by Laci Paige
The next day they avoided each other except to eat, and even then the conversation lacked depth. “I’m doing much better, the headache is hardly an issue, and my eye is no longer swollen. The bruising will take some time to go away. But I’m good. I know you have a life to get back to. I don’t think you need to be here anymore.” Roxi swirled spaghetti on her fork not making eye contact with Jonathan, but not eating it either.
“A life?” he asked.
“Your girlfriend, what’s her name? Linda? The one that called yesterday.” She put the fork to her mouth and took a bite.
“She isn’t my girlfriend.” His eyebrows pulled together. “Don’t you remember her? Linda? From the plane?”
Roxi chewed and swallowed her food, trying to remember anyone by the name of Linda. “No, should I?”
“Well, yeah. She was a flight attendant on our flight. Remember I told you?” Jonathan wasn’t eating, he watched her.
“No. I don’t remember, but she must be good looking since you exchanged phone numbers.” Her voice expressed a teasing disapproval.
“She’s all right.” His grin probably betrayed him, so he said nothing more.
The grin left his face, and conversation abruptly ended when Jonathan left the table without finishing his meal. He paced the room for a moment and then headed out of her apartment. Unsure of what just happened she sat in disbelief. What had she done or said to chase him off like that?
An hour went by and she cleaned up from dinner then planned on watching television until Jonathan returned. Assuming he would. Staring at the screen, not really watching or hearing it, she picked up the remote and turned it off. She decided to go look for him.
Opening the door to her apartment she could hear a noise coming from across the hall, but Jake and Kristy hadn’t returned yet. It came from Jake’s special room, his kinky playroom of sorts. It doubled as his private gym and he equipped it with exercise machines rigged with bondage implements. Quietly pushing the door open an inch more so she could peek in, her breath caught in her throat.
Jonathan, wearing only his jeans and looking as sexy as he was dangerous, threw a bullwhip toward a punching bag. He looked torn, furious, and gorgeous all at the same time. His hand wrapped around the thick handle as he moved with a grace only he could possess. She watched mesmerized as the two bellied-braid of the leather thong snaked back and forth through the air looking for purchase. She jumped unexpectedly as the nylon popper made a cracking sound that she knew all too well.
Jonathan’s body looked firmer and his muscles more defined than she’d ever seen before. He planted his bare feet on the floor, bending at the knees. Throwing the whip forward, from the bottom of his soles following through with his whole body, he made the bullwhip look like an extension of himself. The repetitive popping noises made her remember a time that she tried to block from her memories, but the invisible burn of her scars wouldn’t allow it.
The most painful of the memories to become clearer in her mind was the day she decided to leave Jonathan. The first day he used a whip on her. A shiver ran down her spine, her heart rate increased, and her breathing came quicker. She wasn’t afraid, not at all. In fact, quite the opposite, she was turned on, and that’s what scared her into leaving him in the first place. She never told anyone of this, and kept it bottled up inside of her all this time. Even Jonathan didn’t know.
Her body hummed with anticipation watching the whip flow through the air. Each time it hit the target her body zinged, practically crying out for the burning sting she could imagine it leaving behind.
Jonathan needed to know the truth. He was unattached, worked the whip like a pro, and he was there for her. Each resounding crack called to her. She needed it badly, and needed it now. What she never got the chance to tell Jonathan in words, she’d gratefully show him now.
Roxi disrobed in the hall and slipped into the playroom undetected. Kneeling in submission at the door, she waited. The cracking sounds went quiet and she heard Jonathan breathing heavily from across the room. She heard movement, but refused to look.
“What the fuck?” His bare feet appeared in her vision. “Roxi get up!”
“Permission to speak, Sir.”
“Roxi we aren’t playing.”
She lifted her head slightly and looked at him through her lashes. “I need this, I want this.” Her voice waivered almost into sobs as her body uncontrollably shook like a junkie needing a fix.
His mouth popped open and he gapped at her. “What are you saying Roxi?” He knelt as tears formed in her eyes. He placed his hand on her cheek. “Talk to me.”
“There’s something I should’ve told you a long time ago.” She sniffled.
“Come, put your things on. You must be cold.” Her skin rose in chill bumps and her hairs stood upright.
He reached down for her, offering a hand to help her up. She hesitated, not wanting to leave the playroom, or the whip. She shook her head lowering her gaze toward his feet.
“Rox.” His tone deepened in a threatening manner.
She remained kneeling in his favorite position with her hands behind her back and her breasts jutting out as far as she could get them.
Angel!” He bellowed. “Stand.” No more Mister Nice Guy. Master Jonathan showed face and by the sounds of it, he was pissed. “Get up now or I’ll punish you, and it’s not the kind of punishment you want either.”
Hearing her pet name, she responded and got to her feet keeping her head down respectfully.
“Come!” He grabbed her by the crook of her arm and led her to the apartment only stopping to gather her clothing off the hallway floor.
At the couch he told her to sit. She did so willingly. Keeping in sub mode she didn’t look at him, but he wasn’t sitting with her, either. She could see his legs walking past pacing back and forth in front of her. She would not speak unless told to. She waited.
When his feet stopped moving, he finally spoke. “You have to explain this to me. I really can’t make sense of your behavior. What’s gotten into you? Is it the injury to your head?”
“Master, I have much to tell you. I don’t know where to start.”
“First, you can stop with the Master business. I haven’t been your Master for some time. Second, put your clothes on. Now.”
She didn’t move. She couldn’t move. “I—I can’t.” She began sobbing. “I need to be disciplined first. Please?” As she raised her head and locked eyes with him, the anger etched on his face receded into concern.
He moved and knelt in front of her, taking her hands. “Roxi, honey? Is it that bad? Do you really need this?” He ran his thumbs over her soft knuckles.
She couldn’t speak so she just nodded her head slowly.
“Fuck,” he breathed.
He stood and paced some more. “You’re still not healed. Your injury…I don’t want to cause you more harm. I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Can—can you call someone else then?” Her voice came out small, but if he couldn’t help her obtain the level of pain she needed, she wanted to find someone who could.
She fucked up with Jonathan, he was upset with her, and she felt the need for discipline to right her world. She’d gone about things the wrong way, and should have sat down and spoken to him like she intended to on the plane. Knowing Jonathan like she did, Roxi could see he was at odds with himself. Another reason she should be punished.
Stopping his movement again, he went to her and scooped her up onto his lap, cradling her. “No. I will not call anyone else. If anyone is going to do this, it’s going to be me.” With one fluid motion he flipped her over his knee.
He moved his hand over the swell of her bare exposed ass. Her body responded with a quick shudder up her spine. “Please, Jonathan. Please?” she begged, sounding urgent and needy.
Jonathan didn’t bother with warming up her bottom to prepare it for a spanking, the least harmful punishment he could dish out in her condition, and he didn’t plan to spank her too hard.
Hell, he wasn’t even sure what she needed to be disciplined for, but she begged. He knew her tolerance level for pain, but looking at the scars on her back, he realized he didn’t know the half of it. Raising his hand high he lowered it in a hard slap that echoed throughout the room.
“Yes!” she cried.
“Twenty. That’s all you’re getting until we discuss this further, Angel.”
“Yes, Sir.” She quickly agreed.
Smack! Smack! Smack! The last few were the hardest, hard enough to leave her cheeks a nice rosy pink. Moans full of pleasure and relief sounded in his ears. He sat her up and pulled her close to his body, holding her tightly. He whispered in her ear, “Are you all right, my Angel?”
“Yes, thank you, Sir.” She kissed his cheek, and nuzzled against his chest.
After sitting for a while, he stroked her hair. “Roxi? Are you ready to talk?”
“I am.” She stood, walked to the bedroom, and headed straight to the bathroom. He followed and waited for her on the bed. When she came back into the room, she wore a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He felt relieved over the fact that she looked somewhat better.
He lay on his side, and patted the bed. “Come lay with me.” It wasn’t an order, just a suggestion.
She slid onto the bed and slowly lowered herself next to him. Facing each other they shared a tender moment where they gazed lovingly at one another, but it ended when Roxi’s voice broke through the silence. “I’m a pain slut, Jonathan.”
He didn’t speak for a brief moment, and then he glanced away briefly. “I saw your back, your scars.”
“It’s why I left you that day. You didn’t scare me with the whipping during our last scene. We both agreed to it, it was completely consensual, and I knew that you loved me and wouldn’t harm me.” She sighed.
“I wish we never would’ve tried that. I’m sorry.” He wanted to reach out and touch her, but she finally began opening up, almost a year and half later, and he didn’t want to break the spell.
“I’m not sorry. I enjoyed it, loved every minute of it, even. It was the biggest orgasm I’d ever had without any other stimulation, and that’s what scared me.” She lowered her gaze. “It was so powerful and I knew in that moment that I needed more than you could provide me with, because I wanted more, I wanted it harder. So I left. That’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, Jonathan. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I did it to protect you—from me.” Her eyes watered over.
Lifting her chin gently with his fingertips, he shook his head. “You should have told me. We could’ve worked through it. I would have done anything for you.”
“Would have? You mean you wouldn’t…” She trailed off and shook her head. “Never mind, I ran because those feelings were embarrassing. Confused as to why I had them. I knew you weren’t comfortable whipping me in the first place.” When Jonathan didn’t respond she continued. “Remember? It took forever to talk you into trying it. I don’t regret it one bit. I’d do it again in a heartbeat, especially now seeing how well you wield a whip.”
More silence went by, she wanted to express more to him, and help him to understand her motives. “Watching you in the playroom, God that was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, and I couldn’t help it. Seeing you like that, it drudged up dormant feelings, and I needed release. Thank you.” Roxi tucked a strand of her shoulder length brown hair behind her ear, and a tear slid from her lower lid down her cheek. She sniffled and wiped it away with the back of her hand.
“Anything for you Roxi, you know that.” He trailed his fingers down her arm and locked fingers with her.
Ripping her fingers from his, she said, “Do I? Do I know that? We haven’t had a civil conversation since I’ve been back. Every time we try, it ends up being an argument ending with animalistic sex. I really don’t know a damn thing about how you feel for me, or how far you’d go for me.”
Trying not to feel the hurt that started working up inside of him, he sighed. “I’m here now, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, about that, I think it’s out of guilt that you’re here and nothing more.” Hearing her tone he knew a fight was brewing, and the remainder of her tears released. He knew what would be next by the way her eyebrows pulled together.
“Roxi. Shhhh.” He pressed a finger to her lips knowing she would argue with what he was about to say. “Just kiss me, Angel.” She didn’t move, and the look she gave him said he was crazy. But when he moved in to kiss her on the lips, she didn’t pull away. When he used her pet name she behaved like a good little sub.
The kisses grew harder, deeper, and wetter. His dick sprang to life and she rubbed against his hardness, and that’s when he pulled back. “Let’s take this slow. I want you, but you’re still injured. When you’re well again, I want to make love to you slowly and carefully. Don’t argue me about it. I won’t change my mind.” He stroked her skin up the length of her arm.
She drew in a deep breath, exhaled, and rolled over. “Good night, Sir.”
He slid over and spooned her from behind. Kissing the back of her head, he said, “Good night, Angel.”
***
When Roxi woke, a bright light shone in from a crack in the curtains, and the bed next to her was empty. She smelled coffee. Heading out to the kitchen, she saw Jonathan reading the newspaper in the living room. Taking up residence in front of him, she sat on the edge of the coffee table. “About last night, I’m sorry I behaved the way I did. Now, in the morning’s light, I know I acted without thinking, it was stupid of me.”
He folded the newspaper and set it on the couch beside him. With a blank look on his face, he gave her a curt nod. “It’s okay, I understand.”
“You do?” Her voice sounded in a surprised tone.
“You have needs, and I get that.” He smiled at her and she found herself smiling back. “But, I want to be your Dom of choice when those needs arise again. I will not be your Master though. That ship has sailed.”
Even though that last part stung and she wanted him to be her Master, she knew he was taking a big step with his offer. She was elated that he wanted to dominate her, so she’d find a way to be happy with just that. “Jonathan I would love that, but you have to understand something. I’ve changed. I’ve embraced what I am, and I don’t think you have.”
“You mean the pain slut part of it?” Pushing to the edge of the couch he rested his elbows on his thighs. “I can deal.”
She rose and shifted from foot to foot in a rocking motion. “I don’t understand. You were so against using the whip on me.”
“During our last scene together before you left me, I saw desire in your eyes when you asked me to whip you. Your face, body, and soul cried out to me during our play session. I knew in that moment you truly enjoyed the pain. I never said anything to anyone about it. That’s your decision to make if you want people to know.” He pulled her onto his lap. “I took classes on how to administer pain in a safe way, and how to throw a bullwhip. I did that for you in the hopes you’d be back, but by month three when you hadn’t returned or contacted me, I pretty much lost hope of ever seeing you again. I did so well at throwing that my instructors encouraged me to learn more and enter contests. I did that for a while and then lost interest. My heart wasn’t into it.” Depositing her on the couch next to him, he stood and shoved his hands into his pockets looking a bit distressed.
“Why? What happened?” She searched his eyes trying to read his mood.
“You left me, and when you did, you took my heart with you.” He looked away from her.
Roxi gasped and her chest tightened in response to his words. Jonathan took hold of her arm and pulled her up and close to him. “It’s all right. I’m okay now. I’ve moved on, as did you.” He wrapped his arm around her back, and pressed his fingers against her scars as if she needed reminding. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She sighed heavily and leaned deeper into his chest while he played with her hair, twisting and winding it around his fingers. “When I left I went to
New York City. I never told anyone where I went. I didn’t want anyone to come looking for me while I was trying to find myself.”
“Did you?” He looked down at her face.
She scrunched her forehead. “Did I what?”
“Find yourself?”
Roxi closed her eyes tightly. “No. I felt even more lost. I ended up with a sadist who I connected with, but it wasn’t what I wanted. It really wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I got lucky I didn’t land in a bad situation. My mind probably wouldn’t have known the difference, I was so messed up.”
“Oh, Rox. I’m so sorry, honey.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and held her firmly.
“Don’t be. I loved the way my Master treated me, and I kept going back for more until he invited me to live with him permanently. That’s when I knew if I did, I’d be lost forever. So I came back here. I don’t know, I think I’m wired wrong or something, Jonathan.” She played with a tear in the knee of her sweatpants, running her finger along the hole. “I came back here because I didn’t know where else to go.”
“You came to the right place. I’ll help you, but not until you are healed properly.” He squatted in front of her and ran his finger gently over her bruise. “We do this on my terms, and we can’t let feelings get in the way.”
She wanted more pain than he could dish out, and that was something she wasn’t sure he could pull off. A jingle played from across the room distracting her from her thoughts. “Oh, that must be Linda. You should get it, or I’ll get it for you.” Roxi tried to pull away from him to retrieve his cell phone, but he held her in place to prevent her from rising.
“No.” He placed his palm on her shoulder. “Let it go to voicemail.”
He looked sad, or at least that’s what she thought. Probably because he was stuck there taking care of her. She noted the few times they’d spoken of Linda that his eyes lit up and he smiled genuinely. Wanting to cash in on that contentment, she decided to plan a surprise for Jonathan.