by Emily Camp
“Maggie, I realize you want to see the best in …,” Parker started.
“That’s what you don’t understand,” Maggie’s hands flipped through the air. “You two have her so demonized by whatever happened a long time ago, you have no clue. Before Lloyd, between boyfriends, she was mom. This time, she says she’s done with men, and I have to believe that.” Tears poured out of her eyes as she shook her head. “She used to … she used to take us to the lake and we’d get home all sticky and sunburned and we’d have ice cream before dinner and she’d sit on the front porch and spray us with the water hose. And when I had a crush on Conner James in the eighth grade and he called me ugly, mom walked right up to him after school and told him how he wasn’t good enough for me.”
Bree felt a pang in her heart. She was sure Maggie saw most of those things through rose colored glasses, that letting your child get sunburned or eat ice cream before dinner were not the most responsible things a parent would do. And she was sure the only reason her mom was on the front porch with the water hose was because of some man she had her eye on living somewhere on the block.
“You two claim to be Christians, isn’t there something about forgiveness and honoring your parents?”
Parker flinched. Bree knew he never considered Mindy his mom. Parker was adopted by his Uncle and his wife when he was six.
“I know Mom and she’ll tell you what you want to hear to get you to do what she wants,” Bree said.
“She has nobody,” Maggie’s voice cracked.
Bree swallowed the lump in her throat. She didn’t feel sorry for Mindy. As far as Bree was concerned, she got what she deserved, but she hated that Maggie didn’t know any better, that Maggie wanted a parent so badly she wasn’t being realistic.
“Shouldn’t that tell you something about her?” Parker crossed his arms and scowled.
Maggie glared at him. “What do you know? You were five when you were taken away. Do you even have any real memories?”
“Yeah, I do remember having to make you a bottle while she was sick and her telling me I was stupid because I had a speech problem from her neglect.”
“She made a mistake when we were little. That doesn’t make her bad. People change.”
Bree bit her bottom lip. It was true, people did change, but she knew her mother enough to know she hadn’t. When Bree moved in with her a couple years ago she wanted to believe she’d changed and that she’d be the mom she promised to be. It only took her a couple months to be back to her old self.
“Unbelievable,” Parker grumbled.
“She told me the same thing,” Bree said.
“But she still wasn’t over Lloyd; she’d just moved out of his place. They’ve been broken up for almost a year now.”
“And she’s had two other men since him,” Parker barked.
Maggie glared his way before turning back to Bree, her hair whipping in her face. “I want to live with mom. She’s trying, this time for real, and she doesn’t deserve to be treated like this.”
Bree met Parker’s eyes. Bree knew Maggie was repeating exactly what Mindy said.
“Fine, go, whatever,” Parker lifted his hand in the air.
“Parker,” Bree started, just before sobs came out of Maggie again.
“Why do you hate me?” Maggie leaned forward and held her arms stiff at her sides.
“I don’t hate you!” Parker’s voice was louder than Maggie’s, making Bree jump.
“Stop fighting!” Bryson shouted from just outside the door.
Bree turned to see him in the doorway, red faced and messy hair.
“All you ever do is fight.” He clenched his fists and his shoulders heaved. “Just like mom and her boyfriends.” Then he turned and ran off.
“Bryson,” all three of them said at the same time before taking off after him.
Parker turned to Maggie at the door. “I’m sorry.”
Bree’s head spun she didn’t know where this was going, but yet another reason she liked the Light’s house better than her own family. It was chaos here. She felt bad for thinking it, but it was true. Maggie needed to chill out and Parker needed to back off.
They reached Bryson before he ran out the door. All they needed was another runaway this week after everything else that broke loose: the pregnancy, which hadn’t even been revealed, Garrett’s accident, Maggie’s running off, and now this.
All Bree wanted was a normal, quiet life.
Parker and Maggie took turns hugging Bryson and apologizing. Bree was glad she didn’t have to be the one to calm anyone down this time.
Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out of her pocket. Garrett. She felt bad letting it go to voice mail, but she didn’t want to get into the drama that happened over the phone.
When she didn’t answer, he sent her a text. They’re letting me go. My mom’s here, she’ll bring me home.
In all the craziness, Bree forgot Robin and Bailey went to see Garrett ahead of her this morning, but she was relieved he got to come home. That had to mean he was better.
Chapter 23
When Garrett finally made it home and to his own bed, he didn’t know how much he missed it. Having Bree home would have made it better. He eased onto the bed when his mom shuffled in behind him, Bailey on her hip.
“Do you need anything?” Robin asked, sitting a wiggly Bailey down beside him.
Garrett scooted back against his headboard, positioning his pillows to prop him up. “Some water, please.”
Bailey crawled across the bed, jabbering, “Daddy, Daddy.”
Garrett glanced at his phone again. The only thing he’d heard from Bree today was how there was more drama with her siblings and she’d tell him more details when she got home later. He hated worrying about it, wondering if Spencer was there or not. Just because Spencer was Parker’s brother by adoption didn’t mean he was there all the time. Besides, Bree made her choice, she was marrying him.
Bailey cuddled up beside Garrett, nestling under his arm. She pulled his hand over her belly like a blanket. “Ahh, Bailey tired.”
He chuckled, “Daddy’s tired, too.”
Even though his mom would gladly take care of Bailey for him, he was relieved Bailey wanted to nap.
****
“Pwetty. Parkels.”
Garrett blinked open his eyes. The bright light streaming in his window told him he hadn’t slept long. Bailey giggled and stood next to the bed, her face by his. Her smile beamed, exposing her bright teeth.
“Daddy, Bailey have parkles.”
“Parkels?” he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
Her little ponytail bounced as she nodded and held up her hand, “Parkles pwetty.” In the middle of her bitty palm was Bree’s ring.
Garrett sat up, maybe a little too fast, his head felt woozy for only a second before he leaned forward. “That’s not Bailey’s sparkles, that’s Mommy’s.”
She tilted her head like a puppy and blinked. Taking a minute before she spoke as if she had to process this. “Mommy’s parkles?”
“Yes, it’s Mommy’s sparkles.” He reached down slowly to take it from her, he didn’t want to make her cry. “Can Daddy have it?”
She stuck her bottom lip out and ran her empty hand back and forth across her stomach. “It Mommy’s.”
“Daddy will give it to Mommy.”
“Give me what?” Bree stood in his door way. Garrett let out a sigh of relief. She was home and he couldn’t be happier to see her knowing they were finally going to be together.
“Mommy parkles,” Bailey pouted.
This wasn’t exactly how Garrett wanted this to go.
“Bailey want parkles.”
“What are parkles?” Bree wrinkled her nose.
“Sparkles,” Garrett nodded toward Bailey’s hand. “She found your ring.”
“You found it?” Bree gushed.
“Bailey, give it to Daddy,” Garrett held his hand out.
“It Mommy’s.”
Garret
t wasn’t going to sit here and argue with his two-year-old. Even though he risked a head ache by making her cry, he swiped it from her before she could drop it again.
Just as he’d thought, Bailey belted out a cry, “Mommy’s.”
“Gare.”
He shrugged. He planned on getting it from Bailey and slipping it right onto Bree’s hand, but with a screaming child in the midst, it wouldn’t make for a good memory.
“Mommy,” Bailey toddled straight toward Bree as if Garrett had just beat her. “Bailey parkles.” Giant tears poured down her pink cheeks.
Bree bent down and picked her up. “You can’t have Mommy’s, it’s too big.”
“Too big?” Bailey sniffled.
“Yeah,” Bree walked over toward Garrett and held out her hand. Though it wasn’t exactly how he planned on doing this, he went with it, he was too sore to get down any further.
“Will you marry me?”
Bree smiled. “Yes.”
He slipped the ring on her finger.
A grin appeared on Bailey’s face as she watched. “Mommy parkles.”
Bree held her hand up to Bailey, showing her the ring. Bailey reached out and touched it. “Mommy parkles.”
“Mommy’s sparkles.”
She lifted her face up toward Bree. “Bailey parkles?”
“Maybe someday we’ll get Bailey sparkles.” Garrett said, leaned up enough to press his lips, first to Bailey’s cheek, then Bree’s lips.
****
It wasn’t the most romantic proposal, but Bree was still swooning from it. She stared at her ring, her hands folded in her lap as the announcements were read at church.
Garrett sat beside her, his arm draped around her shoulders. Before service began, the ladies all came up to her, congratulating her and wanting to see the ring. Things seemed to be going all right as long as she didn’t think about the pregnancy or her siblings. Even though Maggie and Parker seemed to make-up for the sake of Bryson, she was still moving out and Bree didn’t even want to think about that.
When the pastor walked up to the podium, Bree’s mind was everywhere else, thinking of Garrett, of their future together, though she wasn’t sure where they were going to live or what they were going to do with the new baby. The place was already crowded enough as it was. Bree also didn’t want to rely on Garrett’s parents anymore. They had to move.
“When we hide our sins, it only hurts us,” the pastor’s words brought her out of her thoughts.
A lump rose in her throat. She looked down at her stomach. It was like he was reading her mind.
“The Word says if we confess our sins, he is faithful to forgive us,” Pastor Jack began to pace behind the podium. “You see, when we hold it in, it only eats away at us. But if we come clean, if we are transparent, the devil has nothing to hold against us. The Bible compares us to living stones, imagine if you are a stone, a diamond.”
Bree looked down at the ring on her finger.
“What makes a diamond beautiful?” There were several different mumbled answers throughout the congregation. “One thing that makes a diamond beautiful is its sparkle. Why does it sparkle?”
“It reflects light,” someone in the pews said.
“Right, it reflects light. A diamond is graded by its ability to reflect light. It’s called clarity,” he shuffled the notes on his podium.
Bree looked over at Garrett, who looked up at the pastor. She wondered if he was thinking the same as her.
“The clarity of the diamond affects its ability to reflect light. If there is a flaw in it, the flaw will absorb the light instead of reflecting it. That is the same with us. As Christians, we are to reflect the light of the world, Jesus. But when we have sin in our life, it absorbs the light rather than reflect it. I know what you’re thinking, ‘but pastor everybody sins.’ You’re right, but Jesus did die for those sins, so if we confess them, they’re wiped away with His blood.”
Bree’s heart raced. She looked over at Randy and Robin. They watched the pastor with smiles on their faces. Robin looked down every so often to scribble notes into her journal. The pang of guilt that always seemed to be in Bree’s gut grew stronger.
By the time service was over, Bree was ready to run out of the sanctuary. Luckily, she had the excuse of collecting Bailey from the nursery.
“Hey,” Miley said, bouncing a crying Landon on her hip, her ponytail drooping and her shirt twisted.
Bree looked around the disaster that was otherwise known as the nursery.
Bailey dropped the chiming monkey from her hand when she saw Bree. “Mommy.”
Logan was on her tummy, cooing at the mountain of large bright blocks in front of her.
“Rough night?” Bree knelt beside Logan.
“Yeah,” Miley said, kicking toys out of her way before sitting down beside Bree.
Bailey hugged Bree’s side and Bree talked baby talk to Logan, who responded with a gummy smile.
“I don’t know how you do it with two,” Bree said, not wanting to think about how she’d have that soon.
“I just do. Don’t know what it’s like to only have one, so there’s that, I guess.”
Bree lifted Logan to her lap.
“Baby, Mommy, baby,” Bailey pointed at Logan.
“Yes, I have the baby.”
“Mommy parkles,” Bailey hung on Bree’s arm.
“Yes, Mommy sparkles,” Bree held out her hand, balancing Logan on her other arm.
Bailey giggled and pointed at Bree’s ring. “Mommy parkles.”
“Oh, she’s talking about your diamond,” Miley said, rocking Landon in her lap. “She’s been talking about that all night and I had no idea what she was saying.”
“Yeah, she’s been a little obsessed with it,” not that Bree hadn’t been.
“How are you feeling?” Miley tilted her head. “Declan said you got sick the other day.”
Bree looked down at Logan and adjusted the lacy headband across her bald head. Miley loved all things girly and, Bree knew, was anxious to start putting Logan’s hair up in bows and pigtails.
“I don’t know if it’s all morning sickness or some of it guilt.” Bree began rocking Logan when she whimpered, “I’m scared Robin and Randy will hate me.”
“They won’t hate you. They might be a little disappointed, in Garrett more than you, but they’ll get over it. You know, in the end, it’s about Bailey and the baby.”
Bree hugged Logan against her. It would be weird having one this little again, though Bree did kind of miss Bailey when she was this size.
“We can’t all fit in that house and with Garrett and I both going to school, we don’t have time to work so we can afford an apartment.”
“God will make a way,” Miley said, staring down at Landon, finally asleep after his meltdown.
“Will He? Because why do I get favors from Him? I did this when I wasn’t supposed to.”
“First of all, you weren’t the only one who did it. I’m pretty sure Garrett was there, too. Second,” She looked over at Bailey, who was stacking the blocks and talking to herself, “You sinned when it came to Bailey and God still worked things out for you. I’m not saying it’ll be perfect, nothing is, but I do know things aren’t going to be as bad as you think they are.”
“I just feel like such a failure, like maybe what my parents think about me is right and I’m fooling myself to try to be anything else.” Bree watched Bailey as she knocked over the blocks she’d stacked and giggled. Logan began to fuss and she pulled her up to her shoulder, patting her back.
“You are not a failure. You and Garrett are making things right. We all stumble, we all fall, and the important thing is, we get back up.”
Bree was trying to get back up, she just wasn’t sure she could until the secret was out. It scared her to think about telling Robin and Randy, but at the same time, she knew she needed to get it out and get it over with.
“Need help?” Declan strolled in.
Miley nodded as she stood a
nd placed Landon in the crib, “Church always wears him out.”
“How are you, Bree?” Declan started tossing the toys in the toy bin.
“Good.” Though she wasn’t anywhere near good and she was sure he knew that.
Bailey copied her uncle, tossing toys in the bin and chattering. Balancing Logan in one arm, Bree helped with cleanup, too, though all she could think about was that dread in the pit of her stomach, something that she knew wouldn’t go away until she told them.
Before the Lights, when she had a dad who didn’t let her do anything and paid no attention to her, it was easy keeping secrets. But now, it was more than just a fear of getting in trouble or being grounded, now she didn’t want to disappoint or hurt the ones that have been there for her.
“You ready?” Garrett peeked his head in the door.
Bree looked back at Miley. The toys were cleared. “You need anything else?”
“No, we’re good, thanks.”
“Daddy,” Bailey shuffled to Garrett.
Bree was quiet as she followed Garrett to the car, Bailey perched on his hip. He buckled Bailey in her seat and Bree slipped into the front. Bailey jabbered on about the babies and Aunt Miley when Garrett slid in beside Bree, chiming in with the occasional, ‘really,’ as Bailey talked.
Bree stared at Garrett, her heart thumping in her chest.
He turned the engine on, then looked her way. “You okay?”
“We have to tell them.”
Garrett’s chest rose and fell. “I know.”
“Tonight. As soon as we get home.”
“Okay.” His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel.
“Are you mad?” She wondered if he was even in the same service she was.
“No,” his shoulders stiffened.
“It’s not like we can hide this forever.”
“I know.”
Chapter 24
Garrett knew that Bree was right in wanting to tell. That didn’t make this any easier. Under the table, with his parents sitting across from him, his knee bounced and he tapped the wooden surface. Having Bree at his side this time didn’t make it much easier. When he sat here three years ago, his parents didn’t even know who Bree was.