by Eden Robins
Always so practical, always so rational, always so careful, Sabrina had lost it. The sobs had escaped her lips before she could stop them. They shook her whole body, making her shoulders shake violently. She hadn’t been able to control herself.
Then Eric had reached out to her.
Despite feeling like a wounded animal, she’d known at some level that she couldn’t let him touch her. If he did, she would have no shame. She would beg and plead with him to stay with her. And that was a place she didn’t want to go. So with her last shred of dignity, she’d jerked away, backed through her front door and slammed it closed in his face.
The effort had cost her.
Her knees had given way beneath her and she’d slid down the door onto the floor. Curling up into the fetal position, she’d let the pain and emptiness overwhelm her. She cried so hard it became difficult to breathe, and soon she’d started hiccupping. Exhausted, she’d fallen asleep on the floor of her entryway. When she woke up the next morning, confused and stiff, everything had come crashing back.
And each day after that he was the first thing on her mind when she woke up and the last person she thought of when she went to bed. Sabrina had felt like throwing up almost every day for a month. Each morning, waking to the reality of not having Eric in her life churned her stomach. She’d lost so much weight that her friends started making concerned comments. She’d cried every day for the first three months. The next three were slightly better but the tears still came at the least expected moments.
Life had gone on. But it all became gray and numb, except for the pain and emptiness. That remained vividly clear to her as it ate away at her each day. After six months, she had tried dating again, but it had been a disaster. She had compared everyone to Eric, and they all came up short. She had realized that she still wasn’t ready to date.
And now, two years later, when she had finally gotten over him, the bastard had the nerve to show up in her life again.
As she pulled into her garage, she was amazed yet again at the way life twisted and turned in such unexpected ways. In this case, it wasn’t a twist she was happy about. Nevertheless, it still was incredible how things often turned out so different from what you expect.
Now she just had to figure out how to get Eric out of her life. It wasn’t until she walked into her house that it really hit her. The anger evaporated almost immediately. Unfortunately it was replaced with pain. The anger was so much easier to handle. She wanted it back, but tears slipped down her face as sadness took over.
She was so stupid. Pitiful and pathetic actually. Crying over a man she hadn’t seen in two years. A man who didn’t deserve her tears. He was heartless and cold, and in the end had treated her badly. She needed to remember that. But suddenly it wasn’t so easy. Sitting down on her couch, she recalled the intimate moments they had spent talking and touching there.
Closing her eyes, she tried to clear her thoughts. She needed to get him out of her mind. She needed to have a plan. Breathe in deeply, hold it, release. Breathe in again, release. She repeated her breathing exercises several time before she started to feel better. Opening her eyes, she wiped away the tears and felt more focused.
She could do this, she was over Eric. She could do this, she was over Eric. She could do—
The doorbell rang, interrupting her thoughts.
Getting up, she didn’t bother wiping her face before answering. It was probably just another sales person from the strip mall down the street anyway. Since its grand opening, solicitors had been coming by, dropping off coupons and telling folks about the new stores. She didn’t need to clean up to tell them she wasn’t interested.
Opening the door wide, she realized three things right away.
It wasn’t a sales person.
It was Eric.
And she was so not over him.
He wasn’t over her.
Eric realized it suddenly, like lightning striking. As Sabrina drove away, it crashed into him. He still had feelings for her. They hadn’t faded in the time they had spent apart. If anything, their reunion made him realize how much he missed being with her.
And as her car’s back lights faded and eventually disappeared, he knew what he wanted to do.
“I’ll talk to you later, man. Thanks for helping me out with this,” Eric said after he and Jason had cleaned up the broken glass from their staged attack.
“No problem,” Jason said with an arrogant grin. “If you need me to, uh, attack your woman again any time in the future it will be my pleasure.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I think I’ll be able to handle Sabrina from here on out.”
“I don’t know, man. I have a feeling she’s going to be a lot to handle,” Jason said cryptically.
“I have no worries about that,” Eric assured him arrogantly. “I know just how to handle Sabrina.”
Jason grinned and snorted, as if he were trying hard not to laugh.
“Well, uh, good luck with that. Let me know how things turn out. In the meantime, my offer still stands. If you need me, let me know.”
Eric frowned as he watched Jason head to his own car. What was up with that? It was as if Jason knew something about Sabrina he didn’t. But that was impossible. He had just met her. The guy must just be playing with his head.
Jason was known to do that. Most gargoyles he knew were serious, pensive people, keeping to their own kind as much as possible. Jason was different. He had quite a sense of humor. He was one of the pranksters of their group. If he could play a joke on you, he would.
Getting in his own car, Eric drove immediately to Sabrina’s house. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest choice, but he would follow his instincts. He had always been able to trust them in the past, surely now would be no different.
But as Sabrina opened her front door and he saw the desolation in her eyes, and her cheeks still wet with tears, he wondered at his decision. Her tears ripped into his heart sharper than any dragon’s claw ever would. Stepping through the doorway, he slammed the door behind him and gathered her into his arms.
Sabrina didn’t resist as he pulled her close against his chest. He heard her soft sniffles and felt her tears soak his shirt. Her shoulders shook as her sobs grew louder, and the sound stabbed at him mercilessly. Gently releasing the clip that was holding her hair up, he ran his fingers through her silky midnight-black tresses. Speaking softly, he tried to soothe her with his words and touch.
Her sobs eventually ceased, but Sabrina didn’t pull away. Resting his chin on her head, he tried not to think about how good it felt to have her in his arms again. He remembered all the times they’d just held each other. That in itself had given him intense pleasure.
As if she finally realized what she was doing, Sabrina slowly pulled away from him.
“Well, that was pathetic, wasn’t it?” she asked, angrily swiping the tears from her cheeks. “Did that give you satisfaction, Eric? Did you enjoy seeing my weakness?”
She continued putting space between them until she backed against her couch. Only then did she fold her arms across her chest and raise her chin proudly. Her eyes flared with challenge, daring him.
“Well?”
She was so beautiful. Even with her hair tousled, eyes red and swollen and nose pink, she was incredible.
“Well what, Sabrina?” he asked mockingly after swallowing the lump in his throat. “Wasn’t that always your concern? The fact that I might see behind the armor you always keep up? That I might see the real woman behind the shell and not think she’s enough? Isn’t that why, during the course of our relationship, you never really let me in, gatita? Maybe you thought I couldn’t tell that you were holding back, but I could. I tried to break through that wall. I tried again and again, but every time I got close, you’d back away and rebuild it.”
He could tell she didn’t like what he was saying. Her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared.
“Go to hell, Eric.”
“Been there, done that,” he answered sa
rcastically. “Any other orders, or are you done telling me what to do this evening?”
“No, I’m not done. How about this for an order? Get the hell out. Get out of my house, now.”
“I’ll be happy to, as soon as you and I talk.”
“I’m too tired. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“No, we’ll talk now.”
And with that, he strode forward until he stood mere inches from Sabrina. Though she was tall, he was taller. A fact not lost on him as she tipped her chin up to meet his stare. Her face was raised, eyes meeting his, and her lips were slightly parted. It was too much. He couldn’t resist her any more than he could stop breathing.
Her gaze was startled as he lowered his head to hers. Good, he had her off balance. Maybe she would let him kiss her.
As his mouth met hers, he groaned. Her lips were soft and yielding, clinging to his as if she couldn’t get enough. He worshipped their delicate softness for several seconds before sucking lightly on her full bottom lip. Sabrina moaned as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. His body reacted the way it always did whenever she was close to him. That reaction was more than evident as it pressed against her stomach.
Sabrina must have felt it. She stiffened and slid from between the couch and him. Walking around it, she sat down in the loveseat then looked up and met his stare. Her face held none of the dreamy quality it did moments before when he kissed her. She was all serious business again. Eric wanted to make her lose that expression. He wanted to see her lost in passion, as desperate for his touch as he was for hers. He was tempted to kiss her again but held himself in check, barely.
“Is that what you call talking, Eric?” she asked in a bedroom voice, husky, deep and sexy.
The sound of it slid sensuously over him, as if she had physically touched him. Tamping down his intense hunger for her, he tried to focus on her words and on what he needed to say.
“No. That was what I call getting your attention. And from the way you reacted, gatita, it most definitely worked.”
Sabrina’s eyes blazed and she jumped to her feet.
“I told you not to call me—”
“I know what you told me, Sabrina. But I really don’t give a damn. You are what you are to me. You will always be my gatita. Deal with it.”
Moving forward, Eric grasped the back of the couch. He had to hold on to something or he was going to lose it. The way her eyes lit with anger, her cheeks flushed red and her chest heaved with agitation…it brought her to life. Sabrina was passion personified and it pulled at him relentlessly. That was one of the reasons he’d had to end things between them. She had made him feel too much. And he had learned long ago that it was better to control your emotions than to let them control you.
“I will not deal with it, Eric,” Sabrina said, placing her hands on her hips and stomping her foot in a way that reminded him of a little girl. “It’s enough that you invade my life again, but don’t expect me to just sit back and act like everything is okay between us. You should know better than that. I won’t allow it. I’m calling Vlad.”
Sabrina had had enough.
She crossed the room to where the phone sat on a side table and picked up the receiver. She never got to dial Vlad’s number. Eric came up behind her, placed an arm around her waist and pulled her against him. Reaching around her, he gently took the phone from her hand and placed it back on the cradle.
She was too shocked to resist. The feel of his hardness pressed against her bottom sent shards of lust flying through her. And as he drew closer to put the phone down, she groaned aloud. The feel of his desire sent her libido skyrocketing even higher.
When he placed his mouth by her ear and whispered, she lost the ability to breathe. “You and I know what this is all about, gatita. It’s not about nicknames. It’s not about me telling you what to do. It’s about this.”
He slowly, sensuously rubbed his cock against her bottom, up and down over her crease. She leaned her head back against his shoulder and moaned aloud. And that was that. She was his for the taking. She knew it, and he knew it.
He slid his free hand up from her waist to her stomach and still higher. Her breath caught in her throat. Closing her eyes, she tried to get herself back under control. It was no use. The feel of him pressed against her, the feel of his fingers skimming up her shirt, made her shiver with need. Just a little farther and he would touch her breasts. She knew she would go wild if he did.
Would he do it?
He didn’t. He stopped just below her bra. But before she could decide whether or not she was happy about it, he slid his hand back down over her quivering stomach toward her hips.
“This is what it’s about. This connection between us. It can’t be denied by either of us. When we try to deny it, we bicker and argue because it has to go somewhere. And if it doesn’t go here,” he explained, cupping his hand over her womanhood, “then we use anger instead.”
Sabrina’s eyes flew open and she gasped. The heat of his hand penetrated her clothing. The slight pressure struck a deep chord in her. She felt herself grow wet with need. The thought of losing herself in his touch was so appealing.
No! She couldn’t do this.
She couldn’t go back to the way it was. She couldn’t go back to needing him the way she had. The way she had craved to be near him, talk with him, touch him. She wouldn’t let herself go back to the chaos, confusion and pain he had caused in her life.
She was stronger now. She was more confident in herself. She didn’t need Eric the way she once had. She didn’t have to have him in her life. She could be on her own.
He released her as she pulled out of his arms. Spinning around, she slapped him, hard, across the face.
“Don’t ever touch me again. You lost that right two years ago, you bastard. By your own choice, remember? You chose to leave me.”
Eric didn’t react. His hands dropped to his sides. His expression remained unreadable as he stared silently at her. He didn’t even try to deny anything she said. Didn’t even defend himself.
That made her angry.
Eric hadn’t changed. He still kept everything inside, so determined to be in control at all times. He had been willing to give up their relationship for that control. Obviously it still was a major issue in his life. Well, he could just take that steel-willed self-control and let it keep him warm at night, because she sure as hell wasn’t going to be there.
“I want you to leave, now. You, Vlad and I can talk more tomorrow. I’ll stop by Sundown Security in the evening. I should be done fairly early.”
Eric looked like he was about to argue with her.
Sabrina held up a hand to stop him.
“No. Don’t say anything. You’ve said enough. You may be in charge of my protection, but you’re not in charge of me. I’ll meet you tomorrow night. In the meantime, I’ll make sure to take all the necessary precautions, including keeping a security guard with me whenever I’m entering or leaving a building. That’ll have to be good enough for now.”
Eric shook his head slowly back and forth.
“No, it’s not good enough. I’ll see you tomorrow night, but it’s going to be me walking you to your car, not a campus security guard. Then we’ll go to the agency and bring up your issues with Vlad. Maybe he’ll be able to talk some sense into you.”
Sabrina didn’t like his suggestion, so she started to tell him. “I don’t think—”
This time it was his turn to hold up his hand.
“No. We either do it my way, or I stay here the rest of the night trying to convince you,” he said with a grin that was anything but friendly. It was more like a wolf baring its fangs as a warning. And she knew what that warning was. He wasn’t giving in. On this issue she would have to yield. She had seen that look before on Eric’s face, and more often than not he got his way.
Sabrina gritted her teeth in frustration.
“Do you always have to be such a damn bully?”
Eric’s gri
n spread into little more of a smile, but his eyes turned sad.
“Only with you, Sabrina. Only with you.”
She didn’t know what he meant by that, but she knew she had lost this particular battle. She would concede to his words because it was the only way to get him out of her house.
“Whatever, Eric. Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow tonight in my office at around six thirty. I should be done by then. Now would you just leave?”
She really needed him to go. This emotional encounter was wearing on her.
“Gladly,” he said with a slight bow. Sabrina remembered how he sometimes did things like that. Old-fashioned things that you wouldn’t see most men do today. Unfortunately, it only added to his appeal.
She followed him to her front door.
Walking out, he shot over his shoulder, “Good night, little cat. Sleep well. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.”
The mockery in his voice was obvious.
Sabrina’s only response was to slam the front door so hard the walls shook.
Chapter Three
“I just can’t deal with him, Ruben. He comes back into my life after dumping me two years ago, and now expects me to just welcome him with open arms. What’s up with that?” Sabrina asked, slowly sipping her iced tea.
“Darlin’, if I knew the minds of men do you think I’d be in the predicament that I’m in now? I can’t even get Arturo to talk to me, and we were together for six months,” her friend sighed dramatically and took another swig of beer.
Sabrina had called Ruben after Eric left her house last night. She had cried with him for a good half hour before getting herself under control. They had agreed to meet the next day for lunch at Six Peaks, one of the many microbreweries in Tempe close to the university. They had a great menu and a lovely patio with misters, perfect for friends to sit and chat. She had needed to talk to someone about Eric. It was just too confusing. And her childhood friend was the perfect sounding board.
“Uh, excuse me, Ruben, but you are a man. So I would think you’d know their minds pretty well. Secondly, you know why Arturo isn’t talking to you. He wants more of a commitment and you won’t give him that, remember?” Sabrina reminded him.