by Jackie Olson
“Well, I beg your pardon,” he said. He respectfully glanced away as she clutched the sheet tighter.
“Who are you?” she asked.
“Jeff Loggings, darling,” he said. “You must be Joelle.”
“Good morning.” Minnie came through the door but stopped in her tracks when she saw Joelle. “Goodness, Jeff.” She slapped his arm. “We’re sorry to barge in, honey. Go on up and get yourself ready. It looks like you had a wonderful wedding night.” She gave Joelle a wink, and then pushed Jeff toward the kitchen.
She grabbed her suitcase and ran back up the stairs. She was out of the shower and dressed in ten minutes. As she headed back downstairs, the smell of perked coffee wafting up to her.
“I hope you don’t mind, I got things started,” Jeff said, nodding toward the coffee pot.
“Not at all. Thank you.” He handed her a steaming cup. Minnie was bustling around, going back and forth between the refrigerator and the pantry.
“How are you settling in?” Jeff asked as they sat down at the table.
“Just fine.”
“Is that so?” Jeff gave her a look that remaindered her of her father.
“I slept in,” she admitted. She glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. It was a quarter after seven.
“Getting up at dawn takes getting used to. You’ll get into the swing of it. Minnie, Colt and I have been doing it our whole lives. I wouldn’t know how to sleep in even if I could.”
“I could teach you,” she said with a smile.
He returned it. “Don’t let him scare you off,” he said a moment later.
“Scare me off?”
“Colt is certainly rough around the edges. But beneath all that there is a heart of gold. He’s just been lonely too long. And he feels the weight of the world on his shoulders. When his daddy died, it about did him in. That was all the family he had, and he was just here one day and gone the next. I don’t think Colt even realizes how much it affected him. How much it broke his heart.”
She took a long sip from her cup. She certainly knew about heartbreak.
“He doesn’t scare me a bit,” she said. “I’m quite fond of him.” She was surprised to hear some truth in her words.
Jeff leaned across the table and said quietly, “I know how you met. Minnie doesn’t. God don’t tell her! But I know. And I know Colt told you he wasn’t looking for love.”
“He did. I’m not looking for love either,” she confessed.
“Is that so? Now, darling, everyone is looking for love. Surely, you know that.”
“I’ve had love.”
“And how did that work out?”
“Lousy,” she replied. “So lousy that it turned me off to the prospect altogether.”
Jeff laughed. He had a genuine twinkle in his eye. “If I had a nickel for every time someone said those words. For every time I said those words.”
“But aren’t you and Minnie married?” she asked.
“Yes. Third time for me, though. I was pretty bitter on love, but there it was all these years – right in front of my face.” He stood up then, draining the last of his coffee.
“Minnie, I am heading out,” he called. She was just coming out of the pantry. She came over and kissed his cheek. “It was nice meeting you, Jo.”
“It was very nice to meet you, too,” she told him.
“I’ll see you soon.” He put on his hat and tipped it toward her. Then he headed out the back door.
***
Minnie stayed for a few hours. She started a pot of chili, and she showed her around the house. It was almost noon when she left, promising to be back the next day. Joelle started a load of laundry and put some cornbread in the oven. It was ready twenty minutes later when Colt came in.
“Smells good,” he said.
“Wash up,” she told him.
She gave her a tired smile, and memories of the night before flooded her again. She felt her cheeks go warm and her body go flush as he brushed past her. He stood at the kitchen sink for several minutes, washing away the morning. When he finally sat back down, she placed a hot bowl of chili in front of him.
“I have to go into town this afternoon,” he said. He turned to his chili and downed half the bowl in a matter of seconds.
“Should I come?” she asked.
“No need. I have an appointment at the bank. I’m a little behind on the mortgage.”
She looked up at him. “What do you mean?”
“My daddy was a great man, but his finances were a mess when he died. I’ve been working day and night to get things in order again. But times are hard.”
She dropped her spoon into her bowl. Bits of chili splashed across the table. “I don’t understand. I thought you owned this ranch.”
“The bank owns the ranch, Jo.”
“But you said you could take care of a wife.” She didn’t know why she suddenly felt so panicky, but she did.
“I can. The manager is a buddy of mine. Everything will be alright,” he said. “I’m doing my best. I’ve been running uphill for three years now.”
“I don’t know what to say.” And she didn’t.
“Listen, I apologize if what I said made you believe I owned this ranch right out. I don’t. But I hope to someday. I can tell you this, I will always take care of you. But this isn’t a prison, it’s a marriage. You can leave anytime you want if this isn’t what you want.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No – I don’t.”
“I just – I can’t go back.” Tears burned her eyes. She couldn’t look up at him. But she heard him push his chair back and come around the table.
“Then don’t.” He reached down and tilted her head back so she was looking at him. Then he bent and kissed her lips, softly at first and then harder. He pulled her up from the chair and against him. She wanted him. Wanted him right then and there.
As if reading her mind, he lifted her up and onto the table. He came down on top of her, the weight of him making her whole body ache with want. She arched into him and he moaned softly, his breath warm against her ear. And when he took her, she clung to him as if she was lost at sea and he was the only thing keeping her from drowning completely.
***
Colt left the bank feeling uneasy. He was almost three months behind on the mortgage. Not to mention the taxes were due. He had one month to catch up on payments or the ranch will be put up for auction. He hadn’t a clue how he would manage, but he was certainly going to try. He just had to work harder. He knew how to do that.
He spent the next few weeks doing just that and showing Joelle the ins and outs of ranch life. She was able to help with some of the manual labor, but not much. He was simply stronger and had been doing it his whole life. There was always hay to cut, bale and stack. Always a fence that needed mending or manure to haul. Joelle helped with other things. She worked a lot in the garden and with the animals. She seemed to enjoy the animals more than anything, especially the horses. He liked watching her with them. In fact, over the next few days, he caught himself watching her more and more.
He also liked coming home to her – most days. It had become painfully obvious she had never kept house before. She could cook - sure, but nothing from scratch. And she tried baking but burned practically everything. She told him that she cleaned every day. He was sure she did. But it was more like tidying up here and there. She had yet to give the whole ranch the good scrubbing that it needed. It was gnawing at him. They had fought about it more than once.
“I just don’t know what you want from me!” she told him.
“You know exactly what I want, Jo. Come on.”
“A housemaid.”
“A partner! Don’t act like I don’t work myself into an early grave. Is it so much to ask to have a clean house and a decent dinner?”
She stormed out of the room. He found her an hour later, listening to music in the living room. It was a slow song, something country and twangy. The sun had gone do
wn, and the living room was in shadows. He held out his hand to her, and she took it. They swayed together to the music.
“I am trying,” she said sadly.
“I know.” He held her, getting lost in the moment.
They went upstairs a little later. This is what he longed for all day. It didn’t matter if they had bickered all day, he couldn’t wait to get under the blankets with her each night. She was beautiful and soft. She awakened things in him that had been dormant for too long. In those moments, he could care less if she knew how to bake bread or use a vacuum. He was completely under her spell.
***
Joelle sat drinking her third cup of coffee. It was late in the day. Colt would be home soon. A part of her hummed with the anticipation of seeing him. The other part of her worried. She glanced around the kitchen and dining room, searching for some spot she hadn’t dusted or dish she hadn’t washed. She knew he was disappointed. She was not a housewife. At least not one that lived up to his standards. But she was trying. She was becoming more and more aware of how hard she was trying. How much she wanted to make him happy. That made her nervous. There were days when all she thought about was the moment he would walk through the door.
“Hey,” he came in just then. He looked rugged and handsome, tired from a long day. “Something smells sweet.”
“I baked a cheesecake today,” she said proudly. “And I didn’t burn it.”
“I didn’t know you had to actually bake a cheesecake.”
“Exactly,” she replied. They both smiled.
He sat down, mail in his hand. He began to shuffle through it as she got up to make him a sandwich.
“Jo, why would a lawyer be writing to you?” he questioned.
She stopped mid-step and turned back toward him. “What?”
He held up one of the envelopes and gave her a questioning stare. “Well?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “Let me have it.” She snatched it from her hand.
“What’s going on?” he asked with a frown.
“I think it’s just about some property I use to own,” she lied.
He stood up and came toward her. “Then let’s open it.” His voice had gone cold.
“It’s personal.”
“You’re my wife…”
“Colt, please.”
“Is this about us, Joelle? What are you trying to do – what are you after?”
“After?” she repeated. “What does that mean?”
“Just open the envelope!”
“You think I trying to take something from you? After the past four weeks, that’s what you think of me?”
“I don’t know what to think. Just open it.”
She threw the letter at him, hot tears springing up in her eyes. “This has nothing to do with you. It’s about me. I was married before, Colt. He was a drunk and an abuser, and he’s in prison now. And now you know.”
He took a step back as if he’d been punched in the gut. “You were married before?”
“I was. He took everything I had. He gambled it away. He drank it away. He became violet when it all ran out. And he almost killed someone.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks now. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have.”
“Then, why didn’t you?”
“A lot of reasons. Mostly because I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t think you’d want me if you knew, and I needed you to want me. And I was embarrassed. I had been such a fool for him. And it’s hard to admit our mistakes sometimes…”
“You lied to me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“So am I.” He turned and walked out the back door.
“Colt,” she said. The tears were raging now. She sunk down on the kitchen tile and cried her eyes out.
PART THREE
Colt didn’t sleep at all that night. He stayed downstairs on the couch. He could hear Jo above him, pacing the floor. He could hear when she cried. He wanted to go to her, but he couldn’t. Finally, he got up and got in the shower. Joelle had finally fallen asleep, and he didn’t wake her before he left. He drove into town. Ashlyn was coming to meet him.
He sat at a back table of the local diner. He and Ashlyn had come here almost every weekend when they were dating. He thought about how young and free they had been. He was still young, but he didn’t feel very free anymore.
“Colt.”
He looked up, and there she was. She looked just the same, if not more beautiful. He stood up as she fluttered into his arms. When they sat down, she reached across the table and held his hand.
“I’ve missed you,” she said. “I heard you got married.”
“I did,” he replied with a sad smile.
“I’m happy for you. I mean that,” she told him.
He nodded slowly. “I know you do.”
“Do you love her?” she asked.
Did he?
He knew he had been falling for her more every day. It hadn’t been his plan. But it had happened just the same.
“Love is hard,” he said.
“It’s not,” she replied. “Not everyone runs from love, Colt. Not everyone is as big a fool as I am.” She squeezed his hand and then let it go. She shuffled around in her purse and then pulled out an envelope. She slid it across the table.
“This should take care of things,” she told him.
“I’ll pay you back, I swear.”
“I know,” she said softly. “I am just glad I could help. I love that ranch. And your daddy would be real proud of you.”
“Would he?”
“Believe me, he would. You’ve built a nice life for yourself. You should let yourself enjoy it.”
He smiled at her across the table. “Maybe you’re right. It meant a lot to see you, but I should go.” He stood up, sliding the envelope into his pocket. He came to the table, bent down and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you.”
She nodded, reaching up and taking his hand one more time. She held it for a moment and then let him go for good.
***
Colt had been gone all day. It was getting late, and Joelle was drained. She had packed a bag, and she planned on leaving in the morning. Her heart restricted at the thought. Despite her best efforts, she was falling for him. But the truth was out now, and he didn’t want her anymore.
“Hi.” Colt appeared in the doorway. “I want you to take a ride with me.”
She didn’t question him. She just got up and followed him outside. It was cold, and she shivered slightly. The world was dark, not even the moon was out as they headed for the barn. One of the horses was out, already saddled.
They rode for a long time without speaking. She felt like they were the only people left in the world. And when they reached a meadow, he got down off the horse and brought her with him. They sunk down in the cool grass, under the sable sky and made love. It was slow and sweet and tender. So much so that she felt like her heart might burst.
“Every day for the past month I have asked myself the same two questions,” he said, lying beside her.
“And what are they?” she asked.
“What am I doing? What are we doing?”
“Come up with any answers?”
He gave her a sideways smile. “Some. But they terrify me.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m falling in love with you. I broke my promise. And you lied.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know. And I know why you did it. You deserve better than him. And I’m sorry for what he did to you.” He reached over and took her hand.
“I didn’t want to fall for you either. But I did. A little more every day. Colt – please understand. I didn’t know how kind a man could be. And yes, you want things your way. Your stubborn and a perfectionist. And you work too hard. But you’re also loving and compassionate. Strong and supportive.” She turned to face him.
“Jo…”
“I fell for you, too.” She had come here to escape love. But everything catches up to you ev
entually. No point is running. And she supposed she always knew deep down it would be a losing battle. The first time she saw him, she knew. The first time he kissed her, she knew. And when they made love…well, she certainly knew then.
“I promise never to keep anything from you again,” she said.
“And I promise to take care of you every day of my life.”
“And I promise to love you, Colt. And never leave you.”
“I promise to love you and worship you.” He kissed her softly. “This time, I’ll keep my promises.”
She smiled against his lips. “So will I.”
THE END