This Broken Beautiful Thing

by Summers, Sophie

  “Harley the food smells amazing! If I can wake up to that smell every morning, I will be in seventh heaven!” My dad smiles as he sits on the stool opposite me watching, Anna soon follows rubbing her tummy.

  “Hey! Don’t act like I’ve never cooked breakfast for you.” she says and I giggle. I know for a fact that both of them hate cooking and they usually get the cook from the bar to make food for them. This is probably the first time the kitchen is going to be used, I don’t mind cooking though and I’ve been cooking for momma since I was tall enough to reach the stove.

  “I decided to make you guys breakfast, how many of the guys are here at the Club House?” I ask my dad as a proud smile forms on his face.

  “There’s only about eight that stayed over honey, including us. I’ll make the coffee so long, I know you don’t drink the stuff.” Anna answers for my father as he comes over to where I’m cooking behind the stove and gives me a big hug and kisses my forehead.

  “You’re going to fit in perfectly here baby girl, the boys are going to love you.” he says happily, I smile as he returns to his seat. Jace is the next to stumble down the stairs putting his shirt on with the pillow creases still imprinted on his face. His long messy hair is standing in all different directions.

  “What is that smell? It’s amazing! Never woken up this early in my life. Fucking worth it.” he says as inspect all the food I’m cooking. He grabs a piece of sausage and I smack his hand.

  “Sit down Jace, I’ll dish you a plate.” I scold him, my father and Anna chuckle. Jace follows my instructions and hands me over a plate. I put a little bit of everything on and I’m pretty sure I can see him drooling. He sits by the end table next to my father and I watch my father eyeing Jace’s plate.

  “Our baby girl already has Raven wrapped around her little finger…” he says through laughs.

  “Daddy I’ll dish you and mom up food now too while it’s warm, there’s also pancakes for after.” I tell my father and they both excitedly nod, you would swear they were little kids waiting for cake on their birthday. My father and Anna are only thirty five, he had just turned eighteen when he knocked my mother up and my mother was twenty at the time. He was married to Anna for a year at the time.

  “Grimm, she has you wrapped around her finger too.” Jace says with a mouth full of food, he smirks, my father chuckles and says. “Of course she does.” Then winks at me.

  I hear heavy footsteps as another rather tall bulky man trots down the stairs in the direction of the smell. He looks identical to Jace, just older but still very much as good looking as him. It has to be his father.

  “Harley, this is Ryan, Jace’s old man.” My father says emphasizing the word old and laughs. Ryan pats my father on the back then comes over to me.

  “It’s good to finally meet you love. It’s about time you packed your shit and came. Grimm won’t shut his mouth bout you, talks about you all the time. He’s very proud darling.” He puts his arm over my shoulder then looks at my father.

  “She’s gorgeous Grimm.” Ryan says as he pulls me into a big hug.

  After Ryan releases me, I look at Jace who has stopped eating and is now glaring at his father whose hand is resting on my shoulder. My father looks at Jace and chuckles.

  “Raven boy don’t sweat, we know you’ve already staked your claim. Baby girl here is already taken, your old man knows to stay away from her.” I’m rather confused at what my father is saying, I’m taken by who? Jace?

  Ryan chuckles then whispers in my ear with a gravelly voice, “Seems my boy has taken quite an interest in you love. If he doesn’t treat you right you call me, your daddy and I will teach him how to treat a lady.”

  I laugh, shaking my head as I dish him out a plate to eat. The rest of the guys dawdle down to the kitchen eventually and I dish all of them out food. I notice that most of the guys are young with the oldest guy looking round fifty at best.

  When I finally finish cooking, I lean against the counter and smile as I watch everyone laughing and chatting around the big dining room table eating the food I prepared, the smell of the bacon has started to stir the nausea in my belly so I quickly excuse myself and run up the stairs toward the bathroom. As I’m leaning over the toilet throwing up I hear the door behind me open and close. I spot Jace’s unlaced dirty black combat boots in the corner of my eye, he comes up behind me and holds my hair up with one of his hands and rubs my back with the other.

  It shouldn’t be Jace helping me through this … this is supposed to be Caleb. Caleb should be here helping me through this. I feel the emotion building up inside me and my tears are going to spill soon. He helps me up and I brush my teeth again. After I rinse my mouth and wipe my face on the towel, I hold the towel against my face as I start crying into it, I muffle the sound of my cries with the barrier of the soft towel. I know he can see me crying but I don’t want to see the pity in his eyes. He probably thinks I’m a tragic mess, I couldn’t even keep my boyfriend satisfied and now I’m stuck being a single mother.

  Instead of leaving me alone in the bathroom like I expect him too, he pulls me into him and tugs the towel away from my face. I wrap my arms around his waist and cry into his chest, my head reaches under his chin.

  He brings his lips to my ears as he whispers in my ear, “It’s his loss babe, he lost out on such an amazing girl. You deserve so much more than what he had to offer you. You have all of us here that will support you through this, you just need to tell your father.”

  I pull away from him and look at up at his face, “Thank you for everything Jace. You’ve helped me so much even though you’re not responsible for me and this baby. It should have been Caleb here to help me through all this but I appreciate everything you’ve done for me…I don’t think I could ever repay you. I know I have to tell dad but I need to tell Caleb first and see where to go from there. I think I’ll phone him today and get it over with, I just need to find the courage.” I say as I wipe the tears from my face.

  He nods his head, “You need to eat and take those meds, you haven’t eaten yet and you need to rest too.” He brushes the hair away from my face and pulls me out the bathroom holding my hand.

  I look in the mirror before we exit the bathroom to see if there’s signs that I’ve been crying but my face isn’t too blotchy so I allow him to lead me out.

  “I’m not eating the bacon and egg, the smell makes me want to gag.” I tell him as we make our way down the stairs.

  “Okay babe, go sit down, I’ll get you some pancakes with some cinnamon and syrup. “ Jace orders and I know not to argue with his determined stubborn personality.

  I sit next to Anna by the table, she gives me half a hug. She frowns and mouths “Are you okay?” Not wanting my father to hear.

  I smile at her and tell her I’m fine, she turns and faces me as she says, “I’m so glad you’re staying with me now, you know I love you so much and you’re my daughter right? Even if you don’t see it the way I see you, I just wanted you to know that I love you Harley and that you can talk to me about anything. I’m happy that I have someone decent to hang out with now and I don’t have to hang around those whores that run after the boys in the club.” She says and I laugh at her blunt attitude.

  Anna is a little taller than me, she has long dark straight hair with a red streak down the one side. Her ears are full of piercings and her arms both have sleeved tattoos. She is quite the bad ass but she is so sweet and gentle when it comes to me, she doesn’t take shit from any of the guys or the “whores” from the club. Even though she acts like a teenager she is more of a mother to me than my biological one ever was. She is one person I know I can always rely on. I can talk to her about anything and I trust her to keep it between us.

  I see my dad eavesdropping but I don’t mind him hearing what I’m about to say.

  “Anna you know I see you as my mother, maybe even more so than my own biological one. I love you too, I’m happy I have you and that I’m here. I felt so alone living with Momma beca
use I knew she didn’t want me around… but I feel like I’m wanted here and it makes me happy that I’m at least wanted somewhere.” I let out a deep breath and look down at my hands. “I love you mom even if you aren’t my biological one and I love YOU TOO dad!” I emphasize the last word knowing my dad was listening in. I don’t know why there are tears in my eyes but there are. My father whips his head around and smiles at me knowing I caught him eavesdropping.

  “Harley you will always be wanted here. We love you so very much. You should’ve been here all along because you belong here…with us.” My father says as he comes over and joins in on Anna and my hug.

  Jace hands me a plate of pancakes and leans on the table watching me eat every little bit. He then hands me a glass of water and all my pills I need to take.

  After taking my medicine I head back to Jace’s room for a nap. I’m just about to doze off when I hear the door slowly open and close, I peek through my fallen hair and watch as Jace pulls the curtains closed. From the corner of my eyes I see him open the drawer by the desk and pull out a prescription bottle. He drops two pills into his palm and throws the bottle back in the drawer. He takes out a metal flask from his back pocket then downs the pills. He throws the flask in the drawer too. When he turns to face me I quickly close my eyes and even my breathing again. I feel his presence when he stands in front of my side of the bed; the bed sinks near my stomach as he sits down. I feel his body turn to face mine and I can feel his eyes on me. He gently leans over me and pushes the hair out of my face. He runs his hand gently through my hair; he brings his other hand up and softly rubs my lips with his rough fingers. I so desperately want to stick my tongue out just a little to taste him. He leans down and runs his lips along mine. Not enough for an actual kiss but enough for me to feel his soft lips against mine and also enough to get a whiff of the whiskey in his breath.

  He kisses me gently on my forehead near the cut and bruise, the spot is a little tender and I try my hardest not to wince. After running his fingers one last time over my lips he leaves, shutting the door quietly behind him.

  I lie in bed wonderstruck thinking about what they hell just happened. I’m curious about those pills and I really want to confront him about drinking so early in the morning but I don’t know if I have the right. He’s been kind about offering his bed to me even if I have to share it with him and I don’t want to go invading his space more than I have already by snooping through his drawers for answers I’m not sure I’m ready to know. Thinking it over I realized not one second of when Jace is with me is spent thinking about Caleb, he totally takes my mind to a different place. I smile to myself as I cuddle into the pillow.

  Anna wakes me up in the afternoon with a sandwich and more medicine. She apparently too has been sleeping the day away. I go with her downstairs to the bar, my father had to be at his shop because they were going to repair the damage on Jace’s car. They told me my car was a write-off so it so he decided to sell it for scrap and get me a new one even after I told him he didn’t need to, he insisted.

  We walk into the bar area and it looks like a tornado hit.

  “Fuck sakes, this is why we don’t have any of the guys working at the bar. We leave this place for a week and see what happens? These people can’t run a bar for shit.” I laugh at her then immediately start picking up glasses and bottles lying around.

  “No honey you don’t have to do that –“she says but I interrupt.

  “Mom, I’m staying here so I want to help out? I can’t sleep all day, I need to do something.” I smile at her.

  She stands there looking around obviously realizing it would take her a while to clean this place on her own. “Okay honey let’s get this place spotless.” She starts picking up bottles.

  After an hour of cleaning and chatting about the club and people I haven’t met yet I decide to ask her what’s been on my mind all week.

  “Can I ask you a favor?” I say nervously.

  “Yeah honey anything.” She says eagerly as she stands closer to me.

  “Can you please speak to daddy for me, I need a job and I know if I ask him he will refuse and just give me money but I want to work for the money he gives me. I know he doesn’t like to hire people to work here so he makes you help him but you guys are understaffed.” I continue to clean tables and make my way around the bar as I speak.

  “So… I was thinking maybe you could ask him if I could help out around here? You can manage the bar and all the alcohol and I will deal with any non-alcoholic beverages as well as the foods. Then I can help with cleaning up as I go along? At least then when the nights over, you won’t be stuck around cleaning for hours.” I suggest. She smiles at me.

  “I think that’s a great idea love. I’m sure he will be cool with it, he will at least get to spend time with you. If you need money though, you know you could just ask right?” she says honestly.

  “I know but I want to start working and earning my own money. I need to. It will also help me meet new people.” I continue.

  “Okay Babes, I’ll have a chat with your dad as soon as I see him. Tomorrow when we open up the bar I’ll show you what’s going on, sound good?” I smile and nod.

  “I’m so excited, this is going to be great!” She says as she puts the music on and starts dancing with the broom. I stand there laughing hard very close to peeing myself.

  CHAPTER 6

  We manage to clean the entire bar, luckily it’s not too big, it’s small yet cozy. It’s the typical biker bar you’d expect but has more of a modern edge to it due to Anna’s artistic ability. There’s pictures scattered all over the walls of old bikes and the men that rode them. Above the bar on the wall, my father has a life size model of a hot pink Harley and on the gas tank is my name and date of birth.

  The first time I saw it, which was when he brought me here on my fifth birthday, I told him one day I’m going to get a real one like that. He gave me the biggest proudest smile I’ve ever seen.

  The bar offers food too but nothing fancy, Daddy also doesn’t open at normal restaurant hours either, the bar opens from four in the afternoon till late. It has its own kitchen at the back and one chef that comes in and rotates with another. Dad doesn’t trust people easily so he doesn’t employ people he doesn’t know. He usually gets the young guys from the club to help out at the bar but he prefers to only work with Anna. They work hard with long hours; I don’t know how they manage to do it since they both have the other shops to run during the day.

  I’m busy wiping down bottles behind the bar when dad walks in and sits on one of the bar stools, covered in grease.

  “Please can I get a whiskey on the rocks ma’am?” he winks and I giggle, I pour him his drink and hand it over to him as I continue to wipe all the dusty bottles.

  “So you want to work for your old man huh?” He says taking a sip of his drink. I wet a new cloth and hand it to him to wipe his face and hands.

  “Yeah, I just want to do something productive and it’ll be a good way for me to meet new people around here. I don’t really know anyone besides you guys.” I lean on my elbows over the bar looking at him.

  “Okay Harlz, anything you want my girl.” He pats my hand, “Thank you for what you said to Ann today, she loves you very much and you must know how happy she is after that little heart to heart. Love you lots baby girl, I’m so happy you’re here with us now. You even managed to impress the boys with the breakfast you made this morning, they were telling all the brothers in the shop. I think they’re going to expect that every Sunday and we most probably will have more joining us with the way they were ranting.” My father snickers taking another sip.

  “That’s a good idea actually. We should have a big Sunday meal! I’ve always wanted to have a Sunday meal like all my friends did with their families. We could even make it an afternoon lunch instead of a breakfast. I could make a big roast with all them vegetables and side dishes? What do you say daddy?” I say full of excitement, my friends always had them on Sundays so
I was never able to come over during lunch time. Those were the days when my loneliness really crept in. I was left alone at home because mom was at the club while all my friends were spending time with their families. I used to make roasts for us hoping one day she would be around long enough to sit down and have a meal with me but she never did. Eventually Caleb came to the rescue and I started spending Sunday with his family, it wasn’t the same though although they felt like family to me, they weren’t.

  I look up to see my father smiling at me. “That’s a great idea baby girl. Maybe you can show Ann a thing or two about cooking.” He teases and I laugh. “I know she hates cooking and I don’t mind cooking now that I’m here, I enjoy it.”

  I finish cleaning around the bar area as my dad sits there sipping on his drink watching me with a grin on his face. By the time we walk back up the stairs to the house it’s already dark outside. Dad tells me he has a meeting with some of the brothers in his office so I decide to lounge on the balcony and enjoy the cool fresh air. I bring my legs up to my chest with my head resting on them. I look down at the street and my surroundings then rest my head on the back of the chair staring up into the beautiful sky lit up with stars.

  “What you doin’ out here all on your lonesome?” Jace says as he sits next to me holding a beer in his hands.

  “Thinking…” I say through a sigh.

  “Bout?” he asks hesitantly.

  “Everything…I need to tell him Jace. Its eating me inside and I would never be able to hide this from him, even though I don’t want to hear his voice right now, I have to tell him. I just need to tell him and get it off my chest.” I say.

  “I know what you mean babe. Come.” Jace says as he gestures for me to take his hand. I get up and place my small hand in his much larger one, he leads me up the stairs back to his room. He pulls me to the bed, tells me to sit and I oblige.