“I’m going to Tulsa,” I say, reaching inside my closet and start throwing clothes in a bag.
Jessie gasps sitting up. “I need details. Did you get a nod?”
“Yes! And then he said ‘hang on, baby.’”
Jessie’s eyes go wide, there’s no denying our excitement. “I’m coming to Rocksprings with you.”
“Really?”
“I’m going to find me a bull rider and it’s not like you have a license. How do you suppose you’d get there?”
“He’s got two brothers,” I tell her smiling so wide I don’t think it’s going to fade.
“See,” Jessie stands and puts her jean shorts on and then reaches for her keys. “Now we’re talking. Road trip, baby!”
It hits me that I need a plan when Jessie and I are standing in my bedroom, me holding a bag of clothes and an envelope of money. It hadn’t occurred to me until then because I had it in my mind that I would never leave this place.
“Now what?” I stare at Jessie, waiting, wondering if she has an idea what to do.
Her eyes dart from mine to the bag and then back to me. “Let’s go. I’ve had a bag packed in my truck since graduation.”
“You have?” I don’t know why that shocks me, but it does.
“Yeah, I’ve just been waiting for you to say the word.”
My stomach jumps when my phone beeps. Thinking again, it might be Callan. I look down, hoping it was him, only to see it’s Kasey again.
Kasey: Alanna, where are you?
My stomach knots at the message. If I stay, I’ll go back to him. I’ll fall back into this life and never leave. I look back at Jessie. “Let’s go.”
She gives a nod following me out the door, telling me all the while how excited she is.
When we’re downstairs, it hits me, again, I need a plan.
Who’s going to do my chores around here and what will my dad say? Technically I’m eighteen and he can’t say anything or stop me.
I didn’t think I would care but now, well, what if he tries to stop me?
Luckily for me, my mother is the only one in the house when we get downstairs and I hear the rumble of dad’s tractor in the driveway.
“Oh, hello Jessie.” She greets Jessie politely wiping her hands down the front of her apron. “I just made some breakfast if you’re hungry.” And then she notices my bag and smiles drawing in a deep breath. “Your dad’s down in the south field.”
It’s like she’s giving me the okay. “And the boy down the street’s been looking for some summer work. I think I’ll give him a call to help out.”
Jessie’s not sure what to make of all this, but I know exactly what my mom’s getting at. She’s giving me an out.
Mom pulls Jessie in for a hug, her arms tight and nurturing like she always is. “Drive safe.”
Jessie looks nervous staring at me over my mom’s shoulder. “Always, Mrs. Rodger.”
Mom then turns to me. “Have fun, baby.”
“I will.” My nerves hit again but so does my smile.
“And call me when you get there.”
I used to think that my mom was unhappy. I mean, how could she be happy living on this farm her entire life?
The thing was, this was the life she wanted. And she understood it wasn’t what I wanted. What my dad couldn’t see, she understood so easily.
“What about dad?” I knew it wouldn’t go over well with him. In his world, you don’t walk away from you responsibilities.
“He’ll get over it. Now go, it’s a long drive.”
It’s funny to me that she knew where I was going but then again, it’s not. She always knew.
When I was ten, I got bucked off Clay, my horse, and broke my arm. There was no way my mom could have seen it, but she met me on the porch with ice and her purse in hand, ready to take me to the doctor. I asked her how she knew and she smiled, helping me in the car. “You’re my blood, baby, I know when you’re hurt.”
I thought when the time came to leave, I’d be out the door so fast nothing could have stopped me. Now I’m hesitating, scared to leave her out of not knowing. I knew I’d probably be back, but then again, what if I wasn’t?
I wrap my arms around my mom, tight, letting her know with my hold that I’ll miss her regardless if I’m gone a day or a year. “Thanks, Mama. I love you.”
“I love you too.” Drawing back, her hands that have held me close since my first breath cup my cheeks. “Show that boy you’re worth it and believe that you are, sweetie.”
Jessie grows impatient and touches my shoulder, in no way trying to rush my mom, but still eager to get going. “We really need to get going if we’re gonna catch that rodeo.”
She’s right. We do. It’s a five and a half hour drive to Tulsa and I have no idea what time it starts.
With one last hug, I let my mom go and Jessie and I make our way outside. Mom follows to the porch and waves us off with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.
When Jessie and I are in the truck and heading down the driveway, I take one last look at the house.
There goes my childhood.
We’re heading through town towards the interstate and I ask Jessie if she needs to stop anywhere.
“We should get gas.”
That wasn’t what I was getting at and she knows it. “My mom isn’t even gonna know I’m gone and Cody won’t care.”
“Do you think he’ll know?”
“Probably not. His wife’s pregnant.”
I frown rubbing her shoulder. “I’m sorry, babe.” And then I give her a smile and grab her hand. “Just us girls, right?”
She smiles, winking. “Heading to a rodeo.”
My mind and nerves are all over the place trying to understand what it is I’m doing following Callan to a rodeo. I mean, don’t get me wrong, last night was great. And we had an unbelievable connection but what would this mean when I got to Tulsa?
Would his feelings change? There were so many unknowns in this scenario.
Jessie seems to sense my nerves and reaches to turn down the radio. “He told you to come, didn’t he?”
“Yeah.” I bite my thumbnail and sigh, staring out the window.
“Then stop obsessing over it. He wouldn’t have said that if he didn’t want you there.”
“I know,” I say, not entirely convinced. And then I remember pieces of my conversation with him last night. Parts I failed to tell Jessie in our rush to leave town. “He knows that Kasey is Jackson’s younger brother.”
We pass by the diner Jessie’s been working at, her gaze lingers on her mom’s old beat up Oldsmobile parked around back. “You told him about Jackson?” Her eyes dart from the road to mine. “You never tell anyone about Jackson.”
She’s right. I don’t. I don’t like the looks I get when people know. The ones where they take pity upon me because my boyfriend died.
“I didn’t tell him. He knew. He figured it out on his own.”
Jessie doesn’t say anything for a minute and then sighs. “I sure hope he has some hot friends who are as good as he is.”
Callan is good. I feel it. I know it.
“Me too.”
She raises an eyebrow and I laugh understanding what had her laughing. “Not like that.”
Hours later, we’re just outside of Oklahoma City and it’s hot. Not just any kind of hot. It’s miserable. As the boys back home would say, it’s hotter than the Devil’s ball sac. Think of the hottest day you’ve ever felt and then add the humidity of a sauna. Absolutely fucking miserable is what it is.
Jessie and I are literally in our bra and underwear because her truck has no air conditioning.
“We gotta stop and get some water or somethin’,” I tell her laying my head back against the window and letting the warm breeze try to cool me down. It doesn’t help. It just feels like I’m under a hair dryer. “I feel like I’m sweating enough that I shouldn’t be hot.”
“That’s a gross thought but I know. . .” Jessie fans her
self with the map as she pulls off the interstate.
We stop at a gas station, grab bottles of water, want to throw ourselves in the cooler, get cigarettes and then we’re walking through the small store looking for snacks. We’re stalling because the last thing we want to do right then is go back out in that heat again.
That’s when Jessie picks up a pack of condoms. “Think he’ll have enough?”
I laugh, not only at the looks we’re getting but that Jessie is only wearing her mismatched bra and underwear and holding up a box of condoms.
I give a nod. “Better get some. Wouldn’t want to run out.”
We get even more looks when she tosses all that on the counter. “Can I get thirty on pump two?” She asks, staring at the older man behind the counter.
“You should have put your pants on,” I whisper in her ear, resting my chin on her shoulder when the man behind the counter says nothing to her, and just stares at her red lace bra.
Unlike Jessie, I put my shorts on at least and my bra looks more like a bikini top than lingerie. He’s more than likely never seen anyone like her before.
She blows me off, waving and tossing cash on the counter and then throws a bag of barbeque chips up there too.
Still, the man stares.
Jessie snorts and leans over the counter pushing money towards him. “It’s hot out there, pops. Now how ‘bout that gas?”
“Pump two is ready.” He stutters out, his eyes low but mostly on Jessie’s chest.
We’re walking outside, the heat suffocating us immediately when we step out. Jessie laughs. “You’d think they’ve never seen a half-naked girl before.”
With my hand on the door handle of her truck, I roll my eyes and lift up on my tiptoes to look over the hood. “Take a look around.”
She does and sees for herself why everyone is staring at her. It’s a truck stop and most of these men probably haven’t seen a woman in months.
Her eyes dart around her surroundings. “Nice,” is all she says and begins to pump gas.
Getting back in the truck, I check my phone to see the time. It’s nearing noon and I’m starting to get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like I’m not sure what I’m doing or what this means. I want to send him a message, but I can’t make myself do it.
What if he decides he doesn’t actually want me to come? Then what?
Oh God, don’t think like that. I tell myself pressing my hand to my bare stomach. The action makes me immediately think of the way Callan’s hands felt on me last night and the way he pulled me to the edge of that hay bale.
Jessie gets in the truck smelling like gasoline and half her bag of chips already gone. She gives me a nod. “Who’s your friend?”
“What?” I set my phone down and glance around the cab. “What friend?”
“Her.” She gives another nod to the window.
When I turn my head, I about jump a foot off the seat when I see a woman standing there staring at me.
“Hello,” she says about knocking me out with her ass breath and running her leather fingers over my bare shoulder. “You’re both beautiful girls.”
Is she hitting on us?
“Uh, thanks.” I sneak a glance at Jessie. “Let’s go,” I whisper.
She ignores me, slowly bringing a chip to her mouth and then chewing just as slow, completely amused by this.
“Can we help you?” I ask, scooting towards Jessie.
The woman smiles, tight red lips and tangled, straw light blonde hair. “My husband thinks you two are pretty.” And then she winks, fucking winks at us. “How ‘bout a two for one?”
I look over at Jessie to see what her reaction is going to be. “I don’t understand. . .”
I roll my eyes. “She wants us to fuck each other and let her husband join in so she can watch.”
Her eyes go wide, her mouth forming a perfect O shape. “Oh hell, roll up that fuckin’ window, Alanna!”
“Oh, so now we’re in a hurry?”
Jessie wipes the back of her hand over her forehead. “Goddamn right we are!”
Shaking my head, I toss my phone on the seat. “It’s not the first-time someone has asked for both of us together.”
Jessie peels out of the gas station still shaking her head. “Yeah, but, at least Jeremy was hot.”
She had a point there too.
It’s nearing three that afternoon when Jessie and I realize we might be lost. We pretty much can’t follow a map which is ridiculous because there are two interstates that lead to Tulsa. You would think it wouldn’t be that hard. We pull off the interstate and sit along the side of the road, each passing truck rocking our truck sideways.
“Damn it.” Jessie rips the map from my hands and stares at it, her brow scrunched in concentration and finger following the interstate lines. “We were supposed to take 244 into Tulsa.”
“We missed that.” I frown nervously. Jessie hates being lost about as much as she hates the color pink. Which is a lot.
“Apparently.” She tosses the map on the floor in frustration and stares out the windshield. “What time does it start?”
“I don’t know.”
Jessie sighs, picking the map up again and then looks back at me. “Do you know where it’s at?”
“No. I know it’s in Tulsa.”
She glares. “Do you know anything?”
“No. . .”
“Well, did you talk to him about it?”
“No. He just. . .well I was about to thank him for giving me the best orgasm of my life and he told me to meet him in Tulsa and tell him when I got there.”
Jessie considers this but there’s nothing Jessie hates more than being lost. “Well. . .you’re a lot of fucking help. Call him.”
My finger hovers over the call button, both in shock that I have the name Callan James in my contacts, and that I might call. But I don’t. I can’t. “No.” My eyes widen. It was the obvious thing to do, but I refused. No way was I calling him. What if he didn’t answer when I called? What if he. . .ugh! Fuck my what ifs.
“Why?” Jessie presses.
“I’m scared,” I admit because I can to her. It’s Jessie. She gets me. If anyone is going to understand me, it’s her.
“We suck at Thelma and Louise.”
“Yes we do.”
Jessie stares at the map a little more intently, gives up and then we find a gas station another five miles away to ask for directions. Still, with barely any clothes on, she runs in for directions. This time I stay in the truck.
“Oh my God, Alanna.” Jessie slams the door when she gets back in the truck. “It’s like another hour away, the other direction!”
“Well, I’m sorry. Apparently I can’t read a map.”
“Apparently.”
“Hey, you have a fancy phone.” I point out the obvious. “You could have turned on your navigation.”
“Well. . .when I said I packed a bag, I failed to pack electronics.”
I start laughing.
“Okay.” Jessie puts her key back in the ignition and the truck rumbles to life. “Let’s stop for food. I’m starving.”
“No. Let’s just get there.”
She gives me that look. The one where she sees right through me. “You just want to go for the dick.”
“Not true.” I’m trying to defend myself, but the flush in my cheeks gives me away. “I want to watch him ride.”
“Uh-huh. Ride you.”
By the time we get there the lights around the arena are bursting, gold and blue and shining bright over the city. It’s easy to see this is the attraction in the city. The sheer size of the event was not something I was expecting. It’s like the parking lot of a rock concert.
“I’m so excited!” I squeal giving into my girly side for a moment.
“Me too.” We change out of our sweaty clothes in the truck and Jessie starts laughing when she gets hers on. “Do you see any truckers?”
I don’t. All I see around me is lifted dirt covered t
rucks. “Nope. We’re safe.”
As I look through my bag to see what I want, Jessie’s half-dressed already and adjusting her cowboy hat. She looks amazing as usual in tight jeans, cowboy boots and a white tank top that’s got holes in the sides to reveal her perfectly golden skin. It’s tasteful, yet sexy.
The wind had done a number on my hair but with a little hair spray, it had that beach look to it. I chose my skin tight jeans with the rhinestones on the pockets and the matching buckle. When I fasten it, I immediately think of Callan last night and smile. Jessie notices, the corners of her cherry red painted lips twisting up as she applies another coat of lipstick. “What’s got you going?”
“Thinking ‘bout last night.”
“And. . .”
I peek a look at her out of the corner of my eye as I pull my black tank top on that says Let’s Ride in red writing across the chest. “Let’s just say belt buckles do more than keep your pants up.”
“Ohhhhh realllllly?” She’s completely intrigued, turning in the seat to face me as she continues to apply make-up.
I point to my tank top. “Too much?”
She reads it silently and then grins. “Nope. Perfect. Hopefully, he can read though.”
Reaching inside my bag again, I dig out all my jewelry, cuffed bracelets, earrings and the locket I always wear. It seems a little much to get dressed up, but this is Callan James I’m getting ready to see. Surely I had some competition with the buckle bunnies.
It was still well into the nineties even with the sun down and the moment we were dressed, I wanted my clothes off again. Everything was sticky and tight from the heat.
Before we get out, Jessie reaches for my hand and smiles. “I don’t care what happens next but this, us leaving together. . .” She doesn’t finish her words, maybe she can’t but the moment makes her wink. “Thank you.”
“It’s perfect.”
At that moment, it did feel perfect. It felt like for once, we did something extreme and for us. Something we were dying to do. An act of freedom. We were two girls going for our chance.
The unknown.
The adventure.
Remember Tonight Page 10