by K. L. Myers
“We’re in this together, Rocky. Remember when we were kids and Neil stole the beer from the 7-11 around the corner from your house? The cops showed up at your house, and do you remember what happened?”
I nod my head. “Yeah, we all got arrested, and we had to do community service.”
Tim smiles. “Yeah, but what I want you to remember is that we could have given up Neil easily and not have to do community service or even have a record, but we didn’t. We stood together and shared the consequences. This is no different, dude. We’re in it together, whatever you need. Fuck the label if it comes to that.”
Up until that point, I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. When everyone seconds his comments, that weight falls off me and my brothers share in the burden of carrying it. By the time we board our jet, there is no tension left between any of us. Rusty, the prank master, draws a picture of an exploding dick on Michael’s right hand with a sharpie while he sleeps. No one can stop laughing when he wakes up and notices what has happened.
“This shit ain’t funny.” Michael pushes Rusty, causing him to lose balance. “It won’t wash off for days, so every time I grab my junk, I’m going to be looking at a dick wrapped around my dick.”
The rest of the plane ride to Bangkok is quiet, except for the sound of my sticks tapping on the table in front of me once again. Rusty leans over to me and asks, “Why are you afraid of flying?”
Only Cayson and Kathy know the real reason. It’s common knowledge that my parents died in a plane crash, but what no one knows is that it was intentional. The FAA ruled it as a pilot error, but Ellie and I know it was my dad's partner who arranged it all. It wasn’t greed; it was over a disagreement about a client. Dad’s partner was so full of rage that he paid someone to kill my parents and make it look like an accident. It always has me thinking that something like that could happen to me anytime I’m on a plane.
Dad’s partner confessed to both Ellie and me years later when he was dying of cancer. He thought if he exposed the truth, we’d give him absolution. He was so wrong. I can only pray that in the last minutes of his life, he knew what it felt like to know he was going to hell and no one would miss his sorry ass.
I’m not ready to share this information with him, though, so I just shrug. “Parents, they died in a plane crash.” I go back to tapping out a rhythm and tune out everyone around me.
When we land in Bangkok, all I can think about is grabbing a bottle and heading to my room. I know I need to change my way of thinking; that’s when I remember Rusty saying, We’re only as sick as our secrets. The only way to change my way of thinking is to acknowledge my problem.
“CJ, do you and Kayla want to have dinner? Right now, my mind is on finding a bottle and drinking myself into oblivion. I need to be around someone besides Rusty.”
Kayla responds before Cayson. “We’d love to have dinner with you, Rocky.”
30
Kathy
The minute I hung up the phone with Kayla, I knew exactly what I had to do. My heart is broken by the fact that Rocky fucked someone else, but I can’t blame him. I ended things with him. I know I could argue with myself that he should have kept it in his pants if he truly felt the way he said he did, but I had to own my own shit and decide if I am willing to fight for us. It is a simple answer. Yes. I know the real Roger Kohler, and he is worth fighting for.
I have three clients today who I couldn’t cancel, but once those appointments are all wrapped up, I’m turning the rest of my week over to Lela, my assistant. I’ve trained her well enough that I feel comfortable with her handling anything over the next week that could come up. I placed calls early this morning to my clients who were anticipating closing this week. I had to let them know that something had come up, causing me to have to leave town on an emergency, but that I’d only be a phone call away if they needed me, and I could be back home within thirty-six hours if they truly needed me to be.
My last client of the day is Brooke Cooper. She was in town last month from New York City, visiting her sister, and fell in love with the Sedona area. Last week, I received a call from her to set up an appointment to discuss a vacation home here in Arizona. She was very specific with her details. The property had to be on at least ten acres and secluded from everyone. She required at least five bedrooms and no less than six thousand square feet with views of the Red Rocks. Only two properties are available that meet her requirements, and I emailed the specifics to her last week. One is El Rojo Ranch, which has been on the market for some time and just recently reduced its price by a million dollars and is currently a steal at just over fourteen million. Since this property is just off State Route 89A, she would have views of the Red Rocks from every window of the home. It sits on one hundred and seventy-three acres, which includes a six-thousand-seven-hundred-square-foot home with a three-thousand-five-hundred-square-foot guesthouse. It is absolutely beautiful with a ton of future potential. The only other option is Valley Rossa. Though it only has ten acres, this home has seven bedrooms and fourteen bathrooms and is over fifteen thousand square feet. It is currently listed for twelve and a half million. Though it doesn’t have a guesthouse, it has an attached in-law apartment with a separate entrance. Valley Rossa is my choice between the two. It is an entertainer’s dream. If it were my place, I’d entertain and have parties there all the time. Game room, theater room, and three resort-style pools around the property. The views of the Red Rocks are outstanding, and the property comes with its own security gatehouse and fully functional security team if the new owners want to renew the contract the existing owner has.
Lela buzzes me to let me know my clients have just arrived. Brooke Cooper is a stunning woman. Her style is definitely New York City versus Los Angeles royalty. Whereas most of my clients’ wives are younger and dressed to the nines, leaving me to believe the words ‘high maintenance’ best describe them, Brooke is slightly older. She enters the room oozing confidence. Every movement is precise, and she gives off a vibe that says, “Don’t mess with me.” She is elegant, sophisticated, and beautiful. When she introduces her husband, Boyd, she does it with pride. Though you can tell she is an independent woman, her husband's demeanor dominates her. I reach out to shake Boyd's hand, becoming completely speechless when he hands me his business card and I look down to read the words ‘CEO Warner Music Group.’ It’s as if God is sending me a message.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Brooke starts off, “but Boyd is pressed for time, so he’s chartered a helicopter to take us to Sedona to see the properties. We’ve got a car waiting at the airport for our arrival, so if you don’t mind giving us the addresses, we’ll have it sent ahead to the driver.”
“Of course, I totally understand.” Even though I said the words, I honestly didn’t expect to fly to Sedona.
Just as I thought, Valley Rossa is a big hit, so much so that the Coopers decide to purchase it right there on the spot. They don’t need to think it over or get back to me. There is no negotiating over the price. Brooke agrees that it is a steal at the asking price, and they are confident that it is the one. Full cash price with a close of escrow in three weeks.
“Just in time for our annual charity benefit, Boyd.” Brooke smiles at her husband. “It will be perfect. Plus, it’s time we start giving those west coast executives something to bitch about.”
Boyd’s serious demeanor changes for a brief moment as he explains. “Every year, my competitor at HUB Records in LA challenges me to see who can raise more money for a selected charity. Then we let our wives go at it and throw a benefit ball.”
“Yeah, and this year, with these amazing views, I’m going to kick their asses with the best event ever.” Brooke raises her fist and pounds the air in front of her.
“Wow, that sounds amazing.” I smile at both of them. “Once we get back to my office, I’ll get the paperwork drawn up for you to sign, and you’ll be on your way toward throwing the best event ever.”
I never mix business with my person
al life, but there may be a possibility that I will need to cross that line in the near future and Boyd Cooper may come in handy, so I tuck his business card in a safe place. When I hung up the phone with Kayla the last night, I knew Cayson was less than pleased with me. Though I wasn’t solely to blame for what happened in Singapore, I did play a part in the disaster. I was gut-wrenched to hear there was a strong possibility the band would lose their label, and I’m confident that if that happens, Rocky will be devastated.
Suitcase in hand, I board the Boeing 777 on Cathay Airlines to Bangkok. I’ve got twenty-two hours to decide what I’m going to say to Rocky. I take my seat and watch as the passengers board. Two women in their mid-twenties board with an older gentleman. They take the seats behind me while the gentleman accompanying them takes a seat across the aisle. Even though business class offers extra space, it is close enough that I can hear the two women talking. I hear one of them tell the other that she is grateful that her father let her come along on his business trip and bring a friend with her. The other gal replies that she’s even more impressed that they were able to score tickets to tomorrow’s Razor’s Edge concert, which immediately has my ears perked on high alert.
Girl number one says to girl number two, “You heard they almost had to cancel their concert because the drummer almost killed himself, right?”
Girl number two quickly replies, “No, I hadn’t heard that. Is that what your dad said?”
I lean closer to the edge of my seat to make sure I’ve heard them correctly. Girl number one continues, “Yeah, my dad said that his employee had to act quickly to keep it out of the papers and make sure everyone kept it quiet, but unfortunately, one of the staff at the hotel tried to sell photos to one of the rag magazines.”
Girl number two snickers quietly. “Your dad’s PR firm always has juicy gossip.”
Girl number one quickly replies, “Don’t ever let my dad know that I tell you everything. Shit, he’d take away my platinum for that.”
Both girls laugh for a bit but then become serious. “You know, Dad thinks the band would be ten times better if they didn’t have a drug addict for a drummer. He says it’s a shame that one looser is going to destroy the whole group. Dad thinks they should just dump his ass and find someone else.”
My blood begins to boil in my veins. I clench my hands a few times and grit my teeth until my jaw begins to hurt. Mind your own business, a voice inside my head tells me, but I can’t help myself, and before I know it, I’m standing and leaning over my seat looking both girls in the eyes. “You have no idea what you’re talking about, so I suggest you keep your mouths shut and stop gossiping about something you know nothing about, or I’ll be more than happy to share with your father the vile bullshit the two of you are spewing.”
Both girls are taken aback by my outburst. Girl one raises an eyebrow at me and is about to speak when the attendant walks up. “Ma’am, can you please take your seat? We’ve already closed the door, and we are ready to push back away from the gate.”
I smile politely at the attendant and then point a finger at the two bitches. “I suggest you think twice before speaking again.” Then I turn around and sit back down, count to ten, and close my eyes.
31
Kathy
I had twenty-two hours to figure out exactly what I want to say to Rocky when I see him, but as the wheels touch down, I still don’t have a clue what I’m going to say or do. As the two girls walk past me, they both raise their middle fingers to me, which only irritates me more. Not only am I a tangled mess inside, now I am a pissed-off tangled mess inside.
My original plan had been to fly in, talk to Rocky, visit with my brother, catch the concert, then fly back home. But the more and more I sat on the plane and stewed, the more I decided that spending a few extra days might not be a bad idea. That is as long as Rocky is happy to see me. All my planning could be flushed down the toilet if he tells me to go home, which could very likely happen. I’m halfway to the hotel when my phone rings with an incoming call from Kayla, asking me how long before I arrive at the hotel.
“What, no, how was your flight?’” I snap back and wait for her response.
“Sorry, it’s just that Cayson, Rusty, Rocky, and I are headed to dinner, and I wanted to see if you wanted to come.” Kayla’s voice is quiet when she speaks.
“Kayla, I’ve been on a plane for twenty-two hours. Right now, I want a hot bath and a decent night’s sleep. Can I just meet with you tomorrow at Rajamangala Stadium?” I pause for a moment to pay the cabbie and then continue, “Leave me an all-access pass with the concierge, okay? I’m too tired to even think straight right now, and why are you whispering?” I ask her as I stride up to the counter to check in.
At first, Kayla tries to play off that she isn’t whispering, that it must be the phone service here in Thailand, but I call her on her shit quickly, and she finally confesses that she doesn’t want Rocky to hear her because she hasn’t told everyone that I’m coming. She is afraid that Rusty will give Rocky a heads up and upset him. Now, I’m beginning to regret my decision to come, after all.
“Bye, Kayla,” I tell her as I disconnect and then turn off my phone, so no one can bother me for the rest of the night.
I watch Rocky play from behind the stage. The gray T-shirt he’s wearing is soaked with sweat and clinging to his broad chest. Just the sight of his arms rising in the air and then falling down on the drums takes my breath away. I’ve always been so amazed when I watch him; today is no different than the many times before, only it’s not the same Rocky I’ve watched in the past. His eyes are hollow, his brows scrunched in concentration, and his body is tense as he plays. All the passion he once had is gone as he goes through the motions of his job. It breaks my heart to see a once larger-than-life man reduced to just existing to get by. This isn’t the Rocky who America knows and loves; this is my Roger struggling to live up to everyone’s expectations, and I know it’s just a matter of time before he crumbles. Rusty won’t be able to stop the storm that is brewing inside Rocky, and when it finally hits, I’m not sure there will be any survivors. Now more than ever, I know where my place is. It’s beside Roger, helping him become the Rocky Kohler he once was. That is if he’ll still let me.
32
Rocky
My arms are aching. They feel like overcooked, limp noodles. It takes every bit of concentration I have to focus on finishing this set. I don’t want to be here anymore, so I’m counting down the performances until I can finally call it quits and take some time to regroup and decide if this is what I want to continue doing with my life.
I’m not sure I can fully explain it to the guys, and aside from Cayson, I’m not sure they would even care. Playing isn’t enough anymore to curb the hunger running through my veins these days. I got a taste the other night of what it would be like to just end it all, and I don’t know how much longer I can fight it off. I refuse to be one of the statistics ever again, so when this tour is over, I’m heading home to confess my sins from Singapore to Kathy and beg her to forgive me and give us a chance.
My mind briefly wanders back to the month I spent with her. I miss a beat, quickly snapping me out of my trance and back to reality. Luckily, I’ve played these songs so many times, my body is on autopilot, but I know Cayson will have caught my slip, and he’ll call me on my shit the minute this song is through.
“Not bad.” Cayson looks at the guys. “You guys want to run through it again, or are we good?”
I stay silent as the others speak up and want to call it a wrap. Cayson looks in my direction. “You good, Rocky, or do you need one more run-through? You were a little off on Rocking.”
“I’m good, Cayson. We don’t need another run-through.” I’m sliding off my seat, ready to get the hell out of here as I say the words. My heart stops the second I see her face behind the rigging. Could it really be her, here in Bangkok? My brain wills my feet to move faster as I close the distance between us. Kathy is leaping into my open arms when
I reach her. I pull her tight to my chest, and all the tension of the last few days leaves me. My hand reaches up to cup the back of her head as I place a kiss on the top of her head and then whisper in her ear. “Are you really here in my arms? Tell me this isn’t a dream.” My pulse quickens, my heart beating faster, when I hear her tell me she’s really here and this is not a dream.
I stand there holding her for what seems like forever. The rest of the guys have long gone, except for Kayla and Cayson. The two of them stand center stage speaking with Rusty and Sean. I can’t hear their conversation, and I don’t care what it is about. Right now, life has finally given me a light of hope. I squeeze Kathy tighter, hoping my hold is tight enough to keep her with me after I tell her what happened. I need to get it off my chest now, here in this stadium, so when she leaves, I can leave it all behind and chalk it up to a bad show. I can’t risk her leaving after being in my bed, because that will destroy me.
“Bright eyes, I don’t know what miracle brought you to me, but God, am I glad you’re here.” I pull back and look her in the eyes. “I need to confess something to you and—”
My speech is cut off, and my heart drops before it soars at her words. “I already know. I’m not gonna lie and say it didn’t hurt when I found out, but I don’t have the right to be mad. We weren’t together. Let’s not talk about it. It’s the past. Let's leave it there. Can we just move forward?” she asks.
My lips crush down on hers as I swing us around in a circle. Her words are music to my ears. When our kiss breaks, I look over to the foursome still standing center stage. “You all ready to go? If not, you’ll be looking for a ride because I’m taking my girl back to the hotel.”