Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1)

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Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1) Page 109

by Ali Parker


  Simple—he’d rejected her love once. What was to say he wouldn’t do it again?

  Chapter 8

  Rebecca finally pushed her way through the crowd. A live band played in the far corner of the bar, which worked to bring in the hordes of people milling about. She slipped out into the cold night air, the valet guys moving toward her to get her parking ticket from her.

  “No, just looking. Thank you, though,” she said quickly, moving out toward the parking lot and scanning the crowd. A large red pickup truck pulled out in front of her, the driver a male, but it was impossible to tell much more with the darkness that surrounded her. She wanted to yell out to him, but seeming needy was completely out. She backed up toward the restaurant, a set of strong hands wrapping around her shoulders and scaring her.

  She jerked away, turning to see Jason standing there with confusion on his handsome face.

  “Hey, it’s just me.” He smiled and reached for her arm, pulling her back into the warmth of the bar as she looked one more time over her shoulder.

  Nothing. Almost like seeing a ghost.

  “Sorry. I thought I saw someone I knew from high school.” She laughed softly, her mind racing along with the beating of her heart as she walked back into the waiting crowd.

  Jason mumbled something, but she couldn’t hear him over the band. The atmosphere was getting to be a little much for her, so she stopped and turned to him, reaching up to pull his head toward her. A look of surprise covered his features, and she wanted to roll her eyes at the thoughts that must be going through his head, but she didn’t.

  She simply pressed her lips to the side of his ear and spoke loudly so that he might have a chance of hearing her. “I’m ready to go. I’ll get a cab. I insist.”

  He pulled back, his hands on her shoulders again. “I’ll take you. It’s no problem.”

  She shook her head. “No … I’m good. Go have fun with your friends.”

  “What?” he yelled and leaned back down toward her, the muted smell of his cologne wrapping around her and beckoning her hormones to swoop in and make several rather poor decisions. She repeated herself in his ear, giving him a knowing look as he fought against her.

  Relief filled her completely as Parker moved up beside her, his hair a mess and voice rising above the crowd. “You left your freaking wallet in the car, Becca.”

  He extended it and she took it, wrapping her arms into his and smiling at Jason. “Parker will take me home. I’ll see you in the morning. Have fun.”

  She turned Parker toward the door, her partner looking over his shoulder and waving at Jason, she assumed. Fate wasn’t as completely against her as it would seem. She thought she had seen Kade in town, and now Parker was here to rescue her from Jason. She leaned her head against Parker’s strong arm and moved them back out into the night air.

  “What the hell was that?” he mumbled and gave his ticket back to the valet.

  She moved away, slipping her arms around herself and shivering. “Too many beers and a few mistakes in the making. You just saved me from having to get a cab or go home and ruin Jason for all future women.”

  Parker laughed and moved closer, wrapping his strong arm around her and pulling her into his side. She snuggled against his offered warmth and laughed with him.

  “Any chance you might want to ruin me?”

  She swatted at him as the car pulled up. They rushed toward it, the wind picking up and making the hot Texas summers seem like a much desired dream in the present conditions. She slipped into the car, reaching down to pull her shoes off as she sighed with contentment. The liquor buzzing through her system made her wish she were ruining someone, and yet all the viable options that evening weren’t viable or options.

  “I just happened to be going out to the car to grab my cell phone after I got home and almost got settled, and your wallet was right there.” Parker sighed, buckling up and pulling out into the busy side street traffic.

  “I’m so glad you came back. I was trying to get a cab, or about to.”

  “Jason wouldn’t have allowed that.”

  “I’m aware, but if I’d left this place with him I’m not sure it would’ve been good for either of us.”

  Parker looked over at her, a smirk on his lips. “Oh, I’m sure it would’ve been incredibly good for him, but you … who knows? Those young boys don’t know how to last all night.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’m not talking about this with you.”

  “Hey, you brought it up.” He laughed and reached to turn on the heat. “You want me to take you home, or what?”

  “Yeah, I’m exhausted.” She ran her fingers through her hair, the events of the night swimming in her memory. “I think I saw Kade tonight.”

  Parker looked toward her. “Kade McMillian?”

  “Yeah,” she whispered, her fingers moving to pick at her lip.

  “That’s interesting.”

  “Very.”

  “Did you guys talk?”

  “No, I thought I saw him at the bar, so when I came back from the bathroom I looked for him, but Jason cornered me.”

  “So, how do you know it was him?” Parker turned down the street that led to their office. “You want to grab your car or want me to come get you tomorrow? How many drinks did you have?”

  She sat up and unbuckled. “I only had two and I’m good to drive. Just drop me off here.”

  “How did you know it was Kade if you really didn’t get a good look at him? It’s been sixteen years. You sure you’re not just creating things in your mind?”

  She reached for the door handle as he stopped the car, a soft smile playing on her lips. “He turned to look at me when he moved out of the bar. It was him, for sure. Now, whether he was real and here or simply a figment of my overactive imagination? I don’t know.”

  Parker shook his head. “Oh Lord. I hope he’s back and single and loaded with cash.”

  She got out of the car before leaning back down in the open doorway. “Why would you say that?”

  He smiled as his eyes moved from her gaze to her neck. “Because you deserve all that.” He pointed toward her chest. “I can see down your shirt, and I’m voting no on burning that bra.”

  She yelped and moved back, growling softly at him before shutting the door hard. He rolled down the window as she moved toward her car, the small fob in her hand bringing it to life.

  “Do the panties match?” He laughed and she simply shook her head. Parker was forever lost to the confident knowledge of being a male who knew what he wanted and how to get it.

  Rebecca’s phone buzzed in her briefcase as she worked to unlock the door to her apartment, the loud music flowing from the apartment across the hall and grating against her last nerve. She’d lived here for several years, and though she paid top dollar for the place, there were people of every background living around her. It was an eclectic part of town, and if the individuals that lived around her didn’t have a healthy bank account, like she did, then they had parents that did. She pushed into her apartment, concern spreading across her at who would be calling at eleven on a Friday night.

  Rebecca dropped her stuff in the car, turned to lock her front door and then worked to dig through her briefcase to locate the buzzing phone. She’d missed the call by then, but Jason’s name appeared on the screen a few seconds later. Sighing softly, she dropped the phone on the couch and moved through the house, turning on lights as she went. She had watched far too many scary movies as a kid not to turn on the lights in a dark house. Freddy was as alive and well now as he was in the 90’s, as far as she was concerned.

  Rebecca slipped off her shoes and dropped her skirt mid-walk to the bathroom. She started the water in her tub and stood in front of the full length mirror, looking herself over. There was nothing like a hot bath to melt away her worries or fears, and she currently had a bit of both pressing against her. She worked to get her white button down shirt off, a small dot of red on the sleeve causing her to growl. She’d eaten eve
ry snack known to man while talking to Parker, so the fact that her white shirt was still white for the most part was a big win.

  She shook her head ruefully as she thought of her partner, the tall, handsome flirt getting exactly what he deserved in his newest marriage. He’d grabbed someone who was beautiful and happy with slinging herself around a pole for the rest of her life and had tried to pick her up and make her into an executive somewhere.

  “It’s his own damn fault it’s not working. People never change unless they want to.” She dropped her shirt and then turned toward the mirror. The small, light pink lace bra and g-string panties looked quite good on her, but they were still going in the furnace. She growled at the uncomfortable marks they left all over her and tossed them toward the small trashcan beside the toilet, the panties landing in the toilet.

  “Ahhh damn,” she mumbled, going to fish them out as the phone went off again. She left the bathroom drama to itself and walked nude across the living room, running as she crossed in front of the full length window just in case … what, a sniper was watching her? She laughed at the thought and picked up the phone, answering Jason’s third call.

  “Hello.”

  “Becca. Just wanted to make sure you made it home okay. You left so fast that I didn’t get your address for tomorrow.”

  Tomorrow. Hmmm … maybe I should cancel tomorrow. Tonight was a close call as it was.

  “You there?” Jason’s voice was soft and almost sensual. He’d had too much to drink, and the idea of him taking another girl home almost grated on her until she reminded herself that there was nothing at all between them and would never be.

  “Yeah, sorry. I’m trying to run water for a bath and answer e-mails, and you know how life can be.” She rolled her eyes at how stupid she sounded for blaming a plethora of e-mails for her busyness at eleven on a Friday night.

  He laughed softly. “I’m sure. I’ll pick you up at seven tomorrow. Just text me your address and go enjoy your bath. Thanks for being here tonight. I had fun.”

  She smiled, unable to help herself. “Yeah, I did too. I’ll text you later.”

  She hung up and looked at the phone for a few moments, really thinking through how nice it would be not to be spending the rest of the evening alone. What would it be like to take a bath with someone and snuggle up or, God-forbid, lose herself in passion for the evening? She groaned with semi-regret, knowing that she was thinking of the wrong man.

  “He works for you and he’s twelve years younger than you. Grow up.”

  She walked toward the tub, her mind being less than restrictive in playing out the evening they might have had together. She was quickly brought back to the reality that was her life when she spied the panties in the toilet. She chuckled at herself and fished them out, washing her hands five times before realizing that the tub was at the top with hot, steamy water. She rushed over to turn it off and stood there for a minute, just taking in the serenity of the warm air the steam created.

  “That was Kade tonight, wasn’t it?” She stepped in as chill bumps broke out across her skin. “He was there and real, right?”

  Who knew? She hadn’t seen him in sixteen years, so she had no idea how he’d aged. Even if it was him, he wouldn’t have recognized her. She’d gone from a gangly ginger to a filled out, well-to-do woman. Physically, very little remained from her childhood, except the long, silky red hair that her mother had blessed her with. Kade used to run his fingers through it, commenting all the time on how lucky she was to have silky fire for hair. She’d laugh and he’d tug on it just to be a punk.

  So many afternoons spent watching movies or studying together. So many experiences that led to the edge of a relationship and yet never took the plunge. They’d kissed a few times, but that had felt more like an experiment than anything. They hadn’t really made out, and sex wasn’t ever a part of their relationship, but neither of them had really been that type of kid. She was focused on her grades and her church, and he was focused on his band and winning in every sport he could find.

  Accomplishment overtook relationship every time.

  She sank down into the hot water, a deep sigh leaving her. Her accomplishments had gotten her far in life, but it was here in this moment that she realized what those accomplishments had failed to do. They had failed to produce a partner. One who would laugh with her and experience the various curveballs that the world threw at her. One that would hold her tight and make her feel beautiful with his actions and not just empty words. One that might bring a passion from her that scorched them both, her own desire to find her limits sexually demanding someone who wanted to explore alongside her.

  But most of all, her accomplishments had failed to give her the time or energy to welcome someone in to celebrate the thing she always fell back on—her accomplishments.

  She slipped down into the water, the scorching wetness engulfing her senses and giving her a break from her never-ending cycle of regrets.

  Was Kade that man, or was Jason someone to be considered?

  Chapter 9

  “You dress down nice.” Jason smiled as Rebecca stepped up, pulling herself into his oversized black pickup truck.

  She had on a cream-colored sweater, skinny jeans and designer boots. She’d thrown her hair into a ponytail and put on a little bit of makeup, but not much. She realized that she looked ten years younger this way, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing, but she had a really hard time not tempting fate.

  “Thanks. You dress down nice yourself.” She buckled up and sighed with contentment.

  Jason was in a pair of jeans and a heavy tan coat, his light brown eyes filled with warmth and rimmed from a liquored-up night before.

  “What time did you guys get out of the bar last night?”

  “Oh, I only stayed another hour or so. Once you left, it was just ehhh.” He pulled out into the street, the city seemingly asleep at seven on a Saturday morning. They should be too, but getting her house finished and ready for her to move into was at the top of her priority list.

  A sudden wave of gratefulness rolled over her. She reached out and touched Jason’s bicep, the muscle contracting under her fingers. “Hey, I wanted to thank you for going with me today. I know you could probably be sleeping, but I’m really, really glad you’re here.”

  He nodded and rubbed her fingers with his other hand, a bright smile lifting his cheeks. “Of course. I know how these guys can be, and any time I get to spend with you is good for me.”

  She removed her hand and sat back, knowing she needed to talk to him about the importance of keeping their relationship on a friend level and yet wanting to pretend for a minute that they could be something more. She just let the conversation die around them and enjoyed the soft, warm air blowing out from the vents in front of her.

  “I’m thinking breakfast at the old breakfast klub, if you’re good with it?” He looked over at her and she nodded, her ponytail bobbing behind her.

  She must have looked like an idiot with her hair in a ponytail. Here she was, a successful business shark, and she was meeting with a contractor and one of her employees dressed like she was still in her Kappa Alpha Mu sorority.

  Jason reached over and ran his hand down her ponytail, a glint of lust in his eyes. “I love your hair like this.”

  “Makes me look young.” She shrugged and turned on the radio, a George Strait song filling up the truck. She turned it down as he shook his head.

  “You are young, silly woman. It makes you look relaxed, more welcoming.”

  “Welcoming? I’m not welcoming in a business suit with my hair in a bun?” She laughed at the irony in asking. Dressing that way had helped her get where she was today. No one messed with her, and intimidation was the very essence of her game.

  “No, you’re not welcoming. You’re insanely hot.” He placed his hands back on the wheel of the truck, his fingers gripping it a little as he shifted in his seat.

  She laughed as if he were just making a joke and tried to focu
s on whatever was flying by the window beside her. Her heart raced at the idea of being hot to someone so much younger, especially since Jason was incredibly good looking himself. She wanted to steal a glance at him, but realized how stupid she was being. She’d set boundaries on this relationship and they were going to stay there.

  Besides, what if that had been Kade last night? She needed to find him and see if there was anything left between them. It had been years, but she’d built him up in her mind until she couldn’t possibly just forget about him now that she knew he might be back. She needed to know if a relationship with Kade was possible. If not, she’d move on, but if he was here and free, she needed to try things out with him first.

  If he’s willing.

  True.

  He had ripped out her heart the day they’d said their goodbyes, his leaving for California coming so suddenly. He’d showed up at her house a few days after graduation, while a group of boys from school waited in the Mustang just in front of her house. They’d all yelled their hellos, but she couldn’t respond because the look on Kade’s face told her that whatever forever she’d constructed in her head was simply going to remain just that—in her head. After telling her all about his big plans for fame and fortune, he’d insisted that they’d write and always be best friends.

  She’d played it off and gave him a quick non-committal hug before waving to everyone and walking languidly back into the house.

  She’d never heard from him again.

  All that weekend, she’d cried her eyes out, the idea of them being nothing more than best friends scarring her far beyond what she’d ever expected. While she’d wanted to be happy for him and wish him the best, she couldn’t help but blame her heartache on his insane hopes of going to Hollywood and making it ‘in the big times,’ as he’d put it. He’d left her standing there with the stark realization that, while perhaps she was in love, he’d never seen her as anything more than a buddy.

 

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