by Megan Smith
“I’m free.” I’d have a repeat of this lunch break any day, any time.
When we arrive back at my work I stop the truck in front of Chloe’s car. She leans over to kiss me goodbye. “I love you.” Then she kisses me once more.
“I love you too.”
After she climbs out of the truck I notice Ally standing outside smoking a cigarette watching us. A little smile hints at my lips. Chloe was staking her claim making sure that Ally saw exactly what she did.
The rest of work flies by because of my pending appointment with Dr. Russell that I’m dreading. Sitting on this all too familiar blue sofa once again, Dr. Russell jumps right back in to where we left off yesterday.
“How are you feeling today?”
“Peachy.”
She jots something in that Godforsaken notebook again.
“What do you keep writing in there?”
She smiles, “Things that help me help you.”
Whatever the hell that means.
“Let’s go back to these panic attacks. You said that when you feel like you’re going to fail at something that it causes one to come on. What triggered it yesterday?”
I clear my throat. Maybe talking and getting this over with will get her to leave me alone again. “When you told me I wasn’t seeing the problem with Chloe.”
“You think because I said that that you’re failing to see the problem?”
I shrug. It sounds so stupid when she says it like that.
“I can assure you that you’re not failing. If you were you wouldn’t be sitting here in my office talking to me. I’m here to help make sure that you don’t fail. I’m here to open your eyes to things you might not see on your own.”
I don’t respond because I’m not sure what to say.
“Okay, let’s try this…since Chloe and you split up what have you been doing?”
What does that have to do with any of this? “I get up, go to work, hit the gym, come home to eat and then go to sleep. Oh, and I take Alex on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday.”
“So you don’t go out with friends to unwind on a Friday night or anything?”
“No,” I laugh sarcastically, “I tried that once and it didn’t work out so well for me.”
Dr. Russell sighs. “Okay, when you go to the gym do you go with someone?”
“My brothers sometimes or Mark from my work, but mostly by myself.”
“Has Chloe told you about the times that she goes out with the girls from work from time to time?”
“Yeah, they go out for happy hour or to one of the girl’s houses or something to hang out.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
I feel like my head is spinning. Everything is always a question. “I’m fine with it. I like that she’s made friends.”
“That’s good, but before she started working she never went anywhere, right?”
“Well, she’s gone out with my sister and sister-in-laws.”
“Did you ever think about why Chloe never went out besides going out with family?”
I shrug. “Never really thought about it.”
“Do you think she was always worried about taking care of you and Alex and maybe that’s the reason she never went out or made friends? Or maybe perhaps that’s why you never went out without Chloe?”
Sitting here I think about what she’s saying when something clicks and it all starts to make sense. “I was always worrying about taking care of her and she was always taking care of me but we weren’t taking care of ourselves. We lost who we were as individuals along the way.”
Dr. Russell sits back in her chair, removes her glasses and sets them along with her notebook on the table. She winks, “I think we’re getting somewhere with you after all.”
I kind of like that she’s a smartass. “Chloe and I were so worried about what the other person needed that we forgot who we were and we were just running in a huge circle.”
“Your lives were at a standstill and that’s when the problems started, right?”
I shift in my seat trying to get more comfortable. “I felt like that. It was the same thing day in and day out.”
“I bet you Chloe feels the same way too.”
“Huh,” I scratch at my chin.
“You and Chloe need to understand that it’s okay to do things without the other person. With Chloe having this new job now I think it will help things a lot for the both of you, Jackson. She gets interaction with people outside of you and Alex and you could have the same thing too, if you choose. It may not always be what you both want but it’s there as an option.”
“And by having a little bit of individual freedom it stops the endless cycle of the day-to-day things.”
She nods her head. “Exactly.”
Maybe she is right. When I feel like things are starting to get to me I can go out without feeling guilty and the same for Chloe too. It’s an outlet for us both.
“Do you see why I said your marriage isn’t failing? Anyone could look at the two of you and see the love you have for each other. This is just a bump in your road and you needed a little help getting it fixed.”
“I see what you’re saying.”
Dr. Russell looks down to her watch. “I have a patient waiting for me. Let’s talk more next week.”
Using my hands I push up off the couch. “Okay, sounds good.”
“These sessions are helping you and Chloe both, Jackson. I think you guys will be just fine.”
I think she may be right. “Thanks.”
Dr. Russell holds the door open for me and for once when I walk out of her office I’m not dreading coming back.
After work on Friday I head over to my parents to pick up Chloe. We’re supposed to go out ice skating; it’s something that she wanted to do. I’m right around the corner when my phone starts ringing.
I reach down into the cup holder to pick it up and bring it to my ear. “Hello.”
“Hey,” Chloe says, “I need to cancel our date. Alex isn’t feeling well; he’s running a fever and being super clingy.”
“Is he complaining that anything is bothering him?”
“His ears.”
“Probably an infection, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking.”
“Want me to try calling the doctors to see if they can call him in anything or see if they have late hours tonight?”
“Nah, you don’t have to do that. I’ll call when I hang up with you.”
She always takes care of him when he’s sick I think to myself. “Let me help you. I’m right around the corner, anyway.” Now’s the time to step up and prove that we can handle this as a team instead of her doing it by herself.
“Are you sure?”
“Chloe, I’m positive.”
She sighs, “Okay, if you want to call over there and see what they want us to do that would be great. I’m going to see if I can get him to drink a little bit.”
“Okay, see you in a few.”
I hang up with her and call right over to the doctors. It’s a Friday night so I don’t know what time they are open until but it’s worth a shot. Surprisingly they were still open when I called and are able to get him in for an emergency appointment. The girl informed me that since it’s a pediatrician’s office that they stay open until the last patient is seen. That’s good to know for the future.
Pulling up in front of my parents’ house I leave the truck running to keep it warm. It just started flurrying about ten minutes ago and it feels like the temperature dropped about ten degrees.
“Chloe,” I call out.
“In the kitchen.”
Chloe has Alex sitting on the counter with a glass in her hands. Alex’s cheeks are beet red along with his ears. He has a blanket wrapped around him and he’s shivering too. Poor guy looks really bad.
“Hey, bud.”
“Hi, Daddy.”
Chloe sits the cup down beside them and wraps Alex up in her arms. “He looks pretty bad, huh?”
“Sure does. The doctor’s office said to bring him right over.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, let me throw some shoes on and get Alex ready too.”
“I’ve got Alex, go get yourself ready.”
Chloe stops and stares at me with a slight tilt to her head like she’s trying to figure out if I’ve fallen ill too. I guess it just goes to show that I never really did pay attention when he was sick like this before. I’ve always just let her handle it.
“Go,” I chuckle.
She snaps out of it and heads towards the hallway. “Alex’s shoes are in the living room with his coat,” Chloe yells.
“Let’s get you to the doctor and get you better.” I say to Alex before picking him up and walking out into the living room. I sit him down on the couch then grab a pair of his shoes. After getting them on I help him into his jacket and pull up his hood to keep his ears covered from the coldness. His little eyes looking so pathetic as the fever runs rampant through his body. I lean over and kiss him on the cheek to let him know that we will get him feeling better.
Just as I’m walking with Alex outside to get him buckled into his seat Chloe comes down the steps. “Ready?”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
The ride to the doctor’s office is mostly quiet except for Alex’s little whimpers every once in a while.
“Where were mom and dad?” I ask Chloe.
“They left to go out to dinner since I told them I wasn’t going out tonight.”
“Oh.”
I pull up out front of the doctor’s office shortly after to let Chloe out with Alex before parking the truck. They’re sitting in the waiting room when I walk in.
“They’ll take us back in a few minutes.”
I take a seat next to them. Alex lifts his head then holds his arms out for me. I take him from Chloe and hold him in my lap. “You okay?”
He nods his head.
We wait around a lot longer than a few minutes before we’re finally taken in the back. Chloe explains to the nurse what is going on with Alex and then a few minutes after that the doctor comes in to confirm that Alex has a double ear infection. He sends us on our way with a prescription for antibiotics.
I swing by the pharmacy on the way home to get Alex’s prescription filled. While we’re sitting in line Alex asks if we can go home.
“Yeah, we are just getting your medicine then daddy will take us back to grandma and grandpa’s.”
“No, I mean home with daddy.”
Chloe looks to me but I keep looking straight ahead. This is solely her call.
“Um…I guess we can do that.”
Now, I glance over to Chloe with a little smile. I’m glad that she didn’t insist that we go back to my parents. Plus, when Alex is sick Chloe gives in to anything that he wants.
“’kay,” Alex closes his eyes and before we know it he’s drifting off to sleep.
“You know I wasn’t letting you go back to my parents’ house anyway, right?”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s sick and I should be helping take care of him.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, it is.”
I move up in line, pay for his medicine and then head back to the house. Once we give Alex his dose of medicine together we tuck him into his head, where he belongs, then shut the door.
“Thank you for everything tonight.”
Taking a step closer to Chloe I grip her chin between my thumb and pointer finger. “You don’t need to thank me.”
“I know but I still feel like I should say it.”
Taking a step back and letting go of her chin I ask, “Do you want to watch a movie?”
“Sounds perfect.”
We go downstairs to the living room. I get the fireplace started while Chloe picks out a movie. She’s scrolling through the different options when I take the blanket she always keeps on the back of the couch and drape it over us since it’s still a little chilly in the house.
“Let’s watch this,” she clicks on the new Jurassic Park movie. “I haven’t had a chance to see it yet.”
“Whatever you want to watch,” I’m not going to be paying attention to the damn thing anyway, not with her sitting beside me, in our house, with us all alone after months of not having sex.
I turn the lamp off then pull the lever to the recliner out to get comfortable. Chloe follows my lead then hits the play button.
Just after the previews end I reach over to grab Chloe’s hand. “Come over here.”
She scoots closer then I slide my arm over her shoulder. The strawberry smell of her hair gets my blood pumping. Ever since Tuesday when I went back to work with a bad case of blue balls I’ve been taking care of myself in the fucking shower two times a damn day. It’s sad thinking back on it but it is what it is. I need a release somehow. I slowly start rubbing circles on Chloe’s shoulder with the tips of my fingers causing her to get the chills. She shifts then slides her arm across my stomach to rest her hand on my hip. I stop breathing for a second not sure where she’s taking this but she doesn’t do anything else.
For the next twenty minutes it’s little touches here and there for the both of us. Chloe lifts her head from my shoulder to turn to look at me.
“What’s the matter?”
“I don’t feel like watching the movie.”
“Okay, what do you want to do?”
Her eyes drop to my mouth then her tongue snakes out to lick her lips. “I want you to kiss me,” she says softly.
With my left hand I bring it up to the side of her face then lean down to kiss her gently on the lips. “Like that?”
“More.”
I do it again giving her two sweet kisses on the lips.
“More,” she pants.
Tilting my head to the side I run my tongue along her lower lip. When she gasps I sweep my tongue into her mouth. Her hand comes up into my hair as she turns her whole body towards me.
“More.”
I shove the blankets aside then pull her so that she’s straddling my lap and kiss her again until we’re both breathless this time.
“More.”
Gripping her hips in both my hands I do it again while Chloe grinds against my aching dick.
“Chloe…”
“Hmm?”
“What are we doing?”
“What we should have done the other day.” She kisses me this time more aggressively. “I’ll do whatever you want as long as you make love to me tonight, Jackson.”
Those words undo me. Standing with Chloe wrapped around me I take the steps up to our room. When we reach the room there isn’t a second that ticks by before we’re both slipping out of our clothes. It’s a finish line that we’re trying to see who makes it there first. I stumble onto the bed after getting my foot stuck in my jeans. Chloe giggles then jumps on the bed next to me.
I roll onto my back pulling her on top of me. She laughs knowing I’ve reached my breaking point with wanting her so badly. I’ve kept my promise though and never pushed, always letting her run this show which is exactly what she’s doing tonight. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t have sex with her until she agreed to move back in but screw it. I’m only hurting myself in the long run at this point.
Chloe places a kiss on my lips, then my chin, throat, chest, and all the way down to the tip of my dick. When she looks up at me with her eyelashes fluttering I grow even harder. The tip of her tongue comes out to circle around the head before her tongue slides down to the base and all the way back up.
My legs are stiff as I force myself to relax. She opens her eyes to look up at me again as she repeats the same thing. One of my hands grabs the back of her head and pushes her down a little further when she takes me fully in her mouth.
“Shit,” I groan. The feel of her mouth is fucking fantastic.
Chloe’s small hand wraps around me and pumps up and down as she swirls her tongue around the tip. I’
m getting closer. I know I need to stop her before I lose it too soon. With the hand that is tangled in her hair I pull her head up. “Come here.” She has to know that I’m about ten seconds away from coming if she keeps that up. I need to slow this train down, and fast.
Chloe climbs back up my body kissing me just like she did on her way down. When her lips meet mine I kiss her hard then roll us over so she’s on her back. Scooting down on the bed, I lean on my elbow and place Chloe’s leg over my shoulder. Blowing softly against her pussy she shivers. Leaning forward I run the tip of my tongue down the center of her and right into her opening. Her hips attempt to fly off the bed but with my one hand I hold her down. She’s moaning so loud I’m afraid she might wake up Alex.
“Shh, baby.”
“I can’t.”
I enter her with a single finger first still swirling my tongue around her clit then enter another. Her head thrashes side to side as I slowly pump my fingers in and out of her.
“Oh God,” she whimpers.
Adding a third finger makes her go crazy. She clamps her thighs around my head while I suck on the bundle of nerves.
“Oh…oh God…” she cries out as her orgasm takes over her body.
While she’s recovering I wipe my face with the back of my hand then slide back up behind her so we’re both lying down. Chloe reaches between her legs for my cock as she guides it to her opening. Her smile fades away as I slide into her. “Ahh…”
It’s hot, it’s tight and it’s almost too much. I close my eyes trying to find my senses. Slow down, Jackson, or it’s all going to be over before it even starts. I pull back and slip out of her with ease because she’s so fucking wet. “Fuck.”
Chloe reaches down again and guides me back in. I set a slow pace pulling back then pushing back in. Reaching around I cup Chloe’s tit in my hand then pinch her nipple between my finger.
“Damn it, Jackson,” Chloe says as she pushes her ass back against me.
I can’t go slow anymore so carefully I turn onto my back bringing Chloe along with me. Her moans fill the room as she rides me, up and down, slow and hard. Her legs start to shake and a bead of sweat trickles down her back. Without pulling herself off of me she twists around to face me. Leaning over me she kisses me as I slide my hands around her back. My hips thrust up as her hips push down. All that can be heard is the sounds of our bodies slapping against each other. Losing a bit of control I set a punishing pace making Chloe scream out my name.