by Krista Cairn
Sighing, she consciously chose one of her own memories. A happy one. It was the only way to sleep. She avoided thinking about Mitch, about when he made her flare up in the hotel room. Way to phrase it, she chuckled.
Actually, that flare hurt. A lot. Like when your leg wakes up from having restricted circulation, but amplified tenfold.
The memory she chose was of Neil. Often it was Neil. He stood against all that was dark as her light-hearted, blond, always-smiling best friend. He was from before the dark times. Before Rene and Carol agreed to help.
A sudden rapping on her back door woke her up. It was the middle of the night. Who would it be?
Sitting straight up in bed, she hoped she was dreaming. The message earlier made her cautious but she was untrackable. Nightmares of her previous life should not follow her here, right?
She listened carefully. When someone knocked again, she slipped into her housecoat and snuck through the darkness to the back door.
There was no one she knew in this world who crept around dark alleys and backyards, who knocked on back doors. She peered through a side window, hoping to see who was there. A voice called out, soft and low, desperate.
“Dylan, are you home?” The voice sounded like Neil. He wouldn’t know she goes by Simone now. She must be dreaming, she decided. She was about to go back to bed when he knocked again. Heart hammering in her chest, she unlocked the door.
Chapter 5 // I’m Not
As she stared at the figure in the moonlight on her porch, she couldn't believe her eyes. It was Neil. But at the same time, not Neil. The last eighteen months had not been kind to him. He looked down at her and his eyes seemed slightly glazed. He looked exhausted. Dehydrated, half-starved, and on his way to death's door. But it was him. It was her best friend, Neil.
He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. She almost couldn't breathe, his grip was so fierce, but there was no way she would be the first to step back. She thought he’d moved on when he stopped answering her calls, so what was this? But now, after what Rene had found out, she knew better.
"Come inside." Her voice cracked, but she was happy she could talk at all.
He followed her to the couch and within a minute he was asleep. As she got a better look at him, pain gripped her entire midsection. He was in rough shape. Who had done this to him? Reaching out, she touched his hair, his face. His skin was dry. His lips were cracked.
She got a glass of water from the kitchen and tapped him on the shoulder.
“Drink. It’s water.” She wanted to get him something that was designed to combat dehydration. Water was good, but he needed something with electrolytes in it.
He took a sip, then seemed to wilt again. He reached out and took one of her hands.
“I’m sleepy more than anything. Sit." He tugged. When she did, he put the cup down and, holding both of her hands, he leaned on her shoulder, eyes shut.
Neither of them would get proper sleep like this. It was uncomfortable.
“We can talk in the morning,” she said. “You need a bed.”
His smell made her hesitate. He should shower before using her favourite, intentionally shopped-for blanket and sheets. A change of clothes would have to do, but she didn’t have anything that would fit him … or did she? She rummaged through her dresser in the half-dark, feeling around for oversized anything, and all she had were a couple T-shirts.
She pulled one out and gave it to him.
“This might be more comfortable to sleep in.”
He took it and stripped his shirt off, tossing it into a corner. “Burn that,” he said as he pulled hers on and lay back on the bed, curled up.
He might be a little confused about where he was when he woke up, but that would pass when he saw some of the things in her room. She didn’t have much, but all of it was sentimental.
Simone settled in on the couch, perplexed by the coincidence of what was happening.
She’d recently had a few dreams about Neil, nightmares actually, then suddenly he showed up looking like he’d gone through every one of them in real life. What would tonight’s dreams be like? She’d better put a blanket under the couch, in case she fell through it in her sleep again.
The next morning, she was a little startled to look down and see Neil lying, wrapped in blankets, on the floor next to her. When did he get back? Not that it mattered. It was sometime last night. She hated forgetting things while she slept. She’d never figured that out. She looked around to see if she’d left herself any notes but the tables were clear.
That’s when she spotted her unexpectedly dismantled cellphone. Neil must have done that.
As she lay there looking at him, she couldn’t help smiling. Sure, he looked like death warmed over, but she could fix that. She pushed his bangs back off his forehead. What had the past eighteen months been like for him, to bring him back here looking like this?
She reached for her cell phone, needing to message Rene. And call work. She would need a day or two off. She put the battery back in.
Neil roused, smiling up at her. “I almost thought I was dreaming.”
“Me too.” She gave a light smile as she stood up. “Let’s get some breakfast.” She had to get some meat back on his bones. He was scary like this. “Are you ill?” She blurted, then covered her mouth.
“I’m fine.” He sat up. “Hungry, but fine. Can we go to that breakfast place down on Fulton Street?”
She knew which one he meant. “I know a place that’s closer and still delicious.” She meant Hot Crossed Coffee, Carol’s café.
But he needed different clothes.
“Um… do you have a suitcase or anything?” she asked, suspecting not.
He shook his head.
Wow, he really did make a run for it, so to speak. Rene’s information was turning out accurate. As usual.
“There’s food here, but we should get more groceries… if you’re staying.” She was nervous again at the thought. Would he stay here? And how did he find where she lived? Oh right. Rene. He knew she she’d leave to find him if he stayed missing.
“Help yourself to the left over pizza in the fridge. You can have a shower while I wash your clothes.”
As he stood, he looked a lot healthier in the daylight. He was ragged, and hairy, though his hair was tied back. There were a few day-old bruises too.
They needed to shop. He did.
“I’m guessing they didn’t pay you for your work out there.”
He shook his head. “The price of education.”
She sighed. Hopefully Rene won’t complain about a few extra charges on his card.
She’d pay him back. She should tell their friends he was here, tell Carol. She picked her cellphone up. But no. She wanted him to herself, at least for the day. That wasn’t too much to ask, right?
Her phone beeped, indicating new text messages but he eased it out of her hand and set it face down on the table. He was right. Stupid habit to check that thing constantly, given the circumstances.
Neil stepped out of the bathroom looking like a new man. He’d tied the housecoat around his waist, but was essentially shirtless. She looked away but not before noticing his hair was down to his shoulder-blades when loose, and he was even more muscular than she’d thought. He could probably handle himself well in a fight. His hair had a bit of a wave to it at that length.
She passed him a glass of orange juice, trying not to look. His shirtless state made her feel a bit awkward. Her boundaries had changed. Maybe his had as well.
He was barefoot.
“Slippers.” She pointed to a closet and went to get him one of her oversized t-shirts.
“What’s your job now?” he asked.
“Just a couple part time things. A café and a hotel. Oh, and apparently I’m a professional stalker.”
He laughed. “Really?”
“I do errands for a private detective. Photography, mostly.” She tossed the shirt at him. No way was she going to remin
d him about her ‘talent’. “Put it on.”
“Ah, Rene. I wondered who passed me the note with your address. I guess that was him.” His face was blank as pulled the shirt on. “You work nearby?”
She nodded, ignoring the odd undercurrent when Rene’s name came up. “Why drive when you can walk?”
He continued his inspection of her while sipping the juice.
“Your hair is short,” he said.
She chuckled. “And yours isn’t. It’s like we traded or something.”
“Ya.”
He came over to sit with her at the kitchen table.
“Are you skipping work because of me?” he asked.
“Wish I could. There’s been a murder. I have to do some of that stalking I mentioned.
You could come along, be a prop.”
“Oh, like pretend we’re not standing and staring, you taking pictures. That sort of thing? Sure.”
“And we need to shop. How long are you staying?”
He paused, not making eye contact. “That’s up to you. How long can I?”
“My home is your home.” She laughed, relieved.
He smiled again and suddenly she needed to hold him. Instead she sat, watching his smile, seeing how much better he looked now, in the morning light, after sleep, and a shower and food. He’d always been more like an addiction than a best friend, and now The Twins were back together. Life could be good again.
“You should go to work today. People act nice. They say they understand, but they don’t,” he said.
“I will. That’s where I’m feeding you.”
“I think I want to talk to someone at the college about attending. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. I want to see what my options are.”
The buzzer on the clothes dryer sounded.
“Not a bad plan,” she agreed, not listening. Pulling his clothes out, she realized they were almost unwearable. Tattered. The thought made her angry. He’d never wanted to look ratty, so he was careful. One hole in any location on any item and it was trash unless she spotted it first and stitched it up behind his back.
Well, she had another oversize t-shirt she’d been using as pajamas that he’d fit. His jeans and other items would be burned right after they shopped for new ones. Symbolic, she’d say. He’d like that.
“Get changed. I have to find something.” Simone tossed him the clothes, including a large jacket she’d found in the back of a closet. At least his clothes habit hadn’t changed.
She went and got her cellphone, sticking it in the back pocket of her jeans. She’d check messages later. Pacing, she waited, thinking about which parts of her life needed to change to accommodate him, like where he’d sleep, since he was staying.
This was a one bedroom apartment and they were close, but never ‘that’ close.
Maybe she should move to a place with two bedrooms? No, she liked it here. Good neighbours, good location, and good rent. And who knew how long he’d stay, really?
At least she could get a mattress delivered so he had somewhere comfortable to sleep. And a room divider. Then they’d have some privacy. When she returned to the living room, he was ready. She frowned. He still looked ragged. He needed to shave. She shook her head. Let the man eat first. Then overhaul.
“Ready?” She asked, a little embarrassed by her rough assessment. He must know she’d checked him over.
He nodded. She relaxed a bit. As they stepped outside, the door locked behind them and he took hold of one of her hands. Her heart jumped but she didn’t pull away. She looked up to see what his expression said, but he just smiled.
“I should have done this a long time ago.” He squeezed her hand lightly.
His touch was unexpected but normal. Warm. But still she balked.
“We need time to get to know each other again. Things have… happened. We’ve both changed,” she said.
His smile fell but his grip tightened. “You have a boyfriend.”
She hesitated. “There is no one I think of that way.”
“Ah.” He didn’t let go.
“Let’s just take it slow, okay? Neither of us are thinking clearly right now.”
He nodded and started to let her hand go. She gave his hand a sympathetic squeeze before letting go. She didn’t want to be in that kind of relationship, but couldn’t say it aloud.
It made her less normal than she already was. She still wanted friends. Needed friends.
Who didn’t, really?
Neil laughed. “Okay. Slow,” he said. “But not back at the beginning.”
“Slow.” She knew her cheeks went fire engine red, but what could she do? To be honest, when she thought of Neil with someone, she thought Karen would be a better match.
She was just crazy enough to keep him interested for life. “I need to talk to Rene about a job today.” She didn’t want to explain her loyalty to Rene. Not yet. “He’s a friend of Carol’s, the owner of the cafe where I work.”
He nodded but stayed quiet. This time it felt odd.
When her cellphone rang she hesitated then checked caller ID. Rene.
“And, it’s Rene,” she chuckled. “I need to take this.”
She almost missed the dark look that flitted across Neil’s face as she let go of his hand, but chose to ignore it.
“Hey, Rene. What’s up?”
“Uh, remember that ‘later’ thing I said we should talk about?”
“I thought that was the hotel thing. I’m kind of busy.”
“If it wasn’t important -”
“I know, I know, you would have texted.” She rolled her eyes. “Fine. Where do I go?”
It was good for him to officially meet Rene now. And Carol. But Mitch… what would Neil think of him? How do you explain that little bit of recent history? You don’t, she decided.
She didn’t know if Neil remembered her mutation, but it was mild when he left. She didn’t want him fearing her.
“Meet me at the café. Bring your friend.”
“Neil? Why?”
“I’d like to meet him. And that’s a pretty ancient cellphone. What is it, army surplus?”
She paused, not sure what to make of that. “It’s just a phone.”
“Uh, okay. We were just walking that way. See you in a few minutes.”
She put her phone back in her pocket and smiled at Neil.
“Nothing to worry about.” Was she reassuring herself, or him?
“I’m not worried.” He shrugged. “But what does he want? Do you usually drop everything when he calls?”
Simone snorted. “Drop everything? I don’t think so.”
He shrugged again. It was body-code for something, but she wasn’t quite sure what yet.
“Don’t worry. You’ll like him.” She reached over and took his hand again. “If you don’t like him, I won’t try to make you.”
Neil chuckled at that. “You know me - I like everyone. Well, almost everyone.”
“Would you like me to send him after your uncle? He is a retired cop, you know.”
Neil’s step faltered. “How did you find out? How much do you know?”
It was Simone’s turn to shrug. “I guess I talk about you too much. People pass me information when they find out things about you. I didn’t actually hear anything until last week.”
As they walked in, Simone spotted Mitch in what was apparently going to be his usual booth. She dropped Neil’s hand and waved to Carol.
“Hey, Carol. I want you to meet someone.” She smiled up at Neil.
“This is my best friend through all the parts of my life that mattered, until he had to go away to college.” That came off as a bit of good-natured ribbing, she hoped. “He’s going to try college here instead.”
“Oh, you’re the young man she keeps talking about then. Come over so I can meet you properly.” Carol held out her hand but when he went to shake it, she pulled him to the counter-edge and took his face in both hands. Turning his face this way and that, she nodded. Starin
g him in the eyes, she smiled. “Eyes are clear, responses seem good, skin is good. I approve.”
Simone chuckled. “Well then. No need for a doctor now, is there.”
“Heeyyy,” Carol waved her hands finger forward at Simone. “The skin, the eyes, the nervous system… they tell us what we should be paying attention. Remember the cat with yellowish skin last week? Liver trouble. Had to force feed it to get it back on track. Her constipation was horrific, but she’s doing well now.”
Simone doubted she met a cat last week, but it was possible.
“Ah, right.” She nodded and glanced over her shoulder, wondering if it sounded crazy to Mitch, or not. She should introduce Neil to him. They’d be seeing each other around.
They may as well be friends. Later. Yes, later would be better. “Can we get a couple coffee and probably five breakfast biscuits?”
“Sure sweetie. Pick a table.” Carol turned away.
They headed toward Mitch but Simone hesitated to go past. It would be rude, right?
She sat down at the table closest to the counter, telling herself she was just saving Carol time. As she sat, Mitch made eye contact. He was curious, but that was all. She nodded to him, with a half-smile.
“So, who’s the guy you keep making faces at?” Neil said, reaching out for the coffee Carol held.
“Who, Mitch? He’s new to the neighbourhood. Looking for his missing sister. I told him I’d help.”
“Oh geez, Dylan. And all you do is nod at him? We should sit there. Unless he’s the anti-social type.”
“Shhh.” She put her index finger over her lips. She leaned forward to whisper. “They call me Simone here, okay?”
He frowned. “I’m guessing there’s a story in that.”
“Later, okay?” She started to fidget. She should have prepped him before they went out. So many things could go sideways, just because he was the friendly sort. She hoped Mitch was good at keeping a secret, because when Neil left, her fading was just that - a bit of fading now and then. She stayed solid.
She looked at Neil, busily stuffing his face. Relax. Just relax. You’ll get a chance to explain things later.
Just then Karen came in, spotted Simone and Neil, and walked toward them with a bit of a lift to her step. She had covered most of her tattoos for work, but the bright red streak down her shoulder-length brown hair made up for it. Her eyes seemed to sparkle as she looked Neil over. She dropped down in the chair opposite him and looked at Simone.