by Toby Neal
Cash’s heart pounded painfully. That terrible memory had haunted him most his life— and reminded him why he couldn’t be trusted.
He was a murderer.
Cash turned his back against Tiny’s warm bulk, squeezing his eyes shut. Never forget who you are, Luciano.
Chapter Eleven
Sunshine
Sunshine woke as a new day dawned and warm rays of light caressed her back. The dry heat felt good. She rolled away from Tiny toward it, leaving the damp, furry warmth of the dog’s coat.
Sunshine’s cotton dress was still moist and she plucked at her top, pulling it away from her body.
Cash’s clothing was perfect for this environment, breathable and made of quick-drying material. He’d offered her a pair of pants and shirt a few days ago, but they hadn’t fit. When Sunshine came back from behind the tree where she’d been trying to force the hiking pants over her wide hips, admitting that she was too big for them, Cash’s eyes had darkened with desire and he’d wrapped her in his arms, asking to kiss her. It had felt so good that Sunshine didn’t even care about being too fat to fit into his clothes.
Like last night, despite the freezing cold water and peril, it had felt great to save Tiny and give something back to Cash. He’d saved her life and accepted her just as she was, no matter how messed up and confused.
Sunshine moved to crouch by the fire. Obviously, Cash had woken to tend to it through the night. Without the flames’ warmth, they would’ve frozen. Tiny sat up and came to sit next to Sunshine as she poked the hot coals with a stick. The big dog leaned against her back and sighed.
“What a good girl,” Sunshine whispered so as not to wake Cash.
She glanced over her shoulder at him, still tucked in the silver blanket. Curled on the ground, his hands relaxed in sleep, his face looked angelic in spite of a scruff of reddish-blond beard darkening his jaw. His wheat-gold hair had curled from yesterday’s soaking, and she longed to touch its silky strands.
He’d said he was Italian. She could see that. He had the same nose as the statue of David, not to mention the chiseled body. Sunshine started at the realization that she knew what the statue of David was; she could recall photos of it easily.
Maybe she had taught art history, or maybe it was just an interest of hers. Had she been to Italy? Her body surged with delight at the idea, but knew it wasn’t true. She’d never been far from where she’d grown up. But she had always wanted to leave.
And now she was finally getting away.
Sunshine settled another log on the fire and stoked it so that it would burn hot to keep Cash warm as he slept. He needed the rest. He’d used up all his reserves yesterday. Once the fire burned well, she headed to the river to wash the sleep out of her eyes.
In the moonlight, as she’d fought to grab onto Tiny, Sunshine had caught glimpses of rough water downstream. Now, in daylight, she could see that just ahead the river foamed and swirled around large granite boulders, creating dangerous eddies and whirlpools.
Sunshine shuddered as she watched the fierce rapids. Tiny had almost been pulled into them. If Cash hadn’t seen it coming and gotten them to the riverbank, they all would’ve died.
She touched a stinging area at her waist where she had tied the rope yesterday. A red line left by the rope digging into her flesh showed when she unbuttoned the top of her dress. The sight brought a thrill of happiness. She had earned this wound; it had not been inflicted upon her.
Cash probably had some salve that would help. He was so prepared for everything.
Her stomach rumbled, and Sunshine felt a sharp pang of hunger followed by a wave of lightheadedness. Sitting down abruptly on the bank, she closed her eyes and tilted her face up to let the sun warm and sustain her.
Sunshine. God, she loved that nickname.
Under her brother’s control there had been no sunshine. All her memories were cloaked in darkness and shrouded with fear.
A rustle of footsteps drew her attention and she turned to see Cash and Tiny headed her way. Cash smiled at her, pointing his chin toward the river. “Wow, we got lucky.”
Sunshine laughed. Lucky? That was his attitude! No matter what happened, Cash stayed upbeat, and she liked that about him. “Yeah, real lucky.”
Cash sat down on the bank. Glancing over, he pointed to a few blood spots that had seeped through her dress from the rope burn. “My God, you’re hurt. Why didn’t you say something?”
“It’s nothing, and I didn’t really feel it last night. I was too numb.” She laughed again.
Cash stood up and held out his hand. “Come on, I’ve got something for that.”
“I figured you would. You’re so prepared.”
“Not prepared enough.” His voice lowered. “I don’t have enough food. I’ve got to hunt today. You can stay and keep the fire going.”
Sunshine hated the idea. What if he didn’t come back? Was he trying to get rid of her?
Cash cocked his head, looking at her expression. “What? Oh. You don’t want to be alone.”
“Am I that easy to read?”
“I don’t know,” Cash helped Sunshine up. Holding her hand, he headed back toward the fire. “But I can read you.”
His hand fit hers perfectly and their fingers twined together like tree roots.
“I know you need to hunt because we need food, but I don’t like being left behind.”
Cash turned back to her. He stepped in close, entering her personal space, his body radiating warmth as attraction sparked between them. “Then I won’t leave you.”
She looked up into deep blue eyes, filled with understanding and shadowed with desire. “Can I kiss you?”
Cash barked a laugh. “Sunshine, you never have to ask me that.” He pursed his lips comically and leaned toward her, teasing. She touched his stubbled face, running her thumb along his cheekbone, finding a tiny scar. Something from his childhood? Sunshine leaned in, her eyes drifting shut as their lips touched. His mouth softened under hers, and Cash pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist. Her hands moved along his shoulders, tracing the lines of corded muscle.
Tiny barked and Cash broke the kiss, staring into the woods. His face transformed, sharpening as his attention shifted: one moment a playful lover, the next an intent hunter.
He was so hot.
Desire pooled in Sunshine’s lower belly as she watched the narrowing of his eyes, the flare of his nostrils as sunlight hit his beard and lit it with warrior red. He looked like a Viking ready to leap from a dragon boat onto a foreign shore.
She knew history, too!
His grip on her hips tightened. “Do you hear that?”
Sunshine strained her ears: birds chirping, river rushing over stone, wind rustling dried leaves and a quiet jangling in the distance.
“Wind chimes.” Cash quickly identified the source of the jangling. “I bet there’s a cabin. Maybe it’s deserted.”
“I’m up for another B and E, if you are.” She kissed his jaw, loving the rough stubble under her lips, the quiver that passed through his muscles, rippling under her hands from just that gentle caress. He moaned and squeezed her tighter.
“Woman, what you do to me.”
“What do I do?” Her voice sounded husky, bold, confident and curious.
Cash stepped back. Evidence of what she did to him outlined under his pants.
To affect him like that filled Sunshine with a sense of power and control—feelings that she now experienced for the first time in her life.
Cash took her hand and turned toward the woods. “Let’s get you patched up and then investigate those wind chimes.”
Sunshine couldn’t wait. Maybe the cabin had a bed…
Such a slut!
Sunshine thrust the nasty, distinctive voice in her mind forcefully away. She had a right to feel good and be with someone she cared for!
They packed up and, following the sound, discovered an old shack teetering on the edge of the riverbank. Wind chimes hung from the
corner of a rickety porch decorated with two broken-down wicker rocking chairs.
One window was cracked, and the others were thick with dust. “This place hasn’t been used in a long time by the look of it. I doubt we’ll find anything useful.” Cash dropped his pack at the bottom of the porch steps and walked up to the front door.
The door fell off one set of hinges when he pulled on the knob, coming to rest on the porch at an angle. Cash poked his head in and whistled.
“What is it?”
“One hell of a view.” He gestured her forward, and Sunshine peered into the single room cabin.
A wall of windows faced the river, which fell off into a waterfall, the edge white and foaming, spray catching the sunlight and forming a rainbow. A table and two chairs, thick with dust, sat in front of the windows. A potbellied stove in one corner anchored a once-charming kitchen. A bed frame without a mattress rested against the far wall.
Maybe they could fix up this place and hide in its coziness forever.
“I’ll check the kitchen for supplies,” Cash interrupted Sunshine’s daydream.
“I’ll check the closets.”
Tiny found a sunbeam and curled up on the porch, snoring.
The kitchen held some old cooking utensils, plates, and silverware, but no food. The closet contained an old broom, a few buckets and some rags.
“Owners have to clear out all food in case of bears in the off-season. Care for a bowl of invisible soup, milady?” Cash scooped a spoonful of air from the bowl he held, and extended it to her.
She pretended to take a bite. “Delicious, milord. You should devote more time to dreaming up recipes.”
Cash snorted a laugh. “Good one. I wish it were that easy.”
Sunshine stood in the doorway and gestured toward Tiny. “She likes it here.”
Cash came up behind Sunshine and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. He took a deep breath then let it out with a satisfied sigh as he rubbed his ticklish stubble against her neck and planted a warm kiss at the base of her ear. Sunshine leaned against him and linked her hands with his.
“It’s a pretty great spot.” Cash’s stomach grumbled against her back, and she laughed. “What?” he kissed her neck again. “You don’t find that romantic?”
She laughed again and he tickled her ribs, making her giggle and jump.
“You go hunting,” she panted as he held her close again. “I’ll stay here. I like it here. Maybe I can forage something in the woods nearby.”
“You know how to forage?”
“I think I do.”
“Okay.” He gazed into her eyes, his voice unsure. “Just don’t eat anything until you clear it with me, okay?”
“Not even the red mushrooms covered in spots?” The words popped out. That was a joke about poisonous mushrooms. She must actually know something about foraging.
“Not even those,” Cash laughed.
A few minutes later Tiny and Cash headed out. He carried his bow and knives and a small net backpack. His movements were graceful and practiced. Energy filled his steps. Her hero was on a mission to get them dinner. She watched the two disappear into the trees.
Suddenly Sunshine’s heart stuttered and her body surged with fear. Was he abandoning her?
Sunshine shook her head. No, Cash would return. His camping backpack still rested on the porch.
Carrying a dusty basket from the kitchen, she set out into the woods with a small knife she found in the utensils. Sunlight dappled the forest floor, and she soon came upon a patch of ferns. Some of them were new: small, tightly wound fiddleheads. She plucked one and sniffed it. Memories coalesced in her mind’s eye: sizzling in butter, their green, nutty smell filling the room.
Yes, they could eat these.
Filling the basket with all she could find, along with pinecones she was sure held nuts, Sunshine headed back to the cabin. She fetched water at the river and set the fiddleheads to soak in a stainless steel bowl, allowing dirt and forest matter to sift out from between the tightly wound leaves.
While they soaked, she sat in a beam of sunlight on the front porch and banged the pinecones on a rock until they yielded their tiny kernels of treasure. They would taste delicious sautéed with the fiddleheads.
Sunshine set about cleaning up the cabin as the day warmed. Sunlight streamed in through the wall of windows as she wiped them down with old newspaper she discovered by the potbellied stove. It felt good to wash away the dust that had accumulated over time, to see the table shine again, and the wooden floorboards glow with her efforts.
Sunshine felt useful. Even if they only stayed here long enough to eat the ferns, pine nuts and whatever Cash brought home, bringing the old cabin back to life wasn’t wasted energy.
The shadows grew longer as the sun moved toward the horizon. Finally Cash and Tiny emerged from the forest, their bodies in sync, the brown, grays and fawns of their clothing and fur a part of the landscape. These two belonged in the wild.
Sunshine stepped out onto the porch and waved. Cash’s teeth flashed in a wide grin as he held up two rabbits. “For you, milady. I wish we’d caught more, but we were a little tired today.” Tiny barked and pranced next to him, clearly proud of their efforts, and hungry.
Sunshine curtsied. “Thank you, your lordship. I will prepare pine nuts and fiddleheads to accompany the roast rabbit.”
“Yum.” Cash bounded onto the porch and stood before her. She tilted her chin up to look at him and they stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, grinning like teenagers. Sunshine wanted to say something, communicate to him how much it meant to her that he had returned, but all she could do was smile.
“I would kiss you silly right now if I weren’t holding two dead rabbits.” His voice was a low rasp.
Sunshine giggled. “I think I’m already silly.” The lightheadedness of hunger definitely had that effect—or was it just being close to Cash?
They started a fire in the stove. Sunshine found a cast iron pan and Cash gave her some fat from the rabbits for sautéing the fiddleheads as he butchered the rabbits. He cooked one of them over the open fire in the fireplace, giving the other to Tiny, raw, once it had been deboned. The big dog happily tore it to shreds on the porch.
Their meal prepared, Cash and Sunshine sat at the wobbly old table overlooking the river and waterfall. They ate the rabbit and forest greens using the cabin’s dishes. Sunshine moaned and closed her eyes to savor as she chewed a bite of tender meat. “Oh, Cash. This is so good!”
When she opened her eyes Cash stared at her, his eyes hot with hunger of another kind. He looked down at his plate abruptly, eating rapidly. Having finished much quicker than Sunshine, he looked out to the river, frowning slightly. “We have to keep moving toward the Haven. It’s getting colder every day.”
“I know.” Sunshine slowly took another bite, unwilling to be done with the delicious dinner too soon.
Cash’s voice was rough with some suppressed emotion. “I found a road.”
“That’s good news. There must be a town nearby.”
“The thing is, since the outbreak of the Scorch Flu, civilization isn’t what it used to be.” Sunshine nodded, frowning, and Cash continued. “But I think we should risk it. We can’t live off ferns and rabbit forever.”
Why can’t we?
Sunshine looked around the tiny cabin. It needed repairs, but it was cozy, warm and sturdy. She wished they could stay in this bubble forever, just the three of them. Her brother would never find them here.
Cash finished off the last of his food and stood, placing his dirty plate and utensils into the sink. “The sun will set soon, and I don’t want to be out in the dark. No point doing dishes. We should get going.”
Sunshine finished off her last bite, the delicious taste turning to sand in her mouth at his tone. She swallowed it anyway, knowing she needed the fuel. “I can’t leave the place a mess. It’s been too good to us. Can’t we spend the night here, in a real shelt
er?”
Cash didn’t answer, just went out to the porch and started repacking his pack.
The water wasn’t running, but Sunshine had brought several buckets of water from the river. She used it to rinse the plates, placing them on the sideboard to dry. She cleaned the cast iron pan, tears prickling her eyes.
“Let’s go,” Cash called from the doorway. “It’s getting late.”
A breeze blew in, bringing with it the scent of late autumn. Sunshine shivered, blinking back tears. She wanted to live with Cash forever in this hideaway in the woods, but he could have any woman. Why would he want a confused, mutilated skinhead like her?
But she wasn’t a skinhead. “That was my brother,” she whispered. “Not me.” The insight was a bright golden nugget in the collection of memories and knowledge she had collected.
They set off into the forest and within a half-hour reached a country road with cracked pavement and faded lane markers. Shadows grew long as the temperature dropped. Cash hadn’t said a word, nor so much as touched her hand.
Anxiety churned in Sunshine’s gut. What had happened? What did she do to make him withdraw so completely? “What’s wrong?”
Cash glanced at her, his mouth tight and brow furrowed. “I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea about us.”
“What does that mean?” Sunshine’s heart thudded, fear spiraling upward and causing her meager meal to roil in her gut.
“I’m not who you think I am.”
“I don’t understand.”
Cash stopped and turned to her, fiddling with the straps on his pack. “I’m not…”
They were interrupted by the harsh sound of a shotgun racking. Tiny barked in warning, moving protectively in front of them. Startled, Sunshine’s gaze flew down the road toward the sound.
Three men stepped out of the woods and blocked their way.
Cash moved to stand in front of Sunshine, thrusting her behind him as Tiny stalked forward, a low growl emanating from the huge dog’s chest.
“What do you want?” the man with the shotgun asked. Dressed in stained work overalls, a greasy ball cap pulled low over his eyes, he spit on the ground. “Better talk fast, before we start shooting.”