by Angel Lawson
“Can I talk to you—in private?
Oh, god. Not again.
My eyes bugged. I knew they did. I could feel it but this was my goal, to stir the pot and get people talking. I sighed and grabbed his arm, pulling him over to a picnic table in the school lawn. “I’ll talk to you, away from everyone else, but not alone.” Stupid Eric. Learned my lesson with that one. “What do you want?”
“Yeah, okay,” he said, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.
“Spit it out,” I said. “Fine, look, are you gay? Because that I was not expecting.”
His brown eyes snapped to my own, “What? No. No. I am not gay.”
“Okay then what?”
“I thought maybe, um...”
“Tick tock, Garrett.”
“Will you go out with me?”
“And by ‘go out’ you mean...” I prompted. It was pathetic that I had to ask.
“Out. Like for coffee or something.”
I eyed him for a minute. “And by coffee do you mean have sex? Because I am not having sex with you.”
“What? Oh my god, Heaven!” He looked around to see if anyone was listening. Surprisingly, no one was.
“Well, you can’t blame me. You’ve heard the rumors.”
It was his turn to look suspicious. “Yeah, rumors.”
“Okay then. That’s gonna be a ‘no’.” I knew I was being irrational. I looked like a slut, had been acting like a slut, but when called one I was getting pissy. I started off toward the building again.
“Wait,” Garrett stopped me with a large, warm hand. “Look, just come with me. This afternoon to the coffee shop. I’ll drive and pay. Just a date—nothing, uh, sexual.”
“A date?”
He smiled. “A date.”
Chapter 5
Garrett was sweet. And funny. And completely not interested in me. The minute we walked into the coffee shop, he flung a wiry arm around my shoulders and planted a gentle kiss on my cheek. It was sweet, but a little fast. I know people assumed I was easy, but come on, buy me a coffee first.
“What was that?” I hissed in his ear.
“What?”
“Garrett, don’t make me walk out of here.” Because I really didn’t want to walk home. These booties were cute as hell but not made for a three-mile walk home.
He sighed. “Fine, look, do you see Sarina over there?”
I nodded; Sarina was a cute sophomore at school with us. She was busy helping a customer. More than once, she glanced in our direction.
“I wanted to make her jealous by showing up with you,” he confessed.
“Garrett!”
“See, I knew you would be mad. This is why I didn’t tell you.”
“Really? Because I’m pretty sure I’m mad now because you didn’t tell me, dumbass.” I wanted to be indignant, but since I had my own plan to make one boy jealous by using another boy, it seemed a little hypocritical. Although, I was a little bummed. Garrett was cute and nice.
Did these guys only want to use me to get something else?
Seemed like it.
“I’m sorry,” he said. I gave him the stink eye. “No, really. It’s just...Sarina is awesome, and way out of my league. I heard her talking about how she thought you were kind of badass the other day. So I thought if you would go out with me, then maybe she would, too.”
I had to wonder what kind of morals Sarina had if she thought I was cool, in light of recent events. Whatever. The plan was to get people talking and for people to notice me. It seemed to be working.
“Why can you ask me out and not her?” I asked. “If I’m such a badass, you should be terrified of me.”
He shrugged. We were in line now, moving closer to the counter. “I’ve known you forever. I’m not sure what happened down at the beach, but I figured you could say yes, or no. You said yes.”
“Great. Well, now what?”
He adjusted his glasses. “I’m not sure.”
Time was up and we were at the front of the line. Sarina smiled when she saw Garrett and her eyes widened just a bit when she saw me next to him. Motivated by his sad story and news of my badassery, I leaned into his side and wrapped my arm around his stomach, anchoring myself to him.
“What would you like, Heaven?” he asked. He was being all smooth and gentlemanly. Crap. Now I was bummed again.
“Just a hot chocolate, actually.” I smiled warmly. Sarina watched our every move.
Garrett placed his order, chatting quickly with her. Minutes later, she slid the two paper cups across the counter. I decided to take the opportunity to do what Garrett was obviously too weak to do on his own.
“Thanks for the drink and the fantastic afternoon. See you soon, okay?” I kissed him on the cheek.
“Um...okay...” he stammered. His eyes flashed between me and Sarina. I threw him for a loop but I knew what I was doing. With a quick smile at her and a lingering hand on Garrett’s hip before I walked away, I set it all in motion. She smiled back. She was no dummy. If she thought I was a badass, then stealing my recent conquest would pique her interest even more. Sure enough, before I even walked three steps, she saw the break I was giving her and began flirting with a confused but blissfully happy Garrett.
Feeling powerful, I pushed open the door and was hit by a gust of damp, cold air. Great. So much for an awesome exit. I had no car and no ride back to school. I wrapped my coat tightly around my waist and started walking. I considered stopping by the police station to get a lift from my mom, but she would wonder why I was stranded without a car in the first place, so that was out.
Now would be a nice time for Oliver to show up again.
As if a fairy godmother heard my plea, a sleek, black car drove up next to me. The passenger window rolled down and out popped the head of my Prince Charming. Jackson Hall.
“Hey, Heaven.”
I stopped and peered into the open window. Anderson was driving. His eyes were forward, fingers tapping impatiently on the steering wheel. “Hey.”
“You need a ride?”
I wanted to say no if Anderson was going to be a jerk, but there was a bigger plan, and my freezing hands and pinched toes begged otherwise. They wanted in that car badly. “If it’s not a bother.”
“Nah,” Jackson said, that delicious grin widening across his face. He opened the door and hopped out of the seat, pushing it forward so he could cram his long legs into the back. He was giving me the front seat. Maybe Garrett wasn’t the only one with manners around town.
“Thanks,” I said, climbing in. I looked to the left. “Hey, Anderson.”
“Hi.” His fingers tightened on the leather wheel—the whites of his knuckles showing.
“Okay. Well, my car is at the school.”
“Why’d you leave it there?” Jackson asked.
Our eyes met and I got the distinct feeling he already knew.
“If you must know, I had a date.”
“And what? He ditched you?”
Anderson’s knuckles turned white.
“No. Nothing like that. I was just ready to go.”
He exhaled. Jackson began rambling on about the party this weekend. It was at Peter’s house. Apparently, everyone was going. Everyone. Anderson said little, and I said less. In the past, no one discussed parties or weekend plans with me. Of course, in the past, no one thought I was an easy lay, either. Normally I was on my own or maybe with Justin. The entire topic made me uncomfortable.
Thankfully, the school was close, and Anderson slowed the car before he pulled into the parking lot. It was empty other than a couple teachers’ cars and my mom’s rusty truck. He swung into the space next to mine and I unlatched my seat belt.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.” I turned to smile before I got out of the car, but saw Anderson wasn’t looking at me. His eyes were on the rearview mirror, locked with Jackson’s.
These two. I seriously had no idea what was going on with them. “Yeah, well thanks again, and I’ll see you
later, I guess.” I got out, leaving the door open so Jackson could move to the front. I heard the door behind me close as I dug around in my bag, looking for my keys.
“Heaven?”
I spun; Jackson was standing behind me. “Um, yeah?”
“So, Saturday...can I pick you up?”
I frowned. “Saturday?”
He raised an eyebrow and smiled. “The party? At Peter’s. Can I pick you up?”
My heart almost lurched out of my chest. Jackson was asking me to go with him. I wavered. Was he for real asking? Not to make someone else jealous or because he was gay, (although he and Anderson...) but because he wanted me to? Or did Oliver put him up to it?
See? Things were super confusing.
“Can I call you later? And tell you then?”
His face fell a bit, but he recovered, tapping his fist on the side of my car. “Sure, call me. Tonight.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Great.” He turned and swung the car door open. I saw Anderson inside. Not looking forward, not looking at Jackson. This time, staring straight at me. His jaw clenched tight. Anger rolled off him in waves as the door slammed between us. Moments later, the squeal of his tires confirmed that something was definitely not okay between us.
*
That night while sitting on my bed and doing my homework, there was a direct message from Eric. He was inviting me to the party at Peter’s house. Payment, I suppose, for my services earlier in the week. I deleted it, but the invite was a reminder that I should call Jackson and give him my answer. I wanted to go, but at the same time, things were moving fast. I couldn’t tell what was real and not real any longer.
Still wavering, I got his number from Oliver and called.
“Heaven?”
“Yeah. How did you know it was me?” I asked.
He laughed. “Lucky guess. I didn’t recognize the number.”
“Oh.”
“So, is this about Saturday?” he prompted.
“Yeah.”
“I can pick you up around seven...” He wasn’t giving me much of an out. We had a plan. This was what I wanted. I repeated that mantra over in my head.
“Awesome.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes. Definitely, I’ll get you at seven, okay?”
I agreed and hung up the phone, unable to stop thinking about the last party I’d gone to and the fallout that ensued.
*
Five messages were waiting on me when I stepped out of the shower. All from Oliver.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
OMG WAKE UP.
Fine. Check your Facebook.
With only a towel wrapped around my body, I sat at the desk chair and opened my account. I had been tagged in two new photos from the anonymous account. One was of me getting into Eric’s car. The other was of me and Garrett at the coffee shop. The picture was taken exactly when I kissed him on the cheek.
I texted Oliver back.
Do you know who posted these?
Nope.
A chill ran down my spine and I looked around my room. It was silly. No one was in here but I still had the feeling of being watched.
It was none of us. You okay?
Not exactly. I’m home alone tonight. Mom’s working the night shift.
Lock the doors.
I’ll be okay.
I put down the phone and wrapped my towel closer around my body and willed the fear to go away.
*
I’d finally coaxed myself into a pair of soft cotton pajama pants and a heavy Oceanside sweatshirt when I heard the knock on the front door. I froze in the hallway, back pressed to a wall.
“Heaven!”
Stalkers didn’t usually announce themselves, I considered, and I went to the window to take a peek. Oliver stood on the porch.
The look of relief on his face said everything when I opened the door.
“What are you—” I started but he stepped forward and scooped me into a hug. His arms were huge and he lifted me like a feather. He smelled amazing and I inhaled, feeling safe for the first time since I saw the photos.
“I could tell you were freaked out,” he said, lowering me back to the floor. He brushed a strand of hair out of my face. “We wanted to check on you.”
“We?” I glanced over his shoulder. I was shocked to see Hayden standing behind him. The boy—well, he was eighteen and looked more man than boy—stood on the edge of my porch. His longish, black hair was tucked behind his ears and his brown eyes watched my every move. Hayden was elusive, quiet. Sexy—there was no doubt about that one.
And he was on my porch.
I gave him a small wave and he nodded back before I shifted my gaze back to Oliver. “Thank you for coming. Really, I’m okay.”
“You’re alone, Heaven. With everything going on, there’s no way we’re letting you stay by yourself tonight. Oh and we brought food.” He glanced down at the small table next to the door and I saw the pizza box.
It was obvious they had no intention of leaving, so despite the fact my mom had a pretty strict, “no visitors” rule, I opened the door and let them inside.
The two of them were huge in my small house; all broad shoulders and long legs. We lived in a small bungalow on the older side of town, perfect for me and my mom—walking distance to her job so we could share her little gray truck.
I couldn’t help but gape at their size and the general idea that they’d come to my house, so I just stood awkwardly staring at them until it dawned on me to get plates. “You want something to drink? Soda? Water?”
“Water is fine,” Oliver replied, looking over the house. He stopped at a photo of me around the age of three standing on the edge of the ocean in a mermaid bikini with same-aged Justin, his skin dark with a tan. “Is that your friend? The one that got you into all of this?”
I could hear the judgement in his voice. I filled two glasses with ice and water. “Justin didn’t make me do anything. I volunteered.”
Hayden peered at the photo and said, “I know him. We played football together when we were kids.”
“I thought you played soccer?”
“I play both.”
“Well, despite everything going on now, he’s a good friend.” My only friend, I wanted to tell them, but seeing them in my house like this made that seem less true. “Come on, we can eat in here.”
The box was barely open before they both dove in, grabbing two pieces each. I watched in fascination as they inhaled their food, only stopping once to push the box in my direction. I took a piece before they got it all and bit into the gooey cheese, groaning when I realized I was starving. Both guys stopped eating and stared at me.
“What?” I asked, tugging at a piece of cheese and dropping it in my mouth.
They glanced uneasily at one another. “Nothing,” Oliver said. “You’re just funny.”
“And hot,” Hayden admitted. Oliver shot him a look but he just shrugged. “She is. You are. Hot. And groaning like that over a piece of pizza? Only made you hotter.”
“Seriously?” I kept thinking I was being pranked. Was someone recording this right now? Anderson? But there was a glint in Hayden’s eyes—something I could only describe as hunger, and I knew his belly was full.
Oliver sighed. “Heaven, you know we’re not the kind of guys that really date around. The girls are school are a little…”
“Clingy,” Hayden added, shoving more pizza in his mouth. “So freaking clingy.”
“We’re a tight group. Me, Hayden, Jackson, and Anderson. And our friendship has always come before any other kind of relationship. We support one another. We have fun together. It’s just who we are.”
My stomach twisted in apprehension, but I had to ask. “Where does that leave me? Why are you really here?”
“Because you need us and frankly, we need you.” He moved to the couch and sat next to me, taking my hand in his. His hand was warm and his skin tingled against mine. �
�You don’t know our history, do you?”
I shook my head. “I moved here in the sixth grade. Everyone already called you The Allendale Four.”
Oliver looked at Hayden, who nodded his head, giving him the go-ahead. “Hayden, Jackson, and I were like everyone else in elementary school. Had a lot of friends. Played with the other kids. Everything was fine until Anderson’s family moved here in the second grade.”
“His family didn’t live here all along?” New kids were rare in Allendale. It was one of the reasons my arrival had been so rocky. Cliques and friend groups were set in pre-school.
“Nope. He showed up with that silly hair, sticking up in a million directions, and even then he was a handsome kid. But he was also shy and that translated into him seeming stuck up. He was scrawny and a few of the kids at school decided he was fair game.”
“They bullied him?” The thought made my heart hurt. Poor Anderson.
“Mercilessly. He was too smart, too wealthy. His parents are both doctors and lived in the biggest house in the district. And Mark Amerson and Spencer Harrison decided to make his life miserable.”
“Ugh, Mark. I hate that guy.” Spencer was just skeevy. “He tries to pretend like he’s nice but he’s awful.”
Hayden busted out laughing. “Right? What a dick.”
“Total dick,” I agreed. “So what happened to Anderson? Seems like he survived.”
“We didn’t like the dynamics on the playground and decided to stick up for Anderson. It wasn’t hard. After we scared the pants off of Mark and Spencer, we made a pact to always take care of one another and that’s how we became the Allendale Four.” He and Hayden reached out and performed a complicated handshake. It was totally bro-ish and adorable.
“That was really nice of you.”
Oliver’s fingers tighten in mine. “When we saw the whole school turn on you over the thing with Justin, we agreed to help you the way we helped Anderson.”
“That’s really sweet of you.” I wrinkled my nose. “But what about the fact Anderson isn’t into it—or anything to do with me?”
Hayden shook his head. “Anderson is an idiot. We love him, but he’s an idiot. He’s down with supporting you, Heaven. It’s just going to take him a little while to warm up. After being picked on, he doesn’t trust people easily.”