Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1)

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Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1) Page 18

by Ali Parker


  From the office window I watched Sarah in the garden. She was bent over picking vegetables and now and then I’d see her hesitate as if looking for snakes. I hoped she wouldn’t come across another one, though I noticed she kept her wagon back at a safe distance and the hoe lain across it within reach. She wore a long sundress that blew in the breeze and, with her hair tied back revealing her soft shoulders, she was beautiful. I hardened thinking about how I’d love to take her there. Lean her against the fence post and hike up that skirt.

  “Shit, here he comes.” Ted’s voice jerked me out of my fantasy and I saw Dad coming out of the house headed our way.

  I hadn’t talked to him much since Sarah spoke her peace, and I was hesitant to even mention computers knowing he was going to squash the idea like a bug. I wondered if Ted and I together could manage to convince him or if the topic would just piss him off more.

  Dad entered the office, whistling, and he seemed like he felt much better. His face had more color and the dark circles were missing from under his eyes. “Mornin’ boys.” He took a chair and turned it to face us before sitting. Then he glanced back and forth between the two of us. “So, you boys got something on your mind?”

  Ted and I exchanged a glance and then I shifted nervously in my seat. I hated how the man could still make me feel three years old, and I was almost certain Ted felt the same.

  Ted cleared his throat. “As a matter of fact, we do.” He glanced to me like I was supposed to take over.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and rested my hands behind my head to appear relaxed. “We know how you feel about running the business the way your daddy did it, and that the system was good enough for him and it’s good enough for you, but it isn’t good enough for us.” Dad lifted his chin and looked down his nose as I continued. “If we’re going to take over the ranch and start to handle more of the business as you grow older, then we feel we need to get a couple of computers in here.” He stared blankly. “We also feel like having cell phones would greatly improve things because we’d never be out of touch. It would also save time from going back and forth across the pasture just to give instructions.”

  Ted nodded and turned to meet Dad’s eyes. “Yeah, and you’d be able to contact us easier too when you need us. There might be a time you and Mama can’t get up and come out to find us. You can just call.”

  “So you think this is the best way?” Dad folded his arms across his chest and studied us, his jaw tight; the muscle there twitching.

  I prepared myself for his reaction but so far, he was scaring me more with his lack of reacting. “Yes. There are new programs and several apps that we’d find useful. I know I can learn, though I’m a tad rusty, but Luke and Mason had more advanced classes than I did, and they could show us enough to make it work. We could show you the basics, and it’s not that hard.”

  Dad straightened up in his chair, his chin protruding with pride. “Well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking myself on how this place needs to be run and I’ve come to the conclusion that you boys are right.”

  Ted and I exchanged a surprised glance, and waited for the bomb to drop. It couldn’t be this easy.

  “As my oldest son, David, you should be in charge around here when I’m not. You’ve seen the way I run things and I know you can handle it.”

  Ted stiffened beside me. “I know how to run this place too. More than any of the others.” He had always taken offense that I’d one day be in charge because of birthright. He knew I had always wanted to sing instead, and that running the business was not first in my heart like it was in his.

  Dad held up a hand. “You’re absolutely right, Teddy, you do know more than most and you have some good ideas on how to improve things. That’s why I’m putting you in charge of updating things and preparing to take over for me.”

  The two of us sat silent, but Ted’s expression was much happier than mine. I was the oldest, I had been the one to hold things together and line the boys out. I’d covered for Ted’s ass when he’d been out all night chasing skirt, and now he was in charge of me? I let the anger build in me as Dad continued.

  “I’m aware that things are changing. With your Mama’s health and me not getting any younger, it’s not fair for me to expect you to take over and still do things my way. So, you have my permission to get your fancy equipment. I’ll even make the budget a generous one, but I don’t want to be trained on that. You can consider this my retirement from office duty. I’ll still work, but I’m not going to take the burden of learning everything again.”

  “So that’s it? You’re done and he’s in charge of me?” I pointed my finger at Ted, just inches from his nose and he didn’t flinch. Instead, a slow smile spread across his lips and I wanted to punch the smug bastard.

  Dad nodded. “Yeah, Ted’s in charge of the business.”

  That was all I needed to hear. I took off out of the office, slamming the door behind me, and headed into the house. Moments later Sarah joined me in the living room.

  I sat on the couch with my guitar in my lap too pissed off to play it.

  “Are you okay?” Her eyes were wide as she crossed the room and sat next to me.

  “Ted’s in charge.” I shook my head and let the words sink in. “Can you believe that I put my entire life on hold, thinking it was my responsibility here as the first born, and Dad puts Ted in charge.”

  Sarah let out a sigh. “Talk to your Daddy.”

  Before I could respond, Dad and Ted came into the house. Dad took a seat in his recliner and Ted stood at the hearth resting his hand against the mantle.

  “I wasn’t done.” He took a deep breath and Sarah slipped her hand into mine.

  “I put your brother in charge for a reason, son. I know I haven’t always been so supportive, but a wise person recently made me see that I need to stop smothering you with my own ideas of a perfect life and let you live your own.” He and Sarah exchanged a smile and she met my eyes as he continued. “I have heard you around here singing. Hell, these walls are thin. I know you have a beautiful singing voice, just like my daddy did. This little lady here says she can help you live your dreams and I’m going to give you my blessing to do it.”

  I couldn’t believe what my dad was saying. He was going to respect my dreams? I turned to Sarah who was smiling big.

  Ted turned to face us, not quite taking the news as I’d expected. “Wait, so David won’t be around to do his part of the work? What the hell?” He spun around on Dad and pointed a finger in my direction. “He gets to go live some dream and we’re stuck here pulling his weight?”

  Dad narrowed his eyes. “I thought running this place was your dream, perhaps I’m wrong? Or is it that you just want David around so you can be his boss for a change? Don’t think we don’t know that’s what your biggest issue is.”

  Ted lowered his hand and stormed outside, slamming the screen door behind him.

  Dad waved his hand at the door. “He’ll get over it. And before you ask who is going to pick up your part of the work, that’s his problem. You need to get your ass to Nashville with this pretty lady and pursue your future.”

  I was speechless. I sat there frozen not sure what to think or say.

  “So what do you think?” Sarah asked. She nudged me and I couldn’t do anything but nod. I was so excited, but at the same time I was nervous and feeling terribly guilty.

  “It’s just a bad time.” I shook my head. “Maybe after Mama’s out of the hospital, then I can go.” I nodded and looked to Sarah who I expected to be overjoyed, but her expression had dimmed.

  “That might be too late,” Dad said, getting to his feet. “You should go as soon as possible, for Sarah’s sake.”

  As Dad walked outside, I searched her eyes. “What did he mean for your sake?”

  “It’s nothing. You take all the time you need.” She pulled her lips in tight as if she was holding more than words back.

  “What’s going on and did you say something to my dad?” Her eyes wide
ned. “You did.” I wasn’t sure whether to be happy or not. I was more concerned with what she wasn’t telling me.

  “He came down after our spat and we talked.” She lifted a shoulder as if to play it off.

  “So what are you not telling me?” I pulled my hand away from hers.

  “It’s nothing. It’s just that Rowena, my boss, is really being adamant about getting you there as soon as possible.” There wasn’t a trace of smile left in her. Her lips turned down in a frown and she kept her eyes averted from mine.

  I turned her by the chin to look at me. “How soon?”

  “I have another week.”

  My brows furrowed. “Another week or what? You know I won’t be ready in another week.”

  “And that’s perfectly fine.” She clutched my arm and smiled but I saw the twitch in her lip that betrayed her. She was about to cry.

  “Dammit, tell me what’s going on.” I had a feeling she was about to do something very stupid.

  “If I can’t have you back to Nashville in another week then she’s threatened to fire me.” The words spilled from her lips in a rush and sent my blood to boiling.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

  “I didn’t want you to make this decision based on me, I wanted you to make it for yourself. With your mother being in the hospital, I hoped I could buy more time until you were ready.”

  “You should have told me.” I hardened my stare. I couldn’t believe she was taking that big of a risk for me. I knew she hoped I’d go back with her, but I didn’t know that she had a deadline. “Get this Rowena person on the phone and I’ll talk to her. I’ll tell her what’s going on and that we’re going to be a week longer. By then Mama will be home, and I’ll feel better about leaving.”

  “I’m not sure it’s going to be that easy.” Her bare shoulders slumped and she seemed so small my protective nature had me angered again.

  “So what the hell am I supposed to do if you lose your job? Go to Nashville without you? Did you even think that I may not want to without your representation?” I wasn’t sure who I was angrier at, her or that damned Rowena.

  “Your talent is too good for you to worry about me. What Rowena and Elder Tree can do for your career is what’s important. You can have an amazing life.” She spoke those words with such conviction that I believed she meant them with all of her heart.

  “That’s bullshit.” My tone was steeped with anger and she backed away. Before I lost it, I got up and stormed out, heading to the barn to fetch my horse.

  I had to get the hell away and clear my mind. What the hell had gotten into her? I’d tried to show her a thousand times how much I cared. I’d brought her into my home, into my life and introduced her to my family. She hadn’t even cared enough to tell me the truth about things, like she didn’t think she mattered at all. Maybe she didn’t want to? She’d gone behind my back talking to Dad and even had him convinced to give his blessing. Maybe that was her plan all along, to find a way to convince me before I was ready. To get Rowena what she wanted so she could move on to the next talent and use her persuasion. No one would just give up their job, there had to be more to it. My mind was too crowded with thoughts to think straight.

  I saddled my horse and just as Sarah ran up behind me, I took off leaving her in the dust. I couldn’t deal with her, not while I was angry. The more I stewed on things the angrier I got and the more I regretted letting her in so close. No telling how many others she’d been sent after. Maybe I wasn’t the first.

  I stopped at the pond and gazed down to the still water. It had always calmed my nerves and was one of my most favorite places. It was always quiet enough to be alone with my thoughts and I got down from my horse and walked out on the pier for a better look. I hadn’t ever cared about someone as much as Sarah. Not even Ella. I’d almost married her and she’d betrayed me with my own brother.

  That whole ordeal was Ted trying to best me and now he’d won the farm. All of that on top of not knowing why Sarah didn’t respect me enough to tell me about Rowena’s threats. What else was she keeping from me? I knew my thoughts were crazy. Sarah was willing to give up her job to give me more time. That was my real issue. How could she think for one minute that I’d want a life, much less a career, without her?

  Chapter 26

  Sarah

  David hadn’t even listened. He took off on his horse like his ass was on fire and left me standing in his damned barn. I stormed back to the house, past his father and Luke, and went straight to his room. I should have known this would blow up in my face and I should have just went with my gut and told him that I had a deadline. I wasn’t trying to force a decision on him by including his father, but I was afraid David would see it that way. I shouldn’t have come back. I shouldn’t have gotten too close. I’d opened my heart and let him bring his entire family inside.

  I stared out the window into the distance. The land was so vast that I couldn’t see David anywhere. I looked down to the garden and cursed under my breath. I had never been so competent and purposeful as I did in those rows. I enjoyed it.

  I was at home there among his family, even though I wasn’t sure how some of them felt about me. Well, Ted didn’t seem to like too many people, but Mason and Luke were adorable. I had always wanted brothers and those two would be perfect. Even his mother had apologized and when she asked me to take care of them, I’d taken that to heart. She trusted me with them.

  I had wanted to help, but all I’d managed to do was stick my nose where it didn’t belong and keep David out of the loop. I turned away from the window and grabbed my bag off the floor. I walked around the room, gathering my things and made sure I had my makeup bag packed. This time when I left, I wouldn’t be coming back and I didn’t want any excuse to.

  I just wished he’d come back and let me know what was on his mind. I needed a chance to explain, certain that if I could, things would be all right between us. My phone sounded and I went to the dresser where I had it charging. I lit the screen and frowned when I read my latest messages. Jenn sent me a smile and asked how it was going, but Rowena sent two with a much darker tone: Hope you’re enjoying your little vacation. Don’t screw this up. I mouthed the words as I read them and cringed. The latest one was much shorter: Tick-tock.

  I dropped to the bed and drew my knees up to my chin. What I wanted was to scream. Why did she have to be such a pushy bitch? What did it matter when he signed as long as he did? It was her silly posturing that made it all that much worse. With my own problems weighing me down, how did I expect to be a help for David. I’d have my things ready and wait for him to come back in. I’d lay everything out for him, minus my feelings. I couldn’t share those. It wouldn’t be fair to use that against him. If he didn’t want to leave his family I’d respect that, and I’d go back to Rowena, take my lumps, and beg her to give him a chance when he was ready. The most important thing was him getting picked up.

  The creaking door brought my head around and I found Mason peeking in. “Sorry, it wasn’t closed all the way.” He stepped back and turned to leave.

  “Did you need something?” I wiped my cheeks, getting rid of the tears that had spilled there.

  He stopped and leaned against the door jamb. “No, I was just checking on you.”

  “Did David send you up here?” I wasn’t sure how I’d feel if he had.

  “No, but I saw what happened and thought you might need to talk.” Mason glanced behind him into the hall and raised his brow as I recognized the sound of footsteps behind him. He stepped aside and David walked into the room.

  “Thanks for the offer,” I said, as Mason winked and walked away.

  David’s expression was unreadable and he towered over me where I sat. I dropped my knees and looked away from him and was surprised when he knelt in front of me.

  “Look at me,” he said, taking my chin between his callused fingers. I turned my head and met his eyes. “Where are you going?”

  “Back home, I guess, if you�
��re going to run off on that horse every time there is a problem.”

  “I didn’t want you to see me mad.” He rested his hands on my knees, still staring deep, his eyes the deepest brown.

  “What’s there to be mad about? And if you’re so pissed off at me, why are you here?”

  “Is your boss really giving you a hard time?” He narrowed his eyes and my pulse raced.

  “You think I’m lying about that?” I pushed past him, going for my phone, turning it on so he could see the messages that Rowena had sent. “Does this look like I’m lying?”

  He glared down at the screen, his brows pinching tight as he read the words. “I’m sorry. But why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t want to put more on you.”

  David shook his head and I flinched as his hands clutched my shoulders. “What makes you think I’d want any of it without you?”

  I searched his eyes, which softened. “I just want you to succeed.”

  “If you aren’t succeeding with me, I don’t want it. You’re what matters, Sarah, and I’m not going to let you lose your job over this.” He went to his closet and pulled out a duffle bag, emptying the contents on the floor.

  “It’s not fair though, you say I’m what matters, but your mother matters too. Your family matters. Living your life in your own time, matters. That’s why I didn’t want to force you into anything. It’s bad enough I let Rowena ruin my life.” I walked to his closet where he handed me two shirts on hangers and then a pair of shiny boots, then he went to his dresser and crammed some clothes from the drawers into the bag.

  “You think I brought you here and welcomed you into my life, into my family, and I’m going to let a few weeks get in the way? You heard my dad give me his blessing. There’s nothing stopping me. Mama’s in good hands and my brothers can take care of themselves.” He stopped and met my eyes. “Your car or my truck?”

 

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