Need to Love You

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Need to Love You Page 13

by Megan Smith


  He doesn’t respond only gets up off the recliner, grabs something that looks like one of my shirts, and tosses it on the ground then lays on floor using it as a pillow.

  “Hello?”

  “Yeah?”

  “What was the point of asking that?”

  Jackson yawns. “I was just wondering.”

  Sighing, I roll over onto my side facing the opposite direction of Jackson. Hopefully, he’ll go to sleep now that he seems to be comfortable, or better yet, leave.

  For the rest of the night I’m wide awake, my mind working overtime, thinking about all the reasons Jackson would have asked a question like that. I can hear his soft snores from his place on the floor. At least one of us is getting some sleep tonight.

  Jackson

  “You ask her yet?” Jake asked me for the hundredth time.

  “Not yet, I’ve only seen her for like five minutes today.”

  I thought it was a given that whoever you’re dating at the time is your date to prom but it appears that I’m wrong. Jake’s girlfriend, Sarah, who also happens to be friends with Chloe, informed me yesterday at lunch that I had to ask her. I couldn’t just assume she’d go with me and that I might want to do it soon because she heard that Tommy was going to ask her. I about freaked the fuck out and went after him in gym class but Jake talked me down and said to do it before he could and there wouldn’t be a problem.

  “Do it, man.”

  The bell rang as I grabbed a book from my locker. “I’ve got study hall with her now. I’ll do it then.”

  Jake punched my shoulder as he walked towards his classroom. “Talk to you later.”

  “Later.”

  I made it to the library with a second to spare before the final bell rang. I took my normal seat in the back corner but I was surprised to see that Chloe wasn’t there. Sometimes I know she’d stay to help a teacher with a special assignment so I assumed that’s where she was.

  A few minutes into study hall the door to the library opened. Chloe stepped in holding a dozen roses. I immediately stood up and stormed over to her. “What the hell are those?”

  She hushed me then looked over my shoulder to see if anyone had heard me. “I got cornered by Tommy on my way here.”

  “And?”

  She looked down at the flowers and shrugged. “He asked me to prom.”

  “You said no, right?”

  “Of course.”

  I took the roses from her and tossed them in the nearest trash can. “Good because you’re going with me, right?”

  Chloe wouldn’t look me in the eyes.

  “Chloe?”

  She walked away from me and headed towards our table. When I sat down she looked at me and said, “I’m not going to prom at all.”

  “The hell if you aren’t, you’re going with me.”

  She took a seat. “I can’t go, my parents won’t let me. They said it’s a waste of time and that time would be better spent studying for my SAT.”

  “You took your SAT last year.”

  “I know but they’re making me take them again to see if I can get a higher score. They said it would look better on college applications.”

  I never liked Chloe’s parents. They were always so hard on her and never let her do anything the rest of us were doing in school. No homecomings, no dances, no senior trip, and no proms. It was always all work and no play.

  “Well, that fucking sucks.”

  “Jackson,” Chloe looked around. “Stop cursing so much.”

  That was another thing, Chloe hardly cursed, it was being disrespectful. Granted, she was right when it was being used at someone but I had enough respect not to do that.

  “I guess I’m not going either then.”

  “You have to go, it’s senior year.”

  “And what, go by myself? Yeah, that ain’t happening.”

  “Why don’t you ask Linda?” Chloe tries saying with a straight face. “I know she’d love to go with you.”

  I balled up a piece of paper and threw it at her. “You’d like to see that wouldn’t you?”

  Chloe dodged the paper ball. “She’s had the biggest crush on you since the second grade.”

  “Don’t remind me.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “I told you, I’m not going now either. If I can’t go with you I’d rather not go at all.”

  She gave me a lopsided grin. “Have I told you how much I really like you?”

  I winked. “I think you’re exact words were ‘I love you, Jackson.’”

  Chloe laughed. “It’s true.”

  “I know.”

  By the time prom rolled around I was pretty bummed that I wasn’t going with Chloe and so was she. We made plans for her to tell her parents she was sleeping at a friend’s house and I was going to pick her up around the corner from her parents’ house. Together, along with her friend Sarah and her boyfriend, we went to my parents’ beach house in Seaside Heights. Both girls’ parents thought that they were at each other’s houses, it was the perfect lie. I was honest with my parents and told them the truth. I found out the hard way that it was better to be honest than lie. Before I left my dad sat me down and gave me the rules, no drinking and driving, no getting arrested, and no sex. He tried to say that last one without any show of emotion but he failed. He wasn’t stupid; he knew what prom weekend was all about but to appease my mom he added that in there.

  I was drumming my fingers against the steering wheel waiting for Chloe to come around the corner. She should have been here five minutes ago with the way she hates to be late for everything.

  “Where is she?” Sarah asked from the back seat.

  “She’ll be here in a second.” And just as the words left my mouth Chloe came around the corner. “See,” I said pointing to her.

  Chloe ran towards us. I pushed the passenger door open for her. “Whew, I didn’t think I was going to make it out of the house. My parents were waiting at the front door for Sarah to pull up. I made a run for it when they said they were going to eat dinner before it got too cold.”

  “Well, let’s get the hell out of here then,” Sarah cheered from the backseat.

  Chloe threw her head back and laughed. “Let’s go!”

  Later that night when we arrived I showed Sarah and her boyfriend Rob around the house and then showed them what room they were staying in. After Chloe and I stored our stuff in my room I took Chloe out to the old pier down the road a little ways away.

  I put the car in park when we arrived. “Wow, look at this view.”

  I sat up in my seat. “It’s awesome, right? I’ve come here a few times. Come on, let’s get out.”

  I met Chloe around the front of the car. The headlights were still on and we could just hear the radio playing over the sound of the waves crashing. I held my hand out, “Dance with me.”

  She took my hand laughing. “You’re crazy.”

  “About you.”

  “Awe, Jackson.”

  I shrugged it off knowing that probably sounded corny. “You didn’t get to go to prom so this is the best I could do.”

  Chloe wrapped her arms around my neck, rested the side of her face against mine. “It is the best,” she whispered.

  Much later that night when most of the people on the east coast were sound asleep I led Chloe back to the house and into my bed. I had no intention of having sex with Chloe, although, I was kind of hoping we would. We’ve messed around more times than I could count but there was always something stopping me from going further. A time or two I actually had to leave the room or had to take a walk to cool off.

  We were both lying in my bed, the music playing softly in the back ground, and the only light coming into the room was from the moon. Our clothes soon came off; our heavy breathing was louder than the music when Chloe said the words I’ve wanted to hear for a long time.

  “I want to have sex with you.”

  I was on top of her; we were grinding against each other when her wor
ds brought me to a stop. “You’re sure?”

  Chloe nodded. “Yeah.”

  Suddenly I was a nervous wreck. I’ve never had sex with anyone. I was worried that I would embarrass myself before we even got a quarter of the way into it. Could I actually do this?

  “Jackson, you’re shaking.”

  I looked everywhere but at her. I was totally freaking the hell out. “Just give me a minute.” I rolled off her and out of bed. I fumbled around looking for my jeans. I had a condom in my wallet and even some in my bag just in case tonight came to this. Finally, I found my jeans, took out my wallet and grabbed the condom.

  “You’re sure about this? We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

  Chloe leans up on her knees, naked in the center of my bed and all thoughts and doubts vanished. She looked like a goddess. “I’m positive, now come back over here.”

  Not needing to be told twice I followed her orders.

  That night we each gave a piece of ourselves over to the other. I don’t know if she had any regrets about having sex but I know I didn’t. It wasn’t great sex, hell, I don’t even think it lasted five minutes but it was a piece of us now.

  The rest of the weekend away was mostly spent in my bed, naked, and having some of the best sex I’ve ever had. The only time we left was to get something to eat and more condoms.

  “Jackson,” I hear Chloe calling my name but I’m enjoying my dream too much to wake up.

  “Get up!” She taps me with her foot.

  Finally opening my eyes, I see that she’s showered and the room is way too sunny. I have to admit though, that was the longest amount of time I’ve slept since our fight. It feels really good.

  “Jesus,” Chloe pulls the blanket off the bed and tosses it on me. “You’re son is going to come in here any minute to see you with morning wood. That’s nice, Jackson, real nice.”

  “I see that the cold Chloe is back,” I say grumbling as I turn onto my side. My dream officially ruined, morning wood taken care of.

  “What are you doing? Get up, go home. I’ll meet you there in a little bit.”

  I sit up, my body screaming from sleeping on the hard ass floor. “You’re not going to meet me anywhere. You’re going to come back home with me now.”

  Chloe sits down on the bed. “Jackson, the last thing I want to do is fight with you here. Please just go back to the house, let me get Alex some breakfast and then I’ll come over. I’ll be a half-hour, tops.”

  “You don’t want anyone to know that I’m here, do you?”

  Chloe’s head falls forward resting on her chest, “I just don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression.”

  “Wrong impression, you’re still my wife. If we decided to stop fighting and have a little make-up sex it’s not the end of the world. And anyway, who cares what anyone thinks? We’re adults.”

  “Fine,” Chloe caves. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

  She closes the door behind her. Is she really worried about what my parents would think about me sneaking into sleep beside my wife? Hardly, my mom would probably be cheering if she knew. Not wanting to steer our talk in the wrong direction before it even gets started I sneak out the window, slide down the column on the porch to the railing and then jump down to the ground. I’m surprised I’ve still got that in me especially after my night sleeping on the floor. I reach into my jeans and pull my keys out to head home.

  Just like Chloe promised, she arrived a half-hour after I left. It was enough time for me to get home and take a shower. I walk over to the coffee pot and pour some into a mug. “Want some?” I offer.

  “No, thanks, I’m good. How come you left?”

  I rip open a sugar packet and empty it into my mug. “I didn’t want to start fighting before we even had a chance to talk.”

  “You’re mom saw you leaving anyway so it didn’t matter.”

  I shrug still not caring if anyone knew where I was last night.

  “You wanted to talk so let’s get to it,” she cuts right to the chase.

  “Right to the point, huh?”

  Chloe narrows her eyes at me. “It’s the reason I came here.”

  “Fine, I’ll get right to it.” I set the mug on the counter. “I want you and Alex to come back home. Give us a chance to work things out.”

  Chloe leans back against the fridge and shakes her head. “Have you talked to this Ally or whatever her name is and returned her purse to her?”

  “Yes, she has her purse back,” I answer stalling because I so do not want to have this fight that I know is about to come.

  She continues to fire questions. “How did it even get in there in the first place?”

  “She forgot it.”

  Chloe’s eyes turn icy. “Why was she even in your truck?”

  It’s time to come clean with everything. I nod my head towards the kitchen table. “Sit and I’ll explain everything.” We take a seat around the table. “I know you said you didn’t believe me before when you tried asking me what happened that night. I fucked up by not just coming clean.” I shake my head. “I panicked because I knew it seemed really bad. Plus, I was already in the dog house after saying those shitty things to you.”

  “You’re still in the dog house,” she reminds me.

  “Anyway, I didn’t know up until this week how Ally’s purse got in my truck.”

  She tilts her head to the side. “What do you mean up until this week?” She puts her hands up, huffing. “You know none of this would have happened if you just went out to dinner with me, Alex and your parents that night.”

  “I know, Chloe. I fucked up.” My sister’s words replay in my head, ‘If you want them fight for them.’ “Back to what I was saying, the reason I didn’t ask Ally about that night was because I didn’t actually give the purse to her. I gave it to her sister to return it to her.”

  She mumbles, “This story seems to be getting better and better.”

  I take a sip of my coffee trying to stall for time. It’s something that any other time wants to crawl by when I’m at work or late at night when I’m sleeping alone.

  I sigh, giving up. “I’m going to start from the very beginning, but hear me all the way out.” I take a deep breath. “I woke up at Cooper’s house not remembering how I got there at first until I remembered I took a cab. After we got into that fight and left I called over to Oceans to find out if my car was there. It was, so I called Hunter and he gave me a ride over to get it. When I got in the truck I noticed the purse when I was pulling out. I went through it, called the last number—”

  “Which happened to be your number,” Chloe points out.

  “Yeah, I mean the number after mine. I called to let her know I had Ally’s. No one answered though so I left a message.” And here is where she might flip the fuck out but she needs to know everything. I can’t hide anything else. “When we took Alex to school that first day and you mentioned his teacher’s name I kind of put two and two together that—”

  Chloe pinches the bridge of her nose. “Please tell me his teacher is not Ally.”

  Shaking my head I continue. “No, but she’s her sister.” Chloe’s eyes slowly close and open, everything I just said is sinking in. “When I went back to pick up Alex that day I went out on a limb and asked her if she was Ally, that’s when I learned that she’s her sister. I gave her the purse to return to Ally.”

  “How embarrassing,”

  I grip the mug between my hands. I feel like just crushing it. “I feel like sorry isn’t even enough to say but I am very sorry about all of this.”

  “You’re sorry?” Chloe screeches. “I see that woman every day, Jackson! How could you not tell me before now?”

  “I’ve been trying but you wouldn’t hear any of it.”

  Chloe’s face flushes and her hands ball into fists. “This is just great.”

  “What did you want me to do?”

  She looks away from me, eyes raging. “I want that whole night to just go away and none of this t
o ever have happened.”

  We sit in silence for a couple of minutes. I’m hoping she cools off just a bit before I have to drop the other bomb on her.

  Chloe’s the first to break the silence though. “I still need answers, Jackson. I need to hear the whole story.”

  “Alright,” so I pick up where I left off and explain every single detail to Chloe. I make sure not to leave a single thing out. She hasn’t said a single word the whole time but her facial expressions tell me everything. She’s angry, hurt, disgusted, and disappointed in me. Knowing her well enough I know that’s all directed at me and not what happened.

  I laid it all out on the line for her; I have nothing else to hide. She knows everything now.

  Chloe glances at my phone that I left on the counter by the coffee pot. “I’ll call her for you. She’ll tell you the exact same story I just did.”

  She crosses her arms over her chest and has a sour look on her face. “She works there now?”

  I nod.

  “And you don’t see anything wrong with that?”

  “I never said that. I told you that it feels like a cruel joke.”

  Chloe looks down at the table. “I don’t like it.”

  “I wouldn’t expect you to.”

  She glances back up at me. “How do you know she’s telling the truth? It seems a little far-fetched. I mean, you don’t remember helping her climb out the window, running out of the bar or even that guy pulling you out of the truck?”

  I scratch at my chin. “It does seem that way, I know. The ending of her story matches up with what Aubrey and I heard from her first.” I sit up in my chair. “I’ve been watching her for the last three days around work. I’ve been waiting to see if she slips up the story or anything but she hasn’t.”

  Chloe puts her elbows on the table and rests her head in her hands. “Jesus.”

  I reach across the table and run my thumb gently up her arm. I’m a little shocked she hasn’t pulled away.

  “Aside from dancing, you really don’t think you could have kissed her or did something else?”

 

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