by Mia Ford
So, I decided right then and there, I was going to put all of it out of my mind and just enjoy sleeping in his arms. I hadn’t slept like that with anyone in years, and I wanted to remember what it felt like so that when I went back to the cold and empty bed at my house, I could dream of the feeling. I knew from tomorrow on, that would be all I had left of Cameron, just my dreams.
Chapter 19
Cameron
The warm sun shined in through the frosted windows, stirring me from my sleep. I slowly opened my eyes and yawned, stretching my arms high over my head. I hadn’t slept that good in a really long time, nor had I spent the night in a woman’s bed in years. In fact, the last time I did it was only due to the fact that I was too drunk to even walk out, much less drive my rental car anywhere. This morning, though, was different, and I could tell it was because I couldn’t wait to turn over and see Bea’s face. I pulled my arms back down and slowly turned myself toward Bea, lifting my head up on my hand. I looked down at her and her cascading curls spread all around her, and I smiled. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, with her fair skin, her pouty lips, and her soft features.
She moaned softly and shifted, but her eyes stayed closed, her mouth twitching into a smile. She must be having an amazing dream, hopefully about me and not some other handsome man waiting at home for her. I shook my head and rubbed my chest, feeling a very strange sensation flowing through me. I recognized it, but barely, as it was very foreign to the life I had been living. I was jealous, jealous of any man that had the chance to have Bea in his life on a long-term basis. The realization started to hit me like a ton of bricks. For the first time ever, I wouldn’t actually mind being in a relationship, but only with Bea.
I could already imagine what it would be like to come home every night to her, kissing her face, laughing, watching movies curled up on the couch, and eating dinner that we could take turns making. I could imagine taking her home to my family and having them absolutely love her, a feeling of pride running through me that I got to have her as my partner. I could imagine what it would be like to get together with Hailey and whatever man she was dating at the time, and have Christmases and New Year’s together. At the same time, though, there was only really one place that I would miss not visiting, and that was Aspen. It had always felt like home to me. The light fluffy snow, the long slopes, and the people that just loved to ski, they were what made me love the place. I do have to admit that my love for it used to also include the women, but ever since I met Bea, I seemed to have lost all interest in anyone else.
I reached down and brushed the hair gently from Bea’s face, leaning forward and kissing her gently on the cheek. I knew that she would be leaving that day, and although I didn’t want her to, she would appreciate not waking up moments before she had to check out. Bea began to stir, reaching up and feeling the place my lips had just brushed against. She smiled and slowly opened her eyes, yawning and stretching her arms over her head.
“Good morning.” I smiled. “Did you sleep well?”
“Like a baby,” she said, smiling. “You?”
“Probably better than any sleep I have ever gotten,” I said. “But unfortunately, it’s time to get up and get moving. We both have to be on our way soon.”
“No,” she groaned, turning over and burying her face in my lap.
“Well, I’m sure there is time for that.” I laughed.
“Nice try,” she said, sitting up and punching me in the arm. “What time is it?”
“It’s about eight,” I replied.
“Oh, gosh,” she said, throwing the covers from her and jumping out of the bed. “I have to check out in an hour. I wonder if Hailey is back yet.”
She threw on her robe and walked out of the room. I could hear her walking through the whole suite and then getting on her phone. It was obvious that Hailey wasn’t back yet.
“Wake up,” she said. “We only have two hours to get out of here.”
She walked back in the room, shaking her head and chuckling. I watched as she pulled a brush out and brushed her hair back into a ponytail, having no time to shower. She pulled some clothes out of the drawers and got dressed, smiling with blushed cheeks as I watched. When she was done, she collected my clothes and set them on the bed.
“You might want to get dressed,” she said, smiling. “Hailey will be here in just a minute.”
I smirked and climbed out of bed, standing fully nude by the bed. She blushed and looked away, pulling her suitcase out and starting to load her clothes into it. I pulled on my boxers and tux pants and buttoned my tux shirt far enough to walk to the elevator and down one floor to my room. I needed to start packing, too, so I could meet Glen at the airport in an hour or so. First, though, I needed to talk to Bea about the future, and if it held anything for the two of us.
“Bea,” I said, watching her walk out of the bathroom. “Come sit down for a second.”
She stopped and looked at me, already knowing what was coming. She put the last of her things in her suitcase and walked over, sitting down next to me on the bed. She turned toward me and smiled, allowing me to take her hands in mine. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. However, before the words could leave my mouth, she cut me off.
“You don’t have to do this,” she said, smiling.
“I don’t have to do what?”
I was slightly confused, not knowing exactly what she was expecting me to say. She smiled and let go of my hands, standing and walking over to her suitcase. She zipped it shut and pulled it down on the floor. She turned back to me and leaned against the dresser.
“You don’t have to tell me that you aren’t looking for a relationship,” she said.
“Well, I was going to—”
“Seriously, Cameron, it is okay.” She chuckled. “This was really amazing, the whole thing. I loved spending time with you, learning how to ski, learning about you, and having a crazy time. I really didn’t expect this out of my trip at all, but I am so glad that you found me. However, I know that your career takes you all over the country, and I know that I can’t expect you to magically want to settle down because you had a few good weeks with me.”
“That is what I thought,” I said, lowering my head. “But my heart, it is—”
“It is fighting you, I know.” She laughed. “Mine is, too, but I want us to keep this, this last night, and these last few weeks in our minds. I want this to be what we think about when we cross each other’s minds. Next year, I will come back here, and I will find you. Then, if we are both in this place, we can enjoy another couple of weeks in each other’s arms. Until then, we need to keep living our lives.”
“I understand,” I said, not sure what to say to that, but getting up and walking over to her. “I had an amazing time. So, until next year, take care of yourself.”
“Of course,” she said quietly as I leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
I grabbed my jacket from the table and walked out, not looking at her again. As I opened the door, Hailey walked in, smiling at me. I smiled back and left, turning the corner and walking down the corridor to the elevator. I paused for a moment, thinking about going back to Bea, but I sighed and continued, making my way to my room and packing my things quickly. I called a car to pick me up out front and looked one last time around the room. Part of me was really sad that I had to leave Aspen, and the other couldn’t figure out my mixed emotions over leaving Bea. Maybe she was right. Maybe this was for the best.
I took the car to the airport and walked through security, checking my tickets. We were on our way to Upstate New York to work there for a couple of months. I never really enjoyed my time there. The air was thin, and everything was always overcast and dirty. I shrugged my shoulders, figuring it was just another stop on the way. As I approached the terminal, I saw Glen across the hall, looking down at his ticket and holding tightly to his luggage. He never checked his bags after losing them on his way to Alaska and having to buy all new gear. It was almost an ob
session for him.
“Hey,” he said, looking up and seeing me.
“Hey, Glen,” I said, forcing a smile. “How was your trip?”
“It was fantastic,” he said. “I saw my family and my sisters, and I had lunch with an old girlfriend. She was kind of that girl that got away.”
“Did you let her get away again?”
“Maybe.” He chuckled. “Work was calling. What was I supposed to say?”
“I knew you weren’t that willing to give up this life.” I laughed.
“You ready to get out of here and head to New York?”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “Sure, sounds good. You know how I don’t like to be in one place very often.”
“Did you say goodbye to Bea?”
“Yeah,” I replied and then changed the subject. “I think I’m going to grab a coffee for the plane. You want one?”
“No.” He chuckled. “I’ve had way too much caffeine already. I just had a red eye from home to here.”
“That’s right,” I said, nodding. “I completely forgot.”
“You sure you’re okay?”
“Huh? Yeah, I just raced out of the hotel. You know I am always late to everything.” I laughed, pulling out my wallet. “I woke up like an hour before I needed to be here, so I packed as fast as I could. I always hate it when I have to rush. I didn’t even stop by and have breakfast. Though I did make a detour and pick up our checks.”
“Oh, great,” he said, laughing. “I spent a bit more than I expected to while I was home.”
“That always happens,” I replied. “Okay, I’m gonna grab a coffee. I’ll be right back.”
I could see the look that Glen was giving me. He had known me long enough to know that I was not actually okay, and that something else was going on that I didn’t really want to talk about. Usually, he would hound me about it until I answered, but I think he knew that it had something to do with Bea. He also knew how sensitive I was to the whole idea of getting attached to someone at one of the resorts. Yet, there I was, moping around, trying to remember what happened that I fell so hard for the girl with the striking eyes. I knew that I had made a mistake, but it wasn’t one that I would have done any differently had I known how it would turn out.
Glen was a good friend, and I was really glad that he decided to not bring things up. I knew that if I had to explain, it would just make me feel worse. I didn’t know when I would feel better about all of this, but I knew I had to try. Bea had made it very clear that she didn’t want to be involved, and even though I wanted to believe that it was really because she was right, I knew part of it had to do with her own fears.
Hopefully, I would eventually be able to let this go.
Chapter 20
One Month Later
Bea
It had been a little over a month since I left Aspen, and still, every morning when I woke up, I thought about Cameron, and every night when I laid down to go to sleep, I thought of him, too. I wondered where he was and if he was thinking of me, too. I wondered if our paths would actually cross again, or would it really just be a romance left to our memories? I had picked back up at work and was writing another romance. This one was completely up to my own creativity. When I read back through the first chapter, I found that I had created a character with Cameron’s sense of humor, his charisma, his charm, and his sexy as hell smile. I guessed I thought that if I wrote him out of my head and onto a sheet of paper, I could keep him there and finally get a good night’s sleep.
This morning, though, when the light shimmered through the windows and my eyes shot open, I immediately jumped from the bed and ran to the bathroom. Getting the stomach flu had nothing on whatever was going on with me. I sat there breathing heavily, my forehead resting on the cool porcelain seat of the toilet. Lord, I felt like complete hell. I was shuddering, my stomach was doing flip flops, and sweat was pouring from my forehead. I sat there for quite a while, too afraid to get up and end up puking all over the floor. After my stomach had settled, I pulled myself off the floor with a groan and walked over to the sink, looking up at my pale face in the mirror. I pulled the thermometer from the cabinet and took my temperature. It was strange. I didn’t have a fever.
I took in a deep breath and brushed my teeth, pulling my hair back in a ponytail and walking out to the kitchen. I fixed myself some toast, but before I could even think of biting into it, I was back in the bathroom, lying across the toilet, hating my life. My phone buzzed wildly against the marble counter around the sink, and I reached up and grabbed it. It was Hailey.
“Hello?” I answered, sounding almost as miserable as I felt.
“Hey, uh, why do you sound like you are half-dead?”
“Maybe because I feel like my insides are trying desperately to become my outsides,” I said.
“Oh, gosh. Is it the flu?”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “No chills, no aches, and no fever. Well, no aches besides my lower back, but I am assuming it’s just because I have been tossing and turning like crazy at night.”
“Food poisoning?”
“I ate like a bagel and a cup of coffee yesterday,” I said. “And I’ve had food out of the same package.”
“Weird,” she said. “Well, I’ll jump in the car and pick you up some of that soup—”
“Don’t say it,” I said, feeling nauseated again. “Just let yourself in. I’ll most likely be dead on the bathroom floor.”
“Oh, good,” she said. “You know how I feel about finding dead bodies in the kitchen. It’s much harder to clean up after.”
I hung up the phone with her and took a deep breath, laying back on the cold floor and staring up at the ceiling. I laid there, not moving until Hailey showed up, walking through the bathroom door and standing over me, looking down. I groaned loudly and rubbed my face, feeling like the nausea had possibly passed. Hailey reached her hand down and helped me to my feet, leading me into the living room and sitting me down on the couch. I curled up in a ball with my head on the pillow, staring out at the snow falling outside. It was the beginning of February, easily the snowiest month of the year, and I still hadn’t been out on the slopes since I got home.
“I’m sorry you don’t feel well,” Hailey said, sitting down in the chair by the fire. “I sure hope that you aren’t pregnant.”
Hailey laughed, looking over at the fire, but her words rang out deeply in my mind. Slowly, I sat up, thinking about the period I was supposed to have three days ago. I stood up and braced myself, feeling dizzy for a moment. Hailey looked up at me and furrowed her brow, watching me hobble over into my kitchen. I ran my fingers across the cold black marble of the kitchen counters and stopped at the fridge where I kept my calendar hanging. I scanned the month before for my red dot and saw that I had kept my period for a lot less time than normal. I shook my head and counted the days until I was supposed to get the next one.
My finger stopped, lingering over the day that had long passed, and the breath went out of my chest. I had never been late on my period, not even during the most stressful times in my life. On top of that, I took the pill. At the thought of the pill, I raced over to my room and pulled my suitcase out of the closest. I unzipped the front and pulled out the little, round case that should have been empty. Slowly, I opened it and then closed my eyes, realizing that on my trip, I had completely forgotten about taking my pill. Without thought, I just went on that way, too wrapped up in my own thoughts over the last month.
I shook my head and covered my face. My head filled with visions of Cameron and me rolling around in the bed at the resort, making love without a care. He hadn’t worn a condom, and I could distinctly remember the feeling of him when he came inside of me. How could I have been so stupid and so reckless? Even when I wished for a baby with Grant, I never just forgot to take my pill. I had been extra careful with that my whole life, except for when I was in Aspen, on some quest to find my freedom.
“You’re not pregnant,” Hailey said, walking into the ro
om. “I was joking.”
“I don’t know,” I said, feeling panicky.
“Calm down,” she said. “Get dressed. We will go get a test.”
I shook my head, and with shaking hands, I put the pill case down and walked over to my dresser. I pulled out a sweatshirt and jeans and pulled them over my head. Hailey helped to get my sweatshirt situated. I looked up at Hailey as she buttoned my pants for me, and I grabbed her hands, tears filling my eyes.
“How could I have been so stupid?” I began to cry. “Thank you for being such a good friend.”
“Okay, calm down, weepy,” she said. “Don’t let those hormones get the best of you just yet. This could just be pure coincidence. You could have some kind of virus that made you miss your period.”
“I doubt it,” I said, drying my tears.
We walked to the door and out into the snow, climbing into Hailey’s SUV and heading out to the closest grocery store. When I got there, I followed after Hailey who seemed to know exactly where she was going. I had never bought a pregnancy test before, and I felt like everyone was looking at me with disgusted eyes. She pulled one off the shelf and showed it to me, stepping closer to talk.