Suddenly Gavin’s stallion threw his head up; his nostrils distended, and his entire body started to shake. The next moment he whipped around until he saw the dog. Then with an ear-splitting scream of rage, he charged, teeth bared and enormous hooves ready to aim a killing blow. Sara clung to his mane with all her strength, but the bucking and whirling of the stallion unbalanced her, and she began to slide off. Without hesitation Gavin jumped from the back of his fear-crazed mount, just in time to reach Sara as she fell. Only the stallion’s lightning whirl and attack with bared teeth prevented the hound from plunging his teeth into Sara’s throat. Gavin thrust her behind him, and drawing his dirk, turned to face the hound.
The hound was vicious and cunning, but he was ponderous, and his great size was a handicap in close fighting; for Gavin’s mammoth stallion, it was an advantage. The infuriated horse’s teeth had grazed the hound’s back when it had tried to attack Sara. Turning in snarling fury, the beast found himself scrambling frantically to avoid a lethal blow from a platter-sized iron-shod hoof. But the stallion was faster; turning with incredible speed for such a large horse, his front hoof struck the hound a glancing blow on the shoulder. Gavin doubted the blow did any great harm, but it stunned the hound long enough to give the stallion time to whirl and aim a mighty kick with both hind feet.
The thud of impact failed to mask the sickening sound of breaking bones as the hound went flying through the air. He had barely landed before Gavin’s stallion was upon him. With a savage scream, the horse rose above the stricken hound. Even as the lethal hooves descended, the hound uttered a vicious growl and tried to rise once more, but he sank under the hammering hooves of the stallion.
A moment later, all was still.
Gavin turned to Sara, relieved that his broad back had hidden the terrible scene from her view. He closed his arms about her, holding her tightly in silence. He remembered the fear which had nearly paralyzed him when he saw Sara driving his stallion straight at the hound. His limbs trembled; his grip on her was vicelike.
“Why did you come back?”
“Colleen said the dog had been let out. She said the horses would never be fast enough to escape. Gavin, your sword was on your stallion. You couldn’t defend yourself!”
“I had my dirk. You had nothing at all.”
“I couldn’t just leave you, not when Colleen said your horse hated dogs enough to attack the hound.”
“Colleen talks too much.”
“I’m sorry if you’re angry, but it was all I could think of.”
“You’re safe, that’s all that really counts, but don’t ever do a thing like that again! You don’t even know how to ride. How could you expect to stay on that stallion?”
“I didn’t think. I just knew I couldn’t leave you.”
Colleen rode into view, Gavin’s carriage horse in tow. Both horses were still wild with fear and bleeding from the hound’s attack, but Colleen was a notable horsewoman, and she had them under control.
“I see what you mean,” Colleen said, her eyes missing none of the significance of Gavin’s hold on Sara. “They do prefer the one who must ride in a carriage.”
“What is she talking about?” Gavin asked, his anger at Colleen deflected by the enigmatic statement.
“It’s just woman’s talk,” Sara told him, hiding a bleak smile. “You wouldn’t be interested.”
“Well, I would be interested in knowing what possessed you to help Ian kidnap my wife?” Gavin demanded of Colleen, forgetting the women’s cryptic exchange.
‘That was a mistake,” Sara intervened. “She was sorry almost from the first, weren’t you?” Colleen had the good sense to nod unhesitatingly. “She did it to help Ian, but she took very good care of me.”
'That crazy old woman—”
“She never came near me.”
But Gavin wasn’t mollified. “That note …”
“She does want to be friends with us again,” Sara interrupted again. “She truly does, and we find that we like each other quite well.”
Gavin could see that Sara was determined to defend Colleen, so he reluctantly abandoned that losing battle. “When I get my hands on Ian Fraser, I’ll break his neck.”
“You’re perfectly free to do anything you want to him,” Sara said, hoping his rage would have calmed down by the time he saw Ian again. “I don’t think he was at all sorry about kidnapping me, and then he left us with that terrible old woman. He said he would be back in two or three days. He seemed to think you wouldn’t find us.”
“He didn’t mean for the ransom note to reach me so soon, but I knew why he had kidnapped you. It was only because I was his closest friend that I even thought of Old Peg.”
“Ian said no one would dare come here.”
“Now you know why,” Gavin said, and all their gazes silently turned to what was left of the hound.
It was a silent cavalcade that wound its way through the hills to Estameer. Each was occupied with their private thoughts, each aware that once they reached Estameer, there would be no time for thought for a long time. Colleen’s thoughts were not happy, and her expression was a heavy one. Gavin’s thoughts were of the revenge he would take from Ian, and his expression was ferocious.
Only Sara rode with some degree of contentment. She was still angry at Ian for kidnapping her, she might never forgive him for putting Gavin in danger, and she was still weak from shock, but she was also blissfully happy. She knew unquestionably that Gavin loved her. He still might not know it, but it would only be a matter of time, before he would discover it on his own. Everything she had dreamed of was within her reach at last, and knowing she carried Gavin’s child within her womb added to her sense of fulfillment. They had come through a vale of trouble and had survived danger, but they had survived, and her dream was about to come true.
She suddenly thought of her father, and she longed to be able to tell him that she understood now what he had felt for her mother, and that she was sorry for her jealousy. She had sometimes thought that he didn’t try to get well when he came down with the mysterious fever, but if that had been the case, she understood now. She would not have wanted to live without Gavin either.
Chapter 23
A week later Sara was stunned to receive an urgent message from Colleen Fraser to come down to the great hail. Ian had been seriously injured in the siege of Blair Castle, and she had brought him to Estameer.
“Why didn’t you take him to his father?” she demanded, when she saw Ian lying upon the stretcher like a corpse.
“He willna take him in,” Colleen replied, bitterness and anger in her voice. “Either of us. He says we have shamed him and disgraced the clan, and he willna have anything more tae do with us. He willna allow anyone tae help us either. Ye are the only one left.”
“But Gavin … I don’t know … Do you know Cumberland heard Gavin called his men into service? Only he thinks Gavin plans to join the rebellion. Gavin left for Aberdeen this morning, to explain that he was looking for me.”
“I know Gavin’s away, else I wouldna have come,” Colleen said. There was a desperate quality to her voice. “I have nowhere tae go. He willna live unless ye help him.”
“Then he’ll be getting no more than he deserves,” decreed Betty, who had just reached the hall. The chagrin of having championed Ian in preference to Gavin had caused her to feel very foolish, and she was willing to say just about anything in retribution. “I’ll bet a lot of Frasers are going to look queer, when they learn the rifles his lordship’s men carried were so full of mud they couldn’t have fired a single shot.”
“Let’s get him upstairs,” Sara said, making the only decision she could. She dared not think of what would happen if Ian was still in the house when Gavin returned, but she couldn’t refuse him, not when he was so grievously wounded.
She had regretfully kissed Gavin good-bye less than two hours earlier, but she was still wrapped in an aura of contentment. The past six days had been almost perfect. Gavin had guarded
her like a precious jewel, and couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off her. Twice he had traveled back from the far reaches of the estate just to share the noon meal with her, and he hadn’t once missed dinner. He still hadn’t given up on talking some of the clans out of their support of the Stuart prince, but he never stayed away all evening, and he was never too tired to give Sara his undivided and energetic attention when he returned.
Not a day passed that Sara didn’t give thanks for Letty Brown. If she thought she could have gotten away with it, she might even have named her first daughter after her. It scared her to think how close she had come to not speaking to her.
But even with Letty’s help, she hadn’t achieved her ultimate goal: Gavin still hadn’t said that he loved her. But that didn’t bother her very much anymore. He was just about the only person in Scotland who didn’t know he loved her. Feeling secure in his love, Sara was perfectly content to let him discover it for himself.
She was also content to let him remain in ignorance of the fact that she had conceived an heir, a child she was certain would be a son. She wanted him to be able to love this child from the very first moment. But if he couldn’t yet admit that he loved her, how could he love her child?
Sara was also afraid he might see this child as a victory for his father, rather than the fruit of their love. She knew that no matter how much Gavin had learned to trust her, his feelings for his father would never change. She prayed Gavin would come to see his child as a wonderful gift, not as the natural result of a marriage forced upon him specifically for the purpose of producing this child. Just knowing that she was going to have a baby made her happy, and she didn’t want this wonderful experience to be denied Gavin. He had suffered enough already.
She was also a little selfish. She wasn’t sure she was ready to share him with anyone just yet, even his own child. Gavin had opened up so little of himself, still held himself so privately. Sara wanted more time for just the two of them, time when he could slowly lower the barriers he had erected over the years, barriers that kept out his friends as well as his wife.
Not the least of her reasons was her fear that he would stop spending his nights in her bed. Sara could have stood it if he had ceased to make love to her—she wouldn’t have liked it, but she could have stood it—but she was certain Gavin would lock himself in his own room until the child was born. Sara was honest enough to admit that she didn’t want that. She was sure Gavin’s physical desires were stronger than her own, but Letty Brown had been a better teacher than she knew. Sara was not willing to give up Gavin’s embraces until she must.
Seven days later Ian sat up in the bed, as Sara came into the room carrying lint for more bandages. She stopped abruptly.
“I didn’t know you were awake.”
“I asked Colleen not tae tell ye.” Sara’s look asked why. “Ye have avoided me ever since I got here. I had tae think o’ some way tae see ye.”
“After what you did, you ought to be ashamed to look me in the eye.”
“I was willing tae give my life for my prince,” Ian said, pointing to the bandages that still covered his chest and one thigh. “Why should I balk at one little kidnapping?”
“Your little kidnapping could have cost Gavin his life. That hound might have killed him, if I hadn’t gone back.”
“Ah well, I hadna intended for Gavin tae receive my letter until I returned. I never thought he would find ye, nor succeed in getting into the house.”
“I don’t find anything laudable in what you did,” Sara said, stubbornly refusing to unbend. “You gave no thought at all to how your actions might injure others.”
“I plead guilty in the name of the Prince,” Ian said with all the old charm Sara remembered. “In my own right, I wouldna risk a hair o’ yer head.”
“That’s a fine thing to say, now that I’m safely rescued, but if Gavin’s horse hadn’t killed that dreadful dog, I could be cold in my grave by now.”
“Sara, ye must believe me when I say I thought ye would be in the house and unharmed the whole while.”
“Well, let’s not talk about it anymore. It won’t do any good. I might as well change your bandages, since I’m here. How are your wounds feeling?”
“Tis still quite stiff I am, but they do no’ pain me so much anymore.”
“I thought you were dead when I saw you on that stretcher, but it was mostly exhaustion and loss of blood. You can go back to the Prince in a day or two.”
“Could it be that ye are anxious tae be rid of me?”
“I admit I’d rather you weren’t here when Gavin gets back. As it is, he’s going to be angry when he finds out I took care of you.”
“Gavin is always letting his anger get in the way of his being able tae see others for what they really are. No wonder he canna see yer worth.”
“Gavin is quite pleased with me,” she replied, determined to hear no criticism of Gavin from anyone.
“But he does no’ appreciate ye as I do, or the Prince,” Ian added, when he saw Sara’s eyes widen in surprise. “He continues tae ask after ye, as does Miss Walkinshaw. She entreats me tae bring ye for a visit.”
“I’m naturally grateful to the Prince for his consideration, and would dearly love to see Miss Walkinshaw again, but it isn’t possible, not with Gavin supporting the King.”
But she couldn’t suppress a sigh. As much as she loved Gavin and enjoyed being with him, he was away a lot of the time, and she often found herself longing for company, especially females of her own class. Some of the local women would not visit her because they supported the Prince, and she had long ago reached the limits of Betty’s and Mary’s conversation. If it had not been for visitors coming for musical entertainments or to read an occasional poem, she would have been tempted to sneak off to the Prince’s camp, in spite of Gavin’s disapproval. She had to admit she missed the excitement of the army. It was impossible to be surrounded by five thousand vital men and not be affected by the sheer physical energy of their presence.
But she told herself to be patient. It wouldn’t be long before she would have a family to care for. Her morning sickness was a regular thing now, and there was no question but that she could expect to give birth sometime in the fall. There was nothing in the world like a baby to bring women together, no matter what their political differences.
Ian misinterpreted Sara’s hesitation, and assumed that only persuading was needed to make her change her mind. He had wanted her for himself from the first moment he saw her, and he didn’t intend to allow his friendship for Gavin to stand in his way. If he could just get her away from Gavin, even for a short while, he was sure she would get over her silly infatuation. But Ian was no fool, and he realized he could never cut as handsome a figure as Gavin. Neither could he forget the angry looks the couple had exchanged in Glasgow, nor the uncertainty he had seen in Sara’s eyes when she left with Gavin for Edinburgh.
Ian exerted himself to talk Sara into going to Inverness with him—the Prince had been there for the last month—even if it was only for a short visit, but no matter how often he thought she might be changing her mind, she steadily refused.
“Surely Gavin wouldna forbid ye a short visit.”
“Under the circumstances, I’m sure he would forbid any visit at all. You seem to forget that you have placed him in a difficult position with Cumberland.”
“He is a coarse German lout.”
“Possibly, but he’s still the son of the king and the commander of the army. It’s not easy to ignore a man in such a position.”
“Can ye no’ stop worrying about what Gavin would think and what would be best for Gavin, and think of yerself?” Ian demanded irritably. “Ye sound more like his mistress than his wife.”
“His mistress was a very understanding woman,” Sara answered, remembering Clarice’s challenge to the earl.
“Then forget Gavin and his mistress,” Ian snapped. “Think o’ yerself for a change.”
“Sit up so I can remove this bandage fr
om around your chest, and stop trying to talk me into something you know I shouldn’t do,” Sara commanded. “Anything that’s good for Gavin is good for me, too.”
“What has he done tae make ye so loyal? Ye were certainly treated rough in Glasgow.”
“Gavin has had many demons to overcome. He doesn’t think a woman can love him for himself, and he’s still afraid he may be betrayed, just like his mother was.”
“Gavin has no heart tae lose tae a woman,” Ian said impatiently. “I have known him for the best part of twenty years, and excepting his mother, he scorns the lot o’ ye. He’ll keep a mistress—even a woman-hater like Gavin needs the comfort of a woman’s body—but he’ll no’ give ye his trust, nor his heart. He has none tae give.”
“You don’t understand,” Sara began, but Ian cut her off.
“Ye wait until there is a crisis and see if I’m no’ right. No matter what he’s told ye, see if he does no’ turn against ye.”
“I thought you were his friend?”
“I would rather be yer friend.”
“You are my friend. I would never have gotten to Scotland without your help.”
“Then leave Gavin and come away with me.”
Sara was so stunned, all she could think to say was, “But I’m married.”
“It does no’ matter. The Prince is Catholic, and his church does no’ recognize a Protestant marriage.”
“And if he loses?”
“They willna recognize yer marriage in France either.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” asked Sara.
“Never more,” Ian replied. “I’ve loved ye ever since I saw ye in those disgraceful clothes, and ye announced ye were Lady Carlisle and expected to be protected rather than assaulted by the Prince’s army.”
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