Can't Hate You (Second Chance Diaries Book 1)

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Can't Hate You (Second Chance Diaries Book 1) Page 4

by Emma Vikes


  Her eyes fell on Ryan. She looked at him so expectantly with her honey-colored eyes.

  Ryan’s gaze darted from her and then to me. His gaze went back to Faith and he smiled at her. “It’s okay. I don’t really have anything to do today. I’m won’t be starting at the hospital until the wedding is over, so I’m free for the week. Where’s your bike?”

  Squealing, Faith dragged him further inside ‒ waving at the crew as she passed the living room and forcing Ryan to greet them too ‒ then disappearing to the backyard using the door in the kitchen.

  I pursed my lips, unsure how to wrap my mind around the budding friendship my daughter seemed to have with Ryan.

  Beside me, Vanessa nudged my shoulder. “He doesn’t seem half as bad as you paint him out to be,” she commented.

  I narrowed my eyes at my best friend. “Evil queens don’t even look like monsters until you take a good look.”

  Vanessa chuckled and then shook her head at me. “You know what? I think you should cut the guy some slack. I’m sure he came here wanting to apologize for the argument last night.”

  I scoffed. “For all I know, he came here to prove another asshole-like point. I’m aware he’s easy on the eyes, Ness, but don’t fall for that boyish charm. I’ve seen girls being shattered because of Ryan Bell.”

  As much as I wanted to make sure Ryan was taking good care of Faith, I was wrapped up in the photoshoot, so I had Vanessa look in on them from time to time.

  At one point, the two of them came in the kitchen, looking for something to drink.

  I’d been having a break because the photographer wanted to take pictures on the stairs, so they were adjusting the lighting.

  Ryan nodded at me when I came in the kitchen. “Didn’t think that you would be a model, given how short you are.”

  He always picked on my height because I was only 5’2 while he was six foot and he towered over me so much that it amused him. I stopped growing when I was a sophomore in high school and at that time, he and Andrew were in college. Whenever they came home for the holidays, Ryan would note the fact that I hadn’t grown an inch since the last time he saw me… hence the nickname he had for me.

  “The world’s changed, Bell,” I muttered as I poured the both of them a cooler from the fridge, one I’d made earlier before the team arrived.

  Faith tapped me on the arm, smiling widely. “Ryan assembled my bike! He’s trying to teach me how to ride it without the training wheels!”

  I looked over at Ryan sharply. I got Faith a new bike about a week ago and we never really found the time to assemble it since then. I purposely got her one with training wheels because I wanted her to adjust to the size and height of her new bike before asking Andrew or Dad to teach her how to ride it, without the training wheels. It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to teach her myself, it was just a memory I wanted her to have with a male figure in her life.

  That male figure wasn’t Ryan Bell.

  Before I could accuse him about it or even have my say, Ryan raised a hand in defense. “She’s already so good with the training wheels on and she’s itching to learn how to ride without it. I’ll make sure that she doesn’t fall, scrape any limb, or break any bones. I swear it on my license as a doctor.”

  I wanted to come up with an excuse but they’d already called me to continue with the shoot.

  Vanessa lingered with Ryan and Faith for a moment, chatting with Ryan and then refocusing herself on her laptop for work which was mostly emails I needed her to answer for me with brands wanting to sponsor me.

  A couple of minutes later, Ryan and Faith disappeared into the backyard again.

  From my spot on the stairs, I could see out through a huge window overlooking the backyard which gave me a perfect view of what Ryan and Faith were doing. I watched as Faith carefully climbed on the bike while Ryan held it in place. He seemed to be instructing Faith and then with one hand, he held the handle, moved to the back to hold onto the back of her seat and then motioned for her to go.

  Faith was shaky but the firm determination on her face was enough to make me smile. That was my baby girl, always willing to set her mind on the things she wanted to do. A sudden flash popped in front of me and I jumped back, surprised.

  The photographer was in her position, her camera angled at me but I knew she must’ve taken the image when I was watching Ryan and Faith biking. “I’ll give you this picture as a bonus,” she said, smiling at me. She nodded at Ryan and Faith. “I take lots of pictures of my husband and daughter too. It’s the kind of bond that one can’t really sever.”

  Her words took me aback. I knew people were dying to know if I had a man in my life and there was the constant question about Faith’s father too. I never really wanted to divulge anything about my private life and Faith was the only one I shared with them because she was a constant fixture in my posts as I had to attend to her when she was a baby while shooting a video for the channel when I first started.

  “He’s not her Dad,” I said quietly, my eyes fixed on Ryan and Kate. I heard the photographer mumble a quiet apology to me and I smiled, shaking my head. “He’s my brother’s best friend. He just came here to visit her.” It wasn’t the truth but I couldn’t really say Ryan came here to talk to me because we had an argument last night. Saying he was my brother’s best friend made room for rumors to build too. Even though this woman was a professional photographer, misinformation from misinterpretation could easily catch fire when given to the wrong people.

  The photographer nodded her head. “We’re actually done for the day. Want me to show you the pictures?”

  “That would be lovely,” I said but I let her head downstairs first. I lingered in my spot for a while, watching Ryan and Faith interact.

  Faith almost lost her balance but Ryan was quick to steady her before she fell on the ground and she was laughing gleefully.

  I felt a slight pang in my heart, remembering the time when Faith asked me about her father and I couldn’t really give her a coherent answer. I wasn’t sure if she was ready for the truth and if the truth was ready for her. Adam never contacted me, especially after I found out he listed my name in that black notebook. I had no idea of his whereabouts either.

  He didn’t want her and I didn’t know how I was supposed to tell someone as sweet and kind as Faith about how horrible he was.

  When I went downstairs, I joined Vanessa and the photographer on the wooden dining table and studied the pictures she took of me. The pictures were for the makeup brand I’d just collaborated with and everything turned out good, better than I actually expected. The last picture she showed me was the one she last took, the one where I was watching Ryan and Faith.

  It was actually a really good shot because it showed my profile and Ryan and Faith were laughing heartily in the background. I even had a small smile on my face.

  Vanessa nudged me. “Keep that one.”

  Before I could even respond, Vanessa handed the photographer a small flash drive and without a word, the photographer transferred the picture to her, as well as some of mine. Then, she and her team began to pack up and half an hour later, they all left.

  Ryan and Faith were still outside.

  Vanessa told me to change out of the clothes I was wearing because we needed to start setting for the Korean barbeque dinner we were meant to have.

  After I finished changing, I was surprised to see everything was set up on the dining table. Ryan was helping Vanessa and they were casually chatting, as if they’d known each other for so long. “What’s going on?”

  “I asked Ryan to stay for dinner,” Vanessa answered me simply, smirking at me.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. I already didn’t like the idea that he spent a lot of time in my house and yet, he’d been invited for dinner. “And you’re staying?”

  “I still haven’t talked to you,” Ryan responded simply. “I had Faith take a shower first. She was a little sweaty from all the biking.”

  I took in a deep breath and
stared at Ryan, unsure if I should ask the question.

  But when our eyes met, he seemed to understand what I wanted to ask. “She’s getting the hang of it. Her balance is already good but she gets scared whenever I let go of her.”

  Merely nodding, I helped Vanessa turn on the electric grill we were going to use to cook.

  Faith appeared and sat beside Ryan.

  I noted how my daughter seemed drawn to him so easily. I’d always been aware of Ryan’s charisma but I was also aware that kids weren’t his fans.

  Faith seemed to be an exception.

  I put meat on Faith’s plate and watched as she put it inside the lettuce, added kimchi, and then dipped it in the sauce. She loved samgyeopsal and looked forward for our Saturday Korean barbeque dinner with her Aunt Vanessa. Casual conversation went on. It varied between Vanessa and me or her and Ryan but never between me and him.

  When dinner was over, Vanessa volunteered to tuck Faith in bed and read her a bedtime story but I knew she would probably tell Korean drama plots to my daughter until she fell asleep.

  Ryan helped me with the dishes but we did all of them quietly. It wasn’t until we put everything in the dryer when Ryan let out a loud sigh.

  “Why are you still here?” I asked, patting my hands dry with a paper towel then handed it to him.

  He took it without question to dry his own hands. Ryan sighed again and then threw the paper towel in the trash bin. “I came here to talk to you, shortcake, and I still haven’t had that conversation with you.”

  “There’s really nothing we’re meant to talk about. You, me and conversations don’t really work, Ryan.”

  “I’m sorry, shortcake,” he stated quietly while looking at his feet, He took another deep breath and let it out slowly before fixing his green gaze on me, “I’m sorry, Kate.”

  He never called me Kate ever since he started calling me shortcake, so I knew his apology was genuine and it softened me a little. Still, despite the sincerity I could hear in his voice, I couldn’t really bring myself to accept the apology because his words last night stung. I didn’t thrive and raise Faith on my own to have him paint me as such an irresponsible woman.

  I had been an irresponsible teen who got herself knocked up but I pulled my shit together for the sake of my daughter.

  Ryan turned, so he was facing me. “I didn’t mean what I said. I was angry at your accusations and your anger felt misdirected but it didn’t give me the right to retaliate the way I did. I’m really sorry, Kate, that was immature of me.”

  “At least you take responsibility for your immaturity,” I finally said, closing my eyes and sighing before turning to face him too.

  His green eyes looked hooded as they were framed by his thick and dark lashes.

  I chewed on my bottom lip, trying to find the courage to apologize for my part of the argument. “And I’m sorry too. My anger was misdirected and it shouldn’t have been directed at you.”

  It was quiet between the both of us for a moment.

  Ryan chuckled lightly. “We never did this…apologize, I mean.”

  I glanced at him to find him looking at me with this small smile on his face that somehow made me soften even more. It was different from the usual smirk I tended to see plastered on his face and it just made him more…amiable for me. “I hope we don’t make a habit of it. I hope this becomes our truce.”

  Ryan extended his hand for me to shake.

  I took it warily, and shook.

  When we pulled our hands away, Ryan stood up straighter. “I think it’s time for me to leave.”

  “Yeah, I think you stretched your welcome long enough,” I responded lightly and without sounding mean.

  It made him chuckle.

  I followed him out to the front door.

  Ryan lingered on the doorstep for a moment and seemed to be contemplating something. Finally, he turned to look at me. “For what it’s worth, Kate, you did a really good job raising Faith on your own. You made the best decision you ever could in this lifetime, choosing her.”

  4

  Ryan

  “So I never really got the gist of having a rehearsal dinner,” I said in a bored tone as I watched Andrew fumble with his thin grey tie in front of his mirror. We were in his room and I’d been waiting for him to finish getting ready since he came home late to do so and we had little time left before we were expected at the venue of his rehearsal dinner.

  Andrew sighed in defeat and then turned to face me, motioning at his tie. “Help me out here.”

  I stood and fixed his tie. “So really, what’s the point of the dinner? Are we rehearsing the food that we’re meant to eat at the wedding? Because if that’s it, honestly, it’s just pointless.”

  Andrew stepped back when I finished fixing his tie and then turned to look at himself in the mirror to comb his hair. His gaze in the reflection caught mine. “It’s meant for families to meet, get to know each other, and have fun before the wedding.”

  I made a face, still not seeing the necessity of the ordeal. “But…what’s the point? You’ve already met her family. You’ve been together since forever.”

  Andrew turned to look at me. “Why do you keep asking, Ryan?”

  “Well, let’s see, I had to cancel a date with a really attractive, hot nurse in the pediatrics department. I could just bring her along as my date for this event but we both know that your fiancé might not allow me to come in with a plus one that I wasn’t meant to have.”

  He chuckled and then patted me on the cheek lightly as he grabbed his coat. “I’m glad you’re well aware of that.”

  I sighed just as Andrew stepped towards the door, signaling me that it was time for us to leave. “Do I really have to go?”

  Yeah, I know I sounded like a pouty and whiny teenage boy but no one handled my tantrums better than my best friend.

  “You’re my best man, Ryan. You’re like a brother to me and I’ll be upset if you skip this for a hot date.”

  “Look, the brotherhood is admirable but bros don’t cock-block each other.”

  Andrew narrowed his eyes at me.

  I sighed, sluggishly moving forward to exit his room. “And with that said, of course I’m going to this silly event of yours.”

  We used the car I rented since his was already with Mila’s because she took it from him earlier after he arrived from the hospital because hers was at the mechanic shop. When we arrived, there weren’t a lot of guests aside from the entourage for the wedding and their immediate family members. So far, there weren’t any prying aunts and drunk uncles yet.

  Admittedly, it was nice seeing Bob and Lois. I meant to pay them a visit sometime during the week but ended up too busy with that patient, so I caught up with them before the other guests arrived. For the dinner, I was seated next to Kate in a round table. Faith was seated with the other kids while we were seated with two of her aunts, their husbands and kids.

  They already knew who I was because there were a couple of times when I came with the Shaws for their annual family gathering.

  One of her aunts, Olive, leaned close to Kate and said, “Sweetie, you didn’t bring a date?”

  Kate flashed her a tight-lipped smile.

  The question was meant to sound innocent but it didn’t take a genius to figure out what the woman meant.

  Kate turned to her aunt and lightly shook her head. “No. I’m not seeing anyone.”

  Olive leaned back with pursed lips.

  Now, her other aunt, Penelope, piped up, “Oh, sweetheart, I think you should start getting back in the game again. Although, if I may give you an advice, I hope you don’t end up dating a fellow, what do you call yourself again? Influencer…YouTuber?”

  I glanced at Kate.

  She kept a calm composure as she nodded at her aunts. “I run a YouTube channel but yes, I’ll keep that advice in mind, Aunt Penny.”

  “Oh! I’m sure Ryan and Andrew could set you up with a colleague of theirs. A doctor for a boyfriend is a good potent
ial father for Faith, Katie.”

  “Your Aunt Olive’s right, Katie. You should really start looking for a father-figure for Faith. You’re doing so well at the moment but when she becomes a teen, it’ll be a lot to handle for a single mother…”

  “I’m doing fine,” Kate said calmly and then pushed her chair away from the table to give herself room to stand. She flashed her aunts another tight-lipped smile, “and if you’ll excuse me, I need to use the ladies’ room.”

  When she left, both her aunts looked at each other and shook their heads. “She’s over her head. Lois should really give her a talk about raising a child. She thinks she can do it on her own like she’s a superwoman.”

  I grimaced at their conversation and excused myself from the table too. I couldn’t really stand them talking about Kate like that and I wanted to butt in and defend her when she wasn’t there to defend herself but I also was aware that I didn’t really fully know the entire story because I wasn’t there to witness everything. All I had was second-hand information and my own opinion. I didn’t want to sound all high and mighty.

  I stepped outside and spotted Kate sitting on the steps. I sat next to her and nudged her with my shoulder. “Out from some fresh air?”

  “Out to get away from prying aunts,” Kate muttered, still sounding annoyed.

  I couldn’t help but chuckle.

  She turned to me, giving me a sharp look.

  I raised my eyebrows at her. “I had to leave because I didn’t want to listen to their opinions about you.”

  Kate stared at me for a while and then fixed her gaze back to the garden. “Good.”

  I chewed on my bottom lip, my gaze still fixed on her, as I took in her profile. Andrew used to complain a lot whenever someone from Kate’s class had a crush on her and how she would come home from school with a bunch of flowers and chocolates on Valentine’s Day. At that time, she was still in middle school and Andrew had been more protective of her than Bob was.

  As much as I liked to tease Kate and argue with her, I understood why Andrew felt protective over her the way he did and why boys had crushes on her. Kate was attractive ‒ although, not the kind that I preferred ‒ and even if the two of us fought a lot, I was aware of her bubbly personality. It showed on camera too, whenever she posted a video on her channel and every time she failed in a cooking or DIY attempt.

 

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