Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1)

by Ali Parker

  "I'm sure you'll make do. You always do, right?"

  He winked at her and reached for another scone, Kari leaning over to grab one, too.

  "These look great." Kari looked over at Sicily. "What kind are they?"

  "Cinnamon Vanilla Pecan. Trying something new today." She shrugged.

  "Oh, speaking of new. I have to go out of town this weekend, but I'll be back by Sunday to help paint. I should be driving in early that morning." Kari found an empty chair and plopped down in it.

  "Where are you going?" Lisa turned her attention toward her as someone knocked at the door.

  "I'll get it." Sicily stood and walked to the front of the house as Kari turned her attention back to Lisa, her stomach tightening at the thought of it possibly being Jake.

  "There is a boys’ high school basketball tournament that is happening a few hours north of here and we've been asked by the school to have a local reporter go up and cover the event."

  "You're brand new in town. Is there no one else who can go?" Marc licked at his fingers as he complained.

  "No. The other guy who works with me just had a baby. Well, his wife had a baby, so it's just me and Martha and I don't think she would be willing to walk to the mailbox if someone asked her." Kari and Lisa laughed as Marc rolled his eyes.

  "I don't like it. You're horrible with directions."

  "I'll be fine." Kari took a bite of her scone as Sicily came back, Jake behind her. Kari almost choked on the biscuit, her brother turning to pat her back.

  "Hey... no choking please." He turned and looked at Jake, his eyes narrowing a little. Kari stood up and lifted the scone in the air.

  "This is awesome. I'm late, so I'll take it with me." She winked at Sicily and walked around to her brother. "Stand up and hug me. I'll miss you."

  Marc leaned down and pulled her into a tight hug, her chest aching at the fact that Jake was just behind her and yet emotionally so far away. She had to get out of there, and fast. Her emotional stability was wavering at best. She kissed Marc's cheek and moved back.

  "Call me when you get back to New York."

  "It will all be good. Lisa is taking me to the rent-a-car place. I'll call you for sure. I'll hug mom for you too." He reached out and touched her shoulder. "I love you. Take care of yourself and don't sell yourself short over some punk ass, okay?"

  She cringed internally. She had always been the older sister, the one to take up for Marc anytime he needed protection from the time he was born until now. His words were meant for Jake, and from his flinching, Kari guessed they hit home. She nodded and waved to her friends with a fake smile on her lips.

  "You guys have an amazing day. Jake, nice to see you." She smiled sweetly and walked to get her things, her teeth sinking into her lip as she beat back the violent truth of her situation. She wanted him. She wanted him to be in her today and her tomorrow. She wanted to know what it felt like to wrap up in his arms, to hear him whisper her name, to feel the pressure of his strong body against hers. She swallowed hard and walked languidly to the door, slipping out into the morning before letting a sound of sadness leave her lips.

  Chapter 19

  He shouldn't have come. The way Kari's brother was eyeing him it was obvious that she'd come home and her emotions had spilled over. He felt like shit for doing anything that might make her feel any way other than what she was - perfect, beautiful, sweet, and kind. He took a scone as she spoke to him with falseness hanging on her that just didn't belong.

  He lifted it and smiled. "Good to see you, too.”

  He turned and caught the grimace on her brother's face. He needed to get to work. Why had he thought stopping by to apologize would be a good idea? He looked over at Lisa and smiled. "I just wanted you to know that I'll be stopping by on Tuesday afternoons from now on to deal with the yard.”

  She smiled and picked up her coffee. "Sounds great to me. I'll just give you our rent check on the Tuesday before the 1st then."

  "Perfect." He took another bite of the scone and turned to the dark-skinned girl wearing an apron. "This is delicious. You should open a bakery."

  "I am!" She beamed and he laughed, her excitement palatable. She was pretty, but nothing compared to Kari.

  "Great, well if you guys need my help..."

  Kari's brother cut him off and stood. "They won't."

  Jake nodded. "I see. Well, thanks for the scone. I need to be going." He held it up again and turned to walk to the front door, part of him praying that Kari would still be sitting outside. He slipped out at the sound of the girls attacking Kari's brother over being so rude to him. He wasn't sure what the guy would tell them, but it wasn't his problem. He'd hurt Kari with his response the day before - his rejection, though it really wasn't about her, but more about him. He deserved their angst over it. Hell, he was dealing with his own.

  He jogged down the stairs to his truck and slipped inside, sitting in the driveway for a minute, contemplating whether it would be a good idea to go by the paper and see if she would accept an apology. They could just be friends. He could set the rules up and they would be fine.

  He laughed at how ridiculous he was being. He'd hurt her. She wouldn't welcome a friendship at this point. It would seem like pity. He growled and ran his fingers through his short spiky hair, exhaling loudly and turning on the truck.

  Fuck it. He'd made his bed and now he could lie in it. He would leave her be and maybe with a little bit of time, the thought of her would stop haunting him.

  "Doubtful."

  ***

  She took a detour on her way to work, pulling into the hospital for a quick visit. The nurse at the front desk was helpful and ushered her back to see Cliff and his family. She knocked on the door to their room.

  "Can I come in? It's Kari from the newspaper."

  Cliff opened the door and smiled brightly, pulling her into a warm hug. "Kari! I was just telling Jillyn about you. Come in here and meet her and our little man."

  Kari smiled and walked in, turning past the long curtain and extending her hand to Jillyn, who was far more stunning than she'd imagined Cliff's wife would be.

  "Hi, I'm Kari."

  "Jill. Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you. We sure do appreciate you helping so much at the paper while Cliff's with me."

  Kari nodded and moved to look at the small bundle in a white plastic hospital crib, his little blue hat large around his tiny head.

  "Of course." She smiled and reached to touch him, stopping short and looking up. "Can I?"

  Cliff walked over and reached for the baby, picking him up and extending him to Kari. "Of course. Here, hold him. He's perfect."

  "Oh, okay." Kari reached for him and almost swooned at how beautiful he was. The smell of baby powder wrapped around her and something deep inside of her longed for a little one of her own. She moved and sat on the long, plastic-covered couch, leaning back and pulling the baby up to her chest to look at him. Perfect little nose and lips. She laughed and felt emotions rising within her again. She looked up at Cliff as concerned covered his face.

  "Hey, you okay?"

  She nodded as a tear dripped down her face. "Yeah. I just can't wait until my life turns into something. I want to be married and have little ones, and yet every time I try something new it just blows up in my face."

  She wiped her tear as Cliff sat down next to her and put an arm around her. Jillyn's voice pulled her from the moment, embarrassment sitting heavy on her.

  "It's okay to want those things. It's natural. They will come, I promise. You just have to find the right guy. Most of them are dicks."

  "Jill..." Cliff gave his wife a look and smiled over at Kari. "She's right, though. You will find the right guy. You're too great not to."

  Kari rocked the baby a little and looked over at him. "You don't even know me. I could be horrid."

  He laughed. "Somehow I can't see that."

  She sat back and spent the next hour holding the little bundle and talking with Cliff and Jill about thei
r meeting and courtship. It was relaxing and romantic, fun and exciting. By the time she handed the little one back to his daddy, she felt better. She thanked them both and walked out of the hospital not sorry that she shared herself and her struggle with strangers, but proud of herself and blessed at the foundation laid for a good relationship between her and the two of them.

  ***

  The rest of the week went by quickly and she avoided going anywhere that Jake might be. She would have to talk to Sicily and Lisa about him as both of them spent the rest of the week asking. They all met on Friday for lunch at a little café just across from Judy's bakery to chat. Kari slipped out of her car and looked over at the bakery, reminding herself that she needed to talk with Sicily about the sweet little old lady who really ran things there.

  She walked in as a large man yelled from behind the counter, "Seat yourself, kiddo, and we'll be right with you."

  Kari smiled at him and walked toward the back where Lisa and Sicily sat, both of them with a glass of wine. She pointed to their drinks as she sat down.

  "One glass of that at this time of the day and I'd be asleep."

  Lisa shrugged and took a long drink, draining her glass. "Who's to say I'm not asleep?"

  Kari and Sicily laughed, Sicily's face changing quickly.

  "Okay, spill. Something is wrong with you and I want to know what it is."

  "It's Jake, isn't it?" Lisa asked, reaching for the bottle between them and filling up her glass and Kari's.

  Kari stopped her at halfway and picked up the drink, taking a small sip and wincing. "That's crazy strong."

  "Stop diverting. What's going on?" Sicily picked at a piece of bread and pinned Kari with her stare.

  Kari sighed and sat back. "It's nothing really. I just thought maybe there was something between me and Jake and there isn't."

  "How do you know there isn't?"

  "Did he hurt you?" Lisa sat up, her expression serious.

  "No, I mean yes, but it's my fault."

  "How is it your fault that he hurt you? What happened?" Sicily dropped her bread and moved her hands to her lap.

  "It’s not like we've known each other more than a few days and I guess I misread his flirting. I asked him to lunch he said no."

  "He said no? Like how did he say no?" Lisa asked.

  "Why would he say no? You're like the full package deal!" Sicily balked as Kari sighed and pressed her hands to her face.

  "This is why I didn't say anything. You guys think I'm great, but..." She let her hands drop, sadness painting its way across her day. "I guess he doesn't. It's not his fault and he wasn't mean at all. I'm hurt because my hope for something between us died. I'll get over it."

  "I'm going to kick his ass," Lisa growled.

  "No, you're not. He's a great guy and he's going to be in our lives for a long time. Please don't let my misunderstanding with him taint what we have as tenants and landlord, and possibly even friends." Kari sat up, the look on her face telling her friends they'd better leave it alone.

  Lisa looked over to Sicily and growled. "Bullshit."

  Sicily looked back to Kari. "We'll leave it alone, but don't keep that stuff to yourself. You're like a sister to us and you've been through too much as it is. Let us know what's up sooner next time?"

  Kari nodded, reaching for a piece of bread. "I'm hoping there won't be a next time for a while. I think I've learned my lesson. Wait for the guy to ask you because you suck royally at reading the signs."

  Lisa reached over and squeezed her arm. "You're a great catch and some man is going to hit the jackpot with you. I don't know anyone better than you... besides Sicily."

  Kari laughed as Sicily spoke up, "Nice save."

  "New topic," Kari started. "The bakery across the street is owned by some rich witch, but her little old mother is the one in there actually baking stuff and running the shop. We can't hurt her or shut her down."

  "Is she happy there?" Sicily asked.

  "I guess?" Kari shrugged. "I don't know, honestly. She seemed okay, but I know that she's not exactly fond of her daughter, at least it seemed that way."

  "Maybe she can come work for you?" Lisa added, smiling wickedly.

  "Exactly!" Sicily clapped her hands. "What better way to mess with someone than steal their best employee?"

  "Why can't you just say 'fuck'?" Lisa asked, rolling her eyes playfully.

  "What?" Sicily responded.

  "Why can't you just say, ‘fuck with someone’? Mess with someone is so silly."

  Kari laughed and Sicily reached over and punched Lisa in the arm.

  "We're not all as vulgar as you."

  "You should be. It's more fun. I promise you." Lisa waggled her eyebrows.

  Kari sat back and enjoyed the company of her friends. She had packed for her out of town trip earlier that morning and would be leaving after their meal. She had the maps printed out and was looking forward to getting away and seeing a little bit of the inland parts of Maine. The pictures were beautiful and the drive looked serene. Sicily had offered to go with her, but she needed some time alone. The road trip would help.

  They shared three dishes, the small café making the most sinful chicken pot pie Kari had ever tasted. It wasn't a dish she was used to, and yet she begged Sicily to figure out how to make one before they finished up and paid the bill. Kari walked in the front of the group to the door, waiting until they were out on the small sidewalk to say her goodbyes.

  "Okay, girls, I'm heading out. I'll be back Sunday. My hotel information and such is on the table at home." She turned as Sicily groaned and Lisa moved in for a long hug.

  "You sure you don't want me to go?" Sicily pouted.

  "No. She needs some time to clear her head." Lisa pulled back and smiled. "Enjoy the trip and the basketball. We won’t tell anyone that you’re hot for those senior boys in shorty shorts."

  "Gross, Lisa." Kari moved back and pretended to gag. They all laughed and waved their goodbyes. Kari got in her car, full and feeling better.

  ***

  Jake wrapped up his day and headed to the fire station, his backpack in the passenger seat of his truck for his trip up north. He wished things had gone differently with Kari. He would love to take her up there and let her get a few shots of the game, not to mention just hang out together. He parked the truck and walked into the station, all of the older guys waving and calling out to him. The paper would be sending someone... Cliff for sure.

  He busied himself with paperwork on a fire that happened a week ago, the night dragging on like never before. He tapped the pen on the desk in front of him and seriously considered finding her number and calling. He could just tell her that she caught him off guard, that he didn't mean for it to sound like was rejecting her. She would accept the apology and they would go to the tournament together. Stay in the hotel together. Get to know one another - really well.

  He groaned and dropped his head on the desk before him.

  "What's up, youngan? Something eating at you?" Bob, a fit guy in his late fifties sat down, crossing his leg over the other and staring at Jake. He wasn't getting out of the counseling session that just landed in front of him.

  "Just this girl."

  "Just this girl? What girl? What happened? The blond from Texas again?"

  "No. It's a new girl."

  "Well praise the Lord! Hallelujah for that! I didn't think you'd ever get over old what's her name."

  "Bethany."

  "Yeah, that one."

  "I'm not over her. That's the problem with the new girl."

  "She wants you over the old girl. Seems very selfish of her."

  Jake laughed sardonically and lifted his hands into the air, stretching. "No. I turned down the new girl because I'm not over the old girl."

  The older man leaned forward, his brow creasing. "Son. Haven't you and the old girl been done for three years?"

  "Yes, Bob, and I know where you're going with this, but I really don't want to get into another relationship. Women
are vicious and don't give a shit about your heart."

  Bob nodded. "And you know that for sure about this new girl?"

  Jake was caught. He sat back and locked his fingers over his chest. "Go ahead. Tell me what you're here to tell me because the new girl is everything I could want in a woman physically, but I don't know her well enough to say she's like every other girl in the world."

  The old man laughed. "Well, I think you'd better man up and stop kicking the idea of love to the curb. Hurt and pain will forever be present in our lives, but it's the few moments that love comes in and heals and comforts. The pain and hurt aren't going anywhere, but when is the last time someone loved on you?"

  "You mean sex?" Jake's brow lifted.

  "No, boy. I mean loved you. Really loved you. Fixed you a meal, or brought you coffee, or hung out with you while you did some meaningless task."

  "Like building a swing for the back porch?" Jake asked, his heart aching all over again.

  "Exactly. You better stop being so tough and tell that girl you're sorry. You never know when you might reject the one who's here to save you."

  "What do you mean 'save me'? I thought Jesus was the Savior?"

  The old man laughed and stood up. "He is, son. He's here to save us all, but sometimes the only way we find our way to the pew of a church is by the incessant pushing of a beautiful woman who has come to save us first."

  Jake snorted, the old man making far too much sense. "I guess you’re right. I'll tell her I'm sorry and try and strike up a friendship with her."

  "Good, and if she's one of 'those' girls, then kick her to the curb, but if she ain't, hold on tightly, son. Your world will change so fast it'll make your head spin."

  Jake waved him away and leaned back, closing his eyes as he imagined a world where he and Kari lived in that small, white house by the bay.

  Was it possible?

  Only one way to know...