by Angel Lawson
There was a subtle shift after the hospital though. Jackson and Hayden arrived at my house, arranged by my mother, to pick me up for school. In the hallway Jax remained close, if not closer, asking me too many times about my head and if it hurt.
“I’m fine.”
“Just checking, babe.” He touched my head gently and kissed me on the temple. Okay, I didn’t mind a little extra TLC.
After stopping at my locker and ignoring the glares of Mallory and the other girls (get over it already?) I braced myself to see Anderson waiting, like always, in the hallway.
He wasn’t there.
“Where is he?” I asked as we neared their usual spot.
“Not sure, he was in Spanish.”
“Hm.”
“Your project is due today, right?” he said. He looked a little concerned. Anderson had become unpredictably predictable. Jackson stopped walking and narrowed his eyes. “I’m going to kill him if he bailed.”
“He’s still okay with everything, right?” The swelling on Jackson’s eye had gone down a little but the bruise was still dark purple.
“Yeah.” His eyes darted down the hallway. “I better run. You let me know if he doesn’t show.”
“I will.”
He kissed me on the lips, much to Mr. Baxter’s disapproving frown in the doorway, and disappeared down the hall.
“Yeah, well, I’m sure he’s just late or something,” I muttered under my breath, as I walked into the room. He wasn’t late, though. He was already at our lab table. I eyed him from the doorway. White t-shirt, navy blue hoodie and hair that looked like it just came out from under a cap of some kind. The corner of his mouth was still red from the fight with Jackson.
I took a deep breath and walked to my seat. I sat down and opened my bag, rummaging for my papers.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
I’d never been so nervous.
I handed my papers to him and we waited as Mr. Baker walked up and down the aisle, collecting the projects from each table. Once he retrieved ours and moved down the row, Anderson turned to face me. “How are you feeling?”
“Better. Just a slight headache.”
He grimaced. “You sure you’re ready to be back at school.”
“I’m ready to not be trapped at home anymore.”
“Gotcha, well if you feel sick or woozy or anything, let me know.”
“Thanks, Anderson.” He flashed me a lopsided grin.
Wow. Okay, had things really changed? Anderson Thompson hands down was the most confusing boy I knew. Nothing he did made sense. Of course, not much I did made much sense either, so who was I to judge?
Mr. Baxter droned on and on and my eyes were glued to the minute hand on the clock above the door. Anderson sat still as a statue the entire class. Hands clenched on the table. He didn’t seem angry. Stressed? Tense? Maybe he just felt bad about what happened? I couldn’t deny part of me worried he wanted out of this relationship before it started. And if he left…
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Oliver and the others made it clear they weren’t leaving me. I was ruminating all of this when the bell rang. When I stood, I swayed, feeling lightheaded.
“Hey,” he said, easing me back in my seat. “You okay?”
“Just dizzy.”
“Heaven, concussions are no joke. Hayden had one last year. Took him weeks to get cleared to play again.”
I placed my hands on the table and stood. “No, I’m fine. Just a headrush.”
In the hall he said, “Do you want to go to the nurse?”
“Nope.”
A line of worry creased his forehead. “Can we at least go get some fresh air? I’m not comfortable leaving you.”
His tone. His body language. His everything told me he was serious about that and I didn’t want to leave him either. “Yeah, okay.” I agreed, following him down the hall.
Anderson led the way, and the cold, fresh air slapped my cheeks. When he turned I knew he didn’t get me out here because I felt sick. That was an excuse. One I could admit too, that I just wanted to be around him longer. That same look of worry he’d carried all morning still marred his pretty face and when he opened his mouth to speak, before he could say anything I blurted, “Look, I know this is weird…just if you’re going to get out of this just tell me straight up. I can handle it.”
I totally could not handle it.
Anderson stared at me for a moment, finally he said, “I shouldn’t have kissed you in the library like that.”
“What?” The memory of him kissing me was intense. Burned into my brain forever. His soft lips. His demanding tongue. The way his hand felt on my hip.
“You deserve better than that, Heaven. Not some clumsy grope between the stacks.”
Damn he was adorable.
“Anderson, don’t apologize for that. I wanted you to do it.”
“You did?”
“Anderson, I’d been throwing myself at you all week. Like, literally throwing myself at you. Did you see what I was wearing?”
He nodded slowly at the memory. It was a memorable outfit.
“I wore that for you. To get your attention.”
He swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing and he licked the split in this lip. “You definitely had my attention. Long before that.”
I stepped closer, partially because of the cold but mostly because I wanted to be near him. He watched me carefully.
“We went over all of this at the library. You like me. I like you and yeah, I also like your friends. We fit. We can do this, but only if you want to.”
His voice is husky. “I want to.”
“Then take it from someone who excels in overthinking: stop overthinking.”
He grabbed my fingertips with his own. His skin was cold and rough, but flares of heat ran through my body anyway. I wasn’t prepared for what he said next. “I just want to kiss you again.”
Oh, man. My heart dropped to my feet. I wanted to kiss him, too. On his pretty, pink, chapped lips. I forced myself to speak. “Are you going to run away this time?”
He shook his head, slowly. Then he took another step forward so that I could feel his body next to mine. My hand was still wrapped in his, hanging between our bodies.
I tilted my head. “Promise?”
He answered with his lips, a kiss so deep, so intense I felt it in my very core. He grunted when I bit down on his wound, but he didn’t pull away. No, he yanked me closer and damn, it took forever to get Anderson to kiss me, but it was worth it.
Definitely worth it.
*
That night we agreed to meet as a group to make some decisions about how we wanted to proceed publicly with our relationship. Not just because of what people would think but because I had a stalker that just wouldn’t let it go and he was circling like a shark.
“I’m okay with whatever you want to do,” I told the boys. We’d gone straight from school over to Oliver’s house. It was the first time I’d been there but from the sound of things it was the typical hang-out for the guys. I was pretty excited to see it, but when Anderson finally pulled into the curved driveway I couldn’t stop staring.
The house was ridiculous. Massive and historic. The creeping sense of not belonging tickled my neck. I knew the Allendale Four lived in the nicer part of town. That Anderson’s parents were doctors. Oliver’s a professor at the small university nearby. Jackson and Hayden’s parents had jobs at the college as well and that was generally the line around here between the haves and have nots.
I stared at the house with massive white columns and a wide front porch. We definitely lived on different sides of the line and had I known, like really known, I would have been so horrified to have them in my tiny place.
“Oliver really lives here?” I asked Anderson once he’d opened the door and helped me out of the car.
“Technically,” he said, “he lives out back. Above the garage in an apartment.”
He took my hand and I followed him around the side of the house to a not-so-small building that looked like a smaller version of the house out front. He led me up the steps where Jackson stood, smiling down at me. Oliver waited in the doorway.
“Seriously,” I asked. “You parents let you stay out here alone?”
“Let?” Jackson said with a snort. “When his dad got remarried it was heavily suggested Oliver move out here.”
“How heavily?” I asked.
“I came home from school and all my stuff was on the steps.”
“Your dad tossed you out?” I was horrified. Things had been hard for me and my mom since Dad left, but I couldn’t imagine her abandoning me for another guy.
Oliver shrugged and pushed his hair out of his eyes. “My step-mom is a bitch. I like it up here.” He stepped aside, welcoming me inside. “Since my dad felt guilty about it he loaded it up with all the perks. Cable, wifi, stocked fridge…”
“He even has a cleaning lady,” Anderson said.
Hayden stood just inside, offering me a stomach-clenching wink. How does he do that? I step inside. “Wow.”
It was the most impressive apartment I’d ever seen. The main room was filled with giant couches and two leather recliners. A huge flat screen was mounted to the wall. A gaming system sat on the floor. At the back of the room I could see the small kitchen and two doors against the wall.
“Bathroom. Bedroom.” Oliver said, pointing to the doors. Jackson and Hayden made a beeline straight for the kitchen, pulling drinks out of the refrigerator and snacks from the cabinets.
I stood near one of the recliners, unsure what to do. They were all so comfortable here. I couldn’t even remember the last time I went to a friend’s house other than Justin. He’d freak if he saw how amazing this place was.
“Come on,” Anderson said, maybe sensing my self-consciousness. He touched my lower back and directed me to one of the comfy-looking couches. “Hey, let me get you a drink. Coke?”
“Yeah, thanks.” Again, I was alone even though the guys were bustling around the kitchen, talking smack about the day and just doing whatever it is they do. Again, I felt awkward on the couch but a moment later I’m surrounded, Hayden on one side and Anderson on the other. They sat close; their hips pressed against mine.
Bags of chips were opened. A Coke was pressed into my hand. Jackson reached for the game controller but Oliver shot him a look. “Business first.”
He groaned and dropped the controller on the ground. “Fine.”
“Dude!” Oliver said, staring at the ground. “You break it, you buy it.”
Jackson rolled his eyes. Cranky much? “Okay let’s do this.”
I’d never had a relationship meeting before. Okay well, Justin and I had a meeting of sorts about our fake-hookup and I guess Eric tried as well. Was that how all relationships are? Business arrangements?
My feet bounced with nerves and I couldn’t help but feel the heat coming off Hayden’s leg. He was always so laid back and when he ran his hand down my thigh, helping me settle, I leaned into his chest and exhaled.
Oliver cleared his throat. “Although Heaven has made it clear that she doesn’t care how we act with one another in public, with the stalker pics on Fakestagram and some of the other harassment at school, I think it may be best to downplay things some.”
“When we’re at school,” Anderson clarified. Unlike Hayden, his hands were in his lap.
“Right.”
“Why?” I asked. “It’s not going to make a difference. Whoever is doing this is intent on making me look bad. I don’t care anymore.”
The guys all shared a look—one I couldn’t quite place until Oliver spoke again. “After your trip the hospital we made a decision. You’re our biggest priority. We can take a back seat publicly until you’re better and until we flush this bastard out. No one wants to give you added stress.” His eyes held mine. “None of us want to go through that again.”
“I’m fine.”
Hayden’s hand clenched mine. “You are fine, babe, we just want to keep you that way.”
It was one thing to have someone sacrifice for you. It was another to have four. My heart pounded, but not with anxiety. No, this felt different. Alive. Hopeful.
“Then how do you want to do this?” I asked.
Anderson shifted next to me. “You’ve been seen most with Jackson. At school, the party, and the library. It makes the most sense for you to date him.”
Jackson gave me a quick wink and a sly grin.
“How about I just not have any boyfriend publicly.” Again, they looked at one another, this time bursting out in laughter. Hayden kissed my temple. “What? Why is that so funny?”
“There is no fucking way we’re letting you walk around town without at least one of us having a claim on you,” Jackson replied. My stomach turned into a wave of butterflies. “If you’re with me, it makes more sense for the others to hang around with you too.”
“People need to know you’re not available,” Anderson. “And less vulnerable.”
I nodded in understanding. They were right. I didn’t need to fight off the perverts anymore. “And the rest of the time?”
“We do we,” Hayden says, nose grazing my ear. It was a play off the popular saying “You do you.” It fit us perfectly.
“Okay,” I said. “As long as everyone is okay with it.” That statement is directed at Anderson. He’s the one prone to jealousy.
He nodded his agreement and even added, “I think it’s a good idea, Heaven. For you, the rest of us will cope.”
Jackson leaned down picked up the controller, this time getting a pass from Oliver, who’d moved to turn on the television. Anderson reached for his drink on the table and a bag of chips, leaning into the end of the couch. His leg was still pressed against mine.
The video game had half of Hayden’s attention while I had the rest, his hand running absently up and down my leg. I waited for something else—something to change, but it didn’t. Anderson offered me the bag of chips. I drank from my Coke. When Jackson kicked Oliver’s ass in whatever space exploration game they were playing, he hopped up, ran over and kissed me in victory with salty lips.
And like that we eased into a group. A unique but tight group. They were no longer the Allendale Four.
We were now the Allendale Five.
*
Turns out, all three of my new secret boyfriends really liked me being their dirty little secret. There was something about fooling the whole school into thinking one thing about me and Jackson when three entirely different relationships were going on right under their noses. The hardest was Anderson, who I spent an excruciating hour with every day, but couldn’t touch. The tension just built and built. Holycrap, it built.
The simple concept of his proximity made me simmer and burn, but I soon realized it was a straight boil for Anderson. That boy was hot for me and I liked it.
Which is why, right now, I wasn’t fighting off the advances of Anderson’s mouth and hands. Spending lunch with him, but not with him, was hard. Sitting through Chemistry where I could feel the heat roll off his body was harder. Randomly running into him at the coffee shop after school? Impossible to resist. So here we were, in the back hallway, going at it.
“Jackson’s waiting,” I breathed between kisses. The front of the shop was packed with students. Any one of them could walk back here without notice. It was unbelievably hot.
He licked my bottom lip. “He can wait.”
I smirked at his inconsiderate behavior. “I suppose he can.”
Anderson wove his fingers into my hair and kissed me again, this time pushing his tongue into my mouth. My back pressed against the wall. Good Lord. I always knew kissing Anderson Thompson would do me in, but I had no idea. Too many of my thoughts and actions became about him, being with him, and finding ways for his mouth to be attached to mine.
I’d learned a few things about my boys since we started hanging out more. Hayden was sweeter than anyon
e would ever know, his true personality hidden behind the size and strength of an impressive athlete. A beast on the field, commanding and sure, he changed when we were alone into something else.
Two nights ago, he showed up with a fresh slice of pie, this time feeding it to me. It quickly devolved from a snack into sticky kisses but they were the most sugary, delicious kisses I’d ever had.
Oliver was dependable. Genuine. He watched out for me and slid into the role of my bestie to make my mother comfortable. He made everyone comfortable and I’d learned to wear him like a soft blanket. A handsy-horny soft blanket. but he was so good for my anxiety. He got it, and me, like no one else had other than Justin.
Jackson? What you saw is what you got. Hot. Cocky. Incredibly skilled with his mouth and hands. Just seeing him made my skin itch. We were the “real” couple out and about and I got so used to him being there—being around—that it was easy to fall into the boyfriend-girlfriend thing with him. The two of us had it easier. We let a little of our tension out during the day. Played it up a little for the crowd and my stalker. It was delicious payback seeing Mallory and Jennifer’s faces turn green with envy when they caught us kissing in the small alcove outside the gym. And then, well, Jackson himself was icing on the cake. Getting a taste of him whenever I wanted? Perfection.
And then there was the guy whose mouth I was assaulting in the coffee shop hallway. Anderson. God. I’d waited years for this one and my patience was rewarded. His hips pressed into mine, his crotch hard. He was always hard when we were around one another. He barely hid it and the groans when we made out were a sign his patience was running thin.
That only made him hotter.
There was movement down the hall and Anderson gently pushed me away. Flushed, I heard the men’s room door swing open behind me as he made himself scarce. I nodded at the woman dragging her toddler to the ladies’ room, judgment for our PDA clear on her face, and made my way back to the table where Jackson thumbed his phone.