by Desiree Holt
“Oh, Cole.” She hugged him and laid her face against his chest. “You don’t know how much I want to make the past go away.”
“Me, too, sweetheart.” He patted her fanny. “Now, why don’t you go do whatever it is you need to do and I’ll get rid of this jacket and tie. I brought home some champagne so we could celebrate before dinner.”
* * * *
She drove Lindsey out to see their property the next morning.
“This is gorgeous.” Lindsey’s eyes sparkled. She turned to hug Tara, somewhat of a problem with her now bulging stomach and Molly in Tara’s arms, but they managed. “I’m so very happy for you. Both of you. Cole deserves every bit of happiness you bring him.”
“We still have some bumps in the road,” Tara said, “but we’re getting there, one step at a time.”
Wednesday the movers showed up on schedule and by five that afternoon, juggling a cranky Molly whose naps had been hit or miss, Tara walked back into her house where the furniture fought for space with piles of cartons. Several of them were stacked in her garage and wouldn’t be opened until the new house was ready, but her house was half the size of Cole’s, which doubled the problem. Plus the fact that her rooms were a miniature of the ones Cole was used to and likely to give him a case of claustrophobia.
Well, no matter. We’ll be a little crammed, but we can make it work. We just need to get the plans finished, settle on a builder and get him in high gear.
She unpacked some of their clothes and Molly’s things, fed and bathed the little girl and put her down for the night. At last, she collapsed on the couch, catching her breath. She was still sprawled in the same position when Cole showed up promptly at six, carrying pizza and sodas.
“My hero,” she told him. ”Just what the doctor ordered.”
“You’re an amazing woman,” he said, looking around. “I can’t believe how much you’ve gotten done.” He leaned down and kissed her. “If you’re not too tired, maybe later, I can show you just how much I admire you.” He winked and leered at her.
She was sure she was too worn out to respond to anything, but when she came out of the shower, he was waiting for her, holding a towel.
“I thought we should christen the bed.” His voice was hoarse with passion, and desire glittered in his eyes.
He began to dry her with gentle pats, his touch so intimate that she was instantly aroused. She felt the familiar race of her pulse and the throb between her legs.
When he leaned down and kissed the tender spot at the hollow of her throat, a steady thrumming there reverberated against his tongue. His lips moved over her jaw line, feathering light kisses, until his mouth came down on hers, his tongue probing, tangling with hers and feeding on her mouth. He swept the hot, dark recesses of her mouth, drinking her in, tickling at every nerve, the in and out thrust mimicking the movement of his penis when he penetrated her.
He held the kiss as he dried her breasts with great care, teasing the nipples with the roughness of the towel. The feel of his hand alone was enough to start a pulse thudding deep inside her womb, turning her knees to jelly.
He tore his mouth away from hers at last, picked her up and carried her to the bed. His eyes raked her body as he tore off his own clothes and lay down next to her. As if it were all new to him, he kissed every inch of her, touching all her sensitive places. Not an inch of her skin evaded his marauding mouth and hands. He felt her tremble with the anticipation of his movements.
Her breasts were hot to his touch, the nipples a dark rose already pebbled and waiting for his mouth. He loved to suck them and press them against the roof of his mouth with his tongue. Feel them harden even more. Feel Tara arch her body into him to give him greater access.
He touched the insides of her thighs and found them damp with her liquid. His probing fingers discovered a pussy deliciously wet for him. His warm breath blew on her soft curls as his fingertips touched her swelling labia, parting them and kissing the exposed skin with the softest touch. She pushed down at the gentle glide of his lean fingers into her vaginal canal. Cole couldn’t believe how responsive she was, how hot their sex continued to be.
“You’re wet for me,” he whispered. “God, I love the slick feel inside you, Tara. I love to feel your liquid in my hands.” He took her hand and placed it on his thick, distended cock. “See what you do to me?”
She moved her hand along the thickness of the shaft, loving the feel of it, teasing the velvety head. Sliding the tip of her finger across the drop of moisture on the top of his penis, she brought her hand up and rubbed it on her lips. The erotic sight made him groan, and he nudged her legs wider apart.
“You like my taste, don’t you?” He was so aroused he could hardly get the words out.
“Yes.” Even her words were becoming bolder. “I love it, just as I love taking your cock in my mouth and sucking it until you come.”
“I have to be inside you,” he whispered. “Now.”
But as he’d done at the cabin, he flipped her onto her stomach, using pillows to brace her and lifted her to her hands and knees. Using his fingers to scoop her juices from her cunt, he painted the tight opening of her anus, sliding one finger inside to lubricate her for his penetration.
When he was sure she was ready, panting with need, he spread the cheeks of her buttocks, positioned himself and slid into her by increments. She was still learning the pleasures of anal sex and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. But god, she was so hot and tight there she nearly blew the top of his head off.
He rolled his hips, setting the rhythm, coaxing her to breathe in and out as he fucked her ass with slow, steady strokes. He moved one hand around to find her clit, rubbing and pulling at it until she moaned with arousal and need. He was at the edge, and he knew it.
“I can’t wait, Tara.”
“Neither can I. Don’t wait. Do it now.”
In seconds, he was pouring into her, pulling her hard against him, feeling her clench around him, spurting again and again until he filled that hot, dark channel. Finally, reluctantly, he pulled from her body and went to the bathroom. She heard the sound of running water then he was back with a cloth to clean her. When he climbed back into bed, she spooned against him, her body softening. When he reached between her thighs to find her pussy, a shocked gasp slipped from her mouth.
“Cole?”
“We’re far from done yet, darlin’. I think this house has given me renewed vigor.”
Cole had no idea where either of them found the strength to last the night. He kept her in a constant state of arousal, building the tension, holding her on the edge, then backing off, soothing her and starting all over again.
There was a difference in their lovemaking, a freedom and a newness. This was more giving than possessing, tender in its fierceness. Tonight, once again, he was focused only on her pleasure. He teased at her with his fingers and his tongue, using his thumb to draw the lazy circles around her clit and felt her body shiver beneath him. When she tried to reach for him, he clasped both of her hands in one of his and held them in place over her head, arching her body toward him.
He devoured her. That was the only word for it. At last, he gave her the release she sought. Plunging into her with one swift movement, they tumbled through space, pulsating waves of pleasure flooding them both. Afterwards, they lay still in each other’s arms.
Cole stroked the side of her face, her shoulder and her arm. He’d never expected to fall in love with such total commitment. He felt it in every nerve and muscle of his body, and his heart was full to capacity. Every one of his senses was more alive because of her. The air smelled cleaner, the sky was bluer, the sun brighter. The soft cadence of her voice whenever she spoke to him had the soothing quality of a lullaby. He gave thanks constantly that she’d given him a second chance.
“You were different tonight,” she said faintly, as the moonlight filtered through the curtains.
“Except for the cabin, tonight is the first time we made love th
at I didn’t feel a phantom hovering over my shoulder. This house is clean, Tara. The only spirit in it is yours. And now ours.”
“I feel as if we’ve closed one door and walked through another.”
“That’s the plan, my love. That is, indeed, the plan.” He hugged her close to him, molding her against him, and they fell easily asleep.
Chapter Fifteen
Although they slept later than usual, Tara expected to be exhausted when she got up in the morning. To her surprise, she felt refreshed and rejuvenated. She commented on it to Cole, who just smiled.
“Dr. Cassidy’s magic fingers.” He leered wickedly.
“Dr. Cassidy better keep his magic fingers to himself this morning,” she told him as he reached for her. “I have a lot to get done and I want to make something special for our first dinner here. So go to work and keep your magic fingers busy until tonight.”
As the days moved along, they all adapted to the house much better than she’d expected. Cole suffered from claustrophobia for the first week or two, but before long, he adjusted to the more confined situation. She gave him the tiny den to use, realizing he still needed a room to hide himself in now and then. That seemed to increase his comfort zone.
Molly was consumed with delight. She had new corners to poke into and new areas to explore. The problem was her inquisitive nature propelled her into all sorts of trouble. Tara had Cole remove the inside door from the enclosed back porch and turned it into a playroom for Molly. It gave the little girl a place to expend her energy, and Tara some peace of mind.
They managed, after a fashion, but she’d be glad when the new house was finally built.
* * * *
The house had only been listed for a week when the real estate agent called to tell them they had a buyer. The people had made an offer, asking if the furniture went with it. Tara called Cole at the office, barely able to contain her excitement.
“The agent has a buyer.” She was almost dancing with glee. “The people from the Sunday showing. Almost the full price, too. And guess what? They also want all the furniture and stuff.”
“You’re kidding.” Cole laughed. “I think you’re right. This was meant to be.”
She cleared her throat. “It will be nice for you to spend Christmas someplace else.”
“You are so right,” he said after a moment of silence. “And it will be our first together.”
Our first Christmas. I have to make it special for him.
The day they closed on the sale of the house, they left Molly with her parents and went to dinner to celebrate. Cole took her to the Italian restaurant they’d eaten at before, and they took a long time over dinner.
“This is the beginning of everything new.” Tara touched his hand gently, praying silently that she was right. “A new door is opening for us.”
“You’re good for me.” He rubbed his fingers across the back of her hand. “If I hadn’t been such a fool, we could have had this a long time ago.”
“Forget about that. We have it now. That’s all that matters.”
Smiling at each other, they toasted their new life.
* * * *
The meetings with the architect went better than either of them had expected. Deciding not to build his own house and borrow trouble, Cole chose a homebuilder he had high regard for. They met with him to finalize arrangements and everything was a go for the first of the year.
Determined to fall in with the holiday spirit, especially now that they were in new surroundings, Cole took two days off and went shopping with Tara for a tree and ornaments.
“Not much,” she reminded him. “Next year, we’ll decorate in the new house. But I can’t let the season go by unnoticed. And it will be good for Molly.”
They hauled the tree to her house, and Cole helped her decorate.
“I haven’t had a tree since my folks died.” His eyes were suddenly sad.
“We’ll more than make up for it.” Tara hugged him. “From now on, every Christmas will be special.”
Christmas was a joyous celebration. They opened presents in the morning, watching Molly’s unrestrained pleasure in everything. Then they all, including her parents and Sean, trooped out to Cibolo for a holiday feast at the Varner ranch.
They celebrated New Year’s very quietly, not wanting to share this first one with anyone. At midnight, they toasted each other with champagne.
“To our wonderful life,” Cole said.
“The best,” Tara agreed.
They looked at each other with feelings of deep satisfaction and pleasure, aware of how blessed they were with a love that grew more each day.
“The land is cleared,” she told Cole one night after a trip out to the property, unable to contain her excitement. Her eyes danced, and she couldn’t stop smiling. “Oh, it looks so wonderful. And they have the house staked out to give us the best view. Right on the crest of the hill.”
“Did the builder say when they’d be pouring the concrete?”
“Tomorrow.” Tara felt like a kid at Christmas. “It’s going to be just fantastic.”
Two or three times each week, she bundled Molly into the car and drove out to the site, checking progress and meeting with the builder. And of course, there was a never-ending array of things to select—paint, flooring, fixtures, counters, appliances. The list went on and on. Cole was busier at the office than ever. Alamo had three new projects going. Still, he managed to steal time here and there when Tara needed him.
Some nights, they were so tired they just crawled into bed, looked at each other and fell asleep. But Tara was never too tired to be conscious of the tension that was still their companion where Molly was concerned. Cole’s stoicism when he was with her was almost painful to watch.
Sitting at the kitchen table one morning, sipping the last of her coffee, she tried to search her mind for some solution. The house was quiet. Cole had gone to the office for a rare Saturday meeting, and Molly was with Nicki. The teenager had picked her up earlier to take her to a birthday party for one of the myriad Varner nieces and nephews. Tara had looked forward to this time to do some uninterrupted work, but her mind kept wandering.
Since the week in the cabin, their marriage had been incredible—warm, passionate, loving. Cole was more open with her in every way than he’d ever been to anyone in his life. He had torn down walls he’d spent years erecting, reaching out to make her a part of himself. It was everything she could want. Almost.
The subject of Molly was still an invisible barrier between them.
“I’ll try,” he’d promised.
He really was making the effort, but Tara could see how painful every contact was for him, how he nearly dreaded it. Knowing he did it for her made her heart ache twice as much. How awful that his love for a tiny life he’d thought he’d created has been brutally destroyed by a few careless but well-chosen words.
The whole situation was still a ticking time bomb. The older Molly got, the more she’d sense Cole’s feelings for her and wonder at the distance he created. What new problems would that bring? Tara could see herself placed squarely in the middle of a no-win situation.
In the midst of all her newfound happiness, she wanted to weep at the unfairness of it all, at the legacy of a spiteful woman.
Damn Maggie, anyway, for bringing such pain to such a wonderful man.
At last, sighing, she drained her coffee cup and placed it in the dishwasher. The answer was some place. She’d just have to be clever enough to find it before it destroyed them all.
* * * *
Time seemed to be passing so swiftly now with the activities that consumed each day. Before they knew it, their first anniversary was approaching and Cole wanted them to do something special.
“Not go away,” he said quickly. “I know the timing isn’t right for that. But think about some place you’ve always wanted to go for dinner. Or something we can do that’s always been on your wish list.”
“You spoil me.” She kissed him. “I�
��ll give it some thought, okay? And try to come up with some suggestions.”
At that moment, though, she was so tired nothing appealed to her. And deadlines were looming. The house was nearly complete. All it needed were the last finishing touches. Then they would call the movers and put her house up for sale. They’d decided to take their time shopping for furniture, using hers in the interim. She knew Cole was anxious to actually be settled at last, and she was doing her best to get ready.
Tara was so relieved he was willing to wait on the furniture she could have wept. The thought of more shopping, more choosing, exhausted her. A fatigue enveloped her that she just couldn’t seem to shake. She’d felt it for days. Then one morning, she woke up and couldn’t drag herself out of bed.
“I think I have the flu.” She had just thrown up for the third time. “It’s been going around. Remember when Nicki had it? What with all the moving around and everything, I just realized I forgot to get my flu shot. I don’t think I’ll be up to much celebrating on our anniversary. I’m so sorry.”
Cole, concern lining his face, brought her some tea and made her lie down with a cold cloth on her forehead. “The important thing is for you to get well. You’ve worn yourself out with moving and working on the new house. I should have seen what was happening and put the brakes on.”
“It wasn’t a big deal,” she protested. “If I had just gotten that stupid flu shot, I’d be all right.”
Molly was bouncing up and down in her crib, babbling her familiar sounds.
“I have to get up.” Tara tried to sit up without much success. “Molly needs to be dressed and fed.”
Cole forced her back down to the pillow. “I’ll manage. You’re in no condition to do anything.”
“But you don’t…”
“I can do it.” He smiled at her thinly. “I run a company with massive projects.. I should be able to take care of one small child.”
“Come get me if you need help,” she called in a weak voice.