by Ivy Smoak
"No, I do."
What the hell had Josh actually said to her? She seemed so calm and understanding today. I was the one that owed her an apology, not the other way around.
"I overreacted. You guys were just talking. And honestly, you're right. We are just friends."
Just friends. I shook my head. "Friends don't usually sleep together."
"Yeah, well, friends with benefits. Whatever you want to call it." She waved her arm dismissively. "And I'm sorry I flirted with Josh. I wanted to make you jealous and I don't know...I regret it is what I'm trying to say. I'm sorry."
"It's not a big deal. I get it. I shouldn't have talked about you like that. Especially when it's not even true."
She laughed. "You don't think I'm good in bed?"
"Oh no, I meant that." I smiled.
She laughed again.
"It was more than just physical for me, is what I meant."
Chapter 25
Hailey
Tuesday
Me too. Everything about Tyler was off the charts. Yes, I had finally given into his charm because he looked even better when he was completely soaked for some reason. But it was more than physical attraction for me too. I liked his personality. It's what drew me to him in the first place. So what the hell did that mean?
"We never got to our 21 questions, you know," I said.
"No? I didn't realize."
"Can I ask you one?"
He smiled at me out of the corner of his mouth. Just one look and my stomach seemed to flip over.
"Would you be open to maybe repeating what happened the other day?"
"Letting you drive and getting in an accident? I'm not sure I'm up for that," he said with a laugh.
"No, smart ass." I lightly hit his arm. I wanted to wrap my fingers around his biceps again. "The other thing."
"Crashing at a friend's house?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Or do you mean stepping over the line of just being friends?"
"Yeah." My voice sounded so small. "That one."
"I'm going to be honest, Hails, I'm not really in a place for a relationship right now."
I looked at his hands on the steering wheel. He was gripping it so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. Why was that? Because he was upset about what he just said? Because he wanted more? I still did. I didn't want us to be a onetime thing. We could at least be a three day thing. I bit the inside of my cheeks. Or maybe we could be more. I could convince him that he wanted more, couldn't I?
"Neither am I," I said. "But we're both adults. We both know what it would be. It doesn't have to be more than what it is."
"Maybe."
"Maybe it doesn't have to be more than what it is? Or maybe you're open to trying it again?"
He glanced at me and smiled. "I might be open to trying it again."
I laughed. "How eloquent."
"Your words, not mine."
"Let's just see where today goes. I just want things to be normal between us again." I stared at him, waiting for his reaction.
"Sounds good to me."
We passed a sign signaling that we had just entered New Mexico.
"Let's pretend Texas never happened," I said.
"Tell my wallet that."
I laughed. "You said you didn't mind. If you want I can pitch in. I'm really, really sorry about your car."
"I'm just messing with you. Really I'm just glad we're both okay." He gave me a small smile.
I bit my lip as I thought about what Josh had said. Some accident that he was in. He physically seemed okay. Like, really, really okay. Perfection in human form. But emotionally, it almost seemed like he was as messed up as I was. I knew he had lost something. I just wasn't sure what.
***
I stared out the window until it was completely dark. And then even a little longer before I turned my attention to Tyler. All day I had convinced myself that I shouldn't ask him any more questions. We were at peace. I didn't want to ruin that. But there were still so many things I was dying to know.
"I think I still have some more questions left in the game," I said.
"Probably a few, yeah."
"Okay." I shifted in my seat so I could look at him. "Josh mentioned that you were in an accident a while back. What happened?"
I watched his knuckles turn white again as he gripped the steering wheel tighter. I looked up at his face. He had lowered both his eyebrows and was staring straight ahead. Josh was right. I was right. Whatever had happened had really messed him up.
"Is it okay if I pass on that one?" His voice sounded strained.
I had definitely hit a nerve. "Yeah, of course." I continued to stare at him. His demeanor didn't change at all. "What's your biggest fear?" I asked instead.
"Dying." He didn't even hesitate. He said it like it was a matter of fact.
Someone so young would only be scared of death for one reason. He must have lost someone close to him in that accident. I knew better than anyone that life could take a sudden turn for the worst. Tyler knew that. His heart ached. Mine did too. I swallowed hard.
Tyler cleared his throat. "If you were given a choice of living in your hometown forever or anywhere else in the world forever, which would you choose?" He scratched the back of his neck when he asked. It almost seemed like he was nervous to hear my answer.
I wanted to lie. I so badly wanted to tell him I'd go wherever he was. But that wasn't true. It would also be crazy. "My hometown."
He nodded.
"Have you ever deliberately broken anyone's heart?" I asked.
"I don't think anyone's liked me enough to get their heart broken," he said.
"I'm sure that isn't true."
"I don't ever want to hurt someone. I'd never do it intentionally."
I folded my arms across my chest. Just unintentionally. Like Josh's ex girlfriend? Probably like any girl he had dated since meeting Penny?
"What's the strangest place you've ever had sex?" Tyler asked.
I laughed. "Hmm..." I bit my lip as if I actually needed to mull the answer over. "There was this one time where I had sex with a guy I had just met in his car on the side of Route 66."
Tyler smiled. "And how was that?"
Amazing. "It's not your turn for a question."
"Fair enough."
I liked that our conversation seemed easy again. I wanted to keep it that way. I didn't like seeing him upset. Despite how crazy it seemed, I cared about him. It hurt me to see him hurting. "If you were exhausted, hungry, and really dirty all at the same time, would you sleep, eat, or shower first?"
He laughed. "Probably eat."
"Yeah me too," I said.
He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "Why did you stoop to sleeping with someone you deemed a seven anyway?"
I laughed. "Because I lied. On a scale of one to ten, you're like a twelve, Tyler." I watched his lips curve into a smile. It made my insides flutter.
"Are you saying that you lied during truth or dare?"
"Was that when I told you that? I'm not so sure..."
"It was definitely during truth or dare."
"Hmm..."
"That's quite the offense."
"What, are you going to punish me or something?" I said with a laugh.
"I guess we'll see."
I swallowed hard.
Chapter 26
Tyler
Tuesday
I was done fighting it. As far as I was concerned, Hailey was mine. And right now, all I wanted to do was show her how true that was. A repeat of what had happened between us in the car yesterday was the best way to do that. I wanted to be inside of her again. I needed to hear her scream my name. So I was going to cash in on that rain check from yesterday. I just hoped she felt the same way as me.
"Really, they only had king beds left again?" Hailey asked as she stepped into the hotel room behind me.
As soon as she closed the door and turned around, my mouth was on hers. She clearly wanted the
same thing as me because she didn't hesitate to kiss me back. She even grabbed my shirt and pushed the fabric up my abs. We were definitely on the same page. I grabbed my shirt by its collar and pulled it over my head.
She ran her fingers down my abs as she looked up at me with her big brown eyes. Everything about her was screaming, "Fuck me."
I pushed her back against the door and kissed the side of her neck.
"I was hoping..." she moaned, abandoning her thought, as I pushed her shirt up her torso.
"What were you hoping?" I pulled her shirt off and quickly unhooked her bra, exposing her perfect tits. God, it was like they were made for my hands. I unbuttoned her shorts and pushed them and her thong down her long legs. She was visibly panting as she stared up at me completely naked.
"I was hoping that it wasn't just going to be a onetime thing," she said.
"It couldn't possibly be." My lips were on hers again as she fumbled with the zipper of my shorts.
As soon as I had kicked them to the side in the heap of clothes, I grabbed her ass, lifting her up.
She immediately wrapped her legs around my waist as I carried her to the bathroom. I kicked the door open with my foot and turned on the shower. She was kissing me like I was the air she needed to breathe. And I felt the same way. I was quickly becoming addicted to this girl. She was worried I only wanted her once? There wasn't a plan in my head that involved quitting her anytime soon. We had both more or less said we were okay with whatever this was between us. Right now that had to be enough.
She squealed when I pressed her back against the cold tile. She grabbed my face in her hands, pulling me away from my assault down the front of her chest. "Tyler." Her face had suddenly grown serious. "After Pasadena I have to go back to Indiana."
"I know." I didn't care about the future right now. All I could think about was this moment. I could stay here forever with her in my arms.
She stared back at me. "I don't have red hair and blue eyes." Now her serious face looked sad. Like she knew she wasn't what I wanted.
But she was dead wrong. I was only thinking about her.
"And I definitely wouldn't consider myself sweet." She pressed her lips together.
God she was beautiful. "I know. You're not anything like her. And all I want is you." I kissed her slowly this time, savoring the feeling of her soft lips. I carried her into the shower, letting the hot water fall on us. But the water didn't come in between us at all. It drew us closer together. Wet kisses. Slick skin. And more heat than I could handle.
My hands cupped her firm ass, sliding over her slippery skin. "I need you. Now." I stepped forward, pressing her back against the tile wall.
"Then take me."
Chapter 27
Hailey
Tuesday
God, that dirty mouth. He thinks he needs me? I'm the one that needs him.
I gripped his shoulders as he slowly slid his length inside of me. Fuck. I was still sore from yesterday, but I didn't care. I wanted every inch of him.
He sighed against my neck. "You're so fucking tight."
My. God. What was he trying to do to me? His hot breath and his even hotter words sent a chill down my spine. I ran my fingers down his muscular shoulders and back. They were slippery from the water, and it somehow made it that much more erotic. I wanted to explore his perfect body.
But as if he could hear my thoughts and disagreed, he pulled my hands from his skin and pushed the backs of them against the cold tile. This is so much hotter.
He held me in place as he began sliding slowly in and out of me. It only took me a few seconds to adjust to him, and then he picked up the pace. Yesterday I had asked him to fuck me. Now he was doing it again, but I wasn't on top. He was the one in control and he was fucking me hard. And I was loving every second of it.
I moaned as he began kissing my clavicle.
"You're the only vice I need," he groaned.
God, Tyler.
I closed my eyes as he picked up the pace even more. Each thrust slammed my ass against the wall. I could feel myself tightening around him.
"That's right, baby. Show me how much you love my cock inside of you." He bit down on my earlobe.
"Tyler," I moaned. I was almost embarrassed by how fast he was going to make me come. But the pleasure building in the pit of my stomach far outweighed my self-consciousness.
His tongue swirled around mine, somehow matching the rhythm of his relentless cock. Fuck. I had absolutely no willpower left. God, yes. I tightened my grip on his hands as I started to unravel.
He groaned in my mouth and I felt his warmth spread inside of me for the second time. It was my new favorite sensation. Nothing in the world beat that feeling.
When he let go of my hands, I immediately buried them in his hair. There was just something so sexy about the way he looked when he was completely soaked. I wasn't sure any of this would have ever happened if we didn't get stuck in that rainstorm yesterday. I needed to thank Mother Nature for this one.
He slowly pulled out of me and I slid down his hard body. My chest rose and fell against his as we both tried to catch our breaths. He dipped his fingers below my chin and tilted my face up to his. I thought he was going to say something, but instead he placed a soft kiss against my lips.
I couldn't help but melt into him. Our bodies just seemed to fit together.
"You're definitely all that I want," he whispered. "Don't second guess that, Hails."
How could he say that? In a few days we'd be going in different directions. We'd never see each other again. I swallowed hard. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the same. I linked my hands behind his neck. "You're all that I want too."
He stepped back under the water, pulling me with him. I thought he was going to kiss me again, but instead he pressed his forehead against mine. We stood that way for a long time, with the water cascading down on us. It was like we both knew that this felt like something more, but at the same time realized that it could never be. But if we just stood here, everything was alright.
***
"They had to make Nick and Jess break up," I said and gestured to the TV screen. We were watching a rerun of New Girl. Somehow it had turned into an analysis of the characters. "The show wasn't as good when they finally got together."
"Of course it was," Tyler said. "That's what everyone was waiting for."
"Then they shouldn't have done such a crappy job at making them a couple. It was very anticlimactic when they finally got together. Didn't the show almost get canceled that season?"
"I don't think so."
"All I'm saying is that the tension between Nick and Jess is what made the show. They made them hook up way too fast."
"I wouldn't say a few years was too fast," Tyler said.
"In show terms it was."
He sighed. "You're ridiculous. You do know that, right?"
"Well, if I'm ridiculous, then you're stubborn and illogical."
Tyler laughed. "I just think it kind of sucks that they aren't together now. That's all."
I rolled over so that I could look up at him instead of facing the TV. I'm not sure how I ended up with my head on his lap, but it was so comfortable. I could easily get used to watching TV like this. "Don't project your own issues onto the characters." I lightly tapped his chest. He still wasn't wearing a shirt from earlier and I liked the way my fingers felt against his skin.
"I'm not. Actually, I'm perfectly content exactly where I am." He smiled down at me.
Something constricted in my throat. Why did he keep saying stuff like that? Was it because he wanted this to be more? He had to. I knew it in my heart that he had to be feeling the same way. So why were we fighting it? We should be making a plan about what was next. I so badly wanted to ask him, but I didn't want to break whatever spell we were currently under. I just wanted to stay in this hotel room forever, analyzing TV characters and having shower sex.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Spell broken. I sat up
and hugged my knees to my chest as I turned toward him. "I really like you, Tyler."
He smiled. "I really like you too, Hails."
I took a deep breath. We were on the same page. I just needed to ask him. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course."
"You said you quit your job in New York. Are you planning on going back right away?"
He leaned back on the bed on his elbows and stared back at me. "No, I'm not."
"Where are you going then?"
"California." He smiled at me. "I'm pretty sure I already told you that."
I laughed. "I know. But are you really planning on staying there? I know that Josh offered you a job and..."
"I already have something lined up in California."
"Oh." I looked down at my knees. "How committed are you to that, though? I mean, if you worked for Josh, you could work from anywhere in the world."
"I know." He sat up and scratched the back of his neck with his hand. "And I might take him up on it later down the road, but not anytime soon."
I didn't want to talk about someday. I wanted to talk about right now. And right now, it seemed like we were supposed to be together. I didn't feel so alone when I was with him. I didn't feel like doom was knocking at my door. This was a feeling I wanted to hold on to as long as possible. "I can't change your mind?" I straddled him on the bed and his hands gravitated to my hips. I stared down into his eyes. He looked like he was in pain. He looked...lost. I felt the same way, but not when I was with him. When I was with him, everything seemed okay. I didn't feel lost anymore.
"If anyone could change my mind, it would be you." He smiled at me, his hands still locked on my hips.
"What, do you want me to beg you?" I ran my fingers down his six pack.
His Adam's apple rose and fell.
I dipped my fingers slightly before his boxers. For the first time I noticed a small scar on his hip. I thought about the accident he had been in. I thought about the loss he must have experienced. "How did you get this?"