by K Larsen
“It’s okay, I’ve got you, love.” I open my eyes slowly. Blink. My eyes roam. I lift a hand to the face.
“Mom?” I feel too desperate to be sane.
A sharp yelp of joy rips from her throat. Tears stream down her face as she nods. She bends down, kisses my forehead and cheeks in a frenzied fury. I wrap my arms around her neck and hold tight, silent tears leaking from my eyes.
“Where am I?”
“Oh God, baby, you’re alive. You’re alive and okay.”
“Where am I? Where’s Mike?” I ask.
She’s crying and laughing and kissing me, and even though I have no idea what’s happening, I’m overwrought with emotion to be holding my mom in my arms.
“Mike?” She pulls back and looks at me.
“Yeah. Mike. You’ve met him.” Concern washes over her face.
“Honey, you were dropped in front of the Emergency Room alone. The doctor thinks it was a—”
“Snake bite,” I finish for her.
She nods furiously. “Yes.”
“How’d they know who I was if I was alone?” My body aches from lack of use and my mind whirls.
She pets my forearm. “You’ve been here a little over a week, unconscious. A few days ago, one of the nurses noticed your missing person flyer here and immediately called the tip-line. I came as soon as they called me.” She squeezes me to her.
A week. I’ve been here over a week. “Where is here?”
“Tucson. Northwest Medical Center.”
“What?!”
“Calm down. They will need to run a few tests but then you should be cleared to be discharged and we can go home.”
I can’t make sense of what’s happening. Where is Mike? What happened? I remember the snake bite, and dinner, and I was fine, and the flight lesson. I remember the way his hand felt in mine while we laid on the beach staring at the stars and then … something happened. I can’t quite place it in my mind but right now home is a funny notion. Overwhelming confusion assaults me as I strain to remember what happened.
15
Mike
“Calm down, baby,” Liam says into his cell. “I can’t understand you with all the squealing.”
I raise my brows at him. He lifts his index finger at me. We’re at his beach house, day drinking, while he tries to convince me to donate to N.E.L., Nora, Eve and Lotte’s foundation. I like toying with him. It’s amusing to make him think he’s working for it. He’s not. To be clear—Aubry’s had me donating large sums of cash for the last year. But, because I’m friends with them all—I always do it anonymously. I take a sip of my beer and knock on the table to get Liam’s attention.
“Nora. Hang on. Slow down.” His eyes shift from the ceiling to me and I tap my watch. “Yeah. Okay. Love you too.” He hits end and looks to me. A grin spreads over his face.
“Aubry woke up.” I stare at him slack jawed. He waves a hand in front of my face. “Hey, dickhead—did you hear me?”
I nod and stand. “I gotta go.” If I’m a cigarette, Aubry’s nicotine. I crave her. The hold she has over me isn’t one I want to kick. Being an addict never felt so right.
“Wait, I’m meeting Nora at the hospital. Let’s drive together.”
“My car then,” I say halfway to the door. “Hurry up, man.”
Liam’s brows rocket to his hairline. “You know, for a dude who isn’t dating her—you sure exhibit the traits of a boyfriend.”
“You’re picking now to give me shit?” I ask. Liam smiles and grabs a jacket off the hooks by the door.
She’s awake. My heart pounds against my ribs. The things I told her. My secrets—exposed. Fuck. She can’t talk. I push those thoughts from my head. She’s awake. I’ve wanted, hoped for, nothing else over the last week. It’s been torturous waiting for updates. I had to wait for the hospital to identify her. Wait for Aubry’s mom to get the call that she was alive. I had to wait for that news to get passed down to me. I couldn’t fuck this up. I practiced my reaction to the news over and over. And again, I waited while they transported her to our local hospital.
I’d stared at her body, so helpless and sweet, lying there in the jungle. I held her hand. I begged her to follow my voice, to wake up. When she didn’t, I lost my shit.
I watch every millimeter of her flood with relief when she sees me in the doorway of her room, Tiffany-blue eyes; her stained, rosy cheeks; her greasy black hair, limp. Her smile falters as I approach.
“I’ve been waiting for you.” She’s tapping at her mouth with her fingers. Her shoulders rise; she bites her lip and raises her eyebrows in a pantomime of excitement but I don’t understand why.
“I came as soon as Nora called,” I say and nod at Nora. I sit on the foot of the bed and rub her shin over the thin hospital blanket. Aubry looks from Nora to her mom then me.
“What happened? Why did you leave me in Tucson?” Her voice is faint, her hand's at her throat in that way she does when she's agitated. Just the sight of her eyes, looking into mine causes a bubble of hot poison in between my thighs. Now’s not the time to confess.
I will soon though.
“I don’t know, babe.” Nora shakes her head at me discreetly but I don’t know why. “We were hoping you could answer those questions for us,” I say.
A look of real distress begins to creep into Aubry’s expression. I stand at that awkward angle, neck craned down and wonder what to say as her voice begins to break into a full, throaty sob.
“Shit,” I mumble and sneak a surreptitious look at her before looking to Liam, who only shrugs. Nora pushes past Liam, her movements jerky and rushed. She tugs at the back of my shirt on her way past.
“Uh, I’ll be right back, Aub. I’m so happy you’re back though.”
She crosses her arms over her chest, looks right into my eyes. Her bird-blue eyes, her dark, sleek hair reflecting the afternoon sun, it’s almost too much to take. Words fail me. My voice gets lost in the recesses of my throat. The breath in my lungs freezes. I look at her over my shoulder on the way out. She gives me a twisty little smile. A smile that I don’t understand. Like a secret I’m not privy to and dread fills my belly.
In the hallway, Nora paces. I close Aubry’s door behind me and stand in Nora’s path to stop her.
“What?” The door opens and closes again and Liam is staring at Nora, hands stuffed in his pockets.
“Angela said she woke up and immediately started asking for you.” Nora pins me with her glare. Her arms gesture wildly, whipping through the air. “She said you saved her from the Russians. From them selling her. She thinks you saved her and all this time you’ve had her stashed in a jungle somewhere.” The words are tense and tight, Nora’s face lined in worry. “Well?” she demands, hands planted on her hips.
“Well what?” I answer.
“Mike, she thinks you saved her. She believes it. What are you going to tell her?”
I shrug because I don’t know. “The truth.”
Nora shakes her head. “No.”
“Maybe you should call Dr. Richardson. Have her come in and visit with Aubry.” I shoot him a grateful look. Liam’s suggestion alleviates a bit of my unease. Nora’s eyes light up. She’s nodding and holding out her hand for a phone. Liam hands his over and she’s off. Pacing down the hall, phone already pressed to her ear.
“Should we go back in? I don’t know what to do.” I shove my hands in my jeans pockets. Liam tears his eyes from Nora’s receding outline to focus on me.
“Maybe right now you should hang out in the waiting room.”
“I want…” My words halt as I search for the right ones. Disappointment bulges at my seams.
Liam opens his mouth but pauses, a heartbeat of time passes before he speaks. “Just for now. Until Dr. Richardson can get here and let us know what's best for Aubry.”
What’s best for Aubry. What’s best for Aubry… that’s all I want.
16
Aubry
I let out a tight laugh as I realize I am s
afe. Nora’s eyes are filled with tears of joy. I grin at her because despite what she thinks about herself, she is so beautiful when she’s emotional. Liam is rubbing her shoulders as she holds my hand. Her thumb passes back and forth on my skin in a soothing manner. They cleared me to be transferred from Northwest Medical Center in Tucson to my home town hospital. I’m not being discharged for a few days because of atrophy. Of all things to keep me from getting back to life, I never would have considered atrophy to be the culprit but the doctors in Tucson released me pending care and physical therapy for seventy-two hours here at home.
“Where’s Mike?” A furtive glance bounces between Nora, Liam and my mom. “What is going on?”
“Aubry, just rest. Mike will be back soon. Lotte and Aimee will be here any minute.” Panic rises in my throat. Everyone is being strange. Every time I’ve brought up Mike to my mother, she’s wrinkled her face at me and avoided the subject. No one seems to believe that he is the only person who could have brought me to the hospital.
“Oh, did he go to pick them up?” Why wasn’t he here with me when I woke up? How did I even end up there? I have questions for him. So many questions. It’s frustrating to try and put them off. Even though being home and seeing the faces of those I love surrounding me makes my chest fill with gratitude, I still feel ripples of fear.
“How’re you feeling?” my mom’s voice cracks. I take a moment to regard her. It’s hard to do much more than roll my head from side to side. My muscles are weak and tired. I tried to drink some water but couldn’t quite grip the cup enough, so Mom helped me. She looks tired and worn out. She looks like a hangover feels.
“I feel ok. Sore but ok.”
The door opens and briefly I smile, anticipating Mike’s return and Aimee and Lotte’s faces.
“Dr. Burns, hello,” Mom says as he enters. He lifts a hand in greeting before focusing on me.
“Aubry, it’s good to finally meet you.” Finally? I nod because it’s the polite thing to do and shyly smile at him. “We need to run a few tests and start some physical therapy, but it’s likely you will be discharged within the week. Do you have any specific questions for me?”
Yes, I think, lots, but I pick the most urgent one. “What exactly happened to me?” I watch Dr. Burns brow furrow.
“I’m sorry, I thought you’d already been told.” He’s talking to me but looking at Mom and Nora which irritates me. Hello, I’m right here, dickwad … “A Coral snake bit you. You were treated just in the nick of time it looks like. Any longer and the antivenom treatment wouldn’t have been effective. I don’t know much about Coral snakes. They’re not native to these parts.”
“A snake bite?” He nods. I rub my temples.
“And Mike. Was he the one who let them know what the snake looked like? So they could identify it?”
“No,” my mom says. “Mike wasn’t there. He was here with us, Aubry. All week.”
“That’s impossible.”
Nora lets go of my hand. “It’s the truth, Aub.” She shakes her head, sending long red strands floating in the air.
“Nora, I told you the truth. I told you who had me. I told you Mike saved me. Just two days ago, I was in the jungle with him. What I don’t know is what the hell happened that last night and how the hell I ended up in Tucson.” I touch my head, which now throbs, as if my brain actually hurts from thinking too much.
I can hear them. They don’t realize it but they aren’t particularly quiet. Possible brain damage. Delirium. Confusion. Coma side effects. I close my eyes in an attempt to calm my raging pulse. I am none of those things. I was very present for what happened to me, thank you very much. I need Mike. I need to talk to him alone. Is he covering something up? Is this a strategically crafted story to keep me safe? The door makes that hideous squeak it’s prone to as it opens. Aimee pokes her head in. I push aside all my frustration and wave her in.
“Tell me everything I missed.”
Aimee shrugs out of her backpack and drops into the outdated, ugly chair and yawns covering her mouth with the back of her wrist, “I have a research paper, four midterm projects, a thirty-pound backpack and the onset of a sore throat. There, now you’re up-to-date.” She makes a face at me.
I press my lips together in an attempt to fight a smile because I don’t feel like smiling right now. But it is so good to hear her voice, to see her in the flesh and to be talked to like I haven’t lost my mind.
“Wow,” I comment.
“Tell me about it.” She slouches in her seat and pouts at me. For the first time since waking up here I feel like a weight has lifted from my shoulders. “I probably shouldn't even be in here with you. Mom says you’re having issues.”
A laugh bursts from my lungs. “Don’t we all?”
Aimee sighs. “I missed you, Aub.”
“I missed you too. Now tell me honestly, how bad do I look?”
She looks me over, eyes roaming from my waist upward. “Pretty bad. They had to shave a small patch of your hair—don’t ask because I don’t know why. Something to do with the snake bite and being unconscious for a week, oh and you’re grossly thin.”
“My hair?” I squawk. A hand darts to my head and fumbles around. To my horror there is a shaved patch on my left side, above my ear. “Shitballs. Oh my God, Aimee, what do I do?”
Aimee’s eyes are huge as she leans forward. “Let it grow back?” she states meekly as she places her hand on mine. If my muscles worked and I had the energy I’d punch her right in her pretty, sarcastic mouth.
“Not helpful.” Aimee smiles reassuringly but it honestly doesn’t reassure me at all.
“It’s not that bad because it’s on the underside. You can rock it. Think Ruby Rose or some other badass woman.”
I frown and drop my hand back to the bed. “How’s Mom really doing?”
She looks over her shoulder to the door and back. “Bad. You were missing for months before you turned up in Tucson. She didn’t eat. She didn’t do her work. She didn’t do anything until she got that call from Arizona. Since then, she’s practically been glued to your side.”
“Wait, months? How long was I gone?”
Aimee shoots me a look of confusion before squeezing her eyes shut and sniffling. She doesn’t say any more. The door squeaks again. Lotte.
“Hey.” She hesitates in the threshold.
“Come in. Sit.” She strides confidently to me and envelopes me in a hug.
“I am so freakin’ happy you’re back,” she whispers into my ear. She pulls back, takes me in and then settles onto the foot of the bed. “I want to catch up and visit, but Eve says now’s not the time so I popped in to grab my book.”
“Your book?”
“Yeah, from Aimee,” she says. Her blonde hair bounces as she nods her head. Aimee digs through her bag and hands the book to Lotte.
“What are you reading?” I reach for it and examine the cover. A shirtless, ripped, set of abs surrounded by jungle foliage. A bird tattooed on his heart. I squint at it confused. My muscles are atrophied to the point where I can't hold the book in front of my face. The exertion too hard. I drop my hands to my lap, book still clutched in them and blink at Lotte. “It’s steamy.” Lotte gives a little snort and takes the book from me. “But I’m almost finished and dying to know how it ends. So.” She shrugs, “you know, figured while I wait for the appropriate time.” She uses air quotes to emphasize her point, “I’d finish it.”
17
Aubry
“Hi Aubry,” Dr. Richardson says as she one arm hugs me. “I’m so very happy you’re back.”
My belly flips and I feel a rush of panic at the sight of her that turns my insides to ice.
I half smile.
“Thank you. It’s nice you came to visit.” A quick, automatic response.
“I’m going to head home, love. I’ll shower, pick up Aimee from school and come back, ok?” Mom’s voice sounds tired. I look to my mom and nod. I don’t miss the distressed look my mother gives Dr. Ric
hardson before she kisses my forehead goodbye. Dr. Richardson sits in the chair that just housed my mom and waits for the door to click shut before saying anything. It unnerves me.
Her loose curls are pinned back from her face today and I realize that Dr. R is quite pretty when she tries. Usually, she looks a bit ragged. But maybe that comes with her job. Listening to other people's problems day in and day out must wear on a person. Regardless, I feel queasy and distrustful and I wonder if this is how Nora felt when they started their therapy together?
“How are you?” she asks.
I shrug. “Tired. Weak. But good otherwise.” She nods while pulling out a notebook and pen. “This isn’t a visit, is it? Why are you here?”
She stares at me, gathering her words. “Nora asked me to come.”
Traitor. “Why?”
“How ‘bout this? Why don’t you tell me about the day you disappeared? What do you remember leading up to that?”
“How is that helpful?” I cross my arms over my chest.
“Well, the more you cooperate, the faster we can sort this all out. Wouldn’t you like to know what’s going on?”
“I’d like to know why everyone is lying to me. Especially Mike.”
She tilts her head and scribbles notes on her pad. “Lying?”
My throat closes around a scream that I don’t let out. “Listen, a week ago I was in the jungle. Three days ago, I wake up in a hospital in Tucson and now I’m confined to a hospital at home. I’d like to know how that happened.”