by Ann Garner
“Mom.”
“Rachel, she's a grown woman, leave her alone.”
She twists her hands together in front of her and casts a quick glance to Grace, who is trying desperately to pretend she can't hear us.
“I just think that with everything that happened it would be better if you were close by.”
I look to my father to see his lips pressed in a thin line across his face. He is staring unhappily at my mother, which occurs every time she mentions ‘everything that happened.’ Because as far as Alexander Roberts is concerned, if we don't talk about it, then it couldn't have really happened.
“I think we should let Delaney get settled in without us, Rachel.”
“Oh, no, Alexander, we can't leave her this fast. I can help her put her clothes away and make her bed. Oh, did you bring sheets? I didn't think about sheets.”
“Mom, I have the money in my account from Grandma Baker to get all that stuff, and Grace has her car here and has agreed to take me to the store. I'm fine. You and Dad should go, you have to return the rental and get through airport security.”
It looks like she might protest but my father pushes her towards the door. Before they step into the hall he turns to look at me one more time.
“You'll be great, Dellie.” He uses the nickname he'd given me as a child, one I hadn't heard in years. “Let me know if you need anything.”
And then they are gone. I watch the doorway where they had just disappeared for a moment before turning to Grace, who has finished putting her clothes away and is sitting on her prettily made bed, studying me.
“Yeah, so,” I draw the word out. “My parents are not normal.”
She smiles. “Are any parents really? My mother blubbered like a baby the entire time she was here. I had to kick her out before the idea of moving in with us occurred to her.”
She slides her feet into a pair of flip flops.
“So,” she drags the word out. “Badges then Target, right? I can take you anywhere you need to go to pick up stuff, no problem.”
“Really? Because I only have jeans and t-shirts so I'd like to do some serious shopping.”
“Of course! Wherever you need to go, no problem. I love shopping.”
“That's great, because I suck at it. And I think I’m going to want to replace pretty much everything.”
I watch as Grace claps her hands together, rubbing them in anticipation. “Yay! Do you need to do anything else before we go?”
I shake my head, figuring I can leave the majority of my old clothes in my suitcase since hopefully I won't be needing them.
I want to get as far away from everything in my past as possible, and that includes the little girl who was terrified to draw any attention to herself, either through what she wore or how she acted.
I slide my room key into the front pocket of my jeans, turning to follow Grace out the door.
“Both of my brothers go here,” she says at we start out of the room. “Holden is a senior this year and Cole is a junior. They share a place off campus. Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
“No, just me.”
“I dreamed a lot about being an only child growing up.” We wind our way through the hallway, which is still crawling with people. “But now? It's great. They're having a small party at their place tonight; we should go by for a bit, I can introduce you to some people.”
We step out into the sunshine and Grace immediately turns to her left, so I follow along assuming she knows where she’s going. She keeps up a steady stream of chatter as we make our way across campus.
“You never said where you were from. I'm only from about three hours away, so close enough I can still run home to Mom and Dad when I need to.”
“I'm from Oregon.”
“Oh, wow. That's pretty far away. I'd be scared to death to go all the way across country. No wonder your mom was freaking out. My mother would have had a total melt down.”
We have reached the student union. I reach to open the door and let Grace go in ahead of me. We are greeted by a blast of cool air, and a line of people waiting to get their badges made.
“You saw how they were.” I shrug my shoulders, uncertain how to explain the situation without going into a lot of detail. “I think we all need the chance to miss each other.”
We step forward as the line moves up. “We, ah, aren't very close anyway.” I slip my hands in the front pockets of my jeans. “They just, hadn't been planning on kids before my mom ended up pregnant with me, which makes them sound awful, and they aren't, but I really had nothing keeping me there.”
“Well.” I know she doesn't know what to say, and I'm socially inept enough that I don't know how to smooth it over either. So we stand in silence for a few moments, shuffling forward with the line.
“Did you eat lunch?” I finally ask. “Because we didn't stop and I'm starving.”
“Oh, me too.” She latches onto the change in conversation quickly. “Let’s eat first and then shop.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Chapter Two
Five hours later I’m standing in a pile of shopping bags in our dorm room. Grace had been a whirlwind in every store we entered. It hadn't taken long for her to discover that my sense of fashion was limited to loose jeans and t-shirts, so she had immediately taken over.
Along with the clothes, essentially an entire new wardrobe, she helped me outfit my side of the room with the essentials.
So now I have the sheets that my mother had forgotten to be concerned about until the last minute.
She wants me to attend the party at her brother’s house tonight, and while part of me wants to go, I’m not sure it’s the wisest decision. Grace said it wouldn't be a large party, but my definition of large is probably vastly different than hers.
And then there was the fact that I hadn't been to a party in an incredibly long time, and the thought of attending one tonight makes me nauseous.
But I had promised myself that I was going to make the effort to turn myself into a normal college freshman, so I guess I’m going to make the attempt.
She had kept up that steady stream of chatter the entire afternoon, bouncing from one subject to the next like a pinball machine. If she noticed that I did my best to keep the conversation on her, she didn't say anything.
I learned about her father, who was a lawyer, and her mother who was a high school English teacher. They had been high school sweethearts who had gone on to prove to be the exception to the rule and were still going strong over thirty years later.
She was the youngest of the three, which she had mentioned earlier, and had grown up tagging along after her brothers trying to worm her way into whatever they were doing.
Holden, she told me, had taught her how to throw a baseball, and a football, better than half the guys in her high school. And Cole had taught her how to throw a right hook.
It is obvious they are close, the entire family, and it made it easier for me to ask questions and keep the conversation on her because I was honestly interested.
“So, Delaney, what are you going to wear tonight? It's super casual, so no need to go overboard.”
“Ummm....” I look over to her as she comes out of the bathroom.
She's exchanged her shorts and tank for a simple pair of jeans and a violet colored halter top.
“Help me?” I ask.
Laughing, she bounces across the room. She reaches into my now full closet and pulls out a pair of what she called crop jeans that look exactly like regular jeans, only they are rolled about halfway up my calves. She pairs them with a long gray tank top. She holds both out to me.
“Put this on. I've got a great necklace to go with it. So glad we discovered we have the same shoe size. I have a pair of black sandals that are super cute and super comfy, which is hard to find.”
I hurry into the bathroom to change my clothes. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is the color of melting milk chocolate, and hangs down to my waist in thick
loose curls that Grace told me earlier she would kill for. My eyes, which I inherited from my Grandma Baker, are a cloudy blue that boarder on gray more often than not, and I have a small sprinkle of freckles on my nose.
I run a brush through my hair and then my toothbrush over my teeth. I slip on the clothes Grace has picked out and step back into the room. She is sitting on her bed with her cell phone tucked up between her ear and shoulder.
She holds up a necklace made of chunky turquoise colored stones in one hand and a pair of black sandals that will tie in a bow on top of my feet in the other.
“Yes, we'll be there in about thirty minutes. Do you need me to grab anything on the way over? Ok. So just an extra bag of ice?” She spits out a laugh as I settle the necklace around my neck.
She gives me a quick once over before giving me a thumbs up. “Is that Grant?” she asks into the phone. The way she says the name catches my attention.
When I look at her, she's still smiling, but it's different than it was just moments before.
“When did he get in? What? Grow up, Holden.” She laughs again at whatever her brother responded with. “Don't be a douche. Yea, yea, you're all talk. I'll see you soon. Tell Robby not to eat everything before we get there.”
She drops the phone on her bed.
“You look hot.”
I fidget with the hem of the tank top. “Really? It's not too much skin?”
“Oh, Delaney, you aren't even close to showing enough skin.” She winks. “We’ll work up to it. Let me just grab my purse and then we can go. I need to stop and pick up a bag of ice on the way.”
“And apparently we need to hurry if we want food.”
“Yeah, Robby and Grant just got there. Robby is a pig, or at least he eats like one. He doesn't look like one, which is disgusting. If I ate even a fourth of what he does I would be a million pounds.” She rolled her eyes. “It's ridiculously unfair.”
Raising one eyebrow I ask, “And Grant?”
We make our way to the stairs. The majority of the students are moved in, but the hall is still buzzing with activity as everyone tries to get settled in. Doors stand wide open and girls move in and out as they familiarize themselves with each other.
It was much like I would have pictured summer camp to be. Having never actually gone to summer camp myself, I only had movie references to go off of.
“You caught that, did you?”
Night has fallen, but the heat still remains. The overwhelming humidity slaps us in the face the second we walk outside. It was going to take some getting used to. We fall into step next to each other as we make our way to her car.
“Grant is Holden's best friend. We've known each other forever.”
“But?”
Grace laughs. “Yeah, the big but.” She runs her hand through her hair, which I have come to realize is a habit. “It sort of twisted around a little bit last year and became more than just friendship. It freaks Holden out a little. At first he was all like ‘that’s my little sister’ and then it went to ‘she’s not even eighteen.’”
She pauses while we settle into her car, an older Ford Escape that she called Betsy earlier. I have never heard of anyone naming their car.
“So we stepped back a little bit. But I turned eighteen four months ago and we told Holden he was out of reasons.” She pulls away from campus. “But we're still taking it incredibly slow. We've been friends forever, you know? And neither one of us wants to ruin that if this doesn't work out.”
She makes a couple of turns, pulling into a gas station not far from campus. “Give me just a second. I'll be right back.”
I watch her scramble out of the car and into the gas station. I have lucked out in the roommate department. It was one aspect of college life that I had been dreading. I probably could have scraped by in an apartment by myself off campus between the money from my Grandmother and the scholarships I had earned, but I simply hadn’t wanted to risk the chance of not being able to afford it and having to return home.
For me, returning home simply isn't an option. I doubt that I would ever actually make the trip back, even to visit. I know how crazy and selfish it makes me sound to say that if my parents want to see me again, they will have to come to me, but there are so many demons there that I don't want to face, and now that I am out, I refuse to be pulled back in.
I turn the radio on while I’m waiting on Grace, flipping through the stations until I find something that sounds good. I pull out my cell phone and look at the icon indicating there is a text. I click on the button and see one from my father, letting me know they had reached their layover safely, and one from my mother who tries once again to convince me that I am screwing up my life.
I slide the button across the screen to relock my phone without responding to either one of them. I don’t want to cave. I don’t want to go back, just because it is familiar. Even if I had been beyond miserable there, it was the only thing I had ever known.
Now I sit in new clothes which, while not overtly sexy or revealing, are not what I am used to, and I’m waiting on a girl who I honestly think might become a friend, on my way to a party with a bunch of people I don’t know.
I’m so far out of my comfort zone I can’t even see it anymore.
I glance up as Grace comes out of the gas station with a bag of ice in hand. I slip my phone back into my bag as she climbs into the car. She twists around to drop the bag of ice on the floorboard behind us.
“Alright, let's go.” She throws the car into reverse and moments later we’re back on the road.
“Ok, so give me the dirt. Did you leave a guy pining for you at home?”
I guess it is only natural for her to be curious about me. She has pretty much talked about herself nonstop all day.
“Nope. No guy.”
“Seriously? What's wrong with the guys in Oregon? You're gorgeous.”
I can feel the dark edges of a memory skating in and have to close my eyes to make it recede. My hands twist in my lap, fingers turning white as they curl into each other. There were so many things wrong with the guys in Oregon.
“I was a bit of a loner in high school.” I force the words out, happy to hear only the faintest hint of a tremor. “I've never actually found a guy I was interested in.”
“So you've never had a boyfriend.”
“Nope.”
Grace pulls the car up along the curb in front of a row of townhouses. She twists in her seat so that she is facing me head on.
“Really? So does that mean you've never been kissed? Or anything?”
I breathe in deep. The world is closing in. I force it to open back up, to push the edges back out again.
“Nope. Nothing.”
“Well, I don't think you'll be saying that for long. This is it. Let’s go see how much food Robby left for us.”
“Wait.” I snap out the word. Grace is half way out of the car, and spins around to look at me.
“What? Do I have something on my ass?” She starts wiping at the bottom of her jeans.
Shaking my head I say, “No, you're ass is fine. It's perfect in fact.”
“Oh, I know.” She says with a smirk as she sinks back into the driver’s seat of the car. “What's up?”