“There’s plenty, so eat up.” Adam tore his gaze from Lisa and blew into his soup.
Lisa gave him an odd look as she tested the temperature of hers. “You’re a terrific host. Where did you learn to take such good care of everyone?”
His ego needed a boost, but not from a woman who would be gone in a matter of days. He fought the longing to try to change her mind. “Being the youngest, I was the family gofer.”
Lisa crinkled her nose. “A gopher?”
“Yeah, as in, ‘Adam, run get this... Bring me that medicine...’” His voice faded out. “You know, go for—gofer. Surely your mom and sisters...”
She shook her head and looked at him with amused wonder. “Our childhoods were so different.” Her voice was still soft and husky from the cold weather. “How old were you when your dad got sick?”
His jaw tightened. “Fifteen.” It wasn’t exactly light conversation, but it would keep his mind off Lisa. Adam stretched his legs in front of him and cradled the soup mug in the palm of one hand. He went on to tell her stories about their many trips to the ice cream shop and secret fishing excursions.
Lisa envied Adam. Even in their worst times, he had wonderful memories. His childhood had been worlds apart from hers. They had pets and family vacations, silly pictures and family reunions that continued to draw them together. Emily and Kat had tried in recent years to create that kind of bond, but they had lost years that could never be replaced.
Lisa felt tears sting her eyes and blinked them away. “Tell me more about your dad.”
Adam finished chewing a cracker and pushed his chin forward. He paused for a drink, then shrugged. “You don’t want to hear—”
“Yes, I do.” Surprised, Lisa nodded, realizing for the first time that she longed to know his dad, even if only vicariously.
Confusion clouded his eyes. “Why?”
Did talking about his dad dig up painful emotions Adam didn’t want to face? “I’m curious...” Nosy felt more like it. Lisa felt her cheeks warm. “Never mind. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“It’s not that. Suddenly I feel...guilty.”
“Why would you feel guilty?”
“Because I had a dad, and you didn’t. Because I have great memories, and you don’t. Because I don’t want to make the emptiness you must feel even worse.”
How could she argue with that? She took a deep breath and let it out, willing the tears away. “You couldn’t make it any worse, Adam. I know billions of people had wonderful fathers, and from the men you and your brothers are now, yours had to have been one of the best. You look like him.” She smiled, noting the question on Adam’s face. “He was very handsome.”
One corner of his mouth turned up. “Indirect compliments work for me.”
“I hope so. Were you like him in personality?”
Adam shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. I never really thought that much about it.”
“So he was tough on the outside and a softy inside?” From his silence, Lisa guessed Adam didn’t much appreciate her assessment. She glanced up, daring to smile.
He studied her thoughtfully for a moment, holding her gaze tenderly in his. “No comment.”
Pleased that she had successfully disarmed him with her smile, she repeated her request. “Tell me more about him.”
Adam granted her wish. “One Saturday morning Dad insisted he had to give me a driving lesson.” He chuckled. “Mom argued that I had chores and homework, but she finally gave in. It wasn’t like either of them to argue.” Adam glanced at the photo on the end table. “I’d never driven anywhere besides the school parking lot or here at the ranch in the pasture. We had an old beat-up truck that I was allowed to use, but this day, Dad insisted we take his new Jeep to the mountains.”
Lisa finished eating then rested her head on the pillows, listening to Adam’s touching account of the afternoon four-wheeling and fishing with his father.
“We took every back road in the county, finding every fishing hole around. There I was, barely able to drive on a city street, yet Dad had to teach me the ins and outs of mountain driving, including roads that weren’t roads at all. I was petrified.”
Much as Lisa tried to imagine Adam fifteen and scared, she couldn’t. “But you passed with flying colors, right?”
He shook his head. “Not exactly. Dad told me to cross this stream...” Adam’s mouth curved to an unconscious smile. “Only, it was a lot deeper than he thought and we washed downstream....”
She raised to one elbow. “What happened?”
“Oh, we didn’t go far—a boulder stopped us. I thought I was dead. His Jeep was brand-new.”
“What did he do—ground you?”
“His eyes were huge. I was sure he’d blow his top, but he laughed. He opened the door, looked at the water rushing by and said, ‘That’s a lot deeper than it was last week.’ Then he launched into a lesson on using the wench, which we proceeded to do to get ourselves out.” Adam slipped into a trance. “Dad always found a way to make lemonade out of lemons. We had some fun times before he got too sick. If Mom had known, she’d have grounded us both for life.”
“I’m sure your mom would be thrilled to know how special those times ended up being to you. You ought to tell her. She’d probably laugh now.” Millie impressed her as the type of woman who didn’t hold on to the past, but looked forward to tomorrow.
She felt uncomfortable under Adam’s gentle and contemplative gaze and looked away.
“What memories do you have of your dad?” Adam’s question startled her.
Silence filled the emptiness and he waited patiently. “I don’t. I used to make up stories about him to try to convince myself that I remembered him. A few years ago, Katarina asked me to help her find him.” Lisa remembered the hurt in her sister’s voice when she refused. “I couldn’t.”
“Aren’t you at all curious about him?”
“Curious enough that every town I travel to I look up his name in the phone book, but not brave enough to make the call if I ever did find him. One rejection is enough to survive. Twice...” She realized she’d almost opened up the topic of Dale again. “He doesn’t want to know me. I don’t need him.”
Lisa avoided looking at Adam. She couldn’t withstand his silent appraisal right now. “So you don’t let yourself need anyone? You won’t let anyone need you? You keep moving so that you don’t have to make too big of a commitment.”
“It’s called survival. I do what I have to do.”
“You’re missing out on life, Lisa. You need to let someone take care of you, let them need you, love you...”
Her heart raced. She wanted to leave. “They’ll only leave again. They always do. People make promises and then they break them. They take what they want...and then they go.”
“We’re not talking about your dad anymore, are we?” Adam’s voice was quiet, but his tone demanded the truth.
“Why are you doing this to me? Because you think I can’t leave?” She threw the covers from her lap and set her feet on the floor. “Hands and knees are good enough for Alissa. They’ll work for me.”
Adam knelt next to her. “I’m doing this because I care about you. But as long as this pain consumes you...” He rubbed his hand over his forehead. “Don’t you see what you’re missing?”
She pulled his hand away from his face and looked him in the eyes. “Don’t you think I’ve tried? I finally let myself need someone, and he literally took my life away. He took everything—my furniture, my clothes, my photography equipment...” Adam’s forehead creased with the twitch of his brow.
“The boyfriend?”
She nodded.
Adam sat on the edge of the sofa. “Go on.”
“We were a team—he took the pictures, I wrote the stories. I wanted to learn everything he knew about photography.” She looked down at her hands, and Adam lifted her chin. “I turned down a job to move across the country and work with him. When I came to Katarina and Alex’s wedding, he had an important assign
ment and needed to borrow my brand-new digital camera. It was my graduation gift from my family. When I got home, the apartment was empty. I couldn’t even pay rent. I had to replace my equipment.”
“You never found him?”
She shrugged. “Why would I even bother looking for a jerk like him? He’d moved out the day after I flew to Colorado, Adam. He hocked my personal things, kept my equipment and left.”
Adam’s lips parted in amazement. “You’re a fighter, Lisa. Why didn’t you go after him? Why didn’t you press charges?”
“With no money?” Lisa shook her head. “Sometimes the best way to win a battle is not to get into the fight in the first place. He’d already taken all my material belongings and broken my heart. I couldn’t afford to lose anything more.”
“You had no clue he’d do something like that?”
She shifted her gaze away from the concern of his gentle brown eyes. “I knew Dale had some expensive habits, but I thought he’d given them up— I was naive. No, I didn’t ever believe he’d hurt me.”
Adam took hold of her hand. “You didn’t tell your sisters, did you? They would have helped. That’s what family is for, Lisa.”
“They had their own lives, new husbands, jobs, orphaned little boys, babies... They didn’t need to worry about their gullible baby sister. Besides, survival keeps the mind pretty busy. Helping out in the shelters, I realized very quickly, I could have been a lot worse off.”
Adam’s eyes softened. “Yes, I guess it could have been worse.”
She heard her heart beat faster the longer Adam remained quiet. His silence aroused old fears and uncertainties. Did he think she was a coward?
Lisa buried her face in the pillows. Better she find out now if Adam couldn’t forgive her past, before she’d given her heart to him. And if his interest was genuine, better he know from the start that a relationship with her would be an uphill battle. Try as she may, her insecurities weren’t easy to overcome.
“I’ll be right back.”
Lisa looked at her watch, surprised to see it was nearly ten. With the day she’d had, she should be asleep by now. She closed her eyes, not expecting Adam to return anytime soon.
A soft melody drifted into the room. Adam set his cell phone on the kitchen counter and turned up the volume. “I think this dance is long overdue.”
She looked around. “But...”
Adam knelt down and lifted her into his arms, and she locked her hands behind his neck. He cradled her close as he did his best to dance around the furniture without hitting her feet against anything. “I’m not much of a dancer, but I think I can safely promise not to step on your toes.”
She smiled. “You know how I feel about promises.”
“I aim to change your mind about that, if you’ll give me the chance.”
She studied his face unhurriedly, feature by feature. “One dance won’t make things complicated.”
“That’s the most optimism I’ve heard out of you yet.” One corner of his mouth turned up. “You really think things between us could get complicated?”
She felt the promise in his gaze, in his smile, in his soft laughter. “With your brothers married to my sisters, I’d say it already is complicated.”
“Leave them out of it.”
She brushed the stray hair from his forehead. “My life is on the road, yours is firmly grounded to responsibilities here. I’d still say it’s already complicated.” She leaned her head on his shoulder and Adam sat down. He held her close and neither of them spoke for a long while.
“Please don’t make matters worse by not facing reality, Adam. I am who I am, and you have to know from the start—”
Adam cleared his throat. “Let’s take it one day at a time. Right now, you’re here, so let’s make the most of getting to know one another before you leave.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
SHE AND ADAM talked late into the night in the dim glow of the lantern. When Adam woke just after two in the morning with Lisa in his embrace, the fire had died out and the windows already frosted over. He eased Lisa aside, rested her head on the pillow and tucked the blankets around her. He brushed the silky hair off of her face and she rolled over, mumbling softly. The waffled texture of his shirt had left an imprint on her cheek.
He started fires in both his private quarters and the lodge. It wouldn’t take long for them to warm up again. Though he knew she’d be okay, he couldn’t leave her downstairs by herself. Adam pulled the comforter from his bed and returned to the chair next to Lisa and went back to sleep.
Woken by the faint sound of the rooster crowing, Adam moved quietly about the house. He added another log to the fire, then proceeded through the lodge, checking for frozen pipes. Everything looked fine. He paused in the doorway of the deluxe suite, pleased with the progress in the past week. He couldn’t have done it without Lisa. The thought frightened him. Terrified him. Made him come face-to-face with the realization that the lodge wasn’t the only thing that had changed since
Lisa’s arrival.
He didn’t want to need anyone, especially not an independent woman who lived life with her foot on the accelerator. He’d set aside that lifestyle long ago.
When Adam went downstairs, Lisa stood at the door, watching Toby run through the drifts, some of which were as tall as the giant of a dog. “It must have snowed all night,” she said.
Adam joined her, but she just stared outside with her back to him.
“You’re okay, Lisa.”
“Must have been my rescuer.”
He rested his hand on her shoulder. “Appointed especially to you.”
“Are you implying that I need extra attention?” Her eyebrow quirked upward and a smile teased her lips.
He’d resisted kissing Lisa last night, but he was afraid it was going to take more willpower than he possessed to refrain much longer. “Just that you’re special.” Adam turned to watch the black puppy jump and play. “I haven’t seen this much snow here since I was in grade school. We had to bend down to see in the windows.”
“Nothing yet.” Lisa smiled but remained quiet as she reached over and tried to turn the lights on.
Adam stood behind her and rubbed her upper arms “You cold?”
She shook her head. “No, just a sudden chill. How long until they have the power back on?”
“It could be days. The radio says the whole area is without power. Town will be the first priority. Those of us out here are expected to be prepared for such emergencies. I’ll have to consider a generator, I suppose. Part of the joys of rural life, doesn’t matter the season. Thunderstorms or snow—all affects us about the same.” She wanted reality, and unfortunately, it was coming in handfuls this week. If this storm didn’t let up soon, it would scare her away before he stood a chance of tempting her to stay. “How about a board game marathon after breakfast? We used to do that when the school called a snow day. Makes time go pretty fast.”
Her eyes didn’t leave the snow. “What games do you have?”
“Every game ever made for the past forty years.” He stepped up beside her and turned her away from the window. “Let’s have some oatmeal by the fire first.”
She turned back around. “Where’s Toby?”
“Probably checking on the cattle. He’ll be fine. He led me to you, remember?”
“Oh, yeah. He’s a rescue dog, right?”
“He’s actually best in the water. We have a lot of reservoirs in the area. Summer seems to bring out all the partyers.” Toby appeared at the back door and shook the snow from his fur. Lisa let him in, obviously relieved to see her protector. She took the towel from the coat hook and dried him off. “So how did you decide to become a search-and-rescue team?”
“It kind of started out as a joke. Alex thought Toby would be a perfect companion since I’ve always sworn I’d never get married. He and Kevin went to the rescue shelter and came to work one day with Toby.”
“Kind of an expensive joke, isn’t it?”
* * *
ADAM WAS RELIEVED to see Lisa’s mood improve as the day went on. She stayed inside while he tended to chores. After he’d finished with those, they worked rearranging the suites, hanging pictures and adding the little details such as cabinet handles and outlet covers.
After two days, the sun finally came out, and on the third day, electricity was restored. Everything had technically gone fine, but Adam had worried that Lisa would go stir-crazy without her laptop and cell phone, which had gone dead by the end of the first day. Not surprisingly, she had found countless ways to fill her time.
As soon as the snow had stopped, Adam attached a blade to the front of an old truck and began the tedious job of plowing the entrance to the ranch. He’d just finished plowing his mother’s drive when Kevin, Emily and Millie arrived with the children.
Lisa ran out the door to greet their guests, obviously relieved to have contact with the outside world again. “We’ve been trying to call for days,” Emily said, then exchanged hugs with her sister.
“The land lines are still out as far as I know, but a visit is better than a phone call any day, isn’t it, Alissa?” Lisa snuggled their adorable curly-haired niece and Adam found himself imagining what their kids would look like. Did she even want children?
Adam lagged behind with Kevin, forcing his mind from his futile love life. He laughed at Toby and Ricky playing in the snow. “This reminds me of that spring break when they had four feet of snow here.”
Kevin nodded. “Yeah, the sledding was great.”
“Until Mom sent you to your room for hooking Tike up to pull the sled.” Adam laughed while recalling their sheltie wondering what happened.
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