How in the hell did things get so twisted?
I swear, this is just like Fenton.
Fly by the seat of his . . . well, hormones, I guess, with no real regard for anyone else.
Walking through the streets of the Lateral, I try to let the anger go, but it’s so hard. I don’t want to be a third wheel in this mess. I don’t want to feel like the odd man out in this situation.
“Everything okay, Trae? You look a bit upset,” Lane says, edging nearer to me from somewhere. No clue where, since I honestly wasn’t paying that much attention.
“No Lane, everything’s shit,” I mutter, running a hand through my hair.
“Wanna talk about it?” she asks, raising a dark eyebrow.
“Not really.”
“Come on, Trae. It can’t be that bad.”
“Everything is falling apart, and I don’t know what to do. I’m honestly blindsided here,” I say, shrugging.
“Well, then let me give you some unsolicited advice,” she begins. “I’m gonna wager it’s about Fenton and your move. Possibly about Kani? Am I right?”
I stop walking to gape at her.
“How did you—?”
She shrugs. “I’ve seen the two of them together these past couple weeks. And even more so in the past few days. Honestly, I’m surprised it took them this long to get together.”
“Really?” I snort. “They couldn’t be more opposite. How in the hell would you think they’d get together?”
“They might be opposites, but if you stop to really watch, they complement each other more than they compete. I don’t know why, they just do.”
I roll my eyes.
“Trust me Trae, they’d be good for one another. Kani needs some humor in her life. Fenton needs a little grounding. It’s perfect.”
“Alright, match-maker Lane,” I snicker.
“Look, you don’t have to take my word for it. Just watch them when they think noone’s looking. It’s written across their features. I’ve never seen either of them light up the way they do when they’re around each other.”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll see what I can do,” I mutter, rolling my eyes.
“That’s all I’m saying,” she grins, patting my shoulder. “Things will work out. You’ll see.”
“I sure hope you’re right. Because it feels like it’s all falling apart,” I say, my eyebrows furrowing despite my best efforts to be open.
“Trust me,” she winks.
Without another word, she turns and heads off.
I sigh, feeling more deflated than angry. Could she be right? Am I just being too self-centered to notice how happy Fenton really is?
Dammit.
Over the next few hours, I wander the streets of the city, trying to figure out if I should say yes or no. It’s a hard decision because I don’t really have the kind of experience with this to come to a logical conclusion.
I’ve never met anyone I’ve clicked with—not like that. No one I’d be willing to derail my entire trajectory simply to be with them. None of it makes any sense.
Taking a deep breath, I have a seat on one of the benches along the road.
I know I told Lane I’d try to see how they interact together, but I’m not gonna go outta my way to spy on my best friend. That’s just plain weird.
Besides, it’s not like it’s really gonna make a whole helluva lot of difference. I’ve seen the two of them together. Kani’s a domineering, obnoxious woman who simply wants to control things. Has some sort of control complex, I’m sure.
Hell, I’d probably be doing Fenton a favor by actively trying to steer him away from Kani, not help him run toward her.
My instincts are screaming to say hell no and be done with it. If Fenton wants to start a life with Kani, he should be able to, I suppose. But it doesn’t mean I have to suffer for it, right? I shouldn’t need to watch him go down in a ball of flames.
The more I think about it, the more concrete the decision is in my mind.
No.
The answer will be thanks, but no thanks.
As if a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders, I sink into the decision with some relief. Making my way back to Landry’s, I’m finally ready to give them the news. I need to get there quickly so I can deliver the verdict before I lose my nerve. God knows Fenton has a way of helping me do that.
Pushing past the crowds, I come up to Landry’s place, but there on the front steps, Kani and Fenton are seated. They look engrossed in conversation and whatever they’re discussing has Fenton’s face lit like the tidally-locked sun.
Taking a step back into the shadows, I watch him explain something in detail to her, complete with hand gestures and all sorts of bizarre facial expressions.
But that’s not all—she’s laughing at his stupidity. Actually laughing.
Then she starts talking to him with the same bizarrely excited gestures. I’ve never seen Kani excited, let alone happy to talk to anyone.
My heart sinks as she leans in and hugs him around the neck. As they pull back, their eyes lock and of course Fenton doesn’t skip a beat. He closes the gap and places a hand on her neck to pull her to him.
Casting my gaze to the stones at my feet, I bite my lip.
I hate when Lane’s right.
Maybe they are good for one another. How could I take that all away, just for me?
Sighing deeply, I walk toward them both.
“For phugsake, she can have my room,” I mutter, pushing my way past the two of them and into Landry’s.
Chapter 9
Runa
My mouth gapes open and I take a step back.
~They took your blood, too? Why?
Baxten shrugs.
~Hell if I know. But Runa—I’ve never seen anything like that . . . I dunno, that robotic creature before. And believe me, I’ve seen all of the Helix’s mechanisms, robots, AI—everything. This was new.
~What do you think this means?
Baxten chews on his lower lip. Taking a deep breath, he steps forward, placing his hands squarely at my shoulders.
~It means be careful. You’ve poked at something and you might not like the response you’re about to get.
My eyes widen, but I nod in agreement.
~Should I be worried? Or scared?
Baxten sighs.
~I don’t know. Maybe? I’ve never seen a response like this.
For the first time in all my life, anxiety and fear creep into being. They taint my next moves and I freeze on the spot. What do I do? Do I drop my request? Or am I too far into it to let go now? Would they hurt me?
~Don’t look so worried. I’m sure it’s nothing too bad. You need to go face whatever is coming. But don’t be surprised if it’s not the answer you were hoping for. I’m sorry, Runa. I told you the Helix is never wrong in their professional placements.
Inhaling a ragged breath, I shift my stance.
~Yeah, yeah, I know. I guess I better go in there to face what comes next.
~Good idea. The sooner you get this sorted, the better.
Baxten opens the door to the Helix, ushering me inside first. We continue along the corridors in silence, making our way to the Professions Department on complete autopilot. Along the way, alerts, reminders, and the typical barrage of to-do’s assault my mind.
When we reach the doorway, Baxten turns to face me.
~You got this. Just . . . let them know you were kidding or something. Maybe they’ll just write it off as you being a kid. I mean, you’re only sixteen, after all.
My heart clenches at his words, but perhaps he’s right. I don’t know what’s going on and if they’re willing to practically attack my brother for his blood, too . . . What else are they capable of?
~Yeah, okay.
~Good luck. Come find me when you’re done. I want to know what happened.
I nod, casting him a quick wave before I open the door and walk inside the small enclosure.
The girl from the first day—Bianca, my memory ba
nk recalls—is again behind the desk. She lifts her bored gaze, does a double take, and stands up quickly.
Without a word, she urges me forward with her circular hand gesture.
My feet move of their own accord, drawing me to her as she leans across the counter separating the waiting room and her desk.
Getting as close as she can, I feel her breath against my cheek as she whispers in my ear, “I found an override.”
Shaking my head, I step back. “You . . . Wait—what?”
Surprised by her words and to hear her actual voice, I can’t help but stare at her in awe.
“You’ve got a temporary permit to study outside,” she whispers.
“But . . . how?”
Bianca shakes her head. “Don’t worry about that. It’s not important.”
She reaches behind the wall and pulls out a small badge. It’s nondescript, but the word PERMIT is written across the circular metal pin. There are no flashing sequences, or moving components to the badge, like I’ve seen with the official ones. But it stands out, none the less.
Reaching out, she places it in the palm of my hand and closes my fingers around it.
“If anyone approaches you, tell them you received the PERMIT from the Professions Department and leave it at that,” she says, tipping her head toward the badge. “Don’t worry about wearing it, because it won’t technically get you into any area you can’t already go to. But be sure to have it on your person. Got it?”
“Got it,” I nod in return. “How long is this good for?”
She glances over her shoulder toward the space behind her. Who knows what’s back there or how many other people are within earshot.
“It’s good until you receive your official appointment from us. The only thing it’s really good for is that it’s tied to your aptitudes,” she says in a low hush. “And it will—never mind.”
Her words are so fluent and uninterrupted. Even I can’t speak as well, and I continue to practice all the time.
Taking a quick breath, I clutch the badge in my closed fist. The cool metal throbs against my palm, making me feel uneasy.
“Does this mean they’ll . . . consider my request once my official appointment comes about?” I ask, trying to match her fluency.
Bianca’s face flashes through a few different expressions before she finally says, “Your aptitudes will definitely show the Helix there’s room for a new Professional Appointment.”
Something in her stature, the secrecy surrounding our exchange and the fact she’s willing to speak, rather than use the eLink continues to gnaw at me.
“This is sanctioned, right?” I say, narrowing my eyes.
Swallowing hard, Bianca takes a deep breath.
“I—it will be.”
“So, it’s not?” My eyes widen.
“Trust me. This is the only way to get your request considered. Take it or leave it. It makes no difference to me,” she says, shrugging. The air of urgency she’d been putting off drops at her feet and she begins to take on the nonchalance she portrayed when I first met her.
My insides clench and I teeter on the edge between concern and acceptance.
Should I just let it go? Hand back the badge and say thanks, but I’ll take my chances with the proper order of things?
There’s just one problem with that . . .
Now there’s hope—a glimmer of actual hope—I may one day be able to officially study the trees and the world outside. In the meantime, I could be out there, proving to the Helix how much there is to learn. The benefits of studying the planet.
I open my hand, peering at the tiny metal badge as I allow myself to envision my new life if I accept the permit—live it for a moment. See myself outside each day, taking notes, providing details on the plant life, the animals.
It could be amazing.
But at what cost?
Slipping back into her seat, Bianca’s eyes meet mine with quiet ambivalence.
I bite my lip, my hand shaking as I decide between thrusting the badge back at her or walking out with it.
She waits patiently, slowly raising an eyebrow.
“But are you sure—?” I begin.
“Deadly,” she says, her facial expression flat.
Nodding to myself, I once again close my fingers around the badge and walk out the door.
Chapter 10
Traeton
“Are ya sure you don’t mind us sharing a space?” Fenton asks for the hundredth time.
“Of course I mind . . . but I’ll live with it,” I say, adjusting my grip on the last basket of miscellaneous items Kani wanted us to bring back to our new safe haven. I shoot Fenton a smirk.
“It’s no’ tha’ I don’t love tha idea of hangin’ out wit ya, but I don’ wan’ ya pissed at me for all time, either. I mean, yer the one who wanted ta come ou’ here in the firs’ place,” he says, adjusting the yellow glasses on his face.
“I’m not pissed. Besides, maybe it’ll be fun. At least we’re all at the Haven together and not stuck at the Lateral,” I say, “or worse, me stuck here alone.”
“Tha Haven? Tha’ wha’ we callin’ it now?” Fenton says, shooting me a sideways glance.
“Yeah. Seems like a fitting name, doesn’t it?” I grin. “Our little safe haven away from the chaos of the real world.”
Fenton’s lips curl into a semi-smile.
“Yeah, s’pose it is. Wonder wha’ Kani’ll think of tha name.”
“Knowing Kani, she’ll hate it. But then again, what’s new?” I chuckle.
“C’mon now, she’s no’ tha’ bad,” Fenton says, snickering.
“She’s totally that bad,” I laugh. “To anyone not you.”
Fenton scratches at his spiky blonde hair. “Hmph.”
“It’s all good, Fenton. I wouldn’t have agreed to let her come along if I thought she was completely insufferable. She’s . . . she makes you happy and honestly, it’s all that matters. I’ll have my missions and whatnot for Delaney, anyway. So at least I’ll be able to get a reprieve if she gets to be too much to contend with.”
“Well, gee, thanks, Trae,” he says, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, come on. Doesn’t it mean something that I want you to be happy? Even if it means having to deal with Kani on a damn near daily basis.”
“Yeah, s’pose,” Fenton agrees. “I just wish the two of you could get along.”
“We do—as long as we’re in separate rooms,” I laugh.
Our footsteps echo along the walls of the final twist of the cavern tunnel before we pass through the open area with large pools of running water; our oasis in the midst of all the rock and stone. It’s part of the reason I chose to move this far out from the Lateral. Having running water close—and water that’s not only potable, but moving enough to bathe in without it getting stagnant and gross. It was important. That and the fact the Haven is somewhat close to its own exit point from the cavern system. Hell, it’s closer to an out than the Lateral has, which is definitely a bonus.
The spray from the Oasis’ waterfalls infiltrates my nostrils and I inhale its renewal deeply.
We’re nearly done. This is nearly a reality and I won’t have to continually face my mother and sister . . .
It’s not as though living in the Lateral was bad, per se, but this . . . this will be amazing. At least now I won’t be so close to everything trying to suffocate me. Or everyone.
I shake my head, willing away the memories.
Neither my mother or sister have said anything to me, but I can feel it in their cold stare when I’m in the vicinity. They blame me . . . and they should.
“So, now all we need ta do is find a delectable woman fer ya ta ge’ yer hands on,” Fenton says, grinning widely.
I snort.
“That’s the least of my concerns. Now that we’re up here, I have responsibilities to Delaney and her team. I gotta be the eyes and ears on this end of the cavern . . . and topside. That’s gotta come first and I doubt it will sit well with a
nyone besides Lane. Not to mention, kinda gonna be hard to bump into new people up here.”
“C’mon, Trae. Ya can’t be celibate yer whole life. A guy’s go’ needs—even you,” Fenton chuckles, shooting his pointer finger at me.
“Not everyone is as controlled by their hormones as you are, Fenton,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Besides, I share a bedroom with you, remember? Who’s gonna wanna be in the midst of that?”
“Hey, I don’t mind being a casual observer,” he grins, wagging his eyebrows up and down.
“Not even—”
I can’t help but chuckle at Fenton’s absurd consistency. He’s certainly unfettered by his humanity and not afraid to show it. Those of us born and raised in the Helix, though—we’re not so lucky. We have years of programming—literally—to unhinge and it’s not easy to let all that go. Dating, women, sex . . . none of those concepts have ever come easy to me.
“Well, it’s about time, guys,” Kani says, her hands on her hips as we round the last turn to the Haven. Her dark hair is pulled tight into a ponytail, emphasizing the shape of her almond eyes.
“I’d love ta see ya carry all this stuff an’ make good time,” Fenton mutters, cocking a golden eyebrow.
“No, you wouldn’t. That would likely mean you were dead,” she says, sticking out her tongue.
“Good poin’—and tha’ would kinda suck,” Fenton laughs, kissing her cheek as he tries to avoid cramming the items in his arms into her rib cage.
Kani’s dark hair falls over her shoulder, shrouding them like a curtain and she giggles.
It’s honestly the strangest thing to hear her giggle like a small kid. The entire time I’ve known Kani, she’s been pretty stoic and damn near mute. Maybe she just didn’t have someone worthy of talking to?
She takes a few of the items out of Fenton’s arms and walks into what is now her bedroom. Setting it on the bed, she walks back to the doorway and reaches for the items in my arms.
Placing the basket in her outstretched hands, I breathe a sigh of relief to finally be done with the move. Plus, I have to admit, the transformation from my room to hers is a bit breathtaking. With the way she decorated, you’d never even know you were in a cavern. The walls are covered with different billowing fabrics, each with their own essence in colors and patterns. She’s even put up a few paintings to add a finishing touch I would never have imagined.
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