by Rose, Aubrey
I’d heard the stories before. We all had. But Blaise had a way of making it seem like this was the first time you had ever heard the story. His eyes were brightly animated as he drew the picture in the air of the Scarred Prince.
“And there was one awful, deep scar. It started at his ankle and curled up around his leg, around his waist, around his chest, and up to his neck. He was more scar than skin, by the look of it.”
Nobody breathed. Then the same cub chirped up again.
“Then what happened?”
“Hush!”
“Shut up, Blaise is telling the story!”
Blaise took a deep breath and pulled his body up to its full height. My brother was tall—he’d gotten that side of it from my dad—and when he loomed over the fire he let his wolf out, just a bit. His eyes flashed with a raw animal fury and his teeth were bared and sharp. When he spoke, it was between a growl and a rumble.
“The Scarred Prince took one step forward—BOOM!—and the earth trembled.”
A scent caught my attention, something familiar. I sniffed the air. You could barely smell through the campfire smoke, but I could tell that there was somebody outside of the ring of the campfire. My heart pounded as my eyes darted around the clearing. Then I saw him. He was wearing dark robes and something over his hair, but I had been practicing figuring out scents, and I knew this one.
It was Blaise’s friend, Francis. I turned my head slightly and saw him creeping up through the trees toward the group. He put his finger to his lips when he saw me look back. I turned my head back to the fire, smiling. My heart began to calm down. It was only Francis.
All of the children leaned forward as Blaise lowered his voice.
“And then… the Scarred Prince reached out his hands, and…”
“BOO!”
Francis leapt out from the darkness, his robes flying out to make him seem huge. All of the young cubs screamed, jumping away from the fire and scattering. Ana shrieked and buried herself into my embrace, nearly knocking me off of the log. The children ran into each other in fright, falling down and screaming, even when they realized it was Francis and not the Scarred Prince at all.
“It’s alright,” I said to Ana. “It’s okay. See? It’s just Francis.”
But Ana was whimpering, terrified. Even when most of the cubs came bounding back to the fire for more, she trembled in my arms. Blaise and Francis were laughing with the other older shifters. The cubs gathered around back onto their logs.
“Wow, that was a scary story!”
“Super awesome! I’m going to do that next time! Boo!”
“How did he get the scars?” one cub asked Blaise.
“That’s another story,” Blaise said.
“Is it true?” Ana asked.
“I don’t know,” Blaise said, in his creepy voice. “Do you think it’s true?”
“Of course not,” I said. “Shame on the both of you for scaring them so much.” One of the other little girls was still crying, and the youngest cub—a little boy named Donny—had piddled his pants. I stood up and took their hands.
“Aw, you’re such a spoilsport,” Francis said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.
“It’s not true. None of this is true,” I said firmly. “Now come on. Let’s get you to bed.”
“But then the Scarred Prince will come and eat me!” Donny moaned. The little girl began a fresh set of sobs. My chest clenched. Blaise should have warned them. He should have told them that they were too young to hear these stories. But of course he didn’t care at all.
“You’ll be fine. It’s just a story. Right, Blaise?”
I eyed my brother. He rolled his eyes.
“Right?” I couldn’t control the rising anger inside of me.
“Right, right, okay. What’s your problem? Jeez.”
“My problem?” I seethed. “My problem is that I have to deal with all of your problems.”
“Well, don’t deal with them, then,” Blaise spat back.
“You know what?” My irritation burst through. “When you’re alpha, I won’t ever clean up any of your messes again! And you’ll have to deal with the consequences!”
“Fine! Maybe I’ll just kick you out of the pack, then!”
My eyes burned with tears at that, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of crying in front of him and his friends. I wasn’t a little girl anymore, even if he was anything but grown up. I channeled my tears into fury instead.
“Argh! You are so immature!” I yelled. Spinning around, I grabbed the hands of the crying cubs. “Come on,” I said. “Let’s go.”
“Good! Stay gone, why don’t you?” Blaise yelled after me.
I strode back through the forest with the two young cubs clinging to my arms and Ana close behind us. At every creak of a branch they jumped in fright. I bit my lip as a tear escaped my eye and slid down my cheek. My brother was the fun one, the popular one. And here I was again, dealing with his problems.
“Maybe I will leave the pack,” I whispered to myself. “See how he likes it then.”
I hated him. I hated all of them. Right then and there, I swore that I’d leave the pack. Then they’d be grateful for everything I did around here, when I was gone. My mom had made me apply to a few colleges, and I had gotten into some of them. I still didn’t know what I wanted to study, but I guess that didn’t matter too much. After all, I would be out of here. Away from all this, able to make new friends.
I will leave the pack. I will leave.
I will.
Chapter Three
By the time I had dropped off the cubs, it was cold enough to freeze my breath. My anger, though, still made my blood hot.
I ducked back into our house, hoping that nobody would hear me and I could go to sleep without having to talk to anyone. I cleaned up and brushed my teeth, but when I flopped into bed I heard footsteps on the stairs. I sighed, wishing that I didn’t have to share a room with Blaise. It would be so nice to have some privacy and not have my parents barging in at any time. We were never allowed to lock our door.
Now, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I breathed in deeply, listening to the footsteps at the door and smelling the scent of violets and pine. It was my mom. She pushed the door open slowly.
“Kinaya?”
I fluttered my eyes open as though I had just woken up. She walked over and sat next to me on the bed. Her hands tucked the covers in under my shoulders, and for a moment I just watched her.
Her long red curls spiraled down over her pale shoulders. Looking at her, I thought that she was everything I couldn’t be. My mother was all womanly curves and graceful movements, just like Dee. When I hit puberty, my red hair had frizzed out into an unmanageable mess and my skin had gone crazy. I had ballooned into a lumpy, awkward excuse for a girl. For years, my mother had told me that I would grow out of it. My skin had cleared up, just in time for me to get a thousand freckles on my face. And my awkwardness seemed here to stay. I cursed Blaise again. He’d grown out of his awkwardness and kept his immaturity. For me, it was the other way around.
“What’s up, mom?” I murmured, trying to forget Blaise. I’d leave the pack, soon enough. Then I would never have to see him again.
“Do you want me to tell you a story?” she asked.
I shook my head.
“I’m too old for stories.”
“Well. Already too old for stories, and you haven’t even had your birthday feast!”
“I guess so,” I mumbled.
“The feast is tomorrow,” my mom said.
“And?”
“Do you know which boys you want to dance with?”
I sighed. Again this question.
“I’ll dance with all of them. Just like last year.” I’ll step on all of their toes too, just like last year.
“Aren’t there any of them who are special?”
“No.”
“Not even William?”
“Mom, stop. I don’t like Will.”
“Nothing! Okay? Nothing’s wrong with him.” Just that he isn’t the one for me. I frowned. Dee knew that he wasn’t the right one, too. Maybe that’s what she didn’t want to tell me before. Maybe I had to leave the pack in order to find my true mate. My mom was still stuck on Will, though.
“He seems to like you a lot. His parents were talking with me the other day, and—”
“Mom, just stop it. I don’t need your help dating.”
“I know. When you find your Calling, you’ll know.”
I stopped talking and listened a bit more closely. Despite everything else, my mom knew what it was like to find your one true mate. I had no idea. From what I’d heard about it, finding your Calling seemed almost as mythical as finding the Scarred Prince during a camping trip.
“What was it like?” I asked softly. My mother smiled.
“When I met your father, it was the best feeling in the world. I’d found him. My perfect mate.”
I frowned.
“You didn’t know you were a shifter, though.”
“I didn’t. I didn’t know anything about the Calling, or that I would feel it once I met my true mate. But when I saw him, there was this shock of familiarity. It was like I’d been waiting my whole life for him to come along. And then there he was. My prince. You’ll find your mate someday, honey. And when you do, it’ll feel like you’re coming home for the first time.”
“I don’t feel that way about any of the boys in the pack,” I said. A thought danced on the edge of my mind. A dark figure, tall and muscled. The one from my dreams.
“You might, later. It’s different when you’re still growing up. Maybe one day you’ll see someone you’ve known your whole life, and then you’ll see them in a totally new way.”
“Maybe. I don’t think so. I don’t care about any of them at all.”
“It’s alright to just have friends for now.”
“Sure,” I said, sarcasm slipping into my voice. “If I had any friends.”
Apart from a few of the younger cubs who looked up to me, I hadn’t made friends in the pack. Well, Dee. But she didn’t count. All of the girls my age stayed away from me. I don’t know if it was because I was the daughter of the alpha, or because I was so awkward it hurt.
Either way, I didn’t care. I did my schoolwork, I helped Dee, and I kept my head down. Once I grew up, I could move away. To college, maybe, or somewhere else. Traveling. Someplace that wasn’t here. This place was home for everyone else, but it wasn’t home for me.
“I worry about you sometimes, honey.”
“Yeah, well, don’t.”
“Telling a mother not to worry about their child is like telling the rain not to fall on your head.”
“Maybe you should get an umbrella.”
She sighed.
“I only want you to be happy, Kinaya.”
I was silent. She didn’t care about my happiness, not really. All of these preparations had been for Blaise. It felt like every birthday leading up to this one had been fake, and now I was seeing the true side of everybody. And nobody cared about me, not really. Blaise was the new alpha male. He would be the one to lead the pack. Not me. I was a pale imitation of him, a shadow behind my twin brother.
“Kinaya—”
“Stop it! Just leave me alone! I’m fine!”
She left me, not making a sound as she padded down the stairs gracefully. God, she was so graceful.
I tossed and turned. My mom had been pressuring me to find a mate since I was thirteen. Honestly, I didn’t care. I mean, I thought about boys, but not like that. Not with any boys here.
My eyes darted to the door. Quickly I made my way across the bare floorboards. The wood was cold under my feet. I locked the door and ran back to bed, jumping under the covers.
Forget the rules. I want some privacy.
I pulled the top blanket under my chin and closed my eyes. In the darkness, I didn’t have to think about the feast or any of the preparations. My breathing grew slower, deeper. I tried to make my body sink back into the mattress. I hated thinking about my awkward body. I wished it would disappear. In the darkness, it could.
Under the blankets, I touched myself. My breath caught in my throat as desire clenched my body tight.
A mate…
I didn’t think of any of the boys in the pack. How could I? None of them were men. I hadn’t ever felt the Calling with any of them. When I touched myself, I thought about somebody else. I didn’t know what his face looked like. He was a shadow in my mind.
But in my mind, he held me with strong arms. In my mind, I let him take off my clothes slowly. First my shirt, then my pants. Then…
“Ohh,” I murmured. My fingers stroked my panties. Between my thighs, I tingled. His face was obscured, but all I needed to see were his hands. They moved along my body, caressing my skin, then gripping me hard. I rocked against my hand as I imagined him behind me, pressing against me.
Kinaya. The voice whispered in my ear. It was a growl, a low whisper that rumbled through my body and sent the tingle into a full-blown ache. I twisted under the blanket.
You’re my mate.
Half-dreaming, half-awake, I writhed in pleasure. I could feel the ghosts of his kisses on my neck, my back. Again and again I stroked myself, biting back the moans so that nobody in the house could hear.
The shadow pinned me down to the bed. I could almost feel the hands on my shoulder, the dream was so real.
My fingers rocked back and forth, pressing harder. My eyes clenched shut. I imagined him above me, his weight on my body. It felt real, so real. I rocked faster, my breath coming in short gasps.
For all of my imagining, I didn’t know what sex would actually feel like. Some of the prettier girls in the pack had already been there and back again, but I didn’t dare to ask them. How could I? We weren’t friends. And yet, now, as I imagined him mounting me, penetrating me, I clenched inside and nearly burst with the ache of pleasure as I clamped my legs against my hand.
Kinaya.
His breath was hot. His hands were tight, I felt them on my whole body. Burning, burning, red hot. I plunged my hand between my thighs and bit my pillow to keep from crying out as I neared the top of my peak. My hands were slick with sweat and something else. My heart pattered in my ears. Then, through the beating of my body, I heard something.
“Kinaya?”
I gasped, sitting upright, all of my blood rushing to my face. There was a shadow just behind the door, but I could tell the scent instantly. Blaise knocked slightly, not loud enough to wake anyone else up.
“Kinaya? Are you asleep?” he whispered.
My cheeks were burning. I was glad it was dark. With three strides, I was at the door and unlocked it. Then, before he could even open the door, I had jumped back into bed.
Blaise didn’t say anything else to me, only got into the bed on his side of the room. I turned to the wall, shame burning through my body. I was sure he knew what I was doing. He didn’t say anything, though, and soon he was snoring slightly.
Frustration boiled in my blood. Frustration over the whole birthday feast, frustration that I hadn’t gotten the release I needed. Frustration that I shared everything, everything, with my twin brother who took all of the glory and attention and gave nothing.
Of course he could sleep. He didn’t have anything to worry about.
Tomorrow, he would be the alpha.
Chapter Four
When morning came, I trundled down to the kitchen table still in my pajamas before Blaise could get up. The floorboards were cold under my feet, and I sighed as I caught a cinnamon scent wafting from the kitchen. I’d hoped to be the first one up today, but—
“Surprise!” My mom waved a spatula in the air. “Your favorite! Cinnamon pancakes!”
I smiled weakly at my parents. The smell of cinnamon filled the kitchen and my stomach growled. Traitor.
“Thanks, Mom,” I said. I wasn’t sure what t
o do. I didn’t want to get pulled into a family breakfast, but those pancakes smelled good. And Blaise wasn’t up yet… I shifted my weight at the doorway.
“Well come on and sit down,” she said. “Happy birthday!”
“Happy birthday, sweetheart,” my dad said, pulling me over and planting a kiss on the top of my head. I plunked into a seat. It was nice to have both of my parents to myself, if only for a little while.
“Do you feel older?” my mom asked, turning back to the pancakes.
“I feel a whole day older than yesterday,” I said. “It’s incredible.”
“Don’t you sass me,” my mom said, grinning.
“Go ahead and sass her all you want,” Dad said. “It’s your birthday.”
“Damien!”
I laughed at the expression on my mom’s face. It felt good to be here, and as my mom served out pancakes onto my plate, I looked at my parents and thought about what it would have been like if I had been an only child. Just me… and them. A warmth ran through my chest.
And then I caught his scent.
“Hey everybody,” Blaise said, coming in and plopping down in his chair.
“Happy birthday!” Dad said. Mom came over to serve him pancakes.
“Man, it’s like an early birthday feast!” Blaise said. “This is great. Thanks! I can’t wait for this afternoon…”
I frowned as Blaise continued yammering about what he was going to do with his friends before the feast. The image I had of us as a family dissipated. It was always about Blaise whenever he was around. He had a way of filling up the entire room once he came in.
Thankfully, he had to take a break from talking in order to eat. His dark red hair fell over his face as he dug into his pancakes. His hair wasn’t frizzy at all, and he looked almost as handsome as my dad. Every day I looked at a mirror of myself, one who was better in every way.
It was terrible.
They were talking about the birthright ceremony when my thoughts drifted back to the table.