by Meghan March
Graham’s laugh came out as choked huff. He rubbed his face roughly. “Could you just shut up for a minute? Another talent you haven’t quite conquered is recognizing when a guy is trying to lay it on the line.”
Ro shut her mouth so quickly her teeth clacked together. Graham was silent for more than a minute. Ro knew this for a fact because she counted, waiting for him to speak.
“I don’t … do well with … desertion,” he said, the words sounding as if they’d been dragged from his throat with rusty pliers. His gaze pinned her, daring her to comment on his raw statement. Ro stayed quiet. After Zach’s revelations earlier, she wasn’t sure she could handle whatever it was that Graham had to say. He stalked across the room to shove open the blackout curtain and peer into the dark night. He rested a forearm on the high windowsill, head dropping forward. “Fuck, I can’t do this.”
He spun and started for the doorway when Zach stepped into the room. “Come on, man. Just tell her.” Ro jumped, surprised once again by Zach’s stealthy entry.
Graham attempted to shove Zach out of the way, but Zach continued to block the doorway. “What the fuck does it matter anyway?”
Ro decided it was time to bare a piece of her soul. “I left because I’ve put my family last in every decision I’ve made for the past ten years. This was my chance to finally put them first, and I was doing it, without regret, until I met you.” She paused and took a deep breath. “I wasn’t deserting you. I was choosing them. For once. But you had to go and make me fall in love with you. Both of you. I couldn’t let that matter, even if it ripped me apart. Don’t you see? How do you not choose your family?”
Graham swung around, his movements almost violent. “My mother managed it when she left me in a shithole motel room when I was seven years old. It was three days before housekeeping caught me trying to steal Cheetos out of the fucking vending machine because I was starving. They found her a week later, floating in the Ohio River. The kicker—she’d been dead for less than twenty-four hours.”
“Oh my God, Graham …” Ro said, mouth hanging open in disbelief. Apparently her childhood, even with a mother dying of cancer, had been all rainbows and unicorns compared to both of theirs.
“I don’t want your pity. Social services got in touch with my uncle, and I moved up here. It was probably the best thing that’d ever happened to me up to that point. This place is the only real home I’ve ever had. It’s easy to take for granted … but when you’ve never had one ...” He cleared his throat. “My uncle put me in school—first grade, even though I’d never seen the inside of a classroom in my life. My mom had been too busy moving us from fleabag motel to fleabag motel to put me in school. She’d disappear for hours every night. It didn’t occur to me until I was older that she was a junkie, turning tricks to feed her habit.”
“I … I don’t know what to say,” was all Ro could get out.
“You don’t need to say anything. You just need to know that when I woke up to find you gone, I thought I’d never see you alive again. All I could picture was you, dead in the woods somewhere. And all because you were too damn stubborn to let us protect you.”
“I’m fine.”
“You almost weren’t,” Zach said.
“So what we do now?” Ro asked.
Graham felt hollowed out. Drained. Like he’d just confessed his sins and wasn’t certain whether he’d be granted absolution.
“I guess that depends on you,” he said.
“What do you mean?” Ro asked.
“You’re the one driving this train, sweetheart,” Zach said. “If you hadn’t noticed, we’ve both laid our hearts at your feet. What you do with them is your choice.”
“Way to put the hard decision on me,” she said, her tone a weak attempt at humor.
“You’re the only one who can make it,” Zach replied. Graham stayed silent, studying her features for any indication of her decision.
When finally Ro spoke, her words came easily, as if the choice was obvious. “Everyone who matters to me is inside these walls. There’s nothing that could make me leave again.” She looked at each of them before saying, “If it’s truly my choice, then I choose this. Both of you. Us.” Graham exhaled a harsh breath. She. Was. Theirs.
“You sure, darlin’?” Zach asked. “Because you make that choice and there’s no going back. We’ll be keeping you, come hell or high water.” Graham could’ve snapped Zach’s neck for giving her the option to change her mind. She was theirs. The decision had been made.
“I’m sure.” She reached for the hem of her sweatshirt, and Graham’s eyes widened.
“Whoa, baby. It’s been a hell of a long day, and all that’s on the menu tonight is sleep,” Graham said.
“But I thought … You don’t want me?”
Zach sat on one edge of the bed, and Graham crossed the room to sit on the other. “You know that’s not the case. But, we’re wiped. I think I speak for both of us when I say, we just want to hold you tonight and wake up with you tomorrow morning,” Zach said, trying to reassure her.
“Huh,” Ro said, continuing to pull her sweatshirt over her head, exposing naked skin beneath. She tossed it to the floor. “I’ve got to admit, that doesn’t really work for me.” She leaned back to rest on her elbows. Her lusciously rounded breasts swayed dangerously close to Graham’s hands, and an impish smile curled on her lips. “I’m actually pretty disappointed with that decision.” Her nipples were already pebbled, and Graham remembered how they’d felt against his tongue. His cock jerked to life.
“You’re not playing fair,” he murmured, mesmerized by the rise and fall of her breasts in time with her increasingly rapid breaths.
“I don’t care,” Ro replied, her gaze daring them to resist her. It was a losing battle.
“Fuck. You win. Zach, might as well help her lose the pants.”
“Happy to,” Zach said, tugging them down her legs, revealing bare, smooth skin. Graham swore the woman owned zero pairs of underwear. And thank God for that.
“Forget something, babe?” Graham asked, reaching over to skim his fingers up the inside of her naked thigh, not stopping until he reached her plump lower lips that were already slick with need. Graham dragged a finger up her slit, feeling his cock flex against his zipper when Ro moaned.
Zach knelt between Rowan’s spread legs, and Graham watched as he dragged his tongue from ankle to knee, nipping at Ro’s sensitive spots. Graham slid a finger through her wet heat as Zach approached her inner thigh. He trailed his finger up, circling her clit while Zach tongued her entrance. Graham brought his finger to Rowan’s mouth, and interrupted her moan to paint her lips with her wetness.
“Taste yourself.”
Graham held back his own groan as Ro’s tongue circled his finger. When she sucked, all Graham could think was how much he wished it was his cock instead. Fuck.
She started to buck her hips against Zach’s mouth, and all thoughts of his own pleasure fled as Graham realized she was about to come. In that moment, there was nothing he wanted to see more than her eyes glazed over with passion. He withdrew his finger and slanted his mouth over hers, catching a hint of her sweet and spicy flavor. He inhaled her whimpers as Zach worked her toward orgasm. He rolled her puckered nipples between his thumb and index finger, pinching and tugging until she bucked harder. Her elbows collapsed, and her body tensed. Graham bent to tug a peak between his teeth, and Ro buried her fingers in his hair. Graham loved the sharp tugs that signaled her impending orgasm. She stilled. And then her whole body tensed and writhed as she rode out the pleasure.
Graham pulled back. There… that was the look he needed to see. She was so goddamn beautiful and open in that moment that he knew he would never deserve her.
Ro jerked awake at the sound of a shotgun being racked. The heaviness of exhaustion-induced sleep made it hard to focus. Graham bolted out of bed, reaching for his sidearm and pointing it at the intruder in one smooth, instinctive motion. Zach shoved her behind him, but not before
she saw her dad standing in the doorway. A shaft of light cutting through the gap in the blackout curtains highlighted the twelve-gauge pump-action that normally rested in the gun rack of his truck.
“What the fuck, Callahan?” Graham yelled, reaching for a pillow to cover the impressive morning wood he was sporting.
“No one could tell me where my daughter was this morning, but that sweet little girl in the mess hall thought for some reason she might be in ‘Mr. Graham and Mr. Zach’s cabin.’ Helpful little thing. And astute.”
Ro pushed Zach’s big body aside and yanked the covers up to her chest. “Was the shotgun really necessary?”
His jaw was set, eyes appraising them. “You tell me. Because I can’t unsee what I just saw. Which was my first-born snuggled up between two men.” He looked from Graham to Zach. “Naked men.”
“I’m twenty-eight years old, not sixteen. I think it’s a little late to be outraged to find out that I have sex.”
“Good God, Rowan. I don’t need to hear that.”
“Seriously, Dad. What are you doing out of bed, anyway? You could’ve died yesterday. You need to rest. Beau is going to kill you if you tear open your stitches and start bleeding again.”
Graham and Zach both looked at her, as if to say, Really? You’re giving that lecture? She ignored them both.
Her dad leaned against the doorframe, balancing the shotgun barrel on his good shoulder. “I’m going. But before I do, I’ve got something to say.” His gaze sharpened. “What you do and who you do it with is your business.”
“Thank you very much,” Ro said.
“But I’m not planning on sticking around here for too long. We’ve got our own place to get to, and I was assuming you’d be coming with us.”
Ro’s stomach dropped. Not again.
Rick Callahan’s words were an uppercut to Graham’s gut. The icy cold dread he’d felt two mornings ago returned, ten-fold. He ran through the irrefutable facts in his mind: Rowan had already chosen her family over them once. She’d told them last night that it was the only choice she could make in that situation. Faced with the same options, she’d make the same choice again.
“But sir, you and your daughters are all more than welcome to stay here for as long as you’d like. Hell, you can stay forever,” Zach said. “We’d be happy to have you.”
“Well, you may understand this and you may not, but sometimes a man has to have his own place, follow his own path. And staying here would not be that place or that path for me and mine.”
“With all due respect, sir, shouldn’t your family’s safety be your first priority? And they’re safe here,” Zach said, trying a different angle.
“Son, if I wanted you dead, you would never have woken up this morning. I learned a thing or two in the jungle. I can keep my girls safe.”
“But, sir—”
“Let me lay it out for you. If you don’t think Uncle Sam is gonna come knocking on your door sooner rather than later, you boys are crazy. This place is too well prepared not to be on someone’s radar. I don’t plan to be here when that happens, and I don’t want my girls to be here either. When that time comes, if you resist, it’ll be a blood bath. If you don’t, they’ll confiscate your ranch and everything on it under the authority of the National Defense Authorization Act and round you up and take you to some goddamn FEMA camp. It’ll be the same as a concentration camp, complete with a stock of body bags and easy access to mass graves. I’ve been a POW once, and I’m not about to repeat the experience or anything like it. I got a place tucked away where the feds and the military will never think to look.”
Graham watched the color leech from Ro’s face and took in the unnatural stillness with which she held her body. It was all the answer he needed. Sometimes you had to be cruel to be kind. Graham smoothed his features into an expressionless mask before speaking the words he’d never be able to take back.
“We understand your concerns, sir, and respect your decision. We’re happy to have you rest up here until you’re ready to travel, and we’ll supply you and both of your daughters with any additional provisions you need when you all leave.” His stomach twisted as he emphasized the words both and all.
If it was possible, Ro paled further at his words. It occurred to him that they were probably the words she’d wished he’d said when she’d first stumbled into their lives. Hearing them now would crush anything she might feel for him, but he wasn’t going to force her to choose again. This time, he’d take her pain and bear it himself.
Ro wrapped the sheet carefully around herself and slid to the end of the bed. She stared at the wall as she gathered her clothes, not sparing a glance at either him or Zach.
She cleared her throat. “I think we should head to breakfast, Dad. I’ll get dressed and follow you in a minute.” Her words were toneless, robotic.
Rick narrowed his eyes at him and Zach and then nodded and backed out of the room, shotgun in hand. Ro followed closely after him, leaving the bedroom with her clothes clutched to her sheet-covered chest.
“I’ll see you in a few, sweetheart.”
As soon as they heard the front door shut, Zach shoved on his pants and raced to the front room. Graham picked his clothes up off the floor and dressed slowly.
“Don’t think for a second you’re going anywhere, Ro,” Graham heard Zach say resolutely.
“I can’t talk about this right now,” Ro said. “I have to go.” The hitch in her voice was a razorblade to his skin—a self-inflicted slash.
“Baby—”
“Back off, Zach. Your team leader has spoken. It’s done. If you don’t like it, I suggest you take it up with him.”
The front door slammed. Graham heard a crunch as Zach punched through the cheap wooden paneling that lined the front room.
“What the fuck, man?” Zach exploded as he burst into the bedroom. “Just … What. The. Fuck? If you weren’t my best friend … I would kill you right now. Please tell me this is another elaborate plan to get her to stay.”
Graham remained mute as he sat on the bed and pulled on his boots.
“You gotta talk to me, man. Because you just fucked up the best thing that ever happened to us. We just got it all figured out.” Zach raked his hands through his already disheveled hair and yanked.
Graham tucked his sidearm into his holster and hooked the radio onto his belt. He chose his words carefully before he faced Zach.
“What exactly do you think we had figured out? Because her dad just turned the clock back by two days, and if you think for a minute that she wasn’t going to make the same choice she made before, then you’re a fucking idiot.” Graham swallowed, proud his voice didn’t shake.
“So what? You decided to make the choice for her? ‘Here’s some supplies, don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.’ That’s your answer? Because it’s a piss poor one, and you should be fucking ashamed of yourself.”
“What I did was save her from having to tear herself apart trying to choose between us and her family again. It was the right thing to do.” Zach shrank back as Graham roared the last words.
“Making her think she meant nothing to you was the right thing to do? You might as well have slapped her across the face. And in front of her dad? The fact that he didn’t unload that shotgun shows that he’s a better man than me, because you just tossed his daughter out of your bed like she was garbage. I feel like I don’t even fucking know you.” Zach spun and left the room. Graham flinched as the cabin shuddered with the force of the slamming door.
Ro was thankful for the numbness that settled over her. It was like her body and mind had gotten together and decided she didn’t need to process whatever the hell had just happened. It was certainly better than feeling like Graham had ripped several vital organs from her body and ground them beneath the heel of his combat boot. In front of her father, no less. That was a humiliation she’d rather not relive.
Her reeling mind said she probably wouldn’t have to worry about the possibili
ty of a repeat while locked in whatever bunker her father had provisioned. After this morning, the lack of men in their party might merit a solid check in the ‘pro’ column if she was weighing her alternatives.
Her dad sat on one of the picnic table benches on the covered patio outside the mess hall. She cynically supposed she probably owed him a thank you for bringing Graham’s true colors to light sooner rather than later. Although, after last night, that thought rang false. The declarations of love and then making love ... It had been more than just sex. It had been … reverent. She’d felt worshipped when they’d taken her together. It had seemed like they’d finally figured out how to move forward as a unit. But now, in the light of day, it was like Graham would rather push her away than risk deepening their connection and eventually losing her. Ro stumbled. Was that his motive? Or did he really not care? The latter was hard to swallow, but Ro’s confidence in her ability to discern a person’s motives was still too tattered after the Evelyn-Charles incident. People made declarations of love all the time without meaning them, and apparently Graham was no different. Her dad stood, interrupting her musings.
“Now, sweetheart, before you get upset …” he started.
“I’m not upset with you,” she said, cutting him—and the conversation—off. “But why are you up and around already? Shouldn’t Beau have you chained to a cot in the clinic?”
“You know me, broke my leg and the next day I was harvesting the west field, using my crutches to help me steer. Life doesn’t stop just because it’d be more convenient for you.”
Ro smiled weakly as her father dished out his own brand of wisdom. For a paranoid country bumpkin, he was a pretty smart man. One who’d never waivered in his support of her, her sister, or their dreams. Graham and Zach had been dealt piles of shit when it came to their childhoods; she’d gotten so lucky, but hadn’t appreciated what she had. A rush of emotion pummeled the wall of numbness. She dropped onto the bench next to him and rested her head on his uninjured shoulder. If there were a ‘Worst Daughter of the Year’ award, it would go to Rowan Callahan.