’m not sure what she sees on my face, but as I move to step out of her office, her hand lands on my shoulder and she speaks softly and with meaning.

  “You have to trust yourself, Iz. Nobody but you can say if something is right or wrong or if someone is right or wrong. On paper, Jake and I would look so wrong, but in life, there is nothing and no one else that could be so right, for either of us.”

  I leave the JF Global offices excited for the new project, confused about Emma’s words and yet hopeful.

  That is until my phone chimes with an alarm to remind me of my next meeting.

  Flynn Phillips.

  He’s so very wrong for me in every way, on and off paper. I just hope he’s not at the Wicked Water meeting. If I can avoid him, surely, one day soon I’ll remove the ache of him from my chest, the touch of his lips will erase itself from my skin and the image of him in my bed will dissolve from my mind.

  Nothing and no one else could be so right.

  Emma’s words rattle around, over and over again in a continuous loop. She’s wrong, everyone can see that her and Jake a
re meant to be, whereas, put me in a room with Flynn Phillips and brace yourself for carnage.

  Tap. Tap. Tap.

  My leg will not keep fucking still, and as it relentlessly bounces under the table, my fingers keep the same rhythm on the wooden surface above.

  Elaina glares at me across the table, her eyes warning me to get it together. I can only imagine what I must look like, nervous, sweaty, fidgeting like a junkie in detox itching for my next fix.

  “Another drink anyone?” Karl, one of the Wicked Water reps asks.

  Elaina politely declines while I just shake my head, my whole body vibrating with the need to get the fuck out of here. I glance at the clock directly above Karl’s head. He’s late. Twenty-five minutes late.

  Joel, another company rep, re-enters the room and closes the door behind him before speaking.

  “Unfortunately, it looks like Isaac has been delayed or is unable to attend. So shall we get this meeting started? I know we’re eager to show you how fantastic this campaign is going to be.”

  “What? Where is he?”

  The question falls out of my mouth without thought. I can’t sit here like a fucking inmate on death row, just waiting for the axe to fall and for Isaac Fox to stroll into the room when I least expect it.

  Joel glances awkwardly towards Karl before replying.

  “We’ve been unable to get in touch with Isaac. He confirmed his attendance this morning but I’ve called him several times over the last ten minutes, and it appears his phone is switched off or unavailable. I’ve left a message at his studio, but I don’t want to keep you waiting any longer so we’ll carry on without him.”

  The next hour is spent listening to Karl and Joel wax lyrical about this whole ad campaign. Phrases like ‘hottest promo ever’ and ‘sure to make everyone wet’ get thrown around while they negotiate with Elaina regarding some personal appearance for when the adverts and billboards go live across the U.K. in a couple of weeks’ time. I sit in silence, smiling when I think I should, nodding when asked if I like something, generally ignoring everything going on around me.