by Marie Force
"I was terribly unfair to you, and I'm sorry." He squeezed her hand. "Do you forgive me?"
"Of course I do. I just wish there was something I could do for you."
"There is one thing you can do."
"What's that?"
"Let me take you to dinner. You look beautiful, and we have reservations. What do you say?"
"Sure," she said with a smile. "Let's go to dinner."
* * *
Ted drove home after a delightful evening with Kelly. They'd done a lot of laughing, which had helped to cheer him up. He was grateful to have found such a good friend in her, especially since she had every right to be furious with him. Instead, she had offered only support and compassion, which was what he needed. How he wished he had fallen for her, rather than a girl he couldn't have.
The more he thought about it, the more he realized what a terrible situation he was in. How was he going to spend time with his friends without revealing his feelings for Caroline? How would he ever be able to stand being around her, knowing he could never have her? They were spending next weekend together on Block Island. How was he supposed to get through that?
Well, I've got eight days to get it together and stop thinking about her, he thought. I'm a grown man—a doctor for God's sakes. I need to stop acting like a teenager in love.
His brain had a firm grasp on the situation. Now, if he could only get his heart onboard he'd be all set.
Chapter 9
Ted rested the garment bag containing his tuxedo on top of Parker's and slammed the trunk of the Mercedes closed.
Parker locked his Porsche and got into Ted's car. "Top up or down?"
"Down," Ted said.
"What time is the ferry again?" Parker asked as he flipped a switch to take the top down.
"Eleven forty-five."
"I talked to Chip an hour ago. They're on their way."
"I need coffee." Ted was grumpy after pulling an all-nighter at the hospital so he could leave for the weekend.
"Did you get any sleep last night?"
"About three hours, in fits and spurts."
"Want me to drive?"
"Nah, I'm kind of keyed up."
After they had stopped for coffee, they headed south on I-93 on their way to I-95. "What a fucking week from hell this has been," Ted said once he had consumed half of his coffee.
"What happened?"
"It would probably be easier to tell you what didn't happen. First of all, we lost a six-year-old with a brain tumor who should've died three months ago. Those poor parents have been through it. Then we broke our single-week record for new diagnoses. And the highlight of this suck-ass week would have to be my seventeen-year-old bone marrow transplant patient, Pilar, who's done exceptionally well for six months." He glanced over at Parker. "Keeping them healthy for the first year is critical, so we put them in lock down at home to minimize the risk of viral infection. She was six months away from being able to rejoin society when she snuck out of the house to meet her boyfriend."
"You can kind of understand that, though, can't you?"
"Of course I can, but unfortunately for her the boyfriend's younger brother came down with the chicken pox two days later."
"What does that have to do with her?"
"The varicella virus, which causes chicken pox, can be lethal for transplant patients. And she'd never had the chicken pox."
"Oh," Parker winced.
"Exactly. So she's back in the ICU fighting for her life. Thus my night without sleep."
"God, what a bummer. She did what any kid would do, and that's what she gets for it."
"She's not any kid, though, and she knew that." Ted banged his hand on the steering wheel in frustration. "Her family has already been through so much and now this. The boyfriend was sobbing his head off in the hallway last night."
"Poor guy. Is she going to make it?"
"I don't know," Ted said, dejected. "I shouldn't even be going this weekend, and if it was any other occasion, I would've stayed in Boston. But I've got good backup, and if I didn't get the hell out of there, I might've killed someone."
Parker chuckled. "And of course murder kind of flies in the face of hospital policy, doesn't it?"
Ted laughed. "Just a bit. Sorry to unload like that. It's just so damned frustrating sometimes. We're already fighting a big enough battle without patients doing stupid shit that gives their disease the advantage."
"Does it happen often?"
"Fortunately, no. Most of them are so terrified of a recurrence they follow our orders to the letter. But it's harder with kids, especially teenagers. It's in their nature to be rebellious. It's so much harder on their parents than it is on the parents of the little ones. Bigger kids, bigger issues. Then toss cancer in on top of it, and well, you get the picture."
The only good thing about the week from hell was it had left Ted with almost no time to stew about Caroline. Unfortunately, he hadn't had much time to prepare himself to see her again, either.
"These stories are enough to keep me from ever having kids," Parker said.
"That's me, a regular dose of birth control."
Parker laughed.
"The good news is we're talking about a very, very small percentage. Most kids are robustly healthy."
"Do you ever see yourself with kids?"
Ted glanced over at him. "Not really, but then again I feel like I have a hundred kids at any given time. What about you?"
Parker shrugged. "I think about it sometimes. I can't believe we're all pushing forty with none of us married and no kids. We won't be having fortieth anniversary parties at this rate."
"We'll be in nursing homes by our twenty-fifth anniversaries."
"Still, sometimes I wonder if we aren't missing out on something the rest of the world seems to take for granted."
"I think we've had a lot of fun, and if the right girls come along and we decide to get married we'll do it with no regrets—unlike all the poor slobs who get married too young and wind up sorry."
"That's true."
"Why so pensive today? Are the divorce wars getting you down?"
Parker shrugged. "I've just been thinking about it lately. That's all."
"Any particular reason?"
Parker hesitated, as if there was something he wanted to say. "No. Not really. But between my marriages on the rocks and your sick kids, it's no wonder we're both still single."
Ted wasn't fooled by Parker's attempt to change the tone of the conversation. "Are you sure everything's okay?"
"Yeah."
Ted decided not to push. "Got any good divorce stories?"
"The best one recently is the battle over a one-hundred fifty thousand dollar show poodle."
"You're kidding me, right?"
"Oh, how I wish I was," Parker sighed. "I've seen people give less consideration to their kids than this stupid dog is getting. Gertrude Givens Allister Von Hinkle is derailing the whole settlement."
Ted laughed. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh."
"Feel free. Believe me, we've laughed our asses off at the pictures of the puff ball in question."
"What are the people like?"
"Just what you'd imagine the owners of a show poodle to be like. They say people start to look like their dogs after a while, and I can definitely confirm it's true."
"Which one's your client?"
"Mummy."
"Mummy?"
"That's what she calls herself when she refers to the dog. I'm not making this up."
Ted laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes. "For this you suffered through law school."
"No shit."
"So what did I miss last weekend?" Ted told himself he was not fishing for information about Caroline. "Anything fun?"
"It was kind of quiet, actually. Just me, Chip, and Elise."
"Smitty wasn't there?" Ted asked, shocked.
"No, he stayed in New York because Caroline didn't feel like going. The ankle was giving her a bad time, I guess.
"
Ted's stomach churned. "I can't believe Smitty missed a weekend in Newport."
"I know. Chip was saying he's never seen him this gone over a girl. She's really nice, though. Nothing like Cherie, thank God."
"Yeah," Ted said softly. "Nothing like Cherie."
"You liked Caroline, didn't you?"
Startled, Ted looked over at him. "Of course I did. Why?"
"No reason. I just wondered."
"I liked her," Ted said, uttering what had to be the understatement of the century.
* * *
Chip, Elise, Smitty, and Caroline were waiting for them when Ted and Parker arrived at the ferry dock in the fishing port of Point Judith on Rhode Island's southern coast. Throngs of people, cars, bicycles, and dogs on leashes waited in line to board the ferry for the fifty-five minute trip to Block Island.
"Hey," Chip said. "We thought you guys were going to miss it."
"We hit traffic in Providence," Parker said.
"How's the ankle?" Ted asked Caroline, making a supreme effort to hide the burst of emotion that assailed him the moment he saw her.
"Better. The worst part is the itching inside the cast. It's making me nuts."
Parker and Ted added their stuff to the stack of bags in the back of Chip's Land Rover, which they were taking on the ferry.
Smitty held up the tickets he had bought for everyone. "We'll meet you up top," he said to Chip and Elise, who were waiting to drive the car onto the ferry.
Ted watched what seemed to be a well-practiced maneuver as Smitty tucked Caroline's crutches under his arm and bent to pick her up for a piggyback ride.
"Want me to take the crutches?" Ted asked.
"I've got 'em," Smitty said. "We've got this down to a science. Right, babe?"
"That's right." She looked at Ted as she said it.
Smitty and Parker were talking as they walked onto the ferry and didn't notice that Ted couldn't take his eyes off her.
Chapter 10
They went upstairs to the ferry's top deck to one of the long rows of benches. Smitty led them to a corner away from the crowd that had gathered in the middle. By the time Chip and Elise joined them, Ted was sprawled out on one of the benches with his Red Sox ball cap pulled down over his eyes.
He heard Parker tell their friends that he'd had less than three hours of sleep the night before. They were used to the catnaps Ted often took after hectic nights at the hospital and loved to tease him about the wide array of conditions under which he could sleep.
Ted let them think he was sleeping, but what he really needed was a breather to get his emotions under control after seeing Caroline again. He now knew for certain that she was always going to have the same effect on him, and somehow he had to find a way to deal with the fact that he was in love with her but couldn't have her.
He dozed but kept half an ear on the conversation. Smitty suggested they go down to the bar for Bloody Marys, and offered to bring one back for Caroline. Ted was aware the others had gone, and he was alone with her.
A few minutes later, his cell phone vibrated in the cargo pocket of his khaki shorts, and he reached for it without sitting up.
"Duffy," he said.
"Ted, it's Kelly." He could hear tears in her voice. "I thought you'd want to know we lost Pilar."
Resting his forearm over the hat covering his eyes, he asked, "When?"
"Thirty minutes ago."
Ted ached when he thought of Pilar's parents and the terrible ordeal they had been through only to lose their daughter to the chicken pox.
After a long moment of silence, Kelly said, "Ted? Are you all right?"
"Yeah."
"I know you're upset, but try to have a good weekend. There was nothing you could've done."
Ted appreciated that she knew exactly what he was thinking. "Thanks, Kel."
"How are things going with your situation there?"
"Same as before. Thanks a lot for calling."
She must have sensed he couldn't talk about it because all she said was, "Okay. Take care."
Ted flipped the phone closed and held it to his chest as he absorbed yet another blow in what was shaping up to be his single worst month as a doctor.
"Is everything all right?" Caroline asked.
Ted took a deep breath and sat up, pushing his cap back so he could see her. "Lost another patient."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm starting to sound like a cliché, but this has been one hell of a month."
She slid her hand across the expanse of blue bench between them.
He glanced up at her green eyes and couldn't stop himself from taking the comfort she offered.
Her fingers wrapped around his, sending a jolt of desire shooting through Ted. They held hands and gazed into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. Everything and everyone disappeared.
"You've got me all tied up in knots, Caroline," he said softly.
"I wondered if it was just me."
"It's not just you."
"I almost didn't come this weekend, but when I tried to bail out—of everything, not just the trip—Smitty got so upset. He's been so looking forward to the party, and I didn't want to ruin it for him. I'm going to talk to him after the weekend."
Ted tugged his hand free and stood up to lean over the railing as the ferry steamed past the bluffs on Block Island's north end. When he had gotten a hold of himself, he turned to her. "I love him. Not like a friend, like a brother. He's family to me. He doesn't have anyone but us."
"He loves you, too. All of you, but you in particular and your family."
"And that's exactly why nothing can ever happen between you and me. He would never get over that kind of betrayal."
"I know," she said, the agony of the situation apparent on her face. "I really do, but I've just been wondering, what if this is it? What if you're the one for me? The one I've been waiting for?"
Ted winced as a burst of pain slashed through him. "Caroline…"
They heard Smitty before they saw him.
"See, I told you he'd be up by the time we got back," Smitty said to Chip as they carried Bloody Marys for Ted and Caroline.
Ted took the drink from Smitty. "Thanks."
Smitty lifted his drink in a toast. "Here's to good friends, good times, and good liquor."
Ted raised his plastic cup in salute to Smitty's toast and took a drink, catching Caroline's eye over the top of his cup. The shimmer of tears in her eyes told him she hurt every bit as much as he did. But rather than making him feel better, it only made the whole thing worse.
* * *
They worked their way down the three flights to the freight deck and piled into the Land Rover to drive off the ferry into the bustle of Old Harbor. Ted was squeezed into the back seat between Parker and Smitty, who had Caroline on his lap. This is a nightmare, Ted thought, as he glanced over to find Smitty's hand curled around her shapely rear end.
Chip navigated around bicycles, pedestrians, baby strollers, and motorcycles as he drove them to Ted's parents' Corn Neck Road home, which sat high on a hill. The back of house overlooked the Great Salt Pond where hundreds of boats were anchored. Crescent Beach was across the street from the front of the three-story Victorian main house. To the left of the house, a huge white tent with plastic panel windows stood ready for the party on Saturday evening. The two-story guesthouse sat to the right of the main house.
Mitzi Duffy came running out the front door of the main house as the car traveled up a crushed-shell driveway lined with pink cabbage roses. Mitzi was tall and athletic with shoulder-length ash blond hair and the same blue eyes as her son. She wore a white tennis dress that showed off her deep tan.
Smitty lifted her off the ground and planted a loud kiss on her cheek.
"Put me down, you oaf." She giggled as she usually did at Smitty's antics.
"Mrs. Matilda Mitzi Duffy, this is my girlfriend, Caroline Stewart." Smitty presented Caroline with a flourish. "Caroline, this is my adopted
mother, Mitzi."
Mitzi kissed Caroline's cheek. "So happy to meet you, Caroline. Welcome to Sea Swept."
"Thank you, Mrs. Duffy."
"Oh, please, call me Mitzi," she said as she hugged and kissed Chip, Elise, and Parker.
"Got any love left for me, Mom?" Ted asked with a teasing grin.
She reached up to hug her son. "Maybe just a little."
The scent of her Chanel No. 5 reminded Ted, as it always did, of home. "Good to see you."
"You, too, darling, but you look like hell." She clucked with disapproval as she held his chin and studied his face. "Have you been getting any sleep?"
"Of course not." When he looked up and saw his grandmother standing on the porch, Ted walked across the driveway and took the stairs two at a time.
"Hello, my love." Her gray-blue eyes crinkled with delight as she smiled at her grandson. "I've missed you."
"Me, too." He kissed her lined cheek, and when he hugged her, he caught a hint of her Emeraude, another scent of home. He hated that she seemed tinier and frailer than she had a month ago. "You look lovely, Grandy. Did you just have your hair done?"
She smoothed a hand over her snow-white hair. "This morning," she said. "Your mother's right. You look exhausted, sweetheart."
"I'm fine." He offered her an arm down the stairs so she could greet his friends. "Are Tish and Steven here yet?"
"They're on the three thirty boat," Lillian replied. "Who's that big hulk of handsome man you brought with you, Ted?"
Smitty grinned as he folded the elderly woman into a gentle hug. "Hello, love of my life," he said before he introduced her to Caroline.
"Pleasure to meet you, dear." Lillian shook hands with Caroline. "You've got your hands full with this one."
"Nah, he's easy," Caroline said with a smile and was rewarded by snorts of laughter from Smitty's friends as they unloaded the Land Rover.
"What did you do to your leg, honey?" Mitzi asked.
Caroline accepted her crutches from Smitty. "I broke my ankle a couple of weeks ago when I was running with Ted in Newport."
"Oh, too bad," Mitzi said. "Well, at least you were with the right person when it happened."
"He was awesome," Caroline agreed with a glance at Ted.