This Broken Beautiful Thing

by Summers, Sophie

  “Oh my God…” Jace whispers, running his hands through his hair. Finally realization hit...

  My fight or flight instinct kicks in.

  I pick flight…

  I climb through the window and run but Hunter grabs me as I make my way into my room just before reaching my door. “Nuh uh, you’re not running away again Princess. No more running.” I notice Anna and my father have entered my room, both looking horrified by the scene.

  “Boy, I told you to look after her, not fuck with her feelings.” My dad shouts pointing at Jace.

  “I know Grimm…I fucked up.” I hear Jace from behind me as I kick and push to get out of Hunters gentle but tight grasp.

  “Please… Let.Me.Go! Please.” I cry as I use all the energy I can find to push and shove Hunter but it does nothing to weaken his hold, instead he pulls me so than he’s holding me close against his chest. His big hand rests on the back of my head holding me tight as I sob into his shirt. My body is exhausted as my legs give way; he helps me to the floor not releasing his hold once.

  “Shhh… calm down babe before you hurt yourself. Shhh…” he whispers into my hair trying to calm me.

  “Please…please just let me go Hunt…please.” I cry exhaustedly. He only holds me tighter.

  “Let her go Hunter. The rest of you out. Now!” Anna yells.

  I hear footsteps and I feel Hunter loosen his grip, “I’m sorry he did this Princess.” He whispers before he lets me go. I cry into my hands pulling my knees to my chest.

  “You too Raven…out.” Anna yells again making me flinch.

  “Son, we need to have a chat.” I hear Jace’s dad call.

  “It meant nothing baby…I promise. What we have means everything.” Jace mumbles. I hear his footprints stop near me then continue out my room closing the door behind him.

  Anna comes to my side and pulls me to her chest. I weep for my broken heart, what Jace has done to it and for seeing Caleb today looking better than ever while I’m breaking from the inside out.

  I feel hands underneath my arms and I try to get away from them, “It’s only me baby girl…let’s get you off this cold floor.” My father says softly as he picks me up and places me on the bed. I rest my head on Anna’s lap as she strokes my hair just like Jesse did the night before. My father sits in front of me at the edge of the bed with his hands on his knees shaking his head.

  “I shouldn’t have brought you here. You shouldn’t be around this environment. You are too good for this. I’m so sorry Harley, I only ever wanted what’s best for you and I thought keeping you close was that but I see how this place is changing you.” He says sadly. I sit up and lean my head on his shoulder and he puts his big arm around me.

  “Don’t apologize daddy, none of this is your fault. I thought I could do this and be here but…I just don’t think I can. This is not the type of lifestyle I want my child to grow up in. I don’t know if I can stay here daddy…” I say crying again.

  “I know sweetie… I kinda knew these boys would be too overwhelming for you. We’ve sheltered you from this and I thought that maybe if Raven kept an eye on you, you’d be okay. I didn’t think he would be the one hurting you. I Kinda knew that eventually the club house would be too much for your pure heart to handle and that’s why we bought an apartment in the building next door for you…just in case.” He says smiling down at me.

  “What? You guys bought me an apartment?” I say bewildered looking back and forth between the two of them.

  “Yeah babes we did.” Anna says smiling. I notice she too has been crying. I jump onto her as she laughs and hug her tight.

  “You guys are the best…I love you so much. Thank you.” I say hugging her tight.

  Then I reach over to my dad and hug him the same way. I feel his body shake as he lets out a deep chuckle.

  “We have to make sure you and that grandbaby of ours are safe.” he chuckles.

  I lean back and rest my head on Anna’s lap and she continues to stroke my hair. I close my eyes.

  “At least I won’t be far from you guys.” I yawn.

  “No we will be close by…always” I hear my dad mumbling as I drift off to sleep.

  CHAPTER 16:

  “I swear to God Jace, you do one more thing to hurt her and I will make sure you can’t use that thing between your legs!” I hear Anna shout at Jace in a soft tone but still very much full of anger. I remain still as I eavesdrop on their conversation.

  “I promise I’m done, I don’t ever want to hurt her or see the look she gave me today. I promise Anna. Please let me stay with her, I’ll look after her…. please.” I hear Jace’s sad voice as he whispers to Anna.

  I feel Anna move away, placing a pillow under my head. I hear her footsteps disappear then the door close. Jace climbs onto the bed and lies in front of me. I feel his eyes looking over me and I flinch when his fingers touch my lips.

  “I won’t hurt you baby. Not anymore.” He whispers.

  I open my eyes and look into his sad ones but don’t say anything.

  “I can’t believe I did this to you …I’m such a fuck up.” Jace says softly as he cups my cheek running his thumb gently over my jaw, staring at my bruised nose.

  I find my voice, “You need to stop talking about yourself that way. You are not a fuck up but the choices you make have a tendency to mess things up.”

  I look him over noticing his wet hair and the fresh smell coming off him. Thankfully he showered before he came to me. I don’t think I could lie next to him while he smells like the girl he was banging earlier today.

  “It’s true though…I could never have something as untainted as you. I’m surprised I didn’t fuck it up sooner. You are too good for me baby.” He says clearing his throat. I don’t know if it is his intention to make me feel sorry for him but it’s working.

  “People need to stop saying that. I’m not the perfect little girl everyone thinks I am. If I was, I wouldn’t be sitting in this situation now would I? I don’t know what to do with you Jace, I don’t know what you want and what you expect from me? I’m scared I say the wrong thing and you get upset with me. I get so nervous when you get angry.” I say grimacing at the memory.

  “I just want you Harley, I want you safe…with me. Please baby…don’t be scared of me…I’m done hurting you…I promise.” he says sadly as he lifts my shirt and places his hand on my lower belly and rubs it softly. Once again I’m stuck in a nirvana like state and I forget everything he’s put me through.

  “I had a sister once, well I never met her but I had one. Mom was an addict and we thought she would stop with the drugs when she fell pregnant. She was eight months pregnant when she overdosed. She killed the baby…. I lost my little sister.” He says out of the blue, the sadness coming from his voice causes tears in my eyes. No wonder he is so protective over me and my baby.

  “I’m sorry Jace. I’m so…so sorry. That is horrible.” I let out a shaky breath as the tears fall and soak into my pillow, I cover his warm rough hand that’s resting on my belly with my much smaller cold one.

  “Yeah…me too.” He whispers.

  I pick up his hand and kiss it then place it back on my tummy.

  “Did you really feel that way when you saw him? Did you feel safe with him? Even after everything he did?” Jace says flatly.

  “The truth?” I ask him and he hesitantly nods.

  “Yeah I did, I’m scared of you Jace. You can do really hurtful things. One minute you say you want me and you care about me then the next you’re…you’re….the next I hear is some girl screaming your name or I see some girl’s head in your lap but then I’m good enough to be your sleeping buddy because you sleep easy when you’re next to me? How do you think that makes me feel? It hurts so much Jace. It feels like I’m not good enough for you. This hurts more than what Caleb did to me… with you it’s as if that night I caught him with Ashley is on repeat, except it’s a different girl and you’re trying to rub it in my face continuously to hurt me.” He trie
s to talk but I place my hand on his mouth to stop him.

  “I know this is ridiculous because it’s not as if I’m your girl. I don’t know why it hurts so much seeing what I did or hearing it but it does. It’s okay though…now you can do whatever you like to whatever girl you want. I just won’t be here when you do it…” I trail off.

  “I…I’m so sorry Harley. Please don’t leave, just stay here please. I promise I’ll be good. You are good enough baby…you are too good for me and I get so frustrated. The only way to ease the tension is to fuck someone or fuck them up. You know which I chose…”He whispers ashamed.

  “I’m sorry you saw what happened with Rachelle, I didn’t mean for it to happen but she was around and…Yeah…I was just upset about you staying with Jesse and I had to get back at you somehow. Childish, I know. I’m sorry about earlier too…it doesn’t mean anything with any of them you must know that…it’s just sex baby. I didn’t know it would hurt you, I swear it feels like you hate me sometimes and I felt like I was pushing my feelings onto you, I’ve never felt what I feel for you with any other woman and that was nerve-racking. I thought pushing you away would do the trick but I can’t get you out my head. I didn’t know you felt what I felt. Baby you are my girl…you always were. I was too stupid to see that. I only want you Harley, well both of you…please don’t leave. No more of these sluts…I promise baby. Just us.” He leans on his elbows looking down at me. His damp hair tickling my collar bone he’s so close. Looking from his pink lips, I look down at his neck at the tribal tattoos that runs from just behind his right ear then follow it as it travels over his once peck ,not touching his pierced nipple, and then over his arm. I look back to his lips as I notice a small little mark there on the right, just below his bottom lip line. I lift my index finger and gently touch the mark.

  I’ve seen the same mark before, Ashley and I went to a tattoo parlor to get our tongues pierced, instead she wanted her piercing to be seen so she got her lip pierced but once her parents saw it they forced her to remove it, leaving her with a small little mark where the hole once was. The night of the crash I took my tongue ring out, I forgot it and haven’t put one back in since.

  “My lips pierced babe, haven’t worn the ring for a while, being punched in the face with that metal in hurts bad.” Jace says and I watch his lips move but I don’t look up at him instead keep my gaze on his perfect lips.

  “I’m moving out.” I whisper in my daze.

  “What?” This makes me look up into his eyes.

  I shake my head trying to clear my head. “I’m not going far, just next door. Dad got me an apartment. I can’t stay here Jace, not only because of you but also because of this place. It’s not healthy for a baby.”

  “I know Harlz…I know. This environment isn’t good for the both of you.” He says as his hand starts to rub my stomach again. The way he says Harlz reminds me of Caleb and the way he used to say it.

  “It’s going to be scary staying by myself though. I know when I stayed with mom I was alone most of the time but this is different…I know you guys will be next door but still…I’m worried.” I mumble as my eyes drift down to his lips again.

  “You won’t be alone baby. You’ll never be alone again.” I watch his lips move.

  “You’ll be with me? You’ll stay with me?” I whisper afraid of his rejection.

  I watch his short intake of breath then I watch as his lips form into a perfect smile making me grin in response. “You still want me with you? You still want me to sleep next to you?”

  “Yeah I still want you…” I know I’m making a terrible mistake but I can’t help the words from spilling out my mouth. I don’t correct myself because what I said is true. I want Jace. I want him all to myself, he said he would stop with the girls and I finally got an apology from him. I know I’ve given him enough chances and I don’t know if I’m only letting him stay with me because I’m afraid of being alone but all I know is I want him with me. He may scare me and when he’s upset say horrible things but I want him…despite all of that…I still want him.

  I watch the dimples in his left cheek, I place my finger over it and I’m close enough to feel his breath on my skin and his eyes on mine watching my every move.

  I trace my fingers on his jaw line, his hand moves from my stomach to my hip then gentle makes its way to my lower back as he pulls my body into his closing the distance between us.

  The room is quiet, not sure if it’s because I’m so focused on Jace or if it’s because there isn’t music playing from downstairs. I lean my face into his and run my nose up and down his. I lean my lips near his as I feel and taste our breath intertwine. I run my lips over his feeling the softness of his warm ones. His lips part and he lets out a moan before his hands wrap around my waist but he doesn’t deepen the barely there kiss, he’s letting me take control.

  The butterflies in my stomach are wild but I force my nerves to remain calm and gently slip my tongue out as I watch his eyes close and his hands squeeze me into him. I run my tongue over his bottom lip and then the top as I taste his minty breath on my tongue. I feel his lips spread wider, I latch my lips round his bottom lip biting it and letting it go, I kiss it gently and he lets out a deep moan causing goose-bumps down my entire body.

  He’s obviously given me all the control he could muster because his lips attack mine with such hunger and want. He rolls me over and climbs over me with his large body pushing me deeper into the mattress. He lifts both my legs so they wrap around his waist, then leans down and rests on his one elbow as his other hand moves from my upper thigh up the length of my body and rests on my jaw. He is so gentle with me and I recognize this kindness as the Jace I met the night of the accident. His thumb brushes against my jaw line gently and I open my lips a little and suck on his lower lip. He gently slides his tongue into my mouth and soon our tongues are colliding. I feel his chest rumbles as he moans out deep pushing his lower body into mine.

  I’ve only ever kissed one guy, I’ve only ever touched one person the way I’m touching Jace but that person wasn’t a man. Jace may only be twenty five but he acts as if he carries the world on his shoulders. He’s mature and even though he portrays that hard scary edge, I know this sweet loving man was hiding inside somewhere and right now is evidence of that. He doesn’t need to speak, I can feel the emotion rolling off as he touches and caresses me.

  Our lips part and he starts down my neck as he speaks for the first time since I kissed him.

  “I’ve been waiting for you to do that from that first night I held you in my arms.” He says looking down at me smiling.

  “Why? You’ve kissed me before and I’ve kissed you?” I ask as I try to catch my breath.

  “I’m usually the one to initiate it so I wanted you to kiss me. I can be controlling and I suppose it can be overwhelming for someone like you. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to be with me because I was forcing my lips on you. I wanted you to choose it…to choose me…and you did.” He smiles again pecking my lips.

  “I did…” I say smiling back at him.

  “I’m sorry for hurting you baby. I never want to see that hate in your eyes like I did today.” He says looking off. “Don’t think I can live without you.” He whispers but I catch it.

  “What does this mean Jace?” I whisper.

  “It means you’re my girl now baby, it means no other guy gets to put their hands on you. Not even Hunter, saw how he held you on that floor today and didn’t like it. It means you sleep with me and only me. It means you are the girl I come home to after a long day’s work, you are mine and only mine.” He says planting kisses down my neck. I remember the night I told him about having a girlfriend and having someone to come home to that was waiting for you and only you. In his own way he’s telling me I’m his girlfriend. I don’t care for labels but as long as he knows we belong to each other I don’t care what he wants to call us.

  He bends down as he kneels between my legs, he lifts my shirt just enough to see
my bump. Then he plants soft kisses on my tummy. This melts my heart. Why can’t he be this compassionate person all the time?

  “Are you mine too Jace?” my voice is shaky and even though I’m scared to ask, afraid what the answer might be, I need to hear him say the words, whatever they might be.

  He stops kissing my stomach and looks up at me. Then he smiles. “If you want me, I’ll be yours Harley.”

  “I want you Jace.” I whisper loud enough for him to hear then smile.

  “Then I’m all yours.” He smiles at me.

  “This doesn’t mean I’m over all the shit you put me through. We have a lot to deal with and sort out. I don’t trust you Jace but I’d like to sometime in the future.” I look down at him as his lips linger on my belly.

  “I know Harlz…we will work through everything. I’ll do anything to make this right.” He whispers looking down at my stomach beneath him. He continues to kiss my belly and I let him, enjoying the moment.