by Desiree Holt
“Tara?”
She could hear the edge of fear in his voice as he waited for her to break her silence.
“That’s why you’d never let me into your bedroom, isn’t it?” she said at last. “Because Maggie had slept in there with you.”
He nodded. “I didn’t want you touched by her filth.”
“And why there are no pictures anywhere in the house.”
“Yes.”
“I thought it was because you loved her so much you couldn’t bear to be reminded of her,” she whispered. “I thought you wanted a contract marriage because you were never going to get over the death of your wife.”
“God, no.” A harsh laugh escaped his lips. “That’s so far from the truth it’s not even on the same planet.” He rubbed his forehead. “When I asked you to marry me, I didn’t realize what a selfish thing I was doing. I was concerned with my needs, not yours. I don’t know how you’ve put up with everything. You’ve been far more than I could have expected.”
“What did you expect?” she asked, her voice soft.
“Not nearly what I got.” His eyes searched her face again. “And I certainly didn’t expect to fall in love with you. Maybe Jake and Sean are right, and I’ve been in love with you since the day I hired you. My feelings for you kept growing stronger. It got to the point where I could hardly be near you without getting hard.”
“But then you ran away from me,” she said.
“Because I knew what a jackass I’d been. Everything got so mixed up that night. I reacted without thinking to the situation with the child and figured I’d blown my best chance to tell you how I felt. So, jerk that I am, I went off and got drunk. And the rest, as they say, is history.”
“How do you feel now?” Her voice was so soft he almost didn’t hear her.
He looked at her with everything he felt in his eyes. “Tara, I want this to be a real marriage, if you’ll just give me the chance. I want a life with you more than I’ve ever wanted anything. I love you so much I can’t see straight. I’ve been terrified that I’d chased you away.”
“I had such mixed emotions the night everything happened,” she said slowly. “Then, to find out you didn’t even remember the details, well, I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to see you again.”
“I know. I wouldn’t blame you.” His voice was agonized. “Can we put this behind us and start fresh? Is that possible? Do you care for me at all?”
“And Molly? None of this was her fault. What about her?”
“Yes, what about her.” A look of intense sadness crossed his face. “You’re right. She’s the innocent in all this. The way I’ve treated her, I think, is the greatest crime of all.”
“But can you change that?” she asked quietly.
“I just don’t know, Tara.” He shook his head again. “I promise I’ll do my best. But I know for sure I can’t do anything without you.”
“Didn’t you have a DNA test? That would have been proof.”
A muscle jumped in his cheek. “Of course. Jake insisted. The results weren’t good. But I’ll try to get past that.”
The room was filled with tension as thick as fog, the silence broken only by the snapping of sparks in the fireplace and the hissing of logs. Tara looked down at her hands, fighting for composure. She was acutely aware of Cole, face rigid, waiting for her to respond.
“Tara, if you want me to leave, just tell me.”
His voice was so ragged she barely recognized it. She knew the next move was up to her. There were still problems, all right, but she saw with sudden clarity just how empty her life would be if she turned him away. Once she admitted this to herself, the rest was easy. Rising from the couch, she put down her wine glass and walked to where he stood.
“Tara?” he said her name again. He raised his eyes to hers, fear of what she might say written in them.
She still wouldn’t look at him. “I have no idea what you must think of me, to make love with you the way I did when things were so bad between us. To make love with you at all. Without preamble. Without anything. When we’d never even spoken about it before.”
Now he reached for her, forcing her to look at him, pulling her towards him. “Tara, I’m the one who’s humiliated. And more disgusted with myself than you can imagine. To insinuate myself in your bed that way?” He shook his head. “And to barely even remember all that happened.” He searched her eyes. ”Did I…? Did we…?”
“Yes, we did.” She bit her lip. “We did.”
“Then the thing I regret most is not being sober enough to enjoy it.”
“But…”
“No. Listen to me. People make choices in their lives. Mike had an accident that was in no way your fault. You’ve got to stop blaming yourself for something you had no control over. And I’ve got to try not to live in the past anymore.” He started to reach for her and stopped himself. “Is it all right, then? Will we be okay?”
“It’s all right,” she told him, and at once, she knew it would be. The major challenges could wait. Right now, being in his arms, feeling his body so close to her was the more important than anything else.
She put her arms around him and pressed her body against his, inhaling the spicy scent of him.
“Oh, God,” Cole groaned, the sound a mixture of relief and desire. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, sliding one large hand up to hold her head. His kiss was not a gentle one, filled as he was with desperation. His lips were soft yet bruising and demanding. He thrust his tongue into her mouth, plundering it, devouring it, tasting every inch of it.
Tara slid her tongue against his, returning movement for movement. His taste was heady, intoxicating, the mint of his toothpaste mingled with the bite of the wine. The kiss went on and on until she couldn’t breathe.
When they finally broke the kiss, he lifted his head and looked at her, studying her eyes. She could tell he saw something that made him relax just the slightest bit. He took off his jacket and tossed it on the couch, rolling back the sleeves of his shirt.
“Now, I think it’s time to stop talking. Tonight, I’m totally sober, and I plan to remember every minute of what happens.”
With that, he brought his mouth down to hers again, claiming her with a kiss that seared her soul. His tongue probed the seam of her lips and she opened for him. It was a kiss beyond any she’d ever had before, heating her blood, melting her bones. She wanted him to swallow her whole.
“Let’s go upstairs,” she said breathlessly, when they separated.
Cole shook his head. “No. I’m a desperate man, Tara. I prayed for this every minute since the other night. I want you right here, right now. In front of the fire. In this room where there are no specters to haunt me.” He pulled the soft pillows off the couch and tossed them to the floor. “I want to look at you,” he told her, his voice thick in his throat. “I want to see every bit of you. Come here.”
He reached behind her and unzipped the gown, the flimsy cloth falling at once in soft folds at her feet.
She was naked before him except for the diamond and pearl earrings reflecting the firelight. The flames cast shadows on her body, giving it a rich, warm glow. He stepped back, his eyes raking her, his breath catching involuntarily. She was more magnificent than he’d imagined. Her breasts sloped proudly upward, the nipples dark against the pale flesh. The firelight cast shadows at the hollows of her hips and at her navel. The nest of curls covering her mound was as rich in color as the thick mane she held back with the clip.
He reached around her and released her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders in shimmering waves. He touched the silky softness with his fingers. “God, you’re gorgeous. You should wear your hair this way more often. It makes you look more tempting than any woman has a right to be.”
He pulled her naked body against him, feeling warmth of her breasts through the fine cloth of his shirt, his hands exploring the unbelievable softness of her skin. The jasmine scent she favored teased at his nostrils, and he pressed his face
to her skin, inhaling her fragrance. They kissed again, tongues exploring mouths, lips pressed hard against lips. The fire snapped and crackled, casting gold and orange colors on them. The delicious scents of spruce and cinnamon and holly heightened their senses.
Tara’s hands were at his shirt, opening buttons, yanking at his tie. He felt her fingers at his belt buckle then at his fly, unfastening, unzipping. Her touch was bold, brazen.
“I want to look at you, too,” she said against his mouth.
His hands were working with hers to rip away fabric. In seconds, he was as naked as she was. He stood before her, his tall, powerful body outlined in the firelight, his eyes boring into hers.
Tara was transfixed by his nudity. He reminded her of some primitive god, ready for the mating ritual. His cock stood out from his body, the root settled in a thick nest of dark hair, his sac lying heavy against his thighs.
Just like in my dream.
She wet her lips, captivated by the sight of him in the flesh, and pressed her hands against his warm skin. He was so hard and muscular, his chest matted with a thick carpet of dark curls begging for her fingers to touch them. A soft line of down trailed along his abdomen and down into his groin. She nearly fainted when she touched his thick shaft. It was more enormous in real life than in her dream, so large it mesmerized her. She couldn’t imagine how she could accommodate it.
“Cole.” She bowed her head, catching her lower lip with her teeth. Sudden shyness and uncertainty intruded on the wave of desire sweeping through her.
“I know.” He brushed his lips across her forehead. “It’s all right, Tara.”
He bent his head to hers again, slanting his mouth to capture her lips. When he slipped his tongue into her mouth, she welcomed the taste of him, reveling in the texture of his tongue and its demanding thrusts. He tasted wonderfully of mint toothpaste and the smoky Merlot, reminding her of that first kiss they’d shared.
With a touch that was almost reverent, he skimmed her with his fingertips, running his hands over her breasts, her waist, her flat stomach and the curve of her buttocks. Every place he touched ignited another lick of flame.
“No other woman has ever affected me this way.” His voice was hoarse and not quite steady. “You reach into my very soul. I want you, every bit of you, every way I can have you and I never want to stop.”
Tara circled his erection with her fingers, but he grabbed her hand.
“Not yet. This is for you, darlin’. Just for you.”
Laying her down with great gentleness on the bed he’d made of the pillows, he touched her nipples with fingers that shook, teasing each one until it stood hard and erect against his hand. His fingertips drew a line along her ribcage and back in to her navel, circling it with his thumb.
He let his hand drift lower, until he reached the soft feel of her delicate curls. Placing his palm over her mound, he slid his finger between the folds of her pussy, seeking her opening. With a feathery touch, he stroked up and down her slit in a gliding motion, touching only the outer lips. With a soft moan, she opened her legs to him. He slid one finger into her hot sheath, then another, seeking her center.
“You’re already wet for me,” he said, desire thick in his voice.
“I know.”
Her pulse raced, every nerve firing. Her body, frozen in cold storage for so long, thawed and warmed in the heat of their passion. The feel of his body next to hers was as electric as a live wire. She could feel the definition of his hard muscles, the sweet roughness of the hair on his chest, the silkiness of his hair when he bent his head to her.
Slowly, almost lazily, Cole stroked in and out of her cunt, watching her through slitted eyes. Her eyes became heavy with passion, her breathing ragged. He moved his thumb up to find that so sensitive nub and circled it teasingly. She caught her breath and began to move her hips, urging him to enter her deeper, but he held back.
“Tonight when you come,” he said in a low voice, “I want it to be the most shattering climax you’ve ever had. Don’t deny me that.”
He curled his fingers, finding the hot spot, and she thrust hard against his hand. When the first little flutters began, he withdrew altogether.
“Oh, god, Cole, don’t stop now. Please.” Her blood felt like liquid fire and her skin felt too tight. “Make me come.”
“I will, sweetheart, but not yet. Definitely not yet.”
He slid down her body until he was lying between her legs. Grasping her thighs, he placed them over his shoulders. When she was wide open and vulnerable, he thrust his tongue inside her. She went wild, bucking against his mouth. He teased her with his tongue, with his teeth, with his hands, all the time holding her in such a way as to give him full access to her to her cunt.
Tara couldn’t stop moving her body. Her labia and her inner sheath felt hot and swollen, with so many nerve endings sparking, she didn’t know why she wasn’t burning alive. He was controlling her now, building her tension. Every time she reached the edge, he brought her down a little, keeping her in a constant state of arousal, drawing it out as much as he could.
She felt sensations gripping her body, quivering as he skillfully used his mouth, his tongue and his long, gentle fingers. This was beyond anything she had ever felt before, the tension so prolonged she didn’t think she could stand it. She was wild with hunger for him now, wanting to feel the fullness of him inside her. He made love to every inch of her, and she responded with wantonness, a glorious sense of abandonment she’d never thought herself capable of.
“Please, please, please,” she begged. It wasn’t his fingers she wanted to feel or his mouth. It wasn’t enough. She wanted—no, needed—to feel him inside her, filling her.
“Okay, darlin’. Now.”
He moved her legs from his shoulders to his thighs. She was juicy wet from her mini-orgasms, her inner muscles soft and unresisting. Slowly, slowly, he eased into her, pulling her toward him so her hips slanted, giving him greater access, allowing him to plunge deeper. There. Now. He was all the way in and the feeling was beyond anything he’d experienced.
He thrust rhythmically in and out, the friction of his cock against her inner walls turning up the heat in her body until her spasms began again, and the muscles of her cunt clenched tightly around him. She knew with every movement he was claiming her, making her his and she rose eagerly to meet him. She was on fire, pulses throbbing, blood rushing hotly through her veins. The need in her rose up and up, spiraling through her like an unwinding coil until she could think of nothing but his thick shaft inside her and the crushing waves of pleasure consuming her.
She was there…almost there…almost…Now! Cole thrust madly once, twice, three times and, with a hoarse cry, carried them both over the edge. Tara’s body shook with the crushing intensity of the orgasm. Colors swirled around her, and she felt awash in a velvet liquid. It went on and on until she was sure she couldn’t stand it anymore. The spasms shook her until she felt as if her body was breaking into a million pieces. Her nails raked his back, and she could feel the shuddering of his powerful muscles. Someone was screaming. She thought it was her, but she couldn’t be sure.
By the time the orgasm subsided, leaving only tiny aftershocks, she lay limp and boneless in his arms, completely spent, utterly sated. This…this…was the cataclysmic joining she’d hoped for. The culmination of all those dreams and the tension they’d built. The explosion of lust and desire that had built night after night, leaving her more and more unfulfilled. This was completion beyond anything she could have imagined. This was the wild ride down the mountain she’d dreamed about, only it was better than any of her dreams.
She closed her eyes, relaxing in the grip of total satisfaction.
At last. At last.
Chapter Twelve
Every muscle in Cole’s body felt as if it had been stretched to its extreme then released. All the strength had been drained from him. It was almost too much for him to realize. In all the years of his sexual experience, he had never
experienced this. His body had just exploded with his release, shaking him with its intensity. The wet fist of Tara’s delicious cunt had gripped him and hadn’t release him until the last vibration died away. None of Cole’s vast sexual experience had prepared him for the way this reached his very soul. In that moment, he knew just how totally and completely he loved this woman.
When he could move, he tried to shift his weight to give her breathing room, but she kept her arms wrapped around him, holding him.
“I must be too heavy for you.” His breathing was choppy and uneven, and his heart beat loudly against his ribs..
“No. Stay. Don’t move.” She wouldn’t let him withdraw from her, holding him in place with her legs, pressing him into her. Even when he softened, she kept him inside her. When he could move, he rained soft kisses on her cheeks, her eyelids, her forehead, the tip of her nose. “I love you. Do you know that?”
“Yes. I believe I do.” She smiled. “I love you, too.”
“Was it all right for you?” he asked, his lips against her ear. “I’m a little out of practice.”
“I don’t think I could stand it any better.” She bit her lip. “I worried that I wouldn’t satisfy you, that I wouldn’t be…experienced…enough for you. Wouldn’t know enough.”
“You can believe this or not,” he said, “but nothing I’ve ever done before was even close to the feeling I had when we came together.” He brushed the damp tendrils of curls away from her face. “Sex doesn’t have to be sophisticated to be wonderful, darlin’. I’ll teach you anything you want, but believe me, I don’t think we can improve on this.”
“Yes, I want you to,” she whispered. “I want to know everything you like, all the things that make you feel good. I want to be able to give you as much pleasure as you gave me.” She lowered her gaze, a delicate blush creeping up her cheeks. “I have to confess something.”
He frowned. “What? I thought we were through with confessions for the night.”