When Julia had mentioned the book club to Ally, her friend immediately decided they both had to go.
“Fierce Longing, Fierce Craving, and Fierce Loving,” Ally announced the titles of the trilogy, her voice rising with each book. “It sounds so passionate!”
Hailey piped up. “Now it is erotic romance, but there's no BDSM, so I hope that's okay with you ladies.” She pointed at each of them, her perfectly manicured pink fingernail daring them to speak up or forever hold their peace.
Ally whispered something to the woman next to her, Lauren, who whispered back, and then they both nodded enthusiastically. In fact, every single one of the twentysomething women looking for love enthusiastically agreed. Except Mad, short for Madison, a woman with short fire-engine-red dyed hair and a black T-shirt that proclaimed Crazy Bitch. Mad jerked her chin and said, “Whatever. I'm only here because I lost a bet.” This, of course, they all knew because she'd announced when she arrived that her older brother had “suckered her into it,” but she felt the need to remind them that she really didn't want to be here.
Mad's older brother, Josh, the charming bartender from Garner's Sports Bar & Grill, was supposed to be the token male at the book club and, as Hailey had informed them earlier, he'd failed to come through in her request to send any single male friends their way. It seemed that his usual interest in entertaining the ladies didn't extend to reading a book of Hailey's choosing.
The pink fingernail of doom hovered in Julia's direction, spiking her body temperature. She quickly busied herself looking for a ponytail holder in her purse. If she had her hair up, surely she'd cool off, this telltale blush would die down, and she could formulate a convincing response.
The circle of women—Ally, Lauren, Mad, Carrie, Charlotte, and Hailey—fell silent.
“Julia,” Hailey prompted.
She jerked her head up, took in all the questioning faces, and felt a bead of sweat running down her spine. She yanked her hair into a high ponytail and pulled her sweater away from her overheated body. “What?”
Hailey gave her a small, patient smile. “Will my choice of book be okay with you? We'll be alternating fiction and nonfiction, so it won't always be smutty, sinful—” she paused to fan herself “—juicy stuff. This is just to make us more open to meeting someone. Getting us in the mo-o-od for love.” She lifted a finger and addressed the room. “I will find some men for book club.” She turned to Julia. “You are here because you're ready to meet someone, correct?”
Julia swallowed hard, opened her mouth and closed it again. Incorrect. She really wasn't ready to meet anyone, but she had to do something to fix the mess she'd made between her and Angel. Their screwed-up history was all on her. She'd crossed the line; she had to fix it.
Sex ruined everything.
Sleeping with Angel the night of Brad's funeral had been the worst mistake of her life. Even worse than the first time she'd slept with Angel. The guilt and shame over that, both times, had been overwhelming, but what nearly killed her was Angel bailing on her. Both times. Everyone important in her life bailed on her-her birth mom, Brad, and, worst of all, Angel.
The last time they'd screwed had nearly destroyed their friendship. Nearly destroyed her. Angel stopped visiting, only called, and when they talked, he was distant. She didn't see him for an excruciating month. Between the loss of Brad and the loss of Angel, she thought she would die. When Angel finally did stop by, he was so closed off, barely looking at her, no trace of the old teasing Angel around.
He hadn't touched her since, not even in a friendly gesture. Five long years. She knew he must've regretted it as much as she did.
They could never cross that line again. Forbidden.
She blinked as Hailey squatted in front of her in a pink cashmere sweater and pink pants, looking directly into Julia's eyes. Hailey spoke in a careful, measured tone like Julia might freak out at any minute. “How about we just read the first chapter of the first book, Fierce Longing, out loud to see if it works for you. Would that be okay?”
Julia's palms were sweating. She never liked to be the center of attention. She focused on Hailey's pink shoulder, unable to sustain the direct eye contact. She was no prude. She just wasn't quite prepared for…this.
“Come on, Julia,” Ally called. “Don't be such a good girl.”
Julia was not a good girl. It was a shameful, painful fact that she had to live with.
“No shaming, ladies,” Hailey announced, rising to her feet and taking them all in. “We all have personal circumstances that may be, uh, personal.”
“Can we just get on with this?” Mad asked, slouching further in her chair and crossing her black work boots over each other. “I'm so bored I could spit.”
“There's no call for that,” Hailey said primly. She took her seat and pursed her pink lips. “We would've liked to see your brother here today.”
Mad rolled her eyes. “Everyone wants to see my brother.” She looked around the café. “Any chance I can get a cup of joe?”
“Please do,” Hailey said. “Anyone else want a drink while I chat with Julia?”
Julia stiffened. She did not want to have a probing heart-to-heart with Miss Perky. “I'm sure whatever book you picked will be just fine.”
“Yay!” Ally did a little clap of glee.
Ten minutes later, everyone settled with their drinks. Hailey stood, holding an e-reader, behind Julia's chair. “Ready for Fierce Longing? If you all like it, we can get the other two books too.”
“Hold up,” Charlotte, a personal trainer wearing a long black tunic and black yoga pants, said. “Is this a cliffhanger?”
“I think so,” Hailey said. “It's the same couple in all three.”
“Now we have to read all three,” Charlotte moaned.
The other ladies grumbled about not having the whole story up front. Julia shifted in her seat. Were they really going to spend three weeks of book club getting turned on…together? When she'd signed up for a singles book club, she hadn't imagined getting turned on in front of a bunch of women. She'd pictured polite conversation with single men, helped along by Hailey's cheerful prompts. This was going to be so embarrassing. But then Hailey began to read in her clear, crisp tones, and she made the story come to life.
Damon Ryder was an ordinary man with extraordinary powers of persuasion. He brokered deals that could not be brokered, negotiated the nonnegotiable, and brought his talents equally to whatever woman he wanted. And, this time, he wanted librarian Mia Lilly. He didn't care that she was his best friend's little sister, a dewy innocent twenty-two to his thirty, unused to the rougher passions. He'd wanted her before she left for college, and now that she'd returned home, he'd have her. Damon Ryder took what he wanted.
Julia crossed her legs tightly and avoided eye contact with the other women.
Hailey went on in a hushed voice. He waited in the shadows outside of the library for Mia. She strode at a brisk pace down the sidewalk, her purse held tightly in one hand as she made her way to her car. Damon grabbed her from behind and pulled her into the shadows, quickly muffling her scream with his hand. Hailey lowered her voice to a husky tone that approximated a man startlingly well. “Mia, you know me. Come with me.” He did not ask, he demanded, expecting full compliance.
The throbbing between Julia's legs intensified. It had been five years since she'd been with a man.
Hailey went on. He turned her to face him. Mia's hand flew to her throat, but he could see the hidden banks of desire in her wide brown eyes. He knew what she longed for, what she craved.
“Damon, you scared me.” Hailey's voice played a breathy feminine tone. The woman should've been an actress. Damon wrapped her long, dark brown hair around his fist. “That was not my intent.” He didn't miss the flush to her cheeks, nor her rapid breathing. He tilted her head, using his grip on her hair to expose her pale throat. Her scent, roses and intoxicating Mia, filled him with lust. He placed his lips on the rapidly beating pulse of her neck, and she let out a t
iny gasp. He lifted his head, still holding her in a tight grip. “Get in the car, Mia. It's time.”
“T-time for what?”
“Time to satisfy this fierce longing,” Damon growled.
“Oh,” she said on a shaky breath. She licked her lips, the movement drawing his attention, quickening his pulse.
“Do you deny me?” Damon demanded.
“No.”
He guided her to the car, settling her in with great care, and took off. The Ferrari, like the man, roared with barely leashed power. “Do you remember your safe word?”
“Where are we going?” Mia squeaked.
“We're going to my estate, where you will learn the depth of your passion and I will slake mine. We can only do this if I know you remember the word you chose upon your return to Longwood. Say it and everything stops.”
Hailey paused.
“Keep going!” the women chorused. Except Julia, who was soaked with desire and a fierce longing just like the book's title. Having Hailey behind her made it surprisingly easy to get into the story. The voices felt so real, the tension, the attraction. She kept her gaze fixed on a small dark knot in the wood of the floor, not wanting the other women to notice how flushed she felt.
Hailey placed a hand on Julia's shoulder, making her jump. “Are you okay so far, Julia? I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.”
Julia shook her head, her cheeks burning. “I'm fine!” she squeaked. “Don't worry about me. This is fine. Great. No problem at all.”
“Sure?” Hailey asked.
“Just get on with it!” Mad barked.
Hailey continued with the darkly erotic scene that took place on Damon's luxury dining room table, followed by a shared bath to soothe Mia before the ultimate seduction in his bedroom, where he'd never allowed another woman before. Mia didn't use her safe word even once. Julia wouldn't have either. Not with a man like Damon. She pushed a sweaty tendril of hair off her forehead just as Hailey announced, “And that's chapter one, ladies. Read on your own and we'll chat about it at our next meeting in two weeks.”
There was no way in hell Julia was going to “chat” about something that got her off like this book did. If she'd been alone, she very well might've—
“Or we could go right to the nonfiction choice,” Hailey said in a tone that said the boring choice. She took her seat again next to Julia. “It's called Rejuvenate Your Life Through Decluttering. It might be good before the New Year.” New Year's Day was only two days away.
“Boo,” the women chorused.
“I'd like that one, please,” Julia said, earning a groan from her fellow single women looking for love.
Hailey held up a hand. “I want everyone to feel comfortable. We'll do the nonfiction choice next time as Julia requested. Please read Fierce Longing on your own, if you like.” She flashed a quick grin. “I sure will.”
The women gathered their purses and coats. Ally gave Julia a small smile. “I'll let you know how Fierce Longing is. Maybe you'll change your mind.”
“No, that's okay,” Julia said, avoiding eye contact as her cheeks and neck burned. “You just enjoy it on your own. I'm going to grab that other book. See ya.” She hurried through the archway that led to the attached bookstore.
“Happy New Year!” Ally called.
“You too!” she returned with a quick glance over her shoulder. Ally waved jauntily with a big smile and headed out the door with the other women. Julia tried to think cooling thoughts as she went to the nonfiction section.
Hailey appeared at her side. “I hope I haven't offended you.”
Far from it. “Not at all,” Julia replied sincerely. “I'm just much more interested in nonfiction.” Not really. She grabbed the book that was face-out, Rejuvenate Your Life Through Decluttering, and under that title was a bold promise in big letters, “Add joy to your life!” Julia stared at it for a moment, hoping it was true. She could really use some joy in her life. A part of her died with her husband, Brad. Even his name, Turner, stuck with her, a constant reminder. Even though it would be easier to go back to her maiden name, MacKendrick, some part of her couldn't sully his memory by slashing away his name. She wouldn't be the person she was today without him. His extroverted, energetic personality had brought her out of her shell, introducing her to a party lifestyle, a social life she'd never had before. She'd spent most of high school at home reading; sometimes she read side-by-side with her equally introverted best friend. She rarely went out, never had a boyfriend. In college, with Brad at her side, she'd connected with people for the first time. Her throat got tight. Dammit. She definitely needed rejuvenation.
She glanced at Hailey, who smiled. The woman reminded Julia of a beautiful princess from a fairy tale. The kind that would sing to the forest animals. “I'll go pay for this.”
She took the book to the register, and Hailey followed. It seemed Hailey wasn't done with her yet.
“Find everything you need today?” the woman behind the register asked. She had dark brown hair in a braid and black-rimmed glasses. She looked a little like Julia imagined the bookish Mia, minus the glasses.
“Yes, thank you,” Julia said.
“Anything else?” the woman prompted. “We have the Fierce trilogy in paperback.”
Julia flushed and shook her head.
Hailey piped up. “If you change your mind, you can buy the e-book.”
“I'm fine,” Julia said, forcing a smile for Hailey and the other woman's benefit. She handed over her credit card. A few minutes later, book in hand, she headed out, Hailey hot on her heels.
“All sexy books aside,” Hailey said in a low tone, “you do want help changing your single status, don't you? I mean, that's why you called me. Everyone else showed up here today because of a flyer I posted in the bookstore, except Mad and your friend. Anyway, I got the feeling you really needed my help.”
Julia stopped and took a deep breath, her stomach already tightening with anxiety. “Yes, I guess so.”
“It won't be hard to find someone who wants to take you out. I mean, look at you!” Hailey lifted a lock of Julia's hair. “Gorgeous long chestnut brown hair—”
“It's just dark brown and shoulder length.”
Hailey went on as if Julia hadn't spoken. “With blue eyes and flawless skin, a captivating combination!” Julia flushed as Hailey continued to wax poetic, waving her hands all around Julia like she was showing off the features of the newest sports car. “High cheekbones, adorable little pointed chin, and I know you've got curves hiding—”
“Hailey, I'm begging you, lower your voice. And your hands.”
Hailey dropped her hands and asked in a fervent whisper that surely carried throughout the store, “You remember Josh from cooking class? Mad's older brother the bartender?”
Julia nodded. Josh was handsome, but extremely flirty with all women. Clearly experienced and used to playing the field. She wasn't ready for the likes of Josh. “I don't think Josh is a good choice for me.”
Hailey leaned in conspiratorially. “You can practice on him. He thought you were pretty, and he's not looking for serious. Could be fun, right? A good icebreaker to step back into the dating pool?”
And, though Julia could surely use the practice (she'd only ever dated her husband), she feared Josh was just too big of a first step. “I don't think so.”
Hailey put a polished pink finger to her pink lips and studied Julia.
“Thanks anyway,” Julia said in what she hoped was a breezy but firm tone. “I should be going.” It was difficult enough to get up the nerve to go to Singles Book Club without Hailey insisting on a setup with Josh. Besides, Julia was still revved up from that sexy first chapter. She needed to take the edge off with her trusty vibrator, Bob the III, far away from other women.
She took a step toward the door when Hailey stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Clover Park doesn't have a lot of single men. At least, none that I'm acquainted with. Why don't you cast a wider net?” Hailey pressed a small fold
ed piece of paper into Julia's hand. “It's an online dating site that comes highly recommended.”
Julia held the paper with the tips of her fingers like it was on fire. “Oh, I don't know…online dating doesn't seem all that safe.” And the thought of meeting up with a stranger made her nauseous.
Hailey snagged the paper and shoved it into the gap at the top of Julia's purse. “You meet them in a public place and let a friend know where and when you'll be meeting them. It's just as safe as any other date.” Hailey gave her a little shove toward the door. “Go forth and hook a good one!”
“Bye,” she said instead of what politeness kept her from saying—no way in hell I'm doing this.
“I'll follow up next time I see you!” Hailey caroled in her cheerful dictator voice.
Julia hugged her new book to her as she stepped into the bracingly cold winter air and headed around the corner to where she'd parked her car. Rejuvenation was what she needed, not blind dates. But then she remembered her goal. The whole reason she'd reached out to Hailey. She needed to find someone long enough for Angel to move on. His future happiness meant more to her than any uncomfortable nerves.
She slipped into her black Honda Civic and started the car. She gave it a minute; the old car always ran choppy on cold days. Angel was her rock, and she couldn't risk losing him as a friend. Their attraction in weak moments was something she acted on and neither one of them could control.
Julia had been a terrible wife. A terrible girlfriend too. But, dammit, she needed to be a good widow.
Want to read more? A Tempting Friendship is out now!
Other Books by Kylie Gilmore
The Clover Park Series
The Opposite of Wild (Book 1)
Daisy Does It All (Book 2)
Bad Taste in Men (Book 3)
Kissing Santa (Book 4)
Restless Harmony (Book 5)
Not My Romeo (Book 6)
Rev Me Up (Book 7)
An Ambitious Engagement (Book 8)
Clutch Player (Book 9)
A Tempting Friendship (Book 10)
The Clover Park STUDS Series
Clutch Player Page 19