Hidden Love (Derrien Island Trilogy)

by Thorpe, Simmone

  “I don’t know how we could have approached us differently back then either, we were just both so angry!” she continued.

  Darius raised his head slowly finally allowing Candasee to see his eyes now filled with his own tears.

  “We have a chance to approach things differently now, Candee! We can talk this out! I have always loved to see you dance but I had this irrational fear with it that we would become a dysfunctional marriage and I would become unsuccessful and a louse just like my drunken father. I felt like I was betraying my mother’s trust just like he did with her. It was crazy then and I am asking you to forgive me Candasee, please forgive me!” he asked with a ragged voice. It was never you!” he said.

  “Why didn’t you call me or try to tell me this sooner? Why did you have to wait until I am involved with someone else and everything is so complicated now?” exclaimed Candasee.

  “I have been turning this over in my mind for a while now. But I just didn’t know how to say I wrecked our marriage because of a childhood fear. I felt you wouldn’t take me seriously and I didn’t think I deserved you frankly. But I missed you more and more and my work did nothing to fill the gaping hole in my world,” he said.

  “All this time, I was working at convincing myself that you forgot your roots and that you were a liar who manipulated me into marrying you and now that I am wrong about that I don’t know where that leaves me. I feel as though I am in limbo! What am I supposed to do now, just pretend that the last two years never happened and uproot my new life and come back to Derrien Island?” she asked incredulously.

  “I know that I should have told you something sooner and it is presumptuous of me to assume that everything could just go back to how it was between us. But can you blame me for at least hoping it could especially now I know how you feel about me still?”

  “We can’t just erase the past like that Darius! We’ve both moved on and other people are involved now!”

  I know it’s messy but life is not always clear-cut Candasee. I had finally decided to come to you pretending it was just about surprising you for your birthday! But God brought you to me instead! Not even I could have planned this so perfectly. Haven’t you asked yourself why out of all the hotel’s Solange chose mine and that I also needed what your academy had to offer at the last minute. This is some kind of divine intervention working with us Candasee, can’t you see it?” he asked.

  “Aren’t you forgetting something here about Solange and the fact that we both have moved on?” she repeated.

  “We?” he asked quizzically.

  “I saw Solange kiss you that night, so it is obvious that you have someone new in your life as well!” said Candasee, allowing herself to once again feel the pang of jealousy she experienced that night on the walkway.

  “Exactly that, you saw her kiss me but I never returned the kiss. I don’t know what came over her to act in that way! In fact, I told her I couldn’t see her that night. Solange and I are just friends! Sometimes when I needed a date to a business event I would take her with me, but that is all. If something was going on between Solange and me why have I been pursuing you? She’s not the one here with me tonight!”

  “You know I came for Marianne so you were free to bring a date!” she insisted stubbornly.

  “There is nothing free about my heart when it comes to you Candee and there hasn’t been anyone that I’ve fallen in love with since we separated and that’s the truth,” said Darius earnestly.

  Bristling at the cool implication behind his words about her own relationship with Nathan she got up from the floor and sat on the lounge again.

  “Well, obviously you have been leading her on because she seems to be in love with you! Nathan said you asked her come and meet you last night! The same night you wanted to see me. I thought you were playing some kind of game.”

  “Nathan? What the hell does he know about my life? I did not meet anyone yesterday. I spent the evening waiting in vain for you to show up, alone in my suite,” said Darius feeling about ready to explode. When have you known me to be the game playing type Candasee? Look I can’t control who loves me Candasee, or who wants to spread vicious rumours about me either, all I know is that I love you and I want you, I want us and the life and family we had. I want to have that family we were planning for! Don’t you remember any of that?”

  Candasee recalled how they both wanted to have two children and were planning to start their family just before they began fighting. Having Darius’ children would have been a dream come true back then.

  “Darius, this is all really hard for me to process and digest right now. I can understand why you did what you did and I want to forgive you. I can’t hold something like that against you all my life. I just wish you had told me this sooner when I could have made a clear and fair decision!” she said rising to her feet and walking over to a window. “My life literally feels as though it is falling apart all around me!”

  “This morning you told me that you thought you were falling in love with Nathan, have you?” asked Darius, holding his breath unwilling to accept her answer should it be yes.

  Candasee considered her words carefully before replying as thoughts of her current boyfriend came to mind and also how wounded he was when she left him earlier that evening. She wasn’t sure about being in love, but in her own way she did care about Nathan a lot.

  “Yes, I do love Nathan and I don’t want to hurt him! He is unique, loving, thoughtful, passionate, a good listener, a talented artiste and businessman. He loves me and he wants the best for me,” she said finally.

  Darius winced inwardly hearing Candasee speak so openly of another man’s qualities especially when it was so clear that he wanted it to be him she was describing.

  “Do you still feel anything for me? Do you love me Candasee?”

  Her entire life was now in a giant tailspin facing the reality that she’d allowed herself to love two men who were as different as night and day. She could finally admit it to herself, yes she still loved Darius. In fact, she probably always would.

  Darius stood and followed Candasee over to the window where she stood and turned her around to face him.

  “Do you? All I’m asking for is a chance for you to consider me worthy of your heart again!” he said.

  “Darius, yes I still love you and that fact is something I could never understand...how you could get so far under my skin that I ...”

  She never got a chance to finish her words before Darius claimed her mouth as his own. That was all he needed to hear! Drawing her lower lip deeply into his own mouth he teased her lips in the way only he knew how. After years of making love to this woman he knew exactly what drove her crazy and what stoked the flames of desire in her in seconds! He cupped her face below her jaw line to pull her closer as he tasted and relished the softness of her mouth.

  Taken by surprise, Candasee fell back against the wall behind her and Darius pressed in close and cupped her round, firm bottom in his large hands and pulled her against him until she could not miss the degree of his arousal.

  Her eyes fluttered open and her body shuddered and trembled as though memories were being awakened out of every cell she had in her body. This connection, this sense of being magnetized to Darius was still as strong now as the day they’d first met and they could never get enough of each other. And now as he tasted every part of her mouth and she in turn responded to him, it was a sense of coming home or returning to love that she was experiencing here with him.

  His hot hands were now running down her shoulders and he pulled on the thin straps of her dress and lowered them exposing her body to his hungry gaze. The nature of this dress meant no bra support, but she with her toned muscled body wore it well.

  Candasee wasn’t sure if it was the cool air flowing into the room or if it was the wave of desire that flooded her body at that moment which caused her nipples to tighten in sweet anticipation but more than anything she wished Darius would stop staring and put her out of her tortur
e. She felt her body begin to arch in invitation and Darius was about to push her dress all the way off her body when Candasee restrained his hands.

  “God, Candasee you are even more beautiful than I remembered,” said Darius heatedly.

  “Darius, I can’t do this! I can’t do this to Nathan!” she said with much difficulty. Being under Darius’ gaze was always akin to her sensing that her body was about to go up in flames. Between her thighs an incredible ache had begun to spread its way up into her abdomen. She wanted what he wanted, but her ethical nature was struggling to the surface.

  Those were not the words Darius wanted to hear at all, especially now that more than anything he wanted to remind Candasee why they fit together and why not even Nathan would be able to compare.

  “Candasee, to me you are still my wife and hearing you mention”, he took a deep breath, “that man’s name over and over is getting pretty hard to take even for a man like me!”

  “But that is it Darius, I’m not your wife and you have to stop calling me that in front of Nathan!”

  “So what I said and the way we feel about each other still, means nothing to you?” asked Darius. “Do you love this man that much to walk away from me and from us again?”

  Candasee knew her words were hurting Darius but making love to him like this would be a mistake. She had to think this all through carefully first. This time simply following her emotions without first clearing up the grey areas would be a mistake.

  “Darius, this isn’t fair, I need the time to think about what I am doing! This is all happening so fast!”

  “Candee, I know we are divorced on paper but feel this energy between us and you know there are things not even ink can erase!” he replied.

  There was no point denying what he said because even though their bodies were slightly separated, a strong current was still pulsing between them making it hard to concentrate even then on her decision. She’d never even felt this degree of connectedness with Nathan, not even close. But sexual attraction was not enough to build a relationship. Both people needed to be able to be completely open and authentic with the other. Could she really open up to Darius as she did before? How did she know that something else she did wouldn’t trigger another problem between them in the future? Darius had the power like no other to reduce her to a quivering mess of tears and depression and she was not prepared to accept that fate again. How could she, when it almost destroyed her the first time?

  “Let’s reconnect our marriage Candee,” said Darius insistently stroking a finger down her neck and between her luscious cleavage before capturing her still exposed breasts in his palms. He leaned down and captured her in his mouth, taking the time to savour the silky smoothness of her skin. Her answering cry of pleasure drove him on as he slowly teased and nipped at her without mercy. Her breaths were coming in deep pants now as she held onto his head and shoulders. Every time his tongue swept and circled around her sensitive peaks it felt as though he was writing his name on her body and on her soul. He was staking a claim to her again and he wasn’t asking her permission. Her limbs felt as though they were dissolving at the intolerable pleasure Darius was inflicting on her. Sensual waves of ecstasy were flowing from her breasts to her core and as her passion reached its peak ripples of pleasure erupted within her and she cried out without inhibition.

  He’d pushed her over the edge just by tasting her breasts. She could not believe it! Her entire body ached to know more and to feel all of him pressed deeply against her and inside of her again.

  “Candasee, I love you!” Darius whispered against her neck as he pulled her close against him and held her trembling frame. She felt so tongue-tied that she couldn’t even speak. Pulsating waves of pleasure were still rolling throughout her body filling her with warmth and a desire to be closer to Darius.

  She felt so good in his arms and now that the taste of her was firmly imprinted on his tongue, he never wanted to taste anyone else again. She was still his, whether she was willing to acknowledge that right now. He was so aroused that it hurt but he would restrain himself until later. Taking her against the wall in this room would have probably satisfied them both in the moment, but he did not want their first time together in two years to be like that. He’d prepared a romantic evening for both of them that he knew she would enjoy if she would let herself do so.

  As Candasee’s eyes opened and she was able to refocus her thoughts again, she glanced at the clock on the wall. Just how long had she been in this room with Darius? It was almost two in the morning. Marianne and Francis must be out there waiting for them to come out to go home at this incredibly late hour. Not to mention Nathan back at the hotel. He must be wondering where she was as well.

  “Oh my God Darius, what am I doing?” Candasee asked, stepping out of his embrace, holding her head in her hands. “Nathan must be back at the hotel going crazy and here I am wanting to make love with you! Who am I? I was never this loose before! I told him he could trust me tonight and here I am struggling to honour that!”

  “Candee you aren’t being loose now and we haven’t done anything wrong here. Stop fighting against yourself! Both you and I can see that this is right for us and it is real. The problem is that you are allowing your mind to get in the way! Stop hiding behind Nathan and this relationship of yours!”

  “My mind is not getting in that way, it’s helping me to focus. I can’t just go around following my heart or my body! Doing that is exactly what get’s people hurt.”

  “Listening to your heart is the only thing that makes sense here. I am not afraid to say that mine is telling me something very clearly and now that I know it; I won’t rest until you and I are one again!” swore Darius.

  “I have a boyfriend, and that complicates everything!”

  “You had a boyfriend Candee! How long have you known him in this way? A few months maybe? He will get over this!”

  “No you don’t understand! His brother was hurt recently by his girlfriend betraying him and running off with another man! He was deeply affected by it because his brother almost committed suicide! I am afraid of what this might do to him.”

  “So am I to base whether we get back together on if Nathan will do something crazy? You know that I can provide you with bodyguards or whatever you need to feel safe!”

  “No, I want to deal with this my way! Your mom was right; I need to think this through very carefully!”

  Candee you are standing here with your dress around your waist and you are so at ease with me that you don’t even have any inhibitions. I know that deep down you trust me and you love me. What we just shared just now was so supercharged and you need to think?”

  Candasee looked down then at her partial state of undress and realized he was right! Before, she could redress herself, he took the straps himself and held them open so that she could thread her arms into the dress again before pulling the bodice up and onto her shoulders.

  Darius reached into his pants pocket with his right hand and touched the black velvet box inside that held an engagement ring that he’d wanted to present to Candasee before they got back to Derrien Island. Perhaps it was too soon, but she had to know that he was playing for a permanent place in her life.

  “Let me sleep on all of this tonight but I will need to talk to Nathan first before I decide on anything! I at least owe him that.”

  “We aren’t returning to the hotel tonight! said Darius calmly.

  “What do you mean?”

  “All of the choppers would be gone by now with the guests. The house should be empty except for the kitchen staff.”

  “So let’s drive back then!”

  “Candasee, I know you are going to be mad at me but hear me out. We are not even on Derrien Island right now and unless you have a hovercraft we are stuck here for the night!”

  Candasee’s eyes widened as she considered what she was hearing carefully.

  “We aren’t in the Northern range? Where are we Darius? Just call one of the choppers then!�
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  “I guess you missed it all when you were flying with your eyes closed all the way here. We are on Krispin, my friend and business partner’s private island. It is about fifteen minutes to the west of Derrien Island! My mother thought it would be a unique way to celebrate her engagement seeing that it was travel that brought her and Francis together in the first instance.”

  Candasee was speechless!

  “So how are we going to get back? I have the intensive later today and the performance in the evening or have you forgotten the travel show! Nathan is going to be more than upset when I don’t come back tonight!”

  “Candasee, why are you even working for that guy? You don’t even need to work for anyone. Does he even know how wealthy you really are? You should have your own studio by now. I made sure that you had more than enough in the divorce settlement,” expressed Darius throwing his hands in the air and pacing now in front of her.

  “And I probably would have too if you hadn’t crushed my spirit Darius!” she said quietly.

  After hearing her pained words, Darius regarded her silently before walking away from her and sitting on the couch once again. Neither said anything for a few minutes and finally Darius spoke, with his voice now less enthusiastic than before.

  “My yacht is moored in the bay and my captain will fly out in the morning to sail us back. I just wanted us to have this time away with you without the possibility of any interference from anyone!”

  “You could have said something to me!” challenged Candasee angrily.