Then I was gone.
I floated in an abyss of blackness.
I was so cold. Was I frozen?
What had Crypt done?
This was one of the most frightening experiences I’d ever had.
I?
Who was I?
I couldn’t even find myself. How could I if I didn’t know who I was?
Then there was a warm buzzing, and I was in the palace. I sighed in relief. I hadn’t died.
Turning to Crypt, I said, “Remind me never to allow you to do that again.”
He raised an eyebrow at me, before responding with a respectful, “Yes, Highness.”
For the first time, I noticed my surroundings. I stood in the vaulted council chamber. The winter light filtered wanly through the vibrant window mosaics. The high-backed chair for Argent’s monarch was empty, but the rest of the council members were sitting. They sat forward on their velvety blue chairs, staring at me, astonished.
I smiled sweetly.
I hadn’t thought to tell Crypt where to put me. Why did he put me here?
Then it occurred to me that he had realized I would need to be where all the council members would be. They did all their work here in this chamber, so here was the best place to take me.
Clearing my throat, I walked over to the high-backed chair at the head of the table. I settled regally onto its plush, royal blue velvet cushions, my arms drifting into the gilded armrests.
“I am sorry to intrude like this, ladies and gentlemen. However, an urgent matter has come to my attention.”
They gaped at me.
Head Councilor West recovered first.
“My Queen.” She stood, giving me a deep bow.
I waved my hand for her to stand up.
“Now is not the time to be concerning ourselves with formalities, Councilor West. War has begun.”
The Council gasped. Then a stifling quiet blanketed the chamber.
I broke it with a slight cough.
“If you are all done gawking?” I raised my chin. “We should get down to business.”
Head Councilor West nodded. “Of course, Your Majesty.”
“Now, it has come to my attention that all of our major defense outposts have been attacked and besieged by Cyril. There has been no provocation on our part. We have no choice but to retaliate, but we must decide how to do so. ”
Head Councilor West waited politely for me to finish, and then stood, signaling that she wished to speak.
“Yes, Councilor West?”
With my go-ahead, she proceeded with her comment. “Should we not attempt negotiations with Cyril to be sure of their intent in attacking us?”
I nodded politely to her, “It is a good idea, Councilor West. We shall consider it.”
The door opened. I looked across the room abruptly. Silence fell across the room as the pageboy announced General Orin.
“General Orin.” I nodded to him from my perch on the throne.
“My Queen.” He bowed to me, the bow deep and reverential.
“Will you please brief us on events at the front?”
He nodded, planting his feet in a firm stance. He clasped his hands behind his back.
“Queen Dairdra. Ladies and gentlemen of the Council.” He gave us a brief nod before continuing. “Yesterday, all of our major defense outposts were attacked. There was no provocation on our part for Cyril to mount such an attack. I had one of the field mages send me here as soon as possible to inform you.”
I nodded to him. “Thank you.” I motioned to an unoccupied seat where guests usually sat. “Please, be seated. I would welcome your opinion in this matter.”
He gave me a grim smile. As he took a seat, he answered quietly, “I will give what assistance I can, my Queen.”
“Am I right to assume, General Orin, that you did not contact our ambassador in Cyril?”
The General gave a perfunctory nod, “That is correct, My Lady. I felt it was best to get the news of the attacks to you as soon as possible so that you could decide what to do.”
I nodded. “That is fine, General, but now we need to contact Ambassador Firth to find out what is going on.”
Crypt stepped forward quietly.
I turned my gaze to him, “Crypt, please establish a link with Ambassador Firth.”
He bowed deeply, and then straightened. He muttered a few words under his breath, and the link was established.
Ambassador Firth’s sallow face hung in the air before us.
“My Lady?” He asked.
“Ambassador Firth. I am sure you are aware of the attacks on Argent’s defense outposts.”
He looked around furtively. The room he stood in was empty. What is he worried about? We’re supposed to be at peace with Cyril. Unless this attack was planned out by the royalty of Cyril, he should have no real worries. Something is wrong.
Ambassador Firth looked back at me, his voice lowering as he said, “Yes, My Lady. I am aware of the attacks.”
“And? The meaning of them?”
“They were intentional. There was no mistake in the attack. One of the powerful men behind the throne, if not the King himself, means to….”
A door slammed open and two black robed men entered.
Ambassador Firth whirled around.
He put up his hands, trying to ward off the two men.
“Please, gentlemen, what is the meaning of this?” His face paled, and his hands shook as he held them towards the two men in black.
One of the men smiled.
The occupants of the Council chamber watched the event unfold in horror. The visual link showed us everything.
The stockier of the two black-robed men pulled out a sword.
Ambassador Firth tried to run around them, but the man ran him through without a hesitation.
They stood there watching as he died. They didn’t know about the link yet, apparently.
But that was soon ended. With his last breath, Ambassador Firth choked out just a few words before the men cut him off.
“…They’re coming… Wants you, my Lady…”
A boot crashed into his head and all was still. Crypt terminated the link.
My heart thudded in my chest. My palms were suddenly slick with sweat. Who wants me? What do they want from me?
Is someone trying to take not just my kingdom, but my life too?
Is the whole entire point of this attack to kill me? Or is that just a necessary piece to taking Argent?
Something worse occurred to me then. Cyril… They must have been the ones who tried to kill my mother and did kill my father!
I struggled to control the quiver in my voice. I kept my voice soft to avoid any extra difficulties.
Everyone in the room had seen a terrible thing here, and if I tried to behave as if it didn’t matter, it would make me seem cold and callous. I did not want my Councilors and General to believe I didn’t care about the people serving me. It wasn’t who I was, and it never would be.
“I think, Councilor West, that we can agree that war is our only choice here.”
Councilor West nodded, “I concur, my Queen. But how should we prepare for war?”
“I think we should fortify ourselves first. We are not out to take Cyril’s land, but we will if we must. For now, we strictly defend. Therefore, strong fortifications are our first priority. Would you agree, General?”
“It is exactly what I would have suggested, my Queen.”
“Very well, then. So, is everyone agreed on building defenses?”
It was obvious some of the Council did not understand what I meant. However, Argent had been at peace for nearly two centuries, so this was no shock to me.
One of the councilors stood shakily. She brushed a strand of blond hair out of her face before timidly asking, “Can you please clarify what you mean by ‘build up our defenses’, my Lady?”
Smiling at her to ease her shy reticence, I said, “Certainly, Councilor May. When I say ‘build up our defenses’, I am
suggesting that we send soldiers and supplies to help relieve those in the besieged outposts. The attack has just occurred, and they have not yet breached our defenses. If we send help now, we may yet drive them back. This first attack was a warning to us, a statement of their intents. However, I am also suggesting that we build up the fortification of our smaller, out-skirting defense posts. The more defenseless the outpost, the bigger target they are. If the enemy can breach one quietly and quickly, they can be behind our lines before we know it.” I stood, resting my hands on the carved armrests of the throne.
Councilor May nodded, sitting back down.
The council began to talk and voice questions. It was a slow process, and I answered the questions I needed to, led where I thought I should, and listened to them all. Somewhere along the line, I grew tired of standing, and sat back down.
It passed in a haze for the most part, but finally we agreed.
“Very well. We will fortify our smaller outposts, send aid to those under siege, and start to recruit new soldiers. General, I am leaving training to you. Handle the process as you see fit, but start immediately. I understand that your time is valuable, so pick out as many trustworthy officials as you deem necessary to aid you.”
I stood, signaling that the council meeting was over. Walking to the door, I motioned to Crypt. He had observed my doings and the Council unobtrusively and silently, as was his place. When I had passed out of the door, he followed.
I sighed. I had no way to go back now. I couldn’t run because I had nowhere to flee. I realized that I hadn’t considered running an option even when I had the opportunity, but I had wanted the decision to remain open to me. It was done now. My decision was final. Argent was at war.
Chapter 6: Crypt
We walked down the silent corridors. The only people still in the hallways were the guards, and we only saw them every ten minutes or so as they made their rounds.
“How are you doing, Dairdra?”
She shrugged, her loose, silky hair rolling over her ivory shoulders.
“I don’t know. I’m feeling a bit numb right now.”
I nodded, my face obscured in shadows.
We reached her door. I opened it for her. I was about to turn and go, but she stopped me. Her smooth, cool hand grabbed my wrist, causing tingles to shoot up my arm and over my back.
“Don’t leave me right now. Sit on the balcony with me, Crypt.”
I hesitated. Being seen together at night like this wouldn’t conjure a good image. But then, the guards were the only ones who would see me enter or leave, and they were all faithful, loyal men. Captain Choric had handpicked them to guard the royal family. They would say nothing that would injure their Queen’s reputation.
“Alright.”
I followed her into the chamber, silent. My cloak fluttered black and wraith-like against the silvery white sheen of the moon on her walls.
A warm glow filled my whole body. Dairdra and I were together, and the night was sweet. The weather was fair, and our view of the moon was un-obscured.
I sat down on a wicker chair across from the rose-colored sofa that sat on her white-pillared balcony. She walked out onto the balcony, moonlight shimmering on her black hair and glowing in her pale silver highlights.
She smiled at me, and shook her head. “Why don’t you sit next to me on the sofa, Crypt? It’s chilly out.”
I gave her a searching glance. “It isn’t cold out.” Just the fact that I was here made me feel fuzzy and warm. I wasn’t paying much attention to the weather, and I tended to warm myself with magic from the inside when I was cold.
She raised an eyebrow. “It’s the middle of winter, so, yes, it is.”
I considered the statement for a moment. Actually, it was cold. As she had said, it was the middle of winter, and winters in Argent were harsh, so her statement was valid. I shivered a bit, pulling my cloak tighter around my body.
“Why not put on a cloak or a sweater?”
She gave me a narrow-eyed look.
I got the feeling that she just wanted me to be next to her. Maybe it comforted her.
I got up from the chair and walked over to the sofa. Sitting down and giving her a glance, I raised my eyebrow at her. “Well, I’m sitting on the sofa, which is what you wanted. So come sit next to me.”
She gave me her radiant smile.
I smiled back. Her smile always did that to me. It filled me with excitement and pure bliss. I could never understand what the warm, fuzzy feeling in my stomach meant, but I’d been feeling it since I was fifteen and she first smiled at me.
She walked over to me. Her gait was smooth and rolling as though she was gliding instead of walking. The sway of her slender arms as she walked always enamored me, drawing my gaze to her. Her walk was direct; it wasn’t simpering or delicate like the other girls’ gait were.
She reached the sofa. Turning, she sat down, tucking her feet up underneath her, and smoothing her dress out so that its skirts flowed gently over the sofa’s rim, creating a waterfall of deep blue velvet and creamy white lace.
She leaned against me, resting her head on my shoulder. I almost flinched away; part of me was shocked that she would do such a thing. I had never had any particular reason to believe that she viewed me as anything other than a good friend, but friends didn’t usually curl up on a sofa like we were.
Another part of me, however, whispered that this was good, normal even, for the two of us. I wasn't sure that part of me was being particularly helpful at the moment. “Your Highness, perhaps we shouldn’t…”
She cut me off, a slender finger pressed to my mouth. “Don’t, Crypt.”
“But…”
She rolled her eyes at me, “Just stop talking! You’ll ruin the moment.”
Moment? What is she talking about? I did what she said despite my foreboding. I felt awkward sitting with her like this, but after a few moments, I wrapped my arms around her. It was more comfortable than sitting with them in my lap, and she was shivering anyway.
I had to admit to myself that I liked holding her. She was like a fairy creature, enrapturing those around her with her graceful charm. I realized for the first time that I had been suppressing the truth about my feelings for two years. I’d been enthralled by Dairdra since I first saw her when she was thirteen. Gradually, my admiration had turned into something far deeper. I loved her.
Nonsense! You can’t let yourself love her. Maybe before, but not now. After the truth comes out about your betrayal, she’ll hate you. Loving her now is only going to hurt you later! I hated myself for what I was thinking and feeling. My stomach churned with anxiety.
The entire moonlit scene was too romantic. It was bringing up feelings I wanted to keep buried. Worse yet, it was causing me to wish that I could actually have Dairdra. I hadn’t even realized the extent of my love for her until now. If I let go of my rigid denial of my feelings for her, it would be a raging fire.
I can’t let that happen. I have to keep myself distant from her to protect both of us. I need leave now.
“Dairdra, I shouldn’t be here.”
She gazed at her hands, and then she tilted her face up so that she could see my face. The moonlight lit her exquisite face. I wanted more than anything to kiss her right then, but I couldn’t. Kissing her might cause me to waver on my decision to shove all passion for her aside. It could destroy everything.
It turned out I didn’t get an option.
“Crypt?” Dairdra whispered.
“What?”
She took a deep breath, and then she gave me a quick, hesitant kiss full on the mouth. I jerked back, breathing hard. My heart raced.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” I said darkly.
A blush rose to her ivory cheeks. “I know.” She gazed at her hands, fiddling with a spray of lace on her dress. “You might not feel that way about me, and it was wrong of me to do that. Please, don’t feel any obligation to feel that way about me if you don’t. We can be just friends if you want.
”
I gave her a bemused smile.
Her face went crimson. “I know, I was awful, and I never should’ve done that. Just…Forget I ever kissed you.”
I laughed. “I will not! And you weren’t awful.”
She gazed at me, cheeks flaming. “I… You yanked away, so I thought…”
Her gaze fell to her lap, and her shimmering veil of silken black hair fell over her bare shoulders. She had excited something within me that I had kept buried for too long. Suddenly I didn’t care what happened. I wanted her to know I loved her. Even if we might never marry or have a family together, I wanted her to know that I cared. That she wasn’t alone in her love for me. Maybe, just maybe, if I could find a way to get my sister to safety, I could avoid betraying her.
Gently, I cupped her chin in my hand. I lifted her face to mine and kissed her fearlessly. She didn’t yank away like I had thought she would. Instead, she returned the kiss, wrapping her arms around my neck. I broke away from her, breathless. I felt giddy as though I was drunk.
“I should really go,” I whispered.
“Don’t. Not yet. Let’s stay and look at the stars for a little while. I’ll have nightmares tonight, at any rate. I’d like to enjoy this little bit of time with you before I have to deal with that.” She was breathing hard, and her heart thumped rapidly as she leaned against me.
“Why?” I asked suddenly.
She looked up at me, sea-blue eyes glittering. “Why what?”
“You’ve never indicated that you felt that way about me before. So why show it now?”
She ducked her head, black tresses covering her face so I couldn’t see it. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve been hiding it for months on end, and I haven’t admitted it to myself. I buried it without even realizing it, and now… Well, everything’s been so traumatic, and I had to be honest with myself, Crypt. Every single feeling I’ve ever hidden concerning you suddenly started crashing into me tonight when we were coming back to my room. I couldn’t handle it. It was like… it was an overload of feelings! I had to do something with it, let you know how I felt. Not telling you… It felt like I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you…” She trailed off.
In Darkness Lost Page 4