by Amy McClung
She was throwing some of my worst nightmares in my face. One thing I try to refrain from thinking about is how I will deal with watching everyone I love die. My voice lowered to a concerned tone, “Damn it Jackie, how do you know that any of us will even be together in a couple of years? You may meet someone new, we could drift apart. We don’t know that we will be with Quinn and Mitchell. Right now I would love to say we can spend forever with them, I can’t imagine losing you or Quinn, or Mitchell either. The harsh truth is life is full of unexpected twists and changes.” She raised her eyes over my shoulder and I turn to see what has caught her attention.
My timing is always so wonderful. As I finished my sentence I turn and see Mitchell and Quinn standing in the doorway. They both had miserable looks on their faces at the thought we would all just drift apart. “I’m sorry guys I just don’t want to change Jackie. It’s not that I don’t have faith in what we have as couples or as friends. I love you both,” I turn and grab Jackie’s hand, “All three of you, I just want to be realistic. Things change, even if we don’t want them to,” I finished. Mitchell spoke next, “I think Jackie has a point, you could teach her the rules just like Quinn taught me. Then we have plenty of time together.” Unbelievable. They are going to gang up on me on this. “Do you realize that vampires live thousands of years and wolves only live hundreds at most? You will both watch us die, regardless. We can’t all live together forever! It doesn’t work that way! You are asking me to take away her chance to have a real life, to have babies,” my voice cracked on the word babies, and I could see it hit home for Quinn who was probably as surprised as I was that I had even thought about children. “Not to mention, you are asking me to cause her immense pain. I know how it feels to shift, to feel my bones break and reform, to feel my face contort; my teeth extend breaking through my gums. The pain is excruciating, it gets easier with time but it is still tremendous pain.” I watched their faces as I was explaining the feelings, Jackie’s reaction was shock and horror, and Quinn’s was of grief and sadness. “Is that what you want Jackie? Is that want you want for her Mitch?! Because I don’t, I don’t wish this life for anyone. Not to mention, I am still figuring this out for myself, I am not in a position to mentor anyone. I don’t even know if I will be able to control myself around you guys! I could kill all of you!” I yelled. I couldn’t take anymore of this right now. Quinn grabbed my arm and I jerked free from him. “I have to get out of here, I need to be alone right now, away from all of you” I said as I grabbed my purse and jacket and walked out the door. No one came after me, and I was glad.
Driving probably wasn’t the best idea, but I took the car anyway. Normally, I do very little driving in town because everything is so close that it seems pointless to use the gas. This time I wanted to get as far away as I could. My texting tone went off about an hour after I left. When are you coming back? Worried about you, Love you—Quinn. I didn’t reply. I was far enough out of town that I pulled over at a rest stop and just sat in the car to think. Over an hour had passed and I got several more texts begging me to reply, then a couple of apology texts from Jackie. It’s cruel to let my loved ones think something happened to me so I texted them both back and said I’m ok, just need a little time to myself, I will be home in a couple of hours. Love you guys.—Parker.
The music was blaring because it helped me focus my thinking. No answers had come to me about how to convince Jackie that I would never change her. Everything about this situation was confusing to me. If being a wolf meant that you had super powers and that you lived forever, and that is it, I would change her without a second thought. The pain of shifting, the feeling like your body was ripping apart, the fear that this time it would be too much pain to handle; well I don’t wish that on my worst enemy. The one thing I wish is that I could show Jackie how bad it is so she would forget even wishing she could be like me. Maybe there was a way, maybe she could become a vampire and then the four of us could spend almost forever together. That would be easier on me because they would live past me and it would be three less people that I love dying in front of me. Ugh, again I sound so selfish.
The other thing that I never realized bothered me before is the fact that I will never have children. For all I know, werewolves can have children, but I am pretty sure that Vampires can’t and if my future doesn’t include Quinn, well then I don’t really want children either. Of course that means that as long as Jackie stays with Mitchell, she will never have a child either whether she stays human or not.
My hand unconsciously went to my stomach and I closed my eyes and visualized it expanding into a bump, Quinn sitting there with his cheek resting against my belly and planting kisses and telling him or her how much he loved them and how much he loved their mommy. My mind flew forward seeing that little girl with red hair and vibrant green eyes running towards Quinn with her arms open and he swooped her up into his arms and hugs her tightly.
The sound of a horn honking behind me pulled me from my daydream. It was a trucker leaving the rest area and I looked up to see where his attention was aimed when I saw a woman walking out of the restroom, she was very elegant looking and she seemed as though she was upset, she was wiping her face with a tissue and then she sat down on a bench and placed her head in her hands. Sympathy pulled at me causing me to get out of the car and go check on her.
“Excuse me, are you ok?” I asked her as I approached. She looked up startled and a sad smile came upon her face. “I’ve been better, “she replied and then continued, “I just lost my best friend.” I gasped, “I am so sorry, what happened?” She waved her hands signifying I was jumping to the wrong conclusion, “He isn’t dead or anything, it’s just that I was starting to have feelings for him and he acted like he felt the same but then I found him with another woman.” She put her hands over her face and started crying again, “I just feel like I am losing everything, How can he love her and not me? We have been friends since…well as long as I can remember. I just don’t see how we could still be friends, how can I watch him in love with her?” She looked up at me and I wasn’t really sure what to say but could tell she was seeking my advice. “Well, if you truly love him and things are meant to be, then they will work out. But if I was you, I would fight for him, he was yours first…right?” I asked, she smiled in response and said, “Yes, he definitely was, we were together for years before that tramp came along,” her sentence finished with anger and the elegance she had demonstrated before was momentarily gone. I was a bit taken aback by it and she noticed my retreat from her. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to get so angry, it just hurts,” she said apologetically. I felt bad for her but I was starting to feel a lot of anger radiating from her and it was becoming awkward to sit here. “I understand, I am in love for the first time in my life and I know I would fight for him if anyone ever tried to come between us. I hope things work out for you,” I glanced at my phone to check the time, “but it’s getting late and I need to go. Good luck to you.” I smiled at her and touched her hand and then jerked back when I felt how cold it was. “You should get inside somewhere, you are freezing,” I told her. She shivered and agreed and then I turned and walked to the car.
When I reached the car I turned to look back and she was gone, at least she took my advice and found shelter. I noticed the door to the restroom was blowing in the wind so she must have run in there. My skin shivered, I rubbed my hands to warm them up and then turned on the car and cranked up the heat. It was getting dark and I had let my friends worry for long enough. As I was driving I spotted something in the woods, it was barely a shadow it moved so fast. This was right around the spot I found Will, if that is the rogue vampire than it is lucky I found him or he could have been his or her first victim. Pulling over I got out and grabbed my flashlight out of the trunk and started walking toward the woods shining the light into the trees to see if I could see a face or anything to give us an idea of whether it was a man or woman. Standing at the side of the road I couldn’t see much, so I started to
inch closer. I stopped and thought about all the horror movies I watched and how I would scream at the stupid teenage girl heading to check out the strange sound all on her own, and now I am that stupid teenage girl. I turned off my flashlight and ran back to the car and took off toward the house. I looked in my rearview and thought I saw another flash, a chill ran down my spine.
Quinn, Jackie and Mitchell were playing cards when I got home, I could see them in the window as I was unlocking the door. Quinn wrapped his arms around me before I could even shut the door behind me. He smelled like heaven. I held him as tight as I could, I didn’t want to let go of the way this felt. Nothing seemed to be wrong with the world when I was in his arms. “I was worried about you, I don’t like when you are upset,” Quinn said as he pulled back from the hug and ran his thumb along my face caressing it. I was lucky to have him and it made me feel bad again for that poor woman I met, she was so heartbroken, I hope she gets her man. He then led me into the living room and I apologized for running out on them, Jackie said, “It’s my fault Parker. I didn’t consider the facts and I didn’t consider how it would make you feel. I am so sorry.” We hugged and all was ok, at least for the moment.
Chapter Eleven
Evening two of defying my parents, I let the boys stay over again. The doorbell rang waking me up, I left Quinn in the bed and ran down to see who it was and found Will standing there. “Hey, I hope its ok that I came by, I wanted to talk to you guys about what happened to Christine.” I motioned for him to come in and we went to the kitchen so I could start cooking breakfast. “Are you going to go after the vampire that killed her, because I want to be in on it,” he said. “Why? You didn’t know her, and if you did it couldn’t have been that well.” I replied. He looked a bit uneasy but I figured he was just scared like I was of going after this thing. “I know a werewolf needs to kill her and I am willing to put myself out there,” he continued. Wait, her? How did he know it was a female? “Have you seen who killed Christine, do you know who it is?” I asked. He looked a little confused and shook his head. “Then why did you say her?“ I replied. “I don’t know, no reason really, I just picked a pronoun,” said Will. That was not the most believable answer but he was pretty nonchalant about it so it was probably true. Actually we have all gone back and forth on the pronouns when talking about this thing. It would be a lot easier if we had a better idea of what we were going after.
The smell of food must have woken everyone up because they were all in the kitchen by the time it was ready. They were surprised to see Will but were all very friendly to him and greeted him as one of the gang. Even Quinn was friendly which was surprising, of course he did have to come over and kiss me right in front of Will, even adding a dip for pizzazz, but I was not complaining about that. This was going to be a good morning with my friends. Well, I was hoping for that at least, I should have known better.
Remembering my drive the previous day, I started to relay it to the others. The part about the shadow running through the woods and the dumb part about me trying to see what it was, Quinn was not happy about that part. “Could you take me back to where you saw it? It just might be the area they are staying in.” Quinn said. “Well, I doubt that. When you were living in the woods did you see anyone?” I asked as I turned my gaze to Will. He was caught off guard, “No, why?” I replied, “Well I saw the shadow right there where I found you. That’s why I don’t think the person is living in the area because you would have most likely seen or heard them sometime.” Quinn shot a suspicious look at Will, “You sure it was a black bear who attacked you that day buddy? In fact, it seems a bit strange that you would be so comfortable with vampires so quickly. It’s also kind of weird that Christine died shortly after you showed up.” Will got angry and shoved his chair back and got in Quinn’s face. “If you remember, I did freak out when I found out what you are AND I got to town not long after you did. This was a vampire kill, I’m a werewolf, if anyone looks suspicious, it is you! And DON’T call me buddy” As he said the last part he put his hands out and shoved Quinn off balance. Quickly, I stepped up and got between them putting a hand on each of their chests. Quinn was angry, it was written all over his face and if his heart still beat it would be beating through his chest right now, the way Will’s was. “Will is right, he did freak out when he found out what you are, remember I had to convince him you were ok. No one in this room is a suspect in this as far as I am concerned.” I said that to defend both of them but it ended up more like I was on Will’s side, I could tell that didn’t sit well with Quinn. He just smirked and stormed out of the room.
Excusing myself, I went after Quinn. He was in the living room fuming. He turned to me abruptly, “Do you trust me at all?!” I was bowled over by his tone and said, “Of course I do. Why would you ask that?” He scoffed, “Oh I don’t know, maybe because every time something goes wrong you seem to think the worst of me. Like when I told you about Mitchell, you just took off running like I would put your best friend in danger. And just now, you took Will’s side over mine!” In anger I said, “You forgot about the time you told me that you were using me and had no feelings for me, I thought the worst of you then too.” He was hurt by that and I immediately regretted it and tried to recant. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that Quinn.” His mood calmed, “Yes you did,” he replied, “I’m going to go. I shouldn’t be here anyway and right now I just don’t want to be. I will call you sometime. I need to think.” I reached for him and he disappeared out the door before I could touch him and my heart sunk.
Will came in the living room and sat on the couch beside me, he extended his arm to show me he was there to comfort me. I leaned against him and he began to apologize for causing trouble with me and Quinn. He went on to tell me that I was the only real friend he had and that he really appreciated me taking up for him with Quinn. Disputing that would just hurt him so I let it go. I liked Will, our friendship was important to me because of the fact that we both shared the same curse. He was being such a good friend to me…for a few minutes, than he had to ruin it.
“Why are you with Quinn, I mean he is our enemy, how can you fall in love with a vampire?” Will asked. I sat up and turned toward him, “It doesn’t matter to me what he is, it is who he is. He has a kind heart. He is not evil like most vampires, he would never kill someone like that rogue vampire has done. I haven’t seen any evil come from him at all.” Will gave me a look of uncertainty, “He’s never drank human blood?” I ignored that question, remembering back to the conversation where Quinn had told me that he killed people for a while and how guilty he felt about it. But that was fifty years ago and he has changed since then. I truly believe there is no evil inside him anymore. When I didn’t answer he continued, “Because he turned Mitchell and could have killed him, that doesn’t bother you? I mean aren’t you afraid he could turn on Jackie, and what if he can’t control himself at that point.” I shook my head, “Of course not, he didn’t kill Mitchell and he made sure that he taught him how to control himself and his hunger. If you ask Mitchell, I don’t think he would say he hates Quinn for changing him either, they are like brothers now they have become so close. I know Jackie is in no danger from Quinn, I am sure of that. You have no idea how much strength and willpower it takes for him to control killing someone when he feeds. We aren’t that different from them. I still don’t know how to completely control myself when I shift and it scares me to death.” Will looked in my eyes as he spoke, “You and I are the same though, we could help each other cope and learn how to control ourselves when we shift. We should be spending time together and learning how to do that instead of you being all love struck.” That was just rude and it flew all over me.
“Screw you, I have been the only girl in this town without a boyfriend for years now and I am happy to finally have one. I finally feel like a normal person for the first time in two years. Ever since I was bitten, I have had to keep secrets from everyone I care about and have had to deal with this alone. I am glad that I have fri
ends that can help me carry this burden now. I count you as one of those friends, a very good friend. That is the most important thing you can be to me Will, please don’t ruin that by talking about us trying to have more. I don’t want to hurt you, but there will never be anything more than friendship between us.”
Will apologized and awkwardly got up and went to get us some drinks from the kitchen and I took the opportunity to text Quinn. I had to check on him. I understand why you needed time. Just want you to know that I miss you and I love you—Parker. I got a reply instantly which made my heart soar. I love you too, be back soon—Quinn.
Will came back with drinks and with Jackie and Mitchell following him. They were all cutting up and telling stories and I took the opportunity to excuse myself to make my daily call to my parents and confessed that the guys had spent the night. They weren’t too happy but they said it made them feel better that I wasn’t alone because the Martin’s, Jackie’s parents also known as their best friends, had told them about Christine’s murder. I was in the kitchen talking to them while everyone else was setting up a game of poker in the living room. While on the phone I was looking out the back window and I felt a chill. Someone was looking at me from the edge of the woods. I could make out a shape and I could feel the eyes boring into me. Calmly I told my parents I wanted to get back to my company and told them to have a safe trip and enjoy themselves and that I loved them. As soon as I hung up the phone I called Quinn. He answered, “Hey sweetheart, don’t worry I am…” and I interrupted him and said, “Are you in the woods behind my house right now, looking at me standing in the kitchen?” With panic in his voice he said, “Make sure the doors are locked and get with everyone else, I will be there in two minutes.” He hung up and was literally there in two minutes, might have been a minute and a half even.