‘I’ve been programmed from the age of ten to protect myself against love and the hurt it brings.’ He heard the frustration and confusion in his voice as the words tumbled out. ‘Since my parents’ deaths I’ve hardened myself against all emotions and driven myself to achieve one thing and one thing only — succeeding where my father failed. Taking over the reins of the Garcia Corporation when my grandfather thought I was never good enough for the job. Proving to myself I’m good enough and not repeating the mistakes my father made.
I would never have achieved all I did in racing had it not been for sheer bloody-minded determination to succeed at all costs. There’s no place in my life for love.’
‘Ricardo.’ Her voice was gently persuasive. ‘You’ve achieved your other goals. It’s time to make a place in your life for love and for me. Trust me.’
Trust. It wasn’t something he did easily. Yet, he was falling under her spell. She made him want to believe, but he was afraid that in finding her, he was losing himself.
When he shook his head, she moved along the leather seat, away from him. To see her inner glow dim, to know he’d extinguished the sparkle in her eyes was a hard kick in the gut. Everything in him wanted to haul her back into his arms, but he still held back.
Damn it! Why was she pushing him at this point when he needed time to think?
‘What happens now?’ Her voice was defeated.
He wasn’t sure. That was why he needed to think!
He should send her back to England, but he couldn’t ask her to leave without giving himself a chance to sift through his feelings. Besides, if she left now it may look as though he’d discarded her because of tonight’s public revelations about her mother. The story was bound to appear in the press by tomorrow morning and if she was in England, he couldn’t support her through the intrusive press interest.
‘We have a deal, Jessica. You agreed to stay in Barcelona for three months and your time with me is not at an end.’
‘But you told me our deal was over. You said —’
‘Being lovers was not part of our deal, but I’m holding you to our three month agreement.’ They couldn’t continue to be lovers when she wanted so much more than he was capable of giving. He steeled himself to end their personal involvement. ‘In the circumstances it would be better if you occupied a different room for the remainder of your stay.’ The statement caused a huge heaviness to settle in his chest and lethargy pervaded his limbs.
‘It would be better if I left.’
No! ‘If you leave now, you’ll have to face the barrage of the press alone. I won’t let you do that without my support.’
‘I suppose Simone’s revelations may cause your board members to ask questions. Having me stay will cover-up the truth.’
‘That’s not why I want you to stay. I doubt the board will dismiss me at this point. I just want to support you through the inevitable press storm.’
‘Oh.’ She didn’t sound convinced. ‘I really don’t want this to go badly for you.’
Hell! Even in the face of his rejection she was thinking of what was best for him.
She’s one in a million. Why are you pushing her away?
She seemed to wrestle with herself. ‘I’ll move my things into my old room as soon as we return to Barcelona.’
Relief flooded through him. ‘We’ll fly back tomorrow morning as planned. There’s the launch to attend tomorrow evening as well as a fundraising luncheon for my charity.’
He told himself he felt an obligation to support her through the press storm he’d inadvertently exposed her to, but he couldn’t hide from the truth. He simply wasn’t ready to face the future without Jessica.
Chapter Sixteen
‘The whole scene with Cristabel and Simone was like a nightmare, Tiffany. I functioned on automatic for the rest of the evening, yet the second I got into the limousine and was held by Ricardo I came back to life. I laid my heart down at his feet and ironically he stomped all over it while saying he didn’t want to hurt me!’
‘Oh man, you’ve got it bad. You’re going to have to do something!’ Tiffany urged her over the phone.
‘What more can I do? I remember all the wonderful ways he’s supported me and cared for me and I’m convinced he feels far more than he’s admitting. Then, I think back to how he made the decision to race without any regard for me at all, and I’m devastated. I’m see-sawing from one feeling to the next. Last night I thought it would be better if I left and got on with life, this morning I’ve decided to hang in there and do everything I can to win him over.’
‘I think you’re being too hard on him. I’m not sure you should’ve expected a discussion about his decision to race. It sounds like he was under a lot of pressure. Not only did he have all those issues about racing again and Santiago’s death to sort through, but Manuel was pressuring him. You also mentioned you thought he was racing for his uncle’s sake. Given all you’ve told me about how his aunt and uncle took him in, he must feel indebted to them.’
Jess chewed on her lip. It was always good to get another perspective. Perhaps she shouldn’t have taken the incident so personally. Ricardo was all alpha male. He wouldn’t be used to involving anyone else in his decision making. Wasn’t the decisive, authoritative power of him something she found attractive?
‘You may be right.’
‘I think it was something he had to decide by himself.’
‘Thanks. I feel better about that now.’
‘I know you, Jessie. You won’t get over him, so your decision to stay is absolutely the right one.’ She paused. ‘You’ll just have to do something drastic to shake him up. Perhaps you should pack your things and pretend you’re coming home. He might finally realise how much you mean to him.’
‘No.’ She wasn’t prepared to take that risk in case he didn’t miss her as much as Tiffany hoped. Besides, if she left it might look as though Simone was right and their relationship had merely been the cover-up it started out as, or that Ricardo was dumping her when the going got tough. She didn’t want things to go badly for him with the board.
‘Then find another Spanish hunk, Jess, and flirt like crazy with him.’
‘He has admitted to being jealous.’
‘It’s an old trick for a very good reason. It works!’
Jess dismissed the idea. ‘I don’t want to send him mixed messages. I’ve told him I love him and he’s got it in his head that if he loves someone he’ll get hurt. I don’t want to give him any reason to doubt my love for him, and I certainly don’t intend to hurt him.’
‘You’ve got to be cruel to be kind.’
‘Not in this case.’
‘So, what are you going to do?’
‘Hang in there, wear the sexiest outfits I can find so he’s kicking himself for not having me in his bed, and take every opportunity I can while we’re in public to make him want me.’
‘I hope this works out.’
‘Thanks for your support. I’m sure I’m going to need to pour my heart out to you daily over the phone.’
‘You know I’m here for you.’
Jess glanced at the clock on her bedside table. ‘Gosh, I’ve got to go. We’re due at a fundraising luncheon for his charity, and then we’ve got the launch of the new sports car tonight.’
‘Have fun and be sexy!’
Jess would make sure of it.
***
Ricardo watched as Jessica joined in a nursery dance with a group of twenty or so young children. Having managed to make their way through a wall of reporters when they left his apartment and as they arrived here, they were now able to relax at the annual fundraising luncheon.
It was the first time he’d ever brought a woman to one of these parties for his charity. He couldn’t remember whether it had been a conscious decision or whether he’d simply been between lovers each year at this time. No other woman he’d dated would’ve fit in this environment.
Everyone gravitated to Jessica’s warmth. Only minute
s after they’d arrived, she’d had the kids following her around as though she were the Pied Piper.
Knowing an English woman could converse so easily in Spanish made her even more popular with the children, parents and workers.
The nursery dance came to an end and one little child, who had chocolate icing all over her face, rushed forward to hug Jessica’s legs. Without hesitation, Jessica responded, sweeping the child up into her arms, unbothered by the sticky chocolate icing which was surely going to be wiped all over the bodice of her designer-label dress.
A great, unseen fist slammed into his chest as he imagined her with her own child. Jessica. A mother of children she’d have with some other man. His gut twisted as the young male director of his charity walked over to her. It may as well have been a completion of the picture — Jessica and another man standing together with a child, laughing at whatever it was the child said.
No! Denial raged through Ricardo with the full, unstoppable force of a tsunami.
Yet, what was he thinking? That he should be the one with Jessica? That it should be their child she carried? He’d never even wanted children!
Sharp unease pricked at his skin from his palms all the way up to the back of his neck. God, but he was breaking out in a sweat. Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved a handkerchief and wiped his brow.
Jessica turned to him and her smile faltered. Giving the child a kiss on the forehead, she placed her down and made her way directly to him.
‘Are you okay?’ A small frown pleated her brow. ‘You seem very pale.’
Unable to answer her and incapable of resisting her sweetness, Ricardo pulled her into his arms. ‘I’m fine. I believe our lunch is about to be served.’
His assurance had been a lie. He was far from being fine. Everything about Jessica made him question his long-held beliefs. Trying to untangle his thoughts, his needs and his wishes for his future, had only resulted in a more intertwined mesh of confusion. Just when he thought he’d be snarled in the web of uncertainty forever, Jessica would smile at him and cut through the mayhem. His future would seem clear and Jessica was right beside him in his vision. Then, he’d remember his father’s words and become bogged down again in indecision.
By the end of the luncheon, only one thing was clear to him. Jessica completed him. While he may never be capable of the love she wanted, he could strive to make her happy in every other way because he didn’t want to let her go.
There’d be no opportunity to talk tonight, as they had to attend the car launch. He resolved to take her out somewhere special the following evening and tell her exactly how he felt.
Chapter Seventeen
The apartment intercom buzzed when Jess was on the phone to Tiffany the following day. ‘The doorman’s ringing up, I’ll have to go.’
‘Call me tomorrow. I want to hear more about the launch.’
‘I will.’
Thank God she had Tiffany to unload to or she’d probably go mad. Jess felt she was about to crack under the strain of the press. The paparazzi had been camped outside the door ever since the news of her mother hit the stands.
‘Hi Pedro,’ she said into the intercom handset.
‘Good afternoon, Señorita Harris. I have a gentleman here who is requesting to visit you.’
‘A member of the press?’
‘No.’ Pedro sounded offended she thought he’d even entertain the idea of disturbing her for a press member. ‘It’s Señor Juan Ramirez. He says he’s a friend of Señor Garcia and met you at the opera.’
Juan Ramirez? The man who’d intimated he would spirit Jessica away from Ricardo?
‘Please tell Señor Ramirez I’m not receiving visitors.’ She wouldn’t want to be in the same room as the man without Ricardo by her side.
‘Si, señorita.’ There was approval in Pedro’s voice. ‘Have a nice afternoon. I will ensure you’re not disturbed again.’
But she’d only just made herself a pot of tea and was trying to concentrate on the next unit of her naturopathy study when the intercom buzzed again.
‘I’m sorry to disturb you again, señorita. Señora Carla Lorezzi is here to see you.’
Carla Lorezzi? What on earth could that woman want?
Part of her was tempted to find out. For a few seconds she hesitated before common sense prevailed. The woman was trouble. ‘Please tell her I’m not receiving visitors.’
‘Of course. I’m sorry to have bothered you, Señorita.’
Jessica pushed the button to end the call. The prickle of unease raced up her spine and danced around the nape of her neck. Battling to pull herself together, she’d only managed to take a few steps away before the buzzer sounded again.
‘My utmost apologies, señorita, but Señora Lorezzi is most insistent. She says to tell you it’s vital to Señor Garcia that she sees you.’
Jessica gnawed at her lower lip. How should she respond?
Should she weaken? What harm could she come to in the apartment, and if it was vital to Ricardo...
No. Decision made, Jessica crossed her arms over her chest. ‘Pedro, please tell Señora Lorezzi she should make an appointment to see Señor Garcia at his office.’
Phew!
‘Absolutely, señorita.’
Had she done the right thing? Unable to even think about focussing on her study, Jessica picked up the cordless phone and dialled Ricardo’s number.
‘Jessica?’ She heard the concern in his voice. She’d made a point of never phoning him while he was at work. ‘Are you okay?’
‘No. Something’s wrong. Only a short time ago the beastly Juan Ramirez turned up at the apartment wanting to see me.’
‘You didn’t let him in, did you?’
‘No.’
‘Good girl.’ She heard the relief in his voice.
‘Something’s going on, Ricardo. Carla Lorezzi’s downstairs insisting she has to tell me something that’s vitally important to you.’
Ricardo swore. ‘Don’t let her in.’
‘I haven’t. I told her to make an appointment with you at your office.’
‘Good.’
‘Do you have any idea what’s going on?’ She hung on his response.
‘Possibly. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.’
Those fifteen minutes feel like hours as she paced the apartment, unable to do anything but keep glancing at the clock. When Ricardo walked through the door, she saw strain bracketing his mouth.
Anxiety tore at her insides like raptor claws. ‘What’s happening?’
He threw his keys on a coffee table and began loosening his tie in short, sharp movements. ‘The board members are meeting tomorrow morning. Although I can’t confirm the reason for the meeting, I’ve been instructed not to attend until they call for me. All I can think is that they’re reviewing my position as CEO.’
Jessica swore. ‘Is this because of all the bad press about my mother?’
She watched his hands clench and unclench. ‘Sit down, Jessica.’
Almost certain he was about to deliver a blow of astronomic proportions, Jessica sat. She was unsure her legs would support her if she didn’t follow his command.
‘Aberto Lorezzi hired an investigator to track my movements and yours. Lorezzi has written again to each board member. He’s said it was impossible for me to be in a relationship with you until recently, and that your passport will show you were not the woman I was pictured with in Venice. Not only has he reasserted his claims that I was having an affair with his wife, but he’s sent a copy of his letter to the Spanish gutter tabloid that printed the story about your mother.’
Oh hell! She jumped up from the sofa and wrung her hands in agitation. The fuse had been lit. The spark was racing along and it was just a matter of time before she and Ricardo were caught up in the explosion. Would the truth blow all his career aspirations out of the water? Certainly, their credibility would be shot to pieces. The question was whether the whole incident would leave them very badly scarred or completely m
aim Ricardo’s corporate rise.
‘My mother always said truth had a way of coming out. Damn it, Ricardo! This is going to make you look a hundred times guilty when you were never guilty in the first place!’ Why hadn’t he listened to her initial reasoning?
One hand went to the back of his neck and she guessed his muscles were tight with stress. ‘Lorezzi’s investigator has discovered I’ve paid off your debt.’
She slumped back down into the sofa and willed herself not to throw up. ‘Cristabel’s public claims that you’re paying me...Her insinuation I’m a hooker is going to seem true.’
‘I won’t let that happen.’
‘How can you stop it?’
‘There’s only one way to handle it.’ He threw his tie on to the sofa and sat next to her.
‘More lies?’ This was such a mess.
‘No.’
‘Surely not the truth? You’ve gone to all this trouble to hide the truth from the board. Surely you’re unwilling to admit this has all been a hoax?’
His shrug was eloquent, his confidence alarming. ‘Share prices have risen and orders secured for our latest sports car are at a record high. The morale of workers has improved which in turn has led to increased productivity. The board members aren’t stupid. They know I’m the right person for the position.’
The man was a human dynamo and she knew his words were no idle boast. He’d already shared some of his successes with her in his daily telephone calls from the office, and everyone she’d met at their social engagements sang Ricardo’s praises.
‘I know you’ve already started turning the company around, but I still can’t believe you’re so calm when this lie about to explode!’
‘But it isn’t completely a lie anymore is it?’ He placed a hand on her thigh.
She shook her head in agitated denial, trying to switch her focus off the heat from his hand. ‘I wasn’t the woman with you in Venice and we can’t pretend I was when all the evidence says otherwise.’
A Spanish Seduction Page 19