by Maree Green
He was lying in the middle of his bed with his hands behind his head as he watched me. He was only wearing boxers, but I was too concerned about what was going on to even care.
“Hey,” he said.
I frowned. He didn’t seem mad, or even disappointed. He just seemed . . . sad.
“I’m really sorry, Daniel,” I said, coming closer. The way his eyes grew even sadder made my heart ache. “Ryan said he wanted to talk to me, and I didn’t know if he’d make a scene, so I thought it was best if I went outside. Then he needed to go to the store for Corey, so I just went with him so he could talk and it would be over . . . ”
Daniel shook his head. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. Ryan told me this afternoon.”
I paused. Ryan already told him? That he wanted me back?
“Oh, okay.”
“You know it’s okay if you decide to go back, don’t you? I meant what I said, it’s your choice to make. No one else’s, and I’ll respect that. I know I don’t have much to offer you in the way of security. Your mom was right about that. I mean, I don’t even know how often I’ll get to see you once I leave. I’ll be in Australia for at least six months, and then back at San Diego. It could be months in between.”
I stared at him like he had two heads. How on earth did he think I could ever go back to Ryan after being with him? And didn’t he realize I’d already thought about everything he’d just said? That I was happy to wait?
I wasn’t sure what he saw on my face, but he suddenly sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, reaching out to take my hand. I automatically pulled away, needing to say what was on my mind before his touch made my mind melt.
A look of hurt flashed through his eyes at my rejection. I sighed.
“Look. I’m just going to say this because . . . because I’m brave, goddamn it!” Drawing in a deep breath, I steeled myself. “It’s always been you, Daniel. I kind of knew it before, but after tonight, I know. Without a doubt. I know. My soul may have gotten a little confused with the similarities between you and Ryan, but the second I met you, I knew it was you I was supposed to be with.”
Stopping to get my head straight, I took another deep breath, feeling myself growing angry with the whole situation.
“Yes, my parents would prefer me to be with Ryan, but you know what? I lived with those people for nineteen years. Nineteen years, Daniel, and I still didn’t really know who I was as an individual. You’ve been in my life for three weeks. Three weeks! You’ve done more for me in three weeks than they’ve done in nineteen years. I actually know who I am now. You’ve taught me that it’s okay to be who I really am—that I’m not unlovable being my true self—and you’ve taught me to stand up and believe in my own choices. So this is what I’m doing. I choose you, and I’m not backing down. You can give me all the reasons why I shouldn’t be with you all you like, but it’s not going to make me change my mind. I want you.”
Daniel watched me for a long while. I was sure he was still trying to comprehend what I’d said. After a few drawn-out heartbeats, he gently shook his head. “How is this even possible?”
I cocked my head to the side. “What?”
“This. Us. How can we only know each other for this long and be so sure?”
I stepped right in front of him, standing between his knees. Taking his face in my hands, I tilted his head back so he would see the honesty in my eyes. “I will wait for you, Daniel. However long it takes. You do what you need to do, and I’ll still be here when you get back.”
I watched him draw in a shaky breath, his eyes shining as he looked deep into mine. “I could never ask you to do that,” he said, his voice almost a whisper.
I gave him a tiny smile to show him just how silly his words were. “You’ll never have to.”
Chapter 12
Daniel
I was lost for words. I felt like I should be trying to make her see reason or something, but just as she’d said she wanted me, I wanted her too. Too much.
With gentle hands, I took her hips and slowly pulled her closer, until she was pressed against my chest and I could wrap my arms around her. Resting my forehead on her breastbone, I just allowed myself to take it all in.
Back at Amber’s house, when I’d seen her leave the house with Ryan, I’d been nervous. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew what Ryan was doing, and I wanted to prepare myself for any outcome.
What I hadn’t expected, was for her not to come back inside. When Noah’s brother, Micah, had come back in and said they’d left, I was gutted. It didn’t help that all her friends were suddenly looking at me with pity, either.
I tried to wait for as long as I could, but after almost an hour, I knew I’d lost. I’d tucked my tail between my legs and slunk back home.
To say I was surprised when she’d knocked on my door was an understatement, but then I just thought she’d come to apologize and say goodbye. Hearing that speech of hers was the last thing I’d expected, but now she’d said it—now that it was out there—it set a resolve inside me. A vow to do everything I could to make this thing between us work.
Amy’s hand moved over the back of my neck and softly burrowed in my hair, holding me to her. I breathed her in, slow and deep. I didn’t know exactly when her scent had become like a drug to me, but it seriously was now. I was addicted to it. To her.
Slowly sliding my hands down over her hips, I caressed every curve. I fucking loved her body. It was perfect for me. We just fit.
Since that night I’d brought her back home for our movie picnic, and she’d let me touch her so intimately, we’d barely been able to keep our hands off each other. I’d made sure it never got too out of hand, though, because I knew it would kill me if I ever found out she regretted anything we did.
When my hands reached the bare skin on her legs, I started sliding them up again, this time under her dress. Her body trembled against me, and her fingers tightened in my hair. I moved my hands higher, skimming over her hips, past her panties and the curve of her waist, until they were encasing her ribcage.
Amy’s breath started coming faster. I could feel her ribs expanding under my hands. Her hands tightened even more, pulling me against her, but then she was shifting, her legs straddling mine on the bed until she was sitting on my lap.
She gazed into my eyes for a heartbeat, a fierce look of possession blazing in their depths, before she took my mouth with a slow, burning kiss.
I inhaled deeply, the combination of her touch and smell a heady, intoxicating mix.
Taking the passive seat, I let her control the pace, knowing she needed it.
Only a few short days ago, she’d been shy and hesitant. She’d been receptive, but I could tell she was nervous by her inability to initiate anything with me. Back then, I thought maybe she was uncertain about being with me, and maybe she was, but now I knew differently.
Skimming her lower lip over mine, she tightened her grip in my hair and arched her body into mine. It was the sexiest fucking thing, knowing she’d only been like this with me. I was instantly hard.
Amy inhaled a shuddering breath when she felt my hardness, her mouth clamping down on mine, her tongue stroking inside. Then she pushed down on me, the feel of her heat through my boxers making me groan with need.
My fingers tensed where they were still holding on to her sides. I wanted to move. I wanted to touch and stroke every part of her, but I also wanted her to have the control, so I forced myself to keep them in place.
Breaking the kiss, she leaned back a little and released her grip on me. Unwillingly, I loosened my hold and slid my hands down to her hips again. It was getting harder and harder to tear myself away from her each time. I was very much okay with stopping any time she wanted to, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want her like my next breath.
I was preparing myself to tone it right down, but then she was reaching down and pulling the hem of her dress upwards and off, leaving her sitting in my lap in just her bra and panties.
The passiveness I’d been keeping a tight leash on evaporated in the blink of an eye.
In one swift movement, I took her face in my hands and crushed my lips to hers. Amy reacted with just as much intensity, her hands going to my back to hold me against her, her fingernails digging into my skin.
Stroking my tongue over hers, I slid one hand down until I was cupping her breast, running my thumb over the soft material of her bra in time with my kiss. Tearing her mouth away from mine, she threw her head back and gasped for air.
God help me, but she was just so incredibly sexy.
Unable to stop myself, I claimed her exposed neck, licking and sucking that little place behind her ear I knew she liked so much. She groaned, grinding her hips against mine.
I growled in response, cupping her other breast, then softly running both my thumbs over the part covering her nipples. I knew how sensitive they were and just how breathless and needy it made her.
With a groan, she clenched her hands in my hair and ripped my mouth away from her neck, kissing me hungrily.
“Make love to me,” she whispered in a breath before claiming my mouth again.
Her words were like a shot of adrenaline straight into my nervous system. I suddenly couldn’t catch my breath. Forcing myself to keep a tiny sliver of consciousness, I searched for the right words to answer.
“It’s okay,” I choked.
It’s okay? What did that even mean? I had no fucking idea.
“No,” she breathed. “It’s not. I want you, Daniel. I need you. Please, make love to me.”
Jesus fucking Christ.
With an extraordinary amount of control, I pulled back so I could look into her eyes. “Are you sure?”
She met my gaze unwaveringly. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
Oh, God.
My initial reaction was to grab the opportunity she’d given me and kiss her everywhere I could get my mouth to, but then my sensibility kicked in. “Baby, I don’t have any condoms.”
She looked at me and bit her lip, that shyness creeping back in. “I’m on the pill, and you know I haven’t been with anyone else, so . . . ”
Fuck. I swallowed hard, almost choking. “I’m clean. I had regular health checks on base, and I haven’t been with anyone for a while,” I said, reality quickly catching up with me, making the tension inside me grow to the point of being painful. This was going to happen. She was going to let me inside her. With no protection.
“I trust you,” she whispered.
Jesus . . .
I tried to keep the fact that this was her first time in the forefront of my mind, but damn, it was fucking hard. Her body with so filled with need, it seemed to have unleashed an assertive and demanding woman who’d obviously been hiding inside her.
She clutched at me, writhed on top of me, took my mouth hard, her tongue delving and stroking like she wanted to consume me, and maybe I was weak, or maybe my need for her was equal to hers, but either way, it had my control by the balls.
Snapping the clasp on her bra, I pulled it off with hurried hands and tossed it across the room. Clutching her to me, I stood and twisted, placing her in the middle of my bed.
Nerves pulsed through my veins. I wasn’t inexperienced, but I’d only been with two other girls before this, and neither of them were anything like Amy. Even though both of those relationships had each lasted a few months, they’d both been older than me, and more like my educators when it came to physical relationships than actual girlfriends.
This was Amy’s first time. I wanted it to be special. Memorable, in a really good way. It was a lot of pressure.
More to calm myself down than anything, I lightly pressed myself against her and kissed her, slow and deep, taking my time. I didn’t want to rush it. I wanted to be able to give her time. Time to adjust. Time to build on her need. Time to change her mind if she needed to.
With each passing minute I felt her body both relax, yet grow with tension at the same time. Nothing about her felt unsure at all. The realization of it blew my mind. Knowing she was completely comfortable and willing to give me one of the most amazing gifts she could ever give me, was a wonderment I didn’t think I could ever become complacent with.
My heart raced at the thought, and everything inside me clicked. Body and mind. I was with her in this moment. When I moved to stroke my hand down over her silky skin, she arched into me. When I laced my fingers in her hair, pressing down on her, she curled with me. Every movement I made, she countered. Like the push and pull of the tide. We were in perfect harmony.
“Daniel . . . ”
The breathy sound of my name from her lips was the equivalent of the final tumblers falling into place.
I’d never felt like this. Ever. I’d never had this burning sense of connection that made me feel like what I was doing was more than just a physical act—more than just a means to reaching the highs of an immense pleasure. It intensified every little touch of her hands. Every sound that escaped her perfect lips. Every movement of her beautiful body under mine.
It was almost overwhelming.
“God, Amy,” I said against her ear, my voice strangely thick and gravelly. Kissing her heatedly, I clutched her hair in my hands. “You ruin me.”
She whimpered against my lips, sending an ache through my chest like never before.
“Absolutely fucking ruin me . . . ”
“Daniel,” she gasped. “I need you . . . ”
At her words, a wave of calmness washed over me. Yeah, I needed her too.
Slowly, I started kissing my way down her body. I tasted every inch of skin I could find, and when I reached her breasts, I slowed, taking my time, concentrating to taste her gently, trying to find that finely balanced line between pleasure and pain.
When I had her writhing and crying underneath me, clutching at me and pulling me down harder between her legs, I knew I’d gotten it right. All sense of control had been abandoned.
Watching her and feeling her so free was the single most erotic thing I’d ever experienced. I swear I’d never been so fucking hard in my entire life. It was actually borderline painful.
Moving lower, I kissed and suckled the soft skin on her stomach and the contours of her hip bones. She moaned and arched off the bed, her hands clenching tightly in the sheets.
Pressing her legs farther apart, I licked the insides of her thighs, right beside her panty line.
“Oh, God . . .” she whimpered.
Needing to taste her, I hooked my fingers under the sides of her panties and started dragging them down.
A part of me was still waiting for her to stop me. Surely I couldn’t be so fucking lucky. But she just lifted her hips, her breath coming faster and faster, mixed in with little whimpers every now and again. The sound of it drove me crazy with need.
Edging my way off the bed, I dragged her panties over her feet and dropped them to the floor. Looking down at her, lying naked on my bed, almost had me choking on my own breath.
Fucking hell. Without a doubt, she had to be to the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. She blinked up at me, her lips parted as she panted breathlessly, her legs bent and pressed together as she tried to ease the ache between them.
Swallowing against my suddenly thick throat, I knelt on the edge of the bed and gently parted her legs. My hands shook as I softly ran them down the insides of her thighs.
Inhaling deeply, I leaned forward and kissed the trail my hands had left. I fucking loved the feel of her skin against my lips. It was so soft, so smooth. And she smelled incredible. I had to hold myself back from devouring her senseless.
My mouth watered as I licked either side of her shaved pussy. I was dying to taste her. She arched her back, spreading her legs wider as she moaned and thrashed her head from side to side.
As gently as I could under the circumstances, I ran my tongue over her opening.
She gasped, then whimpered. “Oh, God . . . ”
Then I circled her clit w
ith the flat of my tongue. Slowly.
Amy dragged the sheets tighter into her grip and threw her head back as she made some sort of noise that sounded a lot like purring. It was sexy as all hell.
I circled it a few more times, not able to hold myself back from quickening my pace as I went. I knew of the few times she’d let me touch her over the last week, she hadn’t taken long to fall apart, so I knew she’d most likely be close.
The thought of her coming on my tongue had me quickening my pace even more, but then I reminded myself that I was about to become her first, and I needed to keep her up on that ledge.