“Come with me tomorrow…. I mean you don’t have to…I just wanted to ask if you’d like to. “I ramble then shake my head at the stupid idea. “Never mind… don’t worry about it…stupid idea, you’re probably busy in any case.” I ramble on shaking my head. What guy would want to go to a doctor’s appointment that has to do with a baby that isn’t even theirs?
He chuckles against my stomach as he lets his lips linger there.
“Where do you want me tomorrow baby?” he asks.
“I have an appointment with the doc-” he interrupts me.
“Okay.” He says and continues to kiss me.
“Okay?” I ask.
“Yeah, if you want me to come then I will.”
“Thanks Jace, hopefully I get to find out whether it’s a boy or girl.” I say smiling and he abruptly stops and looks up at me.
“Appointment? To see the baby?” he says all serious now. He obviously didn’t realize it was for the baby specifically.
“Yeah… it’s okay if you want to back out. I didn’t think you would want to go with me anyway. Anna’s going to be there so I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it, forget I asked.” I say smiling down at him and brushing my hands through his long hair, reassuring him its fine if he doesn’t go.
“No, I’ll come with. I want to be there.” He looks down at my stomach and smiles then looks up at me. “You really want me to go with you when you find out the sex of the baby?” He smiles so happily.
“Yeah, I want you there. Aside from all the shit you’ve put me through these past days, you’ve been here for me from the moment we met. I want you there too, Anna too because she never got to experience all of this when they were trying to get pregnant. I think it will make her happy.” I continue to run my hand through his hair as he rests his head on my stomach.
“So sweet. She’d love that. Thank you for this, you don’t know how much this means to me.” he smiles then looks down at my stomach and whispers, “Your mommy is one amazing person.”
CHAPTER 17:
“Ready Babes?” Anna knocks on the bathroom door. I’ve had bad morning sickness; I’ve been awake since five but finally after a shower I’m feeling better. Jace stayed with me the entire time until I had to force him to go get ready so we weren’t late for the appointment.
I open the door to a smiling Anna. They both are very excited for the appointment today.
Jace comes running in as I’m braiding my hair and picks me up and swings me around. I start giggling. He plants my feet back on the ground then squishes my cheeks between his hands and gives me a big kiss. “I’m too excited to see this little one.” I laugh at him and continue to braid my hair.
“Sooo…are…you two?” I forgot Anna was in the room I open my mouth to speak but Jace beats me too it.
“She’s my girl and I’m hers. Right babe?” he smiles at me.
“That’s right.” I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him before he walks out my room. I look back to where Anna is sitting on my windowsill and notice the big smile on her face.
“It’s the big scary ones that are the kindest when no one’s watching. Those boys can be a pain in the ass but when they’re sweet like that, they’re hard to resist. Jace doesn’t know how to treat woman. His mother wasn’t a great role model and even though he has a temper from hell, I’ve never seen him this happy before. That boy may be dangerous but he will be good to you and look after you well. After the scare you gave him yesterday and the talk your father and his gave him, I pray for his sake he treats you right. We all just want you happy and seeing you…with him…just now, like that…you looked so happy my girl.” Anna says with a grin on her face.
“It’s crazy though right? I haven’t known him all that long but it feels like we connect, like all the shit he puts me through is okay as long as I get that little bit of Jace that carried me from my wrecked car. I think I’m obsessed? That has to be it, he’s too hot for his own good. I don’t know why I can’t resist him, I tried. I really did. But when it’s the two of us and the real Jace comes out…I fall…hard. He is really so sweet and gentle and I want him close all the time. I feel safe with Jace…its Raven I’m afraid of.” I mutter adjusting my summer dress.
“Babes Jace may be the gentle one but it’s Raven you should feel safe with. Raven will protect you no matter what. You couldn’t picture one without the other though, could you? The naughty wicked side of Jace attracted you to him, am I right? And the sweet gentle side pulls you in. So either way, you want both sides of him, you may not think it but you want it.” She winks at me and I smile. I’m lost for words because she’s right.
I feel Jace’s eyes on me the entire time I’ve been staring at the question on the doctor’s form these past five minutes. It’s an optional question but my hand is still frozen unable to move on to the next question.
Name of Childs biological Father. Should I fill it in? I should just leave it blank. Caleb doesn’t deserve to have his name on that dotted line.
Jace pulls the forms from me and I watch as he writes Jace Alexander on the dotted line.
“Jace…” I whisper and pull his hands away.
“Baby I’m doing this.” He says in that don’t-argue-with-me tone. He’s glaring at me and I sink into my chair afraid he may cause a scene in front of the people sitting in the waiting room. My hand shakes as I take the form from him and complete the questions, before I have a chance to scratch out his name he snatches the clipboard from me and walks up to the receptionist to hand the forms in.
I look at Anna to see her smiling brightly at us, looking back at Jace I whisper, “Isn’t it illegal to lie on these forms or something?”
He lets out a deep chuckle and my eyes meet his sparkling ones, “Better give me a big kiss before the cops take me away babe.” He pulls me into his chest and gives me a kiss. I try pull away from him, I’m not one for PDA and luckily enough my name being called gets Jace to release me from the kiss.
Jace and I stand up to follow the lady, I look behind me expecting to see Anna but she’s nowhere. “Wait a second…” I mutter quickly walking back to the waiting room, I notice Anna sitting where I left her looking at her hands.
“Mom? Aren’t you coming?” I smile at her. She looks shocked by my question.
“What? You want me in there? With you guys?” She says as her eyes fill with tears.
“Of course!” I say and she jumps up and hugs me then rushes to where Jace and the nurse were waiting for me.
I get dressed into a gown and I’m thankful Jace doesn’t stand there and stare at me. The doctor comes in and she introduces herself. Anna knows her from when she was trying to get pregnant many years ago.
“So Harley, we’re going to find out the sex today? Is mom and dad excited?” Doctor Smith asks Jace and I presuming he is the father of my child.
I’m about to correct her but Jace speaks to soon.
“We’re very excited.” Jace smiles and kisses my forehead. The doctor covers my legs with a piece of material then lifts my gown to reveal my growing belly.
“Let me guess dad wants a little boy?” The doctor gives Jace a friendly smile and he chuckles.
“I just want a healthy baby. I don’t mind either way…as long as the baby is healthy.” He says. I swallow down the lump in my throat as I remember the story he told me the night before about his little sister and mother.
“What do you say granny? What do you want?” The doctor asks Anna.
“I agree with Jace, we just want a healthy baby, right babes?” Anna smiles at me from the corner of the room.
“Yeah, I don’t mind as long as he or she is healthy. That’s all that matters to me right now.” I say looking at Jace as he watches the doctor’s every move. She pushes soft gel onto my stomach and soon the room is being filled with the sound of my babies beating heart. I smile and look at Jace and Anna. I’ve heard it before and I probably had the same love filled expression on my face as these two do.
“T
hat’s one strong heartbeat right there.” The doctor says as she moves the screen so we can look into it.
“That…that’s her baby?” Jace stutters from next to me looking into the screen.
“Hun, that’s your baby.” The doctor corrects him, he smiles down at me with teary eyes. I look in the corner to see Anna with tears flowing down her cheeks. I squeeze Jace’s hand and he pecks my lips so tender and soft.
“Let’s see here…ah….I was right.” She says pointing to the outline of my baby on the screen. “Looks to me like you’re having a little girl sweetheart.” She says. I look at Jace as he wipes his tears away with the back of his ring clad hands, I don’t think his smile could get any bigger but it does. I see Anna in the corner and smile at her, she comes up and gives me a hug.
“Congratulations mommy and daddy. This is your daughter.” The Doctor says giving Jace and I the ultra sound photos of the baby.
“Daughter…” I hear Jace whisper beside me as he stares at the picture in his hands.
“Daughter…” I repeat grinning at him. He pulls me in for a hug and plants small kisses all over my face. I feel his tears fall onto my cheeks. I know this is wrong and I know he’s not my child’s father but I need him here, I don’t know why but I do. Maybe I’m latching onto him because of the lack of Caleb in my life? Maybe it because I’m not used to being alone without someone at my side? I know it sounds weak and pathetic but I’ve always had someone with me, even before Caleb and I started dating, he was my best friend and we were always together, how am I supposed to fill that void? Maybe Jace can help me with that void? This is most probably why I’ve been keeping him close even though at the back of my mind I know he has the ability to break my heart, the same one he’s unknowingly been repairing.
As we arrive back at the apartment, I spot my dad sitting in the lounge with a couple of the guys watching TV. I come up behind him and place the picture on his lap. “That’s your granddaughter daddy.” I smile down at him.
He picks up the picture and I watch as a grin spreads across his face. “It’s a girl?”
“Yeah…” I sit on the arm of his chair and watch as he stares at the little black and white picture.
“Congrats sweetheart…” he says pulling me in for a hug and kissing my cheek.
The guys in the room give their congratulations and each has a turn hugging me.
“That’s going to be one cute little kid.” I hear Hunter come up as he places his arm over my shoulder pulling me into his side and takes a look at the picture.
“Yeah she is…” I say thinking about Caleb’s features more than my own.
“Congratulations Princess.” He kisses my cheek.
“Hands off Hunt.” I hear Jace grunt as he steps closer to us.
Hunter chuckles then reluctantly removes his hand.
I walk back to my room and place the picture next to my bed on my bedside table. Thinking about the events of today and how great it was. Even though we seemed like a perfect little family I know I need to speak to Jace about the whole “Father” situation , I need him to understand that this isn’t a joke and if he wants to be part of our life I need to know if he’s serious because I don’t want this to affect my child negatively.
Jace comes in and closes the door. He flops himself on my bed and rests his head on my lap taking the picture off the bedside table.
“I need to talk to you Jace.” I tell him and watch as he tenses underneath my touch as I run my hands through his silky hair.
“Is this about me signing those forms?” he says looking up at me as I stroke his hair out of his face.
“Yeah.” I say, he sits up and moves to the corner of the bed next to me.
“I’m not trying to take the place of her father. I know I’m not the father Harley. You just seemed so torn staring at that fucking question and I needed to ease at least some of that pain.” He lets out a deep breath. “ I guess I got so caught up in that beautiful moment that part of me wished that it was my baby inside you… but I know this isn’t a game and I’m serious about all of this. I want to be here for you and her. I don’t care if the kid calls me uncle instead of dad, I’ll make sure she knows that she can come to me if she needs anything Harley but please…let me be here for you two. That’s all I want babe. Even when it comes down to the point where you want her to meet her real father, I want to be there for you and her. Please.” He says with such compassion that I feel the truth in his words.
“Why do you want this Jace? You’re still young…and gorgeous, why would you want to be stuck with someone that’s in this situation? If you really want to help me with this then I need to make sure you’re serious because I don’t want someone that’s going to be constantly in and out of her life. She needs a stable upbringing Jace and I just want to do what’s best for her.” I lean my head on his shoulder as he interlaces our fingers together holding my hand tight in his.
“We all want what’s best for her and I won’t be stuck with you baby. I want to be with you and I want to be part of your life. I promise you baby…I’m not going anywhere.” He kisses me softly letting his lips linger.
CHAPTER 18
The past few months with Jace have been amazing. He’s been perfect and although I don’t get to see him as much as I would like due to school and work, he’s made sure to sleep next to me almost every single night since the day I moved into my new three bedroom apartment. The apartment is great and apart from the furnishings in my old room at dads place, I refused to let them buy me anything for my new little home. They’ve already spent too much money on me as it is, I couldn’t let them furnish it for me as well even if my father insisted. I was making good money at the bar and when I looked too pregnant to be seen working at a bar Anna asked me to help her at her tattoo studio’s front desk with her books and answering of calls, so eventually after many hours at thrift shops I finally managed to furnish my apartment. Of course none of it was designer and most of the furnishings were second hand but it was home to me.
My father still gets Jace to do whatever it is he does for the Club therefore some nights he doesn’t make it to my apartment until morning and even then Jace makes me lie in bed next to him while he sleeps.
I’m already thirty five weeks into my pregnancy and apart from the last few days, Jace couldn’t seem to keep his hands off my big belly. The heated make out sessions are a regular occurrence but we haven’t gone any further, I’m at the point in my pregnancy where I’ve grown to accept how my body is changing but I don’t feel pretty and comfortable in the way it’s changing. I’ve become self-conscious even though the boys keep complimenting me about how good I look pregnant, I just don’t feel all that great.
I’m not sure how Jace has been able to go without sex these past months, I have moments when he’s not around and my mind goes into overdrive thinking that maybe he’s getting it from someone else because he doesn’t want to touch me while I look this way but then when he’s cuddling up to me or telling my belly stories at night I forget about all my insecurities and think of how great he truly has been throughout my pregnancy.
Anna organized a surprise baby shower a few weeks ago and because I don’t have many female friends we had a barbeque with all the boys and their old ladies. It was amazing and I got thoroughly spoilt. Jace surprised me that same evening when I got back to my apartment. He painted the baby room and decorated it beautifully with the help from Hunter and Jesse. He even purchased a beautiful crib with the matching dark wood furnishings every baby room needs. I cried so hard when I saw what they did to the room; it was lilac and white. It was so perfect and I wasn’t expecting the boys to do something so sweet for me.
College has been going great and I haven’t run into anyone that attended the same High School I did. Caleb called continuously and left messages, so did Brent those first few weeks after seeing Caleb near the library. I deleted each and every one without reading them. After a few weeks all calls and messages gradually stopped. We have
done a weekly Sunday lunch where the boys from the club bring their families, I’ve gotten to know the guys really well and they all seem to love the whole idea of the Sunday lunch.
Today I’m supposed to go to another checkup since I’ve been cramping a little and it’s making me uneasy but I can’t get hold of Jace and haven’t seen him since yesterday because he had “work” to do.
Walking into dad’s club house, I see there was a party the previous night. I heard the music last night but presumed it was from the club downstairs. There are beer bottles and half naked people all over the place. My father and Anna went away for the week to stay at their cottage by the lake, they wanted me to come with but I thought they needed time alone. Clearly these guys were celebrating not having the President around.
Letting out a deep breath I make my way to Jace’s room. Although he stays with me most nights, we decided he should keep his room. I reluctantly open his door, afraid to see what’s in there but apart from the messy bed the room is empty.
I’m running late to my appointment so I quickly make my way to my car, which my father bought me when the insurance from my previous car paid out. It’s the same Fiesta I had before but this one is blue.
Trying to find my keys in my handbag, I hear the rumble of a motorbike coming to a stop behind me. I look to see Hunter climbing off his Harley.
“Hey Princess where you off to in such a rush?” he says leaning against my car.
“I have an appointment, Jace was supposed to take me but I can’t get hold of him, now I’m running late and I can’t find my keys!” I yell getting frustrated.
“Whoa, calm down babe. Come… we can take my car.” He says putting his arm over my shoulders dragging me away towards his jeep.
Getting into his car, I let out a frustrated sigh as I battle to put the seat belt on over my protruding belly. I rest my head back on the head rest and let out three deep breaths as I count to ten just like I used to do when I got those panic attacks.
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