by Deb Apodaca
After classes were almost over, I headed for my locker to grab my mace. We weren’t allowed to carry any kind of weapon around, but since I was contemplating on ditching sixth hour and walking home, I grabbed it. When I shut the metal door to the locker, I jumped a little when I saw Shane leaning against the lockers beside mine. I didn’t notice him there earlier because the door was blocking him.
I looked around to see if he was with someone, but everyone was busy running around and gossiping. No one was with Shane. Was he here for me? My eyes landed back on him and I couldn’t help but take him in; the way he leaned so elegantly on the lockers behind him. No, scratch that. It wasn’t elegance…it was…seductive. Like he was some sort of sex icon in a school full of amateurs. His thumbs were hanging off his pockets and he had a foot resting on the surface behind him. His body language radiated pure confidence. By the look of his smile, he could tell I was noticing him.
“Surprised to see me?” Shane asked.
“Umm yeah…actually.” I said, still not believing he was standing there.
“We didn’t finish our conversation earlier.” Shane stated with a slight hint of disappointment.
“There was more to talk about?” I asked.
“Let’s see…” He raised his long white fingers and pointed his index finger up. “there was me asking you out.” Then, he raised his middle finger, “You rejecting me.” He smiled as if he didn’t believe that part himself. Then he raised his ring finger to join the other two. “Then there’s me convincing you that you’ll have the best time of your life with me.” Shane lowered his hand and planted his other foot on the ground. Then he turned to me, leaning his arm against the locker as he got close to my face. His face looked determined and focused. His lips were motionless, just sitting beautifully on his face. Then, a corner curved up wickedly. “And then.” He paused. His hand found my chin and gently raised my face closer to his. “we’ll live happily ever after.” he uttered smoothly.
Even though I felt as if I were in some kind of trance, I couldn’t help but laugh. I stepped away and tried to compose myself for his benefit.
Shane looked baffled, like no one had ever laughed at one of his pick up lines. “Why are you laughing?” he asked with extreme curiosity.
“Sorry! I just-” I stopped laughing and straightened myself up. “That was one lame pick up line.” I struggled to say while holding in my laughter.
The first bell rang and the halls started clearing up. I had forgotten that Shane and I weren’t the only people in the hallway.
“I better go before the next bell. Hall monitors.” I said as I rolled my eyes. I walked away and I turned to see if he was still there so I could say bye with a wave of my hand. He was staring at me. It wasn’t the same as Dean would give me. I could always feel Dean’s eyes boring into me. Shane’s was different, subtle. It didn’t seem like there was anything else to it, just a curious stare.
I was able to ditch sixth period without getting caught. I didn’t want to be next to an empty seat. Two empty seats. I took the long walk home. When I reached the neighborhood, from a distance, I saw Dean’s bike parked in front of his old house. The one his parents got murdered in. I jogged a little until I reached it. I peeked through the windows. All I could see were webs and dust. There was broken furniture scattered everywhere like a rave hit the house. Flashes of what happened that night went through my mind. My eyes started watering as his parents reeled through my head. And when I pictured Dean standing over his mother’s body, I saw him dead too. And it hurt.
There was no sign of Dean. I walked around the house to the backyard. The gate was slightly opened. I tip toed to it and peeked my head in. I remembered this back yard in my head. The luscious lemon tree was in the middle of the yard. It was surrounded by ivy blanketing the ground below it and climbing up its trunk. It looked like a tree with a dress. The lavenders lead to it from the house, with a stone walkway in between them. There were flowers of every color imaginable bordering the whole yard along the brick walls. Every spot that didn’t have a flower had luscious green grass growing from the ground. Even as kids, we never stepped foot on that grass. It wasn’t because we weren’t allowed to, to us, it was always too beautiful to be on. We didn’t want to ruin anything. Instead we would hang out on the porch after dinner and a lot of the times we wouldn’t talk. The sun would go down and we would lie on the porch and look up at the stars trying to make each other guess which one we were looking at.
As quickly as that beautiful memory came, it left, leaving behind sadness. Everything was now dead. The dried up lemon tree looked like a fire hazard. Corpses of the once bright and beautiful flowers lay crushed against the ground all over the yard. Not even weeds grew in this graveyard. And there Dean was, standing beside the tree with his head down. Even in the light, he looked so dark and full of pain. I could see his broken heart crumbling to pieces before me. He turned to me very slowly. His eyes were sunken in. But when his eyes met mine, they glistened like the sparkling water from a creek top. He tried controlling his smile, but it broke through. His perfect teeth sparkled against the sun. It was Dean, the real Dean.
I ran to him and he tightly wrapped his arms around me. If he hadn’t held on so tight I would have melted to the floor. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my hands on his back. He felt tense, like he’d been going through a lot. His heart was pounding against the palm of my hand. It felt like a small child was punching at it. That’s when I noticed, my heart was doing the same. It was pounding against him. I wondered if he could feel it too. I rested my head against his chest so I could hear it. It was a small reminder that he really was alive inside, even though he didn’t show it too often. I remembered how hard it was pounding the night he carried me after saving me from Ayden.
Without saying a word and without letting another second pass, he gently brushed my hair behind my ears, grabbed my cheeks with each hands, and kissed my forehead. Then a light one on my eye and trailed down to my neck. The ones on my neck sent shivers that seemed out of control up my spine. He left behind damp spots from the kisses that gave me goose bumps as the quick breathing from his mouth hit the spots. His kisses were tender and full of meaning. I loved them, no matter where his lips landed, I cherished every one. I was sure he cherished every part he kissed. I’d been kissed by guys before, but never like this. They never really meant anything to me. I felt I needed Dean’s touch to survive. I needed him near me to retain my sanity. His lips parted against mine. The passion burned my lips and sent an intense rush throughout my entire body. I no longer felt the ground beneath me. He had picked me up to reach his height without much effort. I wrapped my legs around his waist to help him with the load and rested my arms on his shoulders. He didn’t release his hold on me. I was sure of that because his shoulder muscles were flexed under my hands. He kissed me like he was sure to lose me. Like he knew we were destined to not be together. Strangely, I felt the same. I felt I would lose him. I felt like none of this was real, that this was all an illusion in my head that would soon fade away.
And that was when it hit me. It had always been there, but I never realized it. I was in love with Dean.
After recuperating from the kiss, Dean walked me home. He never came inside, even with my constant invites. He would just kiss my forehead and leave, every time. Tonight I was determined to have him come inside and say hello to my mom. She would have been glad to see him. When we were younger, Dean would always come over to eat her freshly made chocolate chip cookies. Sometimes, he’d be standing by the stove, ready to catch a fresh batch. He liked the other deserts she made, but those were always his favorite.
“Please come inside.” I insisted. “My mom would love to see you.” I gently tugged at his arm, not really able to pull him. I pouted, like I did with Markus, when I really wanted something.
It didn’t work.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Dean said as he lowered to kiss me on the forehead.
“At school? Y
ou don’t even show up anymore.” I said accusingly, hoping to get some sort of an answer from him.
Dean ignored me and threw a sexy smile my way. I couldn’t believe that smile was for me. I imagined myself kissing those lips. He swiveled around and walked towards the sidewalk with a smooth stagger. Then he stopped and turned to face me. Slowly he headed my way as he rubbed the back of his head. He looked like he was contemplating on telling me something.
“Tomorrow-” Dean reached for my hands and pulled me up against him setting my arms around him. Then he wrapped his arms around my waist. “Can you do something for me?” He asked as he put his face up against mine, almost touching. His eyes were wide with hope.
“What?” My question sounded more like the answer ‘yes.’
“Instead of going to school…can you meet me at the waterfall?” Dean asked as his eyes lingered around my lips.
“What do you mean? You want me to skip school? But I-”
“It’s not like you miss a lot of days. You haven’t missed one since last school year.” Dean pointed out. This time his eyes were on mine, with an adventurous gleam. It was like when we were kids and he was convincing me to do something crazy with him. They were also bright like they used to be. His eyes were no longer sunken into a lonesome darkness.
“How would you know?” I asked, cocking my head.
“You missed yearbook picture day last year.” Dean’s eyes got more intense, like they had some sort of connection to my own eyes that I could feel. “Come on Lina…do you really think I barely started crushing on you?”
A swarm of butterflies crashed against my stomach. The throbbing pain felt good. More than good, it was a scary kind. Like when you go on a rollercoaster ride and you feel excitement and joy followed by the rushes. Right now…I was on that ride.
“You’ve been crushing on me?” I sighed.
Dean gazed at me for a moment and looked away as his lip curled up. A silent yes.
“You called me Lina. After so many years, you still call me that.” I breathed out in appreciation.
“I know.” Dean said lovingly.
“My middle name.” I smirked. “You know my dad picked that name out.” I informed.
“Do you wish for me to stop calling you that?” Dean asked with tremendous concern.
“No it’s fine. I like it.” I reached up and softly set my hand on his cheek. A smile I didn’t command formed on my face. “You’re the only one that calls me that. It’s special to me.”
“So? Will you?” Dean asked nicely, a tone he would never use on anyone else.
Without being able to deny him, I shook my head in surrender. An illuminating smile spread on his face. He had amazing teeth. They were clean, white, and straight. A dentist would be in awe at the site. He would follow by patting Dean on the back for a job well done. Dean kissed me on the forehead and walked away, into the darkness of the neighborhood street.
The next morning, I pretended to get ready for school. I wasn’t sure what Dean had planned. I didn’t think he would want to spend the whole day at the waterfall. Being prepared with a bikini sounded like a good idea though, I threw it in my book bag. I decided to wear something casual. Some white shorts and a red tank top would do. It was a little humid out, so I put the top half part of my hair up. I could always put the rest of it up if it got uncomfortable. As I stared at myself in the mirror, I wondered what else I would do with myself. And an answer that had never crossed my mind was amazingly the only one I could come up with.
Nothing.
I would do nothing with my face. No make-up, just like Dean liked it. I slipped on my white K-Swiss shoes and grabbed my book bag. I felt bad when I walked past my mom as if I were headed to school. She trusted me and I was totally lying to her without even saying a word. I said bye and walked out the front door. As soon as I stepped out, I began to shake. A rush softly whooshed with the rhythm of my heart. I had never felt this nervous before meeting up with Dean. What exactly did he have planned for us? I knew that every time Tanya would ditch school to be with a boy, she would always go a little further then kissing. Did Dean have something like that planned for us?
Markus was parked out front. I had forgotten to call him and let him know I wasn’t going to school today. I walked up to the driver’s side of the car and he rolled down his window.
“What’s up?” Markus asked casually.
“I forgot to tell you…I’m not going to school today.” I said as I knelt down to the opened window.
“Why?” Markus asked.
“I’m just-”
“Hi Markus!” My mom was waving from the open door.
Markus stuck his arm out and waved back. In that moment, I acted like I was already headed for the passenger seat as if my mom’s appearance had nothing to do with it. I opened the door and slid casually in the seat. Markus put the car in reverse to get out of the driveway and we drove off.
“Did you notice anything when you got in?” Markus asked with a proud smile.
“What? Another accidental haircut?” I teased.
“You should really pay more attention to details Mindy. You might figure things out on your own.” Markus said.
“What are you talking about?” I asked unsure of where this was headed.
“Take me for instance; I knew you were ditching before you told me because of the bookless bag with a bikini string hanging out that you’re carrying.” Markus pointed out. “And you ditched sixth hour yesterday.”
I felt my bag without looking down at it. It was empty and I didn’t even realize it before. The only thing in it was a pink flowered bikini that didn’t even add to the weight of the bag.
“You missed it yesterday.” He said with excitement. It was the kind of excitement that came with gossip.
“What?” I asked, hoping he would forget about me ditching.
“After school, I was in the hallway with Tanya right. Shane was looking for you and out of nowhere-”
“Wait a minute…Shane? Shane was looking for me?” I asked.
“Yeah. And then Ashley comes out and-”
“What did he say?” I interrupted yet again. I still couldn’t believe that Shane was looking for me again, even after I laughed in his face and turned him down. He was still interested? In what? It didn’t seem like he liked me. None of this made sense.
“Are you serious? That’s not even the juicy part.” Markus huffed out.
“A hot guy goes looking for me and you don’t think that’s juicy?” I asked.
“Fine. He asked if you were around. I told him you weren’t and then he walked away.” Markus turned and made sure I looked at him. He imitated a girly giggle and waved his hands close to his chest, like a girl that just got asked to prom by a popular guy. Then, with a girly scream, he said, “Oh my God!”
“Whatever!” I giggled while lightly shoving his shoulder.
“Can I finish now?” Markus paused and after I nodded in agreement, he continued with the gossip. “So, he’s walking away right. And out of nowhere Ashley jumps in front of him and smacks him across the face!”
“What! You’re kidding me!” I screeched out.
“Yeah and then she started yelling stuff at him. Some crazy stuff.” Markus said.
“Like what?” I asked.
“All I could make out was…’I know what you did to Jennifer’.” Markus paused and he looked like he was trying to search a meaning in that. “Then he silenced her. He raised his hand up and she stopped yelling. He said…‘I did nothing to her. You were mistaken-’ ”
“Then what?” I interrupted…again!
“Would you let me finish!” Markus snapped.
“Sorry! Geesh!” I said.
“She repeated it back to him. She said…‘You did nothing to her’. I was mistaken.’ ” Markus said. “It was weird. The way she said it was zombie like. Like she was-”
“Hypnotized.” I finished what Markus was saying. Hypnotized by Shane, that’s how I usually felt around
him. I remembered the first time I met him, how I felt I couldn’t function. I felt way too drawn to him for being the first time I met him.
“Yeah. Then she turned around and walked away.”
“Vampires use that kind of stuff don’t they?” I asked without really thinking about what I was saying.
Markus took a deep breath. “So, where are you going?” He asked, disregarding my question.
“Don’t you know?” I challenged. “A good detective should have some idea.” Maybe he just didn’t feel like talking about the whole vampire theory right now. I’d leave it alone…for now.
“I’m not a psychic.” Markus shot back. Then he smirked followed by a long pause, “You’re meeting Dean aren’t you?” he asked.
“What makes you think that?” I asked defensively.
“Okay. Okay…you’re not.” Markus rolled his eyes like he was just saying that to calm me down.
We were approaching the entrance I always used to get to the waterfall. Something looked different about it. Something odd that I couldn’t put my finger on.
“Pull up here.” I pointed.
“Why?” Markus asked.
“Just do it.” I said.
He slowly parked the car out of the road and turned to me. I went for the door handle and he called my attention.
“Mindy.” Markus said as he shifted nervously in his seat.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“I-I’ve been meaning to tell you something.” Markus huffed out. “I don’t think I should. I know I shouldn’t.” he blurted.
He re-adjusted himself in his seat and gazed at me. He looked away and tried to alleviate the situation by making beep bop noises with his mouth and drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel. I’d never seen him like this. Oh no. Did he…
“Uh oh. Don’t tell me you’ve had a secret crush on me!” I shrieked.
“What! God no!” Markus made a face of disgust. “I’m not into red heads. And you smell like coconuts.” He stuck out his tongue and pretended to gag himself with his index finger.