There were only two ways he could think of to get through to her, and taking her to bed at this stage was clearly not an option. He didn’t want to rush her and have her regret it later. Decision made, he led her over to the couch and sat down, cradling her on his lap.
The silence lengthened between them for a few more moments before he said, ‘We’re not responsible for the actions of our parents. You’ve assumed my life has been easy, but that isn’t the case. In fact, you and I have more in common than you realise.’ He stroked her hair as she nestled against his chest. ‘My father committed suicide too — after he murdered my mother.’
Jessica’s head jerked up abruptly. ‘I had no idea! I’m so sorry.’
He ignored her sympathy and pushed on with his point. ‘You’re no more a prostitute like your mother than I am a murderer like my father. We can’t be judged by the actions of our parents. They were the adults responsible for us, we were in no way responsible for their behaviour, or the choices they made.’
The ugly truth was out. The dirty family scandal his grandfather and uncle had used all their wealth and influence to cover up, lay between them. He’d never spoken of it to anyone, yet he’d told Jessica to make her understand she was her own person, just as he was.
He almost wished he could take the words back, because now it became impossible to erase from his mind’s eye, the image of his mother’s bloodied body sprawled on the linoleum of the kitchen floor.
‘I came home from school one afternoon and my world fell apart.’ His life had changed forever. The moment he’d seen his mother’s body, he’d dumped his school bag and rushed forward to her. Stabbing pain ripped at his chest all over again as he relived the memory of her lifeless eyes and saw her body lying in a pool of blood. His mind had grappled with the evidence of the obvious bullet wound near her heart. He still agonised at having lost her in that violent way.
‘I found my mother and realised I was too late to save her. Then, I heard a strangled cry.’ It was the most mournful, soul-breaking sound he’d ever heard. ‘My father sat huddled in the corner of the room. When I called him, he began crying inconsolably.’
‘Papa!’ Ricardo called, with all the emotion of a broken, ten-year-old boy. ‘What happened? Who did this?’
The red-rimmed, swollen eyes of his father looked his way, but straight through him— as though they didn’t see him. His father’s eyes were completely blank and lifeless just as his mother’s had been. Eyes of the dead.
‘She was going to leave me,’ he said. ‘Your mother didn’t love us at all. She only loved the Garcia name. She only wanted the wealth she thought I’d give her.’
‘I saw a flash of steel and watched in horrified disbelief as my father put the gun to his temple.’
Jessica’s hand smoothed over his cheek, but even her touch couldn’t wipe away the traumatic memories.
‘No!’ he cried out to his father.
Fernando Garcia’s voice was toneless as he uttered his last words. ‘Don’t ever do it, Ricardo. Don’t ever fall in love. You’ll lose everything you ever had — everything you could ever be.’
Ricardo froze, unable to make sense of his father’s words. He watched in terror as his father depressed the trigger slowly and...
Now, unwilling to relive the blind panic, Ricardo shook his head and forced the memory away. He realised his shoulders were rounded and his hands had covered his face as he tried to shut out the images of the tragedy he’d witnessed.
‘That’s so much worse than what I’ve been through,’ she said with great empathy.
Embarrassed and exposed, he removed his hands from his face. ‘I’m sorry.’ His voice shook as he apologised. ‘It’s a long time since I’ve recalled the events in such detail.’ He didn’t want to look at her. He didn’t want to see any sympathy in her eyes and he didn’t want her to see any trace of vulnerability in his. The trauma he’d relived gave way to anger for having allowed the memories infiltrate his mind and his emotions.
‘I’m sure it’s not something you want to remember,’ she said quietly, before she covered his lips with her own.
He accepted her healing kisses passively for a few seconds before raising his hands to her head and responding with increased passion.
The soft stroking of her hand against his was like a balm to his raw heart.
He broke the kiss and looked at her hands, thinking absently that it was no wonder she was a good masseuse. She had healing hands and her eyes were full of care.
‘Do you know why he did it?’ she ventured.
‘I heard my uncle and aunt talking about it years later. It was only then I found out my mother had been having an affair. I remember my father telling me my mother was leaving him. I didn’t make any sense of it as a child, but now I understand. It wasn’t my father she loved. She’d wanted to be part of the esteemed and wealthy Garcia family. When my grandfather cut him off from the family, he no longer had any wealth or social standing. My mother soon turned elsewhere for her affection.’
‘Your father must’ve been devastated.’
‘My father was a weak, selfish bastard. He didn’t care about any impact his actions had on others. He certainly didn’t care about me or how his actions would impact upon my life.’ He let his head fall back against the soft leather of the couch. ‘I haven’t spoken of it in twenty years. I’ve spent all that time trying to forget.’
‘I can’t imagine the trauma you’ve been through.’ She gave his hand a small squeeze. After awhile she ventured, ‘You said I needed to forgive my mother, and you were right. I don’t know how hard her life was. I don’t know whether she had any choice other than prostitution.’ She brushed her lips over his. ‘You were ten years old when you lost your parents. You can’t know what either of your parents went through. To have done what he did, your father must’ve been gripped by severe depression and a sense of utter desolation. You have to forgive him. You have to forgive your mum as well because you can’t know what life was like for her and what truly motivated her.’
Without thinking, he took her hand and pressed his lips against her soft skin. Jessica touched a place within him that had never been breached by another soul.
‘I told you about my parents because I want you to realise how important it is to leave your past behind you,’ he said. ‘You have to stop comparing yourself to your mother.’
Her lips trembled as she smiled up at him. ‘You’re right. You make me see I can move forward. I’m not my mother and I never will be. Taking that next step with you isn’t going to turn me into a hooker.’ She held his face in her hands. ‘Ricardo, now you’ve told me about your parents, I can see the parallels between us.’
He frowned in incomprehension. ‘We both had a parent who committed suicide.’
‘Not that.’ She stroked his cheek. ‘I’ve held back from becoming your lover because I didn’t want to be like my mum. You refuse to believe in love because you’re scared you’ll be hurt like your father.’
His mind clamped, denying her accusation. ‘No. I’ll never be weak like my father.’
‘I know. I’m sure you’re stronger than he was. You can find the happiness that alluded him, but you have to reject your belief that love will make you weak.’
Ricardo’s chest was tight. Each of her words pressed on his lungs like the tightening of a vice, making it difficult for him to breathe.
Was she right? Was he scared of loving and being left devastated?
He shifted her off his lap and onto the couch before he stood. Thoughts whirled through his brain. Indecision and doubt attacked. He needed space to think this through. ‘I meant what I said to you,’ he told her as he put some distance between them. ‘I’m prepared to wait until you’re ready to come to my bed, but you have to understand —I’ll never tell you I love you.’
Her next words stopped him in his tracks. ‘I’ve made my decision.’
Uncharacteristically, he felt his nerves stretch as he waited.
&nbs
p; ‘I want to be your lover.’ She stood, back straight and chin angled in determination. ‘I accept responsibility for my own emotions. I’m ready to take the risk and embrace what’s between us for as long as it lasts. No more waiting, Ricardo. I’m ready.’
His feet were stuck to the floor and refused to move as she took a step toward him. ‘You told me you couldn’t give me your body without giving me your heart.’
‘Like it or not, that’s still true.’
‘But —’
She shrugged and quoted, ‘Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?’
Mierda! ‘Why now?’ He hoped to hell this wasn’t because of what he’d told her about his parents. He didn’t want her in his bed out of pity.
She smiled. ‘I’m ready to grow up, move forward and be my own person.’
He hesitated. As much as he wanted Jessica, he was at a crucial point. Now he was the one who needed time to untangle all the possibilities she’d thrown at him.
‘Golly, you’re not having cold feet now, are you?’ she demanded. Her hands moved in little jerks of exasperation.
‘No,’ he denied. ‘But —’
‘Wonderful! It’s time you made good on your original offer because I’m ready to have my first screaming orgasm,’ she said boldly, ‘and you did offer to share one with me!’
‘Woman, you have a sadistic streak.’ He groaned as he closed the distance between them. ‘You tell me this after a sleepless night and when I’m due in at the office shortly on my first day as CEO?’
‘I figure it’s as good a time as any,’ she told him cheekily.
‘Wrong, querida. We’ve waited this long and our first experience of lovemaking is not something I want to rush. You,’ he tapped the end of her nose, ‘are just going to have to exercise patience now and wait until tonight.’
‘Ah, Ricardo. There’s a big part of me that’s really pleased you said that.’
He smiled at her in understanding. ‘That would be the part wanting it to be perfect between us and not just about a quick slaking of desire.’
‘Yes.’
Taking her hand, he kissed each finger tip individually. ‘I’m sensitive to your needs. I want to get this right for both of us. You’re happiness is more important to me than I ever would’ve thought possible.’
Somehow he would be the lover she wanted, the lover she needed, without breaking her heart.
Chapter Eleven
A day had never passed more slowly. Ricardo had numerous meetings and many tasks to oversee as he assumed his new role in the company. Every hour, he called the member of the security team he’d assigned to shadow Jessica and keep her safe. The man told him she’d walked into the old city, visited the Picasso Gallery and stopped at virtually every tourist shop along Las Ramblas. Ricardo instructed the bodyguard to phone him the second Jessica was on her way home.
It was four o’clock when she returned to the apartment. Ricardo walked in ten minutes later with only one question on his mind. ‘Have you changed your mind about tonight?’
‘No.’ Her eyes were clear, her conviction sincere as she answered.
He exhaled a pent up breath. ‘I don’t want to wait any longer.’
‘Nor do I,’ she said simply. Her smile warmed right through to his heart before she grew serious. ‘I’m nervous about this, though. I’m not very experienced and I don’t want you to be disappointed.’
Ricardo frowned. The daughter of a prostitute, had Jessica grown up thinking of sex as an act where a woman had to impress a man — had to perform ‘tricks’ in bed for the man’s sexual gratification? She’d said she had hang-ups about sex, but he got the impression he was discovering the tip of the iceberg.
The bastard she’d been married to evidently hadn’t helped matters either.
‘Come.’ He held out his hand and she placed hers in it, giving him her trust. There was no point in reassuring her with words. It would be far better to show her she was the lover he needed. He led her into his bedroom and through to his bathroom.
Her face lit up. ‘Oh, wow!’
‘I phoned ahead,’ he explained.
A quick call to his housekeeper before he’d left the office had ensured candles were lit all over the bathroom, exotic bath oil filled the sunken marble bathtub, and most importantly, that they were quite alone.
‘This is wonderful!’ She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. ‘You make me feel so special.’
‘You are special, and this is no less than you deserve.’
‘Nobody has ever done anything so thoughtful for me before.’
His gut clenched and he vowed he’d spend every day they were together ensuring she knew just how special she was.
‘So, here we are.’ Her words were hesitant.
Ricardo drew her close to him, raised his hands and trailed his fingertips over the soft skin of her cheeks.
‘I’m nervous.’ The edge of panic in her voice sliced through him.
‘Just relax.’ He slid his hands down and lifted the silky curtain of her hair. He kissed the graceful column of her neck and her head fell back to allow him greater access. ‘There’s no right nor wrong, Jessica. There’s just you and me and what’s important between us.’
Slowly. He had to take this slowly. One kiss, one caress at a time until she was mindless with need.
She moaned his name as his tongue traced the indentation at the base of her neck. One arm was around her back to support her, while his other hand began the task of unbuttoning her blouse. All the while, his lips ravished up and down her neck and explored the sensitive area behind her ear.
Her pulse hammered quickly near the base of her throat.
The light scent of her floral perfume mingled with the musky scent of her arousal and made a heady aphrodisiac.
Finally, her blouse was unbuttoned, and he straightened away from her flesh. Her eyes seemed a little unfocussed. Ensuring she was steady on her feet, he used both hands to slide her blouse off her shoulders and down her arms. She shivered when the fabric fell onto the marble tiles.
‘Are you cold?’
‘No.’ Her laugh was self-conscious. ‘These are shivers of anticipation.’
Her nervous honesty reminded him she possessed none of the sophisticated artifice of the women he usually took to his bed.
‘Jessica. You are very special to me.’ His voice was husky.
His fingers pressed up her spine and released the clasp of her bra. This woman was not just another female form offering herself to him for a brief session of mutual sexual satisfaction. He knew Jessica was giving him more than her body tonight. She was handing him her trust. The weight of the responsibility daunted him, for he couldn’t remember another time when a person had handed him something so precious.
In a show of courage, it was she who reached up and slid the straps of her bra down her arms.
As the lacy cups of her bra fell away, Ricardo’s mouth dried. The act of touching her was unstoppable. He cupped her breasts and marvelled at how each one filled his hands.
Jessica swallowed hard and her tongue tip darted out to moisten her bottom lip.
Mierda, he was so turned on, he had to get out of the constriction of his trousers. But, Jessica’s needs would come first.
Each dusky pink aureole beckoned him to taste and to tease. When she moved her shoulders, her breasts thrust more firmly against his palms. He was unable to resist any longer. He drew one tight nipple into his mouth and began to lap at it with his tongue tip. When he suckled on her whole aureole, his name emerged from her as a strained plea.
His hands outlined her ribcage and slid down the indentation of her waist.
Her skirt had to go.
A few seconds later, that item of clothing joined the growing pile on the floor.
Reluctance to leave the sweet flesh of her breasts, warred with his need to explore the rest of her body. Hooking his fingers under the elastic of her knickers, he sank to his haunches, pull
ing the fabric down over her hips and thighs as he did so. When he let gravity deal with the fabric, Jessica moved from one foot to another, to step out of them.
Ricardo smoothed his hands down over her hips and rested his head against the flatness of her stomach. For a few seconds, he closed his eyes and breathed in the erotic scent of her. He wanted badly to taste her there, but sensed this intimacy was so new that he’d need to introduce her slowly to every joy. Instead, he got to his feet, put a little distance between them and revelled in her nakedness. ‘You’re perfect.’
‘I’m sure I’ll think the same about you when you finally get around to removing your clothes!’ Her tone held just a hint of complaint.
Ricardo laughed and set about answering her subtle request. ‘I assure you I’ll be much more comfortable without the constriction of underwear.’
‘Oh my! I can see why!’ she exclaimed when he stood naked before her. Her eyes were glued to his erection and she had such an expression of awed wonder on her face he wasn’t sure whether to laugh, or to beat his chest.
Refraining from reacting either way, he merely took her hand and led her down the steps into the warm, fragrant bathwater. She went into his arms willingly, and they stood in the waist-deep water, clinging to each other.
As he kissed her, Ricardo registered he’d never felt such a profound connection. To his satisfaction, Jessica’s kisses grew more fervent. Her hands ran across his shoulders and down the indentation of his spine. Each touch grew more confident and more demanding.
‘You have the best body I’ve ever seen,’ she told him breathlessly. ‘The best body I’ve ever touched.’
‘That would be high praise coming from a woman who’s massaged some of the top athletes in Britain?’
‘Very high praise,’ she said before she dipped her head to his chest and began tormenting his small nipples in the same way he’d teased hers earlier.
The gentle suckling grew more intense, making his erection jerk in response.
A Spanish Seduction Page 14