by Ann Garner
“I hate chick flicks,” I say before pulling a piece of pepperoni off my pizza and popping it in my mouth. “I like movies where things blow up. A lot.”
“See, I knew you were perfect for me. I think chick flicks should be illegal.”
“Oh, and all the ones that are already made can be put in a big pile and blown up.”
Cole laughs. “You have a bit of a violent streak there, Delaney. I never would have guessed.”
He pops in a movie then settles on couch next to me. We are merely moments into the opening credits before I turn to him. “Die Hard?”
“You said movies where thing blow up.”
“Yes, I did.”
We settle in to watch the movie. I only eat one piece of pizza while Cole packs away over half the box. Once he finishes the last of his pizza he leans back against the couch, one arm spread along the top, his fingers just barely touching my shoulder.
His fingers lay there for a moment before they tangle into the ends of my hair. He doesn't move them after that, and he isn't touching me in any other manner, but I feel the familiar heat slide through my body. My entire body seems to be tingling.
Then he shifts, just slightly, and his shoulder and leg are brushing against me now, and all the heat seems to shift inside of me in response, moving quickly to settle in between my thighs. I find myself shifting as well, with the familiar pull that my body has to his.
The simple movement causes my jeans to rock against my core and the heat kicks up and is now a slow burn.
I close my eyes, and my tongue flicks out and rolls across my lips.
“Don't do that.”
My eyes shoot open as my head turns. Cole isn't looking at me. His gaze seems to be focused intently on the TV screen.
“What?”
“Don't lick your lips. We've talked about that.” His gaze flicks to me now. “And you do that while you're wearing those,” he gestures to my glasses. “Yeah, the little restraint I have is about to crumble.”
“What restraint?”
“Exactly.” Cole says, as on the TV screen a loud explosion of bullets erupts.
His eyes are on mine, and I am mesmerized by the intensity I see in them. Before I can think about it, I roll my tongue out against my bottom lip.
“Fuck.” The hand still tangled in the edges of my hair slides ups, grasping the back of my neck, and he brings the two of us together.
He stops just short of kissing me, our lips so close that when he speaks, they brush against each other.
“Are you sure?”
Seriously? Does he honestly think I'm going to pull away from him now?
“Delaney?”
Shoving self-doubt and the slight tingle of fear aside, I cover that last bit of distance between us and lay my lips on his. His lips are soft and warm beneath mine, and I feel the heat of them slip down to join the fire already burning inside of me.
He takes the lead after a moment, after I sit there unsure of my next move. He tilts his head, dropping his eyes closed as he lets his lips move over mine.
It is everything a first kiss should be. Sweet and soft, while bordering on the edge of something more.
His tongue flicks across my bottom lip, much like my own has done that drove him crazy, and I gasp in surprise, allowing his tongue to slip inside. Instinct takes over, though my moves are not as sure as his.
All I can think about is him, the weight of his hand on the back of my neck, where his knees are brushing my hip, and the delicious warmth of his tongue as it explores my mouth.
This is what I had been avoiding?
I feel his other hand come up, brushing over my jaw, cupping it briefly before it moves again. His fingers skim down my side, following the curves of my body without really touching any of them. His hand finally settles on my hip.
He licks his tongue over my bottom lip before pulling back, his eyes hooded and dark as they meet mine. Smiling, he untangles his hand from the hair at the back of my neck.
“See? No restraint.”
The hand at my hip comes up, tapping my glasses where they sit on my nose. “These should be illegal. Or come with some sort of warning at least.”
“I'm thinking about wearing them every day,” I whisper, making Cole laugh.
***************
It is nearly midnight when I slip into my dorm room. Despite how incredibly quiet I try to be, Grace rolls over and faces me, wide awake, the moment I close the door behind me.
“You should be asleep.”
“Seriously?” She sits up in the bed, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. “Did you seriously think I was going to be asleep?”
I'm still floating on a cloud of happiness as I lean back against the door, my fingers touching my lips where I can still feel the heat from his.
“I know that look.”
“Hmm?”
Grace laughs. “You got your kiss. Tell me everything.”
“It was everything my first kiss should have been.”
“What?”
I blink slowly, still in a haze. Her tone has sharpened, and her eyes have narrowed as she watches me. What happened? What did I miss?
“What, what?”
She has shifted on the bed, moving down closer to the edge. Her short hair is scattered messily around her face, clearly tousled from sleep, but her eyes are clear, bright, and direct as they meet mine.
“You said it was everything your first kiss should have been,” she says slowly. I fight to keep the panic off my face. Had I really said that? Surely not.
“No? I really said that?” I try to make my voice light, try to bring in a hint of laughter. By the look on her face I can tell I'm not doing a good job of either.
“You said you’d never been on a date, Delaney, that you'd never been kissed.”
“I'm all turned around, Grace, that's all. I think he melted my brain. I misspoke.”
“You misspoke?”
I make myself move now, draping her jacket over her desk chair, sitting on my bed to pull off her boots. I can feel her eyes on me; can practically hear the wheels in her head turning while she watches me.
Earlier, I think, oh my God, earlier I had slipped, had gone back before I could stop myself and she had seen. She had questioned then. Now? Now, she would dig in.
“Grace. Seriously. Stop watching me. You're creeping me out.”
I yank my hair up on top of my head before stepping into the bathroom to brush my teeth and change into my pajamas. I take my time, studying my suddenly incredibly pale face, my too wide eyes.
A few simple words and all the happiness, all the progress I had made was fading away.
She would start to wonder, to ask questions, start to piece things together.
She would tell Cole.
My eyes drift shut at the thought.
He wouldn't look at me the same. None of them would. No one ever looked at me the same when they learned that I had been raped.
The word was too soft, too easy for what I had experienced.
My hands turn white where they hold on to the small pedestal sink. I am delaying the inevitable, and only fueling the fire in her mind the longer I stay hidden in the bathroom.
But I am assaulted by memories, held in place as they dance through my mind, spinning together until they are all I see, all I feel. And looking in the mirror I see the me from four years ago.
The broken, beaten, little girl who'd been forced to grow up in an instant.
Grace knocks on the bathroom door, and I blink, forcing myself back to the present as she calls my name. “Delaney?”
I wipe at the tears that spilled with the back of my hand. “I'll be right out.”
“Ok.”
I wash my face, wiping away the evidence of my tears, willing the demons away. I study my reflection a moment longer before forcing myself to leave the bathroom.
Grace is sitting in her bed, legs crossed beneath her, eyes intent on me as I slide into my o
wn bed. I turn off the lamp next to my bed, grateful for the darkness.
“What happened to you, Delaney?” Her voice is whisper soft and cuts right through me.
I almost tell her. I almost take my chances that she will be different, that I am different now.
Almost.
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Delaney,”
“It was a slip of the tongue, Grace,” I snap, harsher than I intend. “I was in a fog and I said the wrong words and you're making it into something it’s not.”
There is silence, save the light sound of our breathing, and I bite my lip as I wait in the dark.
“You can tell me, Delaney.” Her voice is soft and sure and brings tears to my eyes again. I am thankful I can hide them in the dark as they slip like secrets down the side of my head to become hidden in my hair.
“You can tell him.”
I have to wait until I know my voice won't shatter.
“There’s nothing to tell.”
Chapter Fifteen
“You've never played putt-putt before? Ever? Are you lying?” Grace demands, incredulous.
“Yes, Grace, I'm sure Delaney has some elaborate plan to hustle you at putt-putt.” Grant says dryly, coming up and throwing an arm around her shoulders. She hip checks him, glaring.
“Don't be an ass, Grant.”
“He can't help it.” Cole stands next to me, holding out a hot pink golf ball. “Here's your ball. Did you get the right size club?”
I frown down at the golf club in my hand. “They come in different sizes?”
Chuckling, Cole takes the club from me, holding it up against the side of my leg. The top of it hits at my waist.
“You're good. Are we actually going to play or are the two of you going to act like children all night?”
Grant and Grace are using their clubs to sword fight. The two of them are laughing like lunatics as Grace calls out, “Grant isn't acting.”
“Oh, really?” Grant drawls, dropping his club down by his side. “That wasn't very nice Gracie Lou, you hurt my feelings.”
“Aww, poor baby. Grant what are you doing? Seriously, Grant don't be a jackass. Put me down.”
“Now I'm a jackass? Remind me again why it is I keep you around?” He slaps her ass, which is an easy target as he has her slung over one shoulder, making his way to the first hole.
“Put me down and I'll show you.”
Grant drops her down in front of him with a smirk. “Show me what you got, baby.”
“How about she not?” Cole suggest with a shake of his head. “Jesus, are the two of you always like this?”
“They are,” I confirm, “It's kind of annoying, isn't it?”
Cole leans over, his lips brushing against my ear as he says, “We could give them a run for their money.”
He laughs at the instant blush that stains my checks as he pulls back, those lips now brushing against my cheek as he does.
“So, do we make it interesting?” Grant asks from where he and Grace have seemingly settled down. “Guys against girls?”
Grace narrows her eyes. “That doesn't seem fair. Delaney’s never played before. What are you after?”
Grant just winks. “Fine. We can play couple against couple. Think you can carry Delaney?”
“Carry me where?”
Grace gives me a pitying look. “Oh, Delaney. He wants to know if Cole thinks he can still beat us even though you'll suck.”
“Why do you think I won't be any good?”
“Don't worry about it, Del.” Cole reaches out to snag one of my hands. “Let me show you how to hit the ball correctly. Before you decide to hit one of them with the club.”
I totally suck at putt-putt. It's apparent by the third hole that if we are to win, then Cole is going to have to do it without my help. And the losing team as to spring for dinner.
“If they didn't put those stupid obstacles in the way this would be much easier.” I mutter.
“That’s the point.”
I glare at Grace. “Thank you, Captain Obvious.”
“You don't have to be a bitch about it. Sheesh.”
She lines up to hit the ball at the start of the eighteenth hole. Grant has already hit and is waiting somewhat impatiently at the end of the hole for the rest of us to take our first turn. Cole is standing directly behind me, one hand on my hip as he watches his sister.
He's taken to touching me, casual touches that send shivers through my body. He holds my hand, or touches my hip; he loves to play with my hair, tangling his fingers in the ends.
And he kisses me every chance he gets. Long and slow in his car when he's dropping me off, short and sweet when he meets me in the morning to walk me to class. Each and every one sends a slow burn through my body.
It's amazing how quickly I have adjusted to being touched, if only by him. Not only have I adjusted, I have come to crave it. Even the slightest brush of his body against mine sends shock waves throughout me.
“Hey.” Cole touches my arm, “Where'd you go? You okay?”
I blush. “Yes.” Grace has moved down to stand next to Grant and they are arguing again, over where they want us to take them for dinner once they win. “I think we should buy them McDonald’s and send them on their way. Quickly.”
Cole smirks, sliding his hand around my waist and pulling me flush against him. Every cell in my body instantly comes alive at the full body contact. My eyes flick up to his, seeing the heat reflected in his dark navy eyes as they lock on mine.
“I’ll have a pizza sent to the dorm,” he mutters, dipping down until he’s close enough to lay his lips against mine. His tongue flicks out, licking against my lips and I forget that I’m standing on the eighteenth hole of a putt-putt course, and that Grace and Grant are waiting for us, I forget everything but him as I open up to let his tongue slip inside and slide over mine.
My hands move up, sliding over his shoulders and down along the tight muscles of his back. I love the feel of his body under my hands. Love the way the muscles tighten and shift under my fingers whenever I touch him. It’s exhilarating, knowing that I affect him the way I do with just the slightest brush of my skin against his.
“Knock it off you two, Grant and I are hungry!”
I pull back from Cole slowly, my lips lingering against his for as long as possible, then turning up into a smile when I see that he is flipping Grace off behind my back. I lean forward again, pressing my smiling lips against his. I pull back again with a laugh when I hear Grace making gagging noises behind us.
“Let’s get this over with so we can ditch them.”
************************
I click to open the e-mail from my mother. I'm sure it will be more of the same that I've received from her for the last few months. She goes through her latest list of ailments, I'm only contributing to three now. That's an improvement.