by Eden Robins
It was over between them. He would accept that. He had to accept it.
Sabrina was over him. She had to be. She had to accept that. So why did she still respond so strongly as she watched Eric approach her podium at the end of her last class? Why did the way he moved fascinate her to the point that she lost track of the question her student had been asking her? And why was it when he was close enough to touch, she could almost feel the heat emanating from him, as if their skin was actually in contact, even though they stood a few feet away from each other?
The questions stayed in her mind as she finished working in her office the remainder of the day. Eric sat just outside her door, making some phone calls and talking to various campus security personnel.
Just as she was finishing up the last of her grading, Eric burst into her room, slamming the door behind him. The look on his face was stormy, to say the least. And his jaw clenched and unclenched with effort as if he were trying not to do something that he really, really wanted to do. He gripped the edge of her desk, leaned forward and narrowed his eyes accusingly at her.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Sabrina’s heart skipped a beat. Had he found out? But how? How could he know? It wasn’t possible. She had become adept at hiding her secret, even from her closest friends and associates. Eric couldn’t have figured it out. Could he?
Swallowing her fear, she tried to appear calm as she spoke.
“W-why didn’t I tell you what?”
Her words seemed to anger him even more. Pushing away from the desk, he walked around it and loomed over her. He turned her seat toward him, gripping the armrests on each side, and leaned close. He stood directly over her, and she had no room to maneuver.
Sabrina wanted to stand up. She wanted to face Eric in a less vulnerable position for whatever he was accusing her of. If it was what she thought it was, she would need to be standing. But she couldn’t move. Fear engulfed her. What if he had discovered the truth about her? Her knees felt weak. Struggling to keep it together, she leaned her head back, lifted her chin proudly and glared into his eyes.
“What the hell are you talking about, Eric?”
Eric didn’t answer at first. Instead his gaze ran over each of her facial features, lingering just long enough that she started to feel warm. First her mouth, then her nose, then ever so slowly up to her eyes. He moved even closer, so close that she could have counted each and every one of his eyelashes if she had wanted to. It was then that she noticed the look in his golden stare had changed. Instead of anger, she saw concern and worry.
That soothed her somewhat, taking the edge off her frayed nerves.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be doing off-campus appearances and lectures, Sabrina?” he asked. “There was nothing in your schedule about this, and I don’t recall you mentioning it when we discussed your book.”
This time his words were little more than a whisper.
Sabrina couldn’t answer him at first. So that’s what all this was about? Relief flooded through her and her body slowly relaxed. The energy that had begun building inside her settled down slowly, leaving her weak but calm.
Then she remembered Eric’s question. He was still waiting for an answer.
“I hadn’t really thought about it,” she answered honestly. “I scheduled them with a publicist quite a while ago to coincide with my book’s release. A lot has changed since then.”
“Publicist?” Eric asked raising an eyebrow and focusing on this new bit of information.
Sabrina nodded her head.
“Yes, I hired her after my book sold to help me get some extra PR and hype going for its release.”
“There’s nothing in your file about this, Sabrina,” he said disapprovingly. “And again, during our discussion about your book the other night, you mentioned nothing of this.”
Sabrina shrugged.
“I guess Dr. Dow forgot to include that when Vlad and he talked, and frankly, I had completely forgotten about hiring a PR person until today. As a matter of fact, I just got a call right after lunch from my publicist reminding me of my upcoming public appearances,” she explained. “I guess with everything going on, it just slipped my mind.”
Eric studied her a moment longer, his eyes staring deeply into hers. She lost herself in their golden depths once again. Gold became her world as he moved closer and touched his lips to hers. Her eyes closed the minute they made contact and Eric groaned. Sabrina felt the sound rumble against her lips and she couldn’t help moaning back in response. His lips felt so good pressed against hers. She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his mouth.
Then he pulled away abruptly, as if suddenly realizing what he was doing. Her eyes remained closed and her mouth slightly parted, as if she couldn’t wake from the sensuous dream his kisses had created. Eric gave her another hard, quick kiss. Somehow that pulled her back to reality. Opening her eyes, she found his face still close to hers. He was studying her features again, but soon his gaze returned to hers.
“You’re so beautiful.”
Sabrina was at a loss for words. With him looking at her that way, all the memories of their time together came crashing back to her. The fun, the talking and the touching, it all ran through her mind like a river flooding her with emotion. Then she remembered the end. The painful, awful end—and the river stopped. It was dammed up and put away. In its place was a wall of anger.
Pushing on his chest to move him back, she stood up. He took a few steps backward, giving her space.
“As interesting as it is hearing about how much you like the way I look, is that really the issue at this point?” she asked, knowing that she was being purposefully cold and hurtful.
But she had to be. Her heart had been hurt badly, and the wall she had erected around it was her only defense from going through that pain again. Never again.
Eric’s face changed. The warmth she had glimpsed in his eyes turned cold. His expression transformed to granite. His clenching jaw was the only indicator that all was not calm inside.
“No. The issue is that I didn’t do my job properly. I should have made sure I knew all the facts. That’s something I take full responsibility for. But now that I know, you must realize that there is no way I’m going to allow you to do those off-campus lectures and public appearances.”
Sabrina had enough. He would not tell her what to do. She stepped close to him, almost nose to nose, and met his gaze head-on. “Wanna bet?”
Eric was back in her face faster than he could say the word “No”.
And he didn’t stop there. Instead, he wrapped his hands around her waist and lifted her off her feet. Sabrina frantically grabbed his shoulder to steady herself.
“What are you doing? Put me down!”
Eric ignored her protests as he pushed her chair away with his foot, turned around and sat her down on top of her desk. Holding her waist to keep her in place, he moved closer, sliding between her legs, and brought himself flush against her. Sabrina gasped at the sudden contact. His hard chest felt so right against her softness. Her nipples tingled and tightened.
Eric released her waist and placed his hands gently on either side of her face, tilting her head back so that she was forced to meet his gaze. His intense stare was all alpha male, giving absolutely no quarter.
“Yeah, Sabrina, I’ll make that bet,” he said arrogantly. “You will do what I tell you to do on this issue. Security is my world. I’m the expert, I’m the one with the experience and I’m the one who is trying to protect you. Do you understand?”
As he spoke, his gaze lowered to her lips. His jaw tightened as if he was angry about something, but then he began gently rubbing his thumb back and forth over her bottom lip.
Sabrina wanted to disagree. She wanted to pull away from his touch. But she couldn’t. His voice, low and dangerous, his touch, so soft on her lips, and his body pressed tightly to hers was too much. She could barely catch her breath.
Trying to get her bearings,
she attempted to concentrate on their discussion. It was no use. Eric dipped his thumb inside her mouth and she lost it. She reacted without thought. Groaning, her lips tightened around his thumb and she held him inside her by sucking gently.
She heard him gasp then curse under his breath. He pulled his thumb from her mouth, released her face and stepped back. His fists were clenched tightly to his sides, and his expression was hard and cold like it was set in stone. Their gazes met and she saw that his eyes were almost glowing. The gold was so bright she had to look away.
“I meant what I said, Sabrina. Don’t fight me on this. You won’t win,” he warned in a voice deep and rough. “I’ll wait out in the hall for you.”
Eric swung around without another word, opened the door and stalked out of her office. The sound of the door slamming behind him made her jump. For a minute Sabrina couldn’t move. The effect this man had on her was scary. She had wanted, no needed, him so much during those last few seconds that she would have done anything to have him.
That wasn’t good.
It wasn’t healthy.
She wasn’t in control.
And she didn’t like that at all.
She was able to compose herself after a few minutes. Gathering all she needed to take home with her, she left her office. Eric was sitting in a chair in the hallway. The minute he saw her, he stood up and strode toward her.
“Ready to go?” he asked as if absolutely nothing had just occurred between them in the office.
She nodded her head, trying to maintain the composure she had barely been able to gather in her office.
“Yes, let’s go.”
They walked silently to her car. Eric stayed close by her side, constantly looking around, checking people out as they crossed the parking lot. Sabrina couldn’t help but admire him in this mode. He was all man, confident, strong and protective. It pulled at a part of her she didn’t acknowledge often, that little girl inside her that wanted to be protected. The very primal female side of her that liked having an alpha male watch over her. She would never admit it to anyone, but that feeling of having Eric by her side, protecting her, ready to defend her if necessary, made her heart flutter.
Since Eric and she had stopped dating, she had gone back to seeing the intellectual academia-type men she had always felt comfortable with. They were safe. They were stable. They appreciated her intelligence. They didn’t cause her heart to flutter. They didn’t make her knees weak. They didn’t challenge her in a way she wanted to be challenged. They didn’t make her feel feminine and beautiful.
They just weren’t Eric.
Sabrina had tried to get over that. She had tried to move on with her life and concentrate on those qualities in a man that she should be looking for—stability, comfort, companionship, mutual interests, caring and respect. There was no pain in that kind of relationship. That was the kind of companion she should be looking for. That was the kind of partnership her parents shared, and they seemed very happy and content with that. So why couldn’t she be happy with that? Why couldn’t she find contentment in the arms of a man like that?
Why did Eric have to blow back into her life and make her question all of it? Why did the idea of comfort and stability without passion, pain and joy suddenly seem so wrong? Why did all of the “shoulds” suddenly not seem as important any longer?
As Eric drove them home, she mulled over these questions but couldn’t come up with the answers. It was as if she were two people, divided by their wants and needs. Part of her wanted a man who would give her stability, security and comfort. But the other part, the strong, secret creature inside, wanted more. She wanted passion, desire and love. She wanted a man who was confident, commanding and strong. A man who challenged her but also supported her strength and intelligence. She wanted her heart to sing when she found the right partner. She wanted to click and connect with a man in a way that was basic and primal, not conjured or created based on societal norms.
That part of her that she shared with no one longed to break free. She wanted to live in a way that was authentic, bravely living her life how she was meant to, with a partner who would want her to do that, no matter how strange or different it might seem. No matter how emotional it was, that creature inside wanted to fly through the sky with a partner who would glory in it with her. A man who understood who she was totally and completely, and reveled in that awareness, proudly loving every aspect of her with the kind of feeling only they shared with each other.
Was that just a pipe dream? Was it just a fantasy to want that? Was she living in some romantic whimsy that wasn’t grounded in reality? And if that were the case, then why did she feel as if she had found that with Eric? That beautiful beast inside of her had gloried in being with him. She had stood proud and strong and glowed in his appreciation of that part of her.
Although Sabrina hadn’t showed Eric all of her, she had shown him more than anyone else other than her family. She had felt comfortable enough in the connection they shared to let him see some of that. And no matter what was happening now, he had appreciated and desired that part of her. He had told her on more than one occasion that she intrigued him. He had told her a number of times how much he enjoyed the fact that she was intelligent and had it together. He had told her that she was interesting to talk to and an intriguing person to know. And he had commented on how much he liked her dichotomy. He liked the fact that one minute she could be the intelligent, composed college professor and the next a playful, sexy woman.
And she wanted to be both. She yearned to be all that she was and not be judged harshly because of it. But she knew that wasn’t possible. She would never be accepted for everything that she was. She was better off being with a man who didn’t bring out that side of her. She needed to keep Eric at a distance and stick with those intellectual types who kept her in the box she needed to stay in to survive in this world.
Eric wondered what Sabrina was thinking about.
She had been quiet since they left ASU. He had been preoccupied with her surroundings as they walked across campus to her car and again remained watchful as he drove her home. But as he pulled into her driveway and shut off the engine, he couldn’t help but be curious about where her mind had taken her.
He knew they had unfinished business between them. They needed to settle the matter of her off-campus appearances once and for all. As they walked into her house, he debated how to bring up the subject. She needed to understand her boundaries. Her life was in danger. She couldn’t just go about her day-to-day activities as if that weren’t a fact.
He closed the door behind him and was about to bring up the subject when the sight of Sabrina’s parents standing in her living room caught his eye.
Manuel and Eric’s gazes collided. Anger and dislike flared in the older man’s eyes immediately. Hostility flared to life in Eric and he couldn’t help but glare right back.
Her father slid his glance from Eric’s and focused on Sabrina. His expression gentled immediately. Love and pride replaced the anger and hostility.
“Bueno, ’Brina. Your mother and I thought we had been invited for dinner. Were we mistaken?”
“I’m sorry, Papa,” Sabrina said, walking over to her parents and giving each of them a kiss on the cheek. “There’s been so much going on the last few days, our dinner plans slipped my mind.”
Sabrina’s mother immediately became concerned.
“What is it, querida? Has something happened? Are you all right?” she asked, gently cupping Sabrina’s cheek with her hand.
“I’m fine. I just have a little problem,” she explained, glancing at Eric.
Her father’s face grew stormy again, and his gaze turned accusingly to Eric.
“What have you done now?” he asked angrily.
Eric shook his head. “I’ve done nothing, Manuel. If you, Helaina and Sabrina would like to sit down in the other room, I’ll explain.”
Manuel stared at him for several moments and looked like he wanted to ref
use, but instead he nodded his head curtly.
“Bien. But this better be good,” he warned, walking with his wife into Sabrina’s living room.
Sabrina and he followed close behind.
From the beginning, Manuel and Eric had not gotten along. The older man was very protective of his daughter and he hadn’t liked the fact that Eric was taking up so much of her time. It was almost as if he had sensed that Eric wasn’t the kind to settle down. Her father also didn’t approve of Eric’s chosen profession. He had made it quite clear that his daughter belonged with others of her kind. Eric had taken this to mean intellectuals or academics like her parents and herself.
Despite this, Eric had been intrigued by Sabrina. Getting to know her had become a priority to him. In spite of her parents’ disapproval and his own wariness about getting involved, he had wanted to spend time with her.
He didn’t blame her father for disliking him. If he ever had a daughter, he’d never let her date a man like him. He wasn’t the meet-the-parents type, and he was in no way the marrying kind. But as he watched Sabrina sit on the couch with her parents, and remembered how close their family was, he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be a father. His gaze slid down to Sabrina’s stomach and something inside him shifted. The thought of a baby, their baby, growing inside her created an ache in him he had never felt before.
“We’re waiting, Eric. What is it you wanted to explain?”
Manuel’s voice broke through his thoughts and Eric tore himself away from the idea of Sabrina having a baby. Where had that come from? He shook his head as if to clear it and focused on the matter at hand.
“Sabrina. Do you want to start?” he asked.
Sabrina’s eyes went wide at the question, and she glanced nervously at her parents.
“I, uh, no. Why don’t you explain it, Eric.”
“Fine,” he said with a shrug. “A couple of weeks ago, your daughter was attacked on campus.”
Helaina gasped and grasped Sabrina’s arm.