“Harley? Babe? Answer please. It’s cold out here.” I hear Brent’s voice and I immediately relax. Caleb however tenses even more so when Willow runs for the door yelling for “Bent”.
“What’s he doing here so early?” Caleb asks sounding angry.
Caleb moves around Willow and opens the door for Brent. Brent’s eyes widen as he sees Caleb in my doorway.
“Hey dude, locking me in the closet? Not cool!” Brent says walking past Caleb and immediately picks up a squealing Willow.
“You locked him in the closet?” I ask gently smacking Caleb’s arm. Caleb doesn’t answer and I notice his eyes are fixed on Brent and Willow. I feel bad that he isn’t as close to his daughter like Brent is. I put my hand in his and he immediately looks down at me, “Let’s go finish breakfast.” I smile and tug him along.
I dish out food for Brent. “Thanks babe.” Brent says and I notice Caleb’s jaw tense as he speaks through his teeth. “Dude don’t call her that.” Caleb says before taking a sip of his orange juice.
“Yes I told you Bent, Mommy isn’t a piggy!” Willow says wiggling her index finger at Brent as if reprimanding a child. Caleb is the first to burst out laughing.
He takes Willow from Brent and places her onto his lap and lets out a big smile.
“You are a very clever girl Willow. Don’t let Bent ever call your mommy that. It’s rude.” Caleb looks up at me and winks. I look at Brent and funny enough he too has a huge grin on his face as he watches Caleb holding his daughter on his lap while they share pancakes.
“So how long do you want me to look after her bab… uh… Harley.” Brent says looking from Caleb to me.
“Well I want to leave as soon as possible, so if you can just watch her until I get all her stuff packed. I also need to fetch some things from the pharmacy and I think I’ll do it faster if someone watches her.” I say placing the dirty dishes into the dishwasher.
“Where’re you two going?” Caleb asks.
“I’m going to stay with my mom for the weekend, I just need to get away for a little bit.” I say wetting a cloth and walking over to Willow to wipe all the syrup from her face.
“I was thinking about that Harley, maybe I should go with you. It’s a long drive and you know how easily she gets bored.” Brent says nodding in Willows direction.
“No… not happening man.” Caleb says raising an eyebrow at Brent.
“Yeah it’s okay Brent, I’ll manage fine. I’ve got a couple toys and she was up late last night so she’ll probably sleep the whole drive anyway.” I say wiping down the table.
“No…not happening either. I’m taking you two.” Caleb says looking down at Willow as she looks up and smiles.
“Can he? Please momma?” Willow says and both Brent and Caleb chuckle.
“Let’s go play on the swings at the park so mom can get ready.” Brent says and Caleb reluctantly lets Willow jump into Brent’s open arms.
After they leave and I’ve picked up all Willows toys that were lying around I turn to Caleb who’s been watching me the entire time. “You don’t have to come with me, if you think Jace is going to come look for me your wrong. I’m not that important to him besides… he doesn’t even know where my mom stays.”
“I’m going with because I want to spend more time with you two and I have to go see my mother anyways. Think of it as killing two birds with one stone.” He winks.
“Well you can go home and get your stuff if you like while I shower and pack our bags.” I say walking back to my room but I notice him following.
“Sorry baby but I’m not going to leave you here alone knowing that Jace could come here any minute. I’ll stay here until you’re done, then we go fetch my shit and whatever stuff you need from the pharmacy and finally we fetch my baby.” He smiles and lies down on my bed as if he owns the place.
I don’t bother arguing with him, instead I fetch some clothes and make my way to the shower. After I dress, I walk back into an empty room. I quickly pack a bag for myself and make my way down the passage. I walk past Willows room and see him sitting on her bed looking around her room.
I sit next to him on her tiny bed.
“You named her Willow? Why?” he says looking down at me.
“I guess I still wanted you to have a say in it and I remember the teddy you bought me and how you said you liked the name Willow and we kind of both agreed. When I held her little body the first time, I knew that was the perfect name for her. It was kinda like we picked it together…even though you weren’t there.” I mumble sadly.
“I love it baby…you chose the perfect name for our daughter.” He says wrapping his one arm around me. Although I miss him and his embraces I need to keep my distance. I trust Caleb fully with our daughter and I know he won’t hurt her but I don’t trust him with my heart. I’m not sure I can let him in just yet even though it feels like he never left me and we weren’t apart for all these years.
I move away from him and start packing a little bag for Willow.
After everything’s packed and I’ve got a car seat for Willow, I lock up the apartment and make my way with Caleb to the parking. I don’t look in the direction of the bar, I’ll call my dad on the way and I just pray no one sees me leaving with Caleb.
Caleb walks toward a black Range Rover, “Where’s your other car?” I ask him, remembering the old car he had that he saved up for because he didn’t want to use his parent’s money. I guess that changed too.
“This is my new baby. The other one took its last breath a couple years ago so I decided to treat myself.” He says smiling at me as he tries to install the car seat.
“Fuck! Do these things come with user manuals?” he says seriously looking where to put what latch. I laugh at him and push him aside.
“Here, look…” I explain to him what goes where and he listens intently to me.
We make our way to the pharmacy and Caleb steps out the car with me.
“Where are you going?” I ask him.
“I’m coming with? What do you need here anyways?” he asks coolly.
“Err…no... Stay in the car, I’ll be quick.” I say opening his door and motioning for him to climb back in.
“I’m coming in… let’s go.” He latches my hand in his and pulls me toward the pharmacy.
I walk up to the counter and ask the lady for my pills. She hands me them and before I can turn Caleb snatches it from my hand. He looks at them and looks back at me raising an eyebrow. I know he’s angry because he always works his jaw when he is.
I snatch it back and walk to the counter to pay.
CHAPTER 23
He drives into a gated community, the houses are mansions with sports cars in driveways and perfectly cut lawns.
“Where we going?” I ask looking around at the beautiful houses.
“Home.” He states.
I presume he’s talking about his home. We stop in a driveway of a beautiful two story beach house, the beach lies in front of the house. I follow him into the house and it’s absolutely stunning, nothing like the apartment we planned on staying in together all those years ago. The house doesn’t seem very homely though, it’s rather manly and it doesn’t have that warm feel to it.
I watch as he walks up the stairs and I’m unsure of what to do so I just follow him. He leads me to a large bedroom, the bed is massive and the entire right side of his room is one massive window looking out onto the ocean. I walk up to the glass and look out at the beautiful view. I place my hand on the glass.
“Wow….this is beautiful….” I whisper now feeling embarrassed for having Caleb in my home. His house is so elegant, I don’t feel like I belong here.
“I knew you’d like that…” I hear him mumble. I turn around to see Caleb packing a bag; he closes it then stands next to me looking out.
“Why’re you on the pill?” he spits out. I knew he’d react this way and that’s why I didn’t want him to go with me to the pharmacy.
“Why are you asking me that? You
know what the pill is for, do you really want me to explain?” I say walking away from him. I sit on the side of his bed.
“Is it because of Jace? Are you fucking him?” he says with so much disgust laced in his words.
I expect this from someone like Jace, Caleb has never spoken to me this way- ever.
“What? No! We aren’t together anymore, I told you that Caleb.” I say frowning at him.
He walks up to me, “Did you fuck him? Are you still fucking him? Is that why you’re taking the pill?”
“Caleb stop this!” I yell as I get up and move around him but he grabs me and pulls me to his bed underneath him. As his body crushes to mine, the air is smacked out my lungs.
“Just answer me!” he yells, I try and push against his chest. I’ve never seen Caleb like this before and it frightens me.
“I didn’t Caleb…I didn’t f…fuck him…stop…please…just get off me…” I say bursting out in tears.
He immediately jumps off me and I’ll curl up into a ball on my side on his bed and cover my face as I cry. Caleb pulls me onto his lap so that I’m now straddling him.
“I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, you know how jealous I get and when I saw the pills I just presumed.” He whispers against my neck.
“Stop presuming Caleb! I haven’t asked you who you’ve fucked and I’m guessing it’s a whole lot more than me now that you were single and only had been with one…two people. I didn’t fucking ask you!” I shout at him through tears.
“No baby…no…I’ve only been with two people baby. One of them I wish I could take back and the other was the love of my life and the best sex I’ve ever had was with her.” I look at him and wipe my tears away confused.
“Bullshit.” I say through snivels.
“It’s the truth baby, I couldn’t ever look at another girl the way I looked at you. I kept busy with…other stuff. I’m not going to lie to you babe, I have done other things with girls but I never fucked them….never.” he moves my hair out of my face.
I’m not sure whether to believe him or not. Deep down if I was to be honest with myself I’d admit that the thought of him not sleeping with other people made me a little happy inside, that is if he is even telling the truth, but I would never admit it out loud.
“Whatever Caleb, we don’t have time for this, can we just go…please.” I say pushing his chest gently avoiding his eyes.
“I’m not going anywhere until you’re done being angry with me baby.” He doesn’t let go but brings his head to my chest.
“I’m not angry Caleb okay….” I let out a deep breath, I know struggling is not going to get him to release me. I rest my chin on his head, “Can we please go and get Willow?” I say softly.
He looks up at me and his eyes immediately go to my lips, then he looks down my neck line and then he stares at my boobs.
I push him, “Caleb! Stop that.” I let out a chuckle.
“Sorry babes I just…missed you…every inch of you.” His eyes now find mine again and they’re filled with lust. I push him again and he releases me. I can’t get too close to him…I won’t let him in just to break me again…
I walk up to his bag that sits on the bed and zip it up completely. “You ready? Let’s go.” I say, he jumps up and takes the bag from me.
Stopping by the park, I’m about to get out the car but Caleb’s hand stop me. He’s staring into the park and I follow his gaze to see Brent pushing Willow on a swing, Willow is laughing and looks so happy. Looking back at Caleb, he looks nervous and sad.
“She ever asks about her father? Do you think she thinks Brent is her dad?” he says sadly not looking at me. I feel so sorry for him because he thinks Brent has replaced him…I guess in a way he did but Brent is more of a friend to Willow. On the other hand when Willow is with Hunter or Jace it’s different. She seems to have a bond with them that’s completely different to that of the connection she has with Brent. Brent is always about playing and fun but when Hunter or Jace come into the picture she always asks them to tuck her in or feed her. Things a parent would do. I’m not sure how Caleb will react once he sees that.
“No…she’s never asked about her father. I’ve seen her a couple times looking at other kids when they’re with their dads but she’s never openly asked me. I guess it’s because she has so many male figures in her life that the fact that she didn’t have a father ever crossed her mind.” I say looking out the window at my little girl.
“She did have a father though…she does have a father.” He says flatly.
“Yeah she does now…” I mumble.
We make our way over to Brent, and Willow runs into my open arms. “Hey sweetie, you have fun?”
“Yeah Momma we did.” She turns to Caleb with open arms and his grin only widens as he takes his daughter from me. I smile at the scene.
We say our goodbyes to Brent and make our way to the car. I show Caleb how to put her in her car seat and we take off.
As suspected Willow slept most of the way and every now and then I would catch Caleb stealing glances at his daughter in the back seat through the rearview mirror and he’d smile. I also caught him looking at me a couple times from the corner of my eye, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t doing the same to him. We made small talk most of the way and stopped a couple of times too.
We were half an hour away and Willow was wide awake looking out the window singing quietly to herself clutching the teddy bear Brent gave her to her chest. I was listening to the news on the radio when Caleb spoke.
“You hungry, Willow?” Caleb says looking in the rearview mirror at her. She smiles and pats her tummy. “Yes are you hungry Caleb?” she replies happily.
Caleb chuckles and shakes his head, “You wanna stop and get something to eat? There’s a burger place nearby?” He asks me and even though I want to get home and not have to deal with the good looking boy next to me, my adorable daughter begging me from the back seat convinces me otherwise. We don’t eat much take out and it’s usually a rare occasion that we do because I just don’t have the money for it. I did however transfer extra money to my account for this trip but I don’t want to overspend and regret it next week.
Caleb helps Willow out of her car seat once we reach our destination. We order our food and Caleb refuses to let me pay. I take Willow with me to the bathroom, picking her up onto the toilet I laugh at how short she is, her feet don’t touch the floor by a lot. I’m so thankful she’s fully potty trained now, those days were so hard because she is just as stubborn as her father. She does have those nights when she wets her bed but it hasn’t been as often as it used to.
Walking out to find Caleb, I notice he picked a table near the kiddies play room. He hands Willow her little kiddie’s meal box and she immediately pulls out the toy. It’s a little motor bike with some cartoon on it. I place her food neatly in front of her and watch her play with her toy, obviously more interested in it than her food.
“Look mommy…just like Hunt Hunts and Jacey’s. Ooh and Grandpa’s too!” she says enthusiastically making bike noises as she moves the toys along the table as if riding it. I’m not surprised she picked this toy, she can be the most girly little girl one moment and the next she can be such a little Tom Boy.
“Hunt Hunt?” Caleb says looking at me but Willow answers.
“He’s the best! He reads me stories before bed and tucks me in just like Jacey does. Hunt Hunt always takes me for ice-cream too and he bought me a bike but I can’t ride it yet, my feet don’t touch the ground but Hunt Hunt says it’s okay because when I’m bigger he will show me how to ride it.” she rambles on in an excited mess. Even though Caleb is smiling from ear to ear, I see his hand holding tightly onto his leg just above his knee cap and his knuckles are white. I can already tell he’s upset about Hunter and Jace spending so much time with his daughter.
“Eat up Willow, don’t want your food to get cold.” I say to her trying to change the conversation.
“Mommy
?” she says after taking a big sip of her milkshake.
“Yeah baby?”
“I miss Hunt Hunt…when is he staying over again?” she says innocently but by Caleb’s coughing, he’s overthinking Willows statement.
Finally Caleb catches his breath and gives me a glare as if to say … We will talk about this later….
“He’s away for work sweetie, how about I call him later and you can talk to him? Is that okay baby?” I say tucking a few loose strands behind her ear.
She smiles and nods then eats her food. After she’s eaten she asks to go play in the kids room.
Sitting alone with Caleb is awkward, its quiet and I know he wants to say something and its killing me that he’s not saying it.
“What’s wrong Caleb?” I say with a deep sigh as I sit back in the chair.
“You know what’s wrong Harley.” He says seriously. “How can you let guys stay over while your daughter is sleeping down the hall?”
“What? Hunter rarely stays over, he’s her God father and one of my best friends, he is really great with her. Don’t turn this into something that it’s not Caleb. He’s just a good friend.” I say digging into my bag looking for my phone that’s now ringing.
I answer the phone as I read my father’s name on the screen.
“Hey daddy.” I answer avoiding Caleb’s eyes.
“Hey Hun, where are you guys? Jace says he came there earlier and you weren’t at the apartment?” he says sounding concerned.
“Yeah daddy, Willow and I are going to stay with mom for a little bit. I know you don’t like the idea but I’m already on my way. It was kind of last minute and I was going to call you when I got there.” I say hoping he doesn’t get mad.
He’s quiet for a second or two then he replies and I let out a sigh of relief that he’s not mad , “Okay baby...you know how I feel about you two staying there but if you want to spend time with your momma then I can’t argue with that. Give my grandbaby a hug and kiss from me.”
“Okay will do daddy, thank you.” After ending the call I finally look up to Caleb.
This Broken Beautiful Thing Page 21