When Victoria first discovered that she was pregnant, she’d dreamed of Ryan proposing to her. Young and naive, she’d actually believed that they could make a marriage work, even if it meant waiting until they were eighteen. She’d mapped it out in her mind, how they could live with their parents and raise the baby between both households. Then, once they were married, Ryan could get a loan for college and secure their future.
But he didn’t propose, and she didn’t tell him about her marriage dreams. She’d never told him that she loved him, either. After they’d agreed to give up the baby, her only consolation was that he’d promised to be there when their daughter was born.
And the rest, as the saying went, was history.
Before her thoughts drove her into a deeper sense of painful distraction, she finished her coffee and went into the bathroom to take a long, invigorating shower.
By the time she emerged, her skin was flushed and her hair was damp and starting to misbehave. She put on a robe and plugged in the blow-dryer and flatiron, preparing to use both devices. Once she tamed her curls, she applied makeup and got dressed.
Ready to greet the afternoon and see her daughter, she drove to the sushi bar they favored.
Victoria arrived first and sat in the cramped waiting area. About five minutes later, Kaley walked in wearing denim shorts, a pastel-printed T and rhinestone flip-flops. Her hair streamed down her back, and with her golden tan and welcoming smile, she was a lovely sight to behold.
As they embraced, the teenager said, “Hey, Victoria.”
She didn’t expect Kaley to call her Mom, but on occasion Kaley referred to her as mi otra madre, which meant “my other mother” in Spanish. It was a reference that made Victoria feel like the most privileged woman on earth.
A hostess seated them, and they sat across from each other at a small table near the window. Water was delivered, and they studied their menus, energy buzzing between them.
“How did it go?” Kaley eagerly asked.
Such a loaded question, Victoria thought, but she did her best to respond in a positive way. “Ryan is anxious to meet you.”
“I’m excited about meeting him, too.” The child she’d conceived with him leaned closer. “What’s he like?”
“He looks different” was all she could seem to manage. Strong and handsome in a way she hadn’t imagined. When she saw that Kaley was waiting for a more in-depth response, she quickly added, “He seems successful.” But she’d always believed that he would make a good vet. “He has a nice country home and a couple of cute dogs. But most importantly, he’s receptive to having you in his life.”
“So what happens now? Is he going to call me? Am I supposed to call him?”
Okay, Victoria thought. Here goes. “I offered to call him after you and I talked. He wants you to stay at his house for a week or so. He also invited me to come with you.” She paused to collect herself. “But he’ll come here if you’d prefer not to go there.”
“Oh, wow. Really?” Kaley reached for her water, and the ice clinked in her half-tipped glass. “I’d probably get to know him better if I went there. Don’t you think?”
She wanted to discourage her daughter from making the trip, but sitting here gazing at the girl’s wistful expression, she couldn’t do it. “It’s your choice. He’s your…” She couldn’t bring herself to say “father” or “birth father” or anything that identified him as family, so she let the sentence drift.
“Are you willing to go with me? Or is that totally out of the question?”
Victoria’s heartbeat accelerated. “Is that what you want?”
“Are you kidding? I’d be really nervous without you. Besides, I know Dad would feel better if you were there.”
The dad she spoke of was Eric, the man who’d shaped her into the amazing young woman she’d become. Victoria would be forever grateful to him. “You’re right. He would worry otherwise. And so would I.” Expecting Kaley to visit with Ryan for the first time by herself wasn’t in the girl’s best interest. “I’ll go with you.”
The teenager fanned herself. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
Neither could Victoria. She felt as if she were having an out-of-body experience. If someone would’ve told her that someday she would be sleeping under Ryan’s roof with their grown child in tow, she would have deemed that person crazy. Plus Kaley didn’t know that Victoria had loved Ryan. No one did.
She looked across the table at her daughter. Every excruciating detail of the day Kaley was born was still imbedded in her mind. While she’d held the swaddled infant, she’d waited desperately for Ryan to show up. She’d also glanced endlessly at her parents, begging them to ask the representative from the adoption agency for more time. But eventually the extra time ran out. The most painful moment was right before they’d taken Kaley away. She’d clutched the baby close to her chest, wishing she could nurse her, wishing she could take her home, with or without Ryan. It was the worst day of her life.
But now she had her daughter back. Kaley meant the world to her, and if making peace with Ryan was part of the deal, then that was what she would do.
Even if being in his company still made her hurt.
ISBN: 9781460318430
Copyright (c) 2013 by Brenda Harlen
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